H

just your friendly neighborhood spiderman.

[honeymaegayle]

It's us , and I hate dragging you back and forth on feelings . Its taken me a long time to realize I would never get over you .I'll admit that I'm completely terrified on how much I want you . I think of you every passing minute I'm awake. I've never understood the reason why you looked at me with such love in your eyes, and I never understood what you saw in me. I know I didn't deserve you , I didn't deserve to feel the touch of your hands slowly entangled with mine. I didn't deserve the late night calls or to hear the words I love you. But last night seeing you in red , the colors we wore to our first dance, our first date. Seeing you smile and have fun , living your life to the fullest , makes me so envious.

I wanted to be with you , all night last night. I'm trying so hard to get over you, to move on , to live my life , to be happy. But loving you is the only thing I've done right in my life , and I can't do it anymore. I hate that I love you , I have that I cried over you , I hate that i didn't say goodbye to you, I hate when Kim told me you were exiting the building I turned to the tree and pretended to be interested in the type so you wouldn't see the tear stains on my face , I hate I turned to face the building when you drove away. I'm trying so hard to stop loving you , to get use to it. But last night I became completely unraveled, and I feel like I'm in pieces . I'm not fine , but I'm trying to be strong so you don't think you did something wrong . I can't let you go , and I can't keep you either. So , I'm not very well . But I'm trying.

[honeymaegayle]

I miss you in the Summer, i miss you in the spring.

I miss your warm hugs when Donovan sings.

Fall is hard, but the winter is harder.

I wish you protected me like you guard her.

It doesn't make sense, nothing is right.

I didn't mean to fight a wordless fight.

Memories and holidays arise in the times,

They remind me of when you were still mine.

Anger,Confusion, sadness, and guilt.

Trip me like a clumsy girl falling into the train tracks.

But the train isn't coming, i tripped myself.

If I had mustard the courage to set it all straight,

Then maybe, just maybe, we wouldn't hate.

But this isn't we, it's just mostly me.

I feel so lonely, and very empty with you gone.

College, miles, distance and time.

Too much between us, I can't even make this rhyme.

I miss you, I do. I wish that I didn't. This time of year, is what's messing with me. isn't it?

You might see this, you might not, but either way, just give it a thought.

Call my number, it's still there. And trust me when I say I still care.

Call any time, get a note book and paper. I got a lot that could make it all waiver. But you'll never see this, and you'll never care. Your probably off getting drunk somewhere, and another girl will call, and she'll walk you home. And those letters you wrote for me, will find a new home.

I'll be okay, I'll be alright. I'm right where you left me, just hidden in plain sight.

I should have left you in that ditch, in the dark that halloween. And things could have been different, better then they seem.

Christmas could be happy, Thanksgiving could be fun.

I wish you hadn't met me, for one.

You gsve up to easily, you gave up too fast. This, was never built to last.

Because you wanted a bandaid, a quick easy fix. But nothing can fix what she did.

I've been thinking, maybe she was right. Even telling the truth. Because all you've done is spread lies and broken my trust. I hate you, I Do. And the pain is still there.

Your everywhere I look, every crowd, every chair.

But it's over, and that's okay. I'll manage, I'll deal.

I'll see you at our high school reunion, in let's say, 20 years?

[honeymaegayle]

I'm new what do I do🤭