It's us , and I hate dragging you back and forth on feelings . Its taken me a long time to realize I would never get over you .I'll admit that I'm completely terrified on how much I want you . I think of you every passing minute I'm awake. I've never understood the reason why you looked at me with such love in your eyes, and I never understood what you saw in me. I know I didn't deserve you , I didn't deserve to feel the touch of your hands slowly entangled with mine. I didn't deserve the late night calls or to hear the words I love you. But last night seeing you in red , the colors we wore to our first dance, our first date. Seeing you smile and have fun , living your life to the fullest , makes me so envious.
I wanted to be with you , all night last night. I'm trying so hard to get over you, to move on , to live my life , to be happy. But loving you is the only thing I've done right in my life , and I can't do it anymore. I hate that I love you , I have that I cried over you , I hate that i didn't say goodbye to you, I hate when Kim told me you were exiting the building I turned to the tree and pretended to be interested in the type so you wouldn't see the tear stains on my face , I hate I turned to face the building when you drove away. I'm trying so hard to stop loving you , to get use to it. But last night I became completely unraveled, and I feel like I'm in pieces . I'm not fine , but I'm trying to be strong so you don't think you did something wrong . I can't let you go , and I can't keep you either. So , I'm not very well . But I'm trying.