BKDK / Xiao Ho

Valorant has me in a chokehold now

[inazumatrash]

[yumbrite]

[doubleca5t]

tumblr finally getting its shit together and improving the user experience right around the time when all the other social media sites are collapsing due to greed and hubris is like the kids who got out of their small town to move to the big city finding love and settling down in their 30s just in time to watch their high school bullies get divorced

[cirquedugrotesque]

[heritageposts]

made a beginners guide for the twitter newbies hope this helps <3

[paladitos]

who is telling men that having gray in their hair is ugly. why are they fucking lying

[paladitos]

who is telling women that having gray in their hair is ugly!!!!!!! why are they fucking lying!!!!!!!

[paladitos]

[drawingscaracauseiluvhim]

[caesarsaladinn]

So much of what is “cringe” is just… earnest.

[argumate]

what if you made an honest expression of genuine human emotion and someone saw it!

[the-bluespirit]

adrienette vs marichat, which will be angstier

[lalunaoscura]

one day I’ll stop making memes on my phone but today is not the day

[hotvampireadjacent]

-_- my sister took my jacket before leaving without asking and now she’s in jail for 24 hours wtf even the jacket gets arrested too

[neopoints]

I can’t fucking open this jar of pickles I’m taking it to planet fitness to see someone stronger than me can

[neopoints]

[cartethyia-fleurdelys]

[cartethyia-fleurdelys]

“By the way, um.. You and Xiao seem pretty close, huh?”

[mirukimoonie]

no xiao, you may not die, not when you’re my only good dps

[melonboyy]

[medusick]

this is so wholesome 

[tiredassperra-deactivated201704]

honestly i just want this to spread because i’m so sick of the heteronormative narrative of ‘lol hate my wife/gf so annoying stop talking’ like… if you don’t want to hear them talk don’t be with them that’s what a relationship is i don’t

[preciouspetsmaster]

My exact Reaction to my little Lambkins when she tells me.

[melonboyy]

brah your what

[norunningbythepool-deactivated2]

[done]

I feel this is really under-appreciated

[thebootydiaries]

The year is 2022. You’re driving home from work, wifey calls & asks you to get some diapers for the baby. You grab roses for her. Life’s good. She’s crying in the closet you forgot the diapers what’s she gonna do with roses idiot there’s shit everywhere this is why your parents never loved y

[thebootydiaries]

The year is 1351. You’re driving your ship home from work, wifey calls and sends you to the local store to get some rags as diapers for the baby. You grab a bouquet of flowers for her too. Life’s good. You both die from the plague

[thebootydiaries]

The year is 2020. You’re driving home in your tractor after voting for Trump, the man of your people. Your sister calls and asks you to get some diapers for the baby you bought from the Walmart parking lot last week. You steal roses for her on your way out. Life’s good

[thebootydiaries]

The year is 2068. You’re staring at the most beautiful stranger. She explains to you that she’s your wife. You have dimentia. You smile and take her hand as your grandchildren jump around the room. You’ve lived a good life. Suddenly you’re staring at the most beautiful stranger

[thebootydiaries]

Anyway I’m back on my bullshit

[thebootydiaries]

The year is 2019. Your fiancé just got you roses in your big house with 3 cars and 5 dogs. You did all this to tweet it with “We’re only 19, what are you doing with your life?” You got 5 retweets. He’s been buying roses instead of food for weeks. You can’t cook. You haven’t eaten in 3 days

[thebootydiaries]

The year is 2018. You’re scrolling through Tumblr and you see a post by none other than thebootydiaries. “Goals”, you think to yourself. Yes, this was it. What you’ve been waiting for. Your entire life has led up to this. Your fingers shake as you type your comment. “Goals.” You hit reblog as you’re trembling, the chair squeaking ever so slightly. “I can’t wait to forget diapers, and have dementia.” You sigh. “And buy a house, dogs, and cars. And…and…” goosebumps race through your entire body. “And get the plague.”