crackimagines but its ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Name's Chris/Admin Makoto! This is a side blog for Fire Emblem: Three Houses NSFW, the main blog is Here! [https://crackimagines.tumblr.com/] Read the rules before sending an ask, if you would! [ https://hooboycrackimagines.tumblr.com/post/616692188606234624/new-nsfw-blogrules]

[crackimagines]

BLOG ENDING ANNOUNCEMENT, But...

Yes, you read that right. Crackimagines is finally going to be ending.

With real life kicking me down repeatedly, and a general lack of sparks for writing, I decided it’d be best to lay this old blog down. 

It’s brought a lot of memories, both happy and sad, and I am happy to have met all the people I have thanks to it.

This blog will remain here, as a way for everyone to enjoy the content produced here, yes, even my ol Danganronpa stuff (Which is still getting notes btw like wtf)

…

…

You might be noticing a lack of “I’m going to be leaving and I’m glad you all followed me” and that line of thought.

That’s because I ain’t leaving tumblr.

Which means:

THE CRACK AIN’T OVER YET!

While crackimagines may be ending, a new realm of memes is being reborn!

I have a new blog going up:

https://crackreborn.tumblr.com/

This imagines blog is multi-fandom and is no longer confined to Fire Emblem, and anything I’ve written here is fair game there! Just read the rules and such of course.

There will be some slight changes to how I’ll be handling things there, but its still gonna be the experience you know!

Besides, if I ever leave tumblr, I ain’t leaving House Isekai unresolved. I put too much time and thought into that AU to drop it here.

For my old veterans, it’s gonna take a LOT more to put me down.

As for those of us just joining, apologies for the confusion, just migrate to that blog and let’s start again shall we?

This isn’t goodbye, it’s a whole new start! - Chris, Formerly Admin Makoto

[hooboycrackimagines]

Heyo! I dunno if my ask got eaten up about the Dorothea nsfw alphabet?

Oh i have it, alongside everyones! Lack of motivation has been the culprit but hopefully that's changing real soon!

[hooboycrackimagines]

IMO the handholding jokes are still funny

I mean sure but theres only so many times you can repeat the joke before its run into the ground.

[hooboycrackimagines]

Wait, the ask box has been empty for this blog? F o r r e a l?

Yee. Its why no posts were made for a really long while

[hooboycrackimagines]

So, do you want to write some threesome stuff?

Frankly I’d be happy to write anything since the inbox in this side blog has been completely empty.

[hooboycrackimagines]

Out of context Sara made me think of threesome between her, byleth and megunee.

holy crap this is the first ask in here in weeks

HOO BOY

That’d be one hell of a way to resolve the love war

[hooboycrackimagines]

NSFtK Alphabet

(Not Safe For the Kiddos)

I am still takin them, anon! And you got it! Honestly, I think you might be the very first person in this community asking for Manuela at all.

Manuela

---

A = Aftercare,  I = Intimacy,  V = Volume

Aftercare -

She’s usually passed out at this point, but she does like putting her head on her partner’s chest. It makes her feel safe.

Intimacy -

Far more intimate than one would think. Due to her time in the Opera House, she doesn’t settle down with just any man, instead the perfect one and one that loves her.

Though the way she acts about sex is casual, when it’s actually happening she is extremely loving and wants her partner to feel that way, in exchange wants her partner to feel the same way towards her.

Volume -

It depends on how much alcohol’s in her. If it’s little to none, she is rather quiet, always softly moaning.

If she has had a LOT, then the moans can be heard throughout the entire building they’re in.

[hooboycrackimagines]

NSFtK Alphabet

(Not Safe For the Kiddos)

I’M YOUR GIRL Annette

---

J = Jack off,  L = Location,  O = Oral,  P = Pace, T = Toys

Jack off -

She masturbates if her partner isn’t available or whenever she feels a bit too stressed. Most people never suspect she would considering her status before the timeskip.

Location -

Annette doesn’t have a favorite place, and just enjoys having sex with her partner wherever, though she will NOT do it in public.

Oral -

She loves giving and receiving equally and is VERY good with her tongue to the benefit of her partner.

Pace -

It’s rough, fast, but passionate. Though depending on the nights and how romantic she and her partner are feeling, she does prefer sex a bit slower pace.

Toys -

She doesn’t own any toys, but improvises with things like bottles, bedframes and her hands.

[hooboycrackimagines]

NSFtK Alphabet

(Not Safe For the Kiddos)

Konosuba 3H Masterlist here!

----

Darkness and Ashe

---

A = Aftercare,  D = Dirty secret,  S = Stamina,  Y = Yearning

Aftercare -

Ashe is very loving with Darkness after sex, much to her dismay. He always calls her by her real name when doing so and usually is the one to hold her.

On extremely rare occasions, Darkness tones her libido down enough to be the one holding Ashe, especially if he’s had a bad day.

Dirty Secret -

Darkness enjoys being treated well by Ashe.

...Yeah, that’s it for her. 

It’s due to constant kind treatment of Ashe that she eventually began to like it, in some ironic way considering she’s a hardcore masochist.

As for Ashe, he sometimes thinks about asking Darkness to put HIM in the blindfold and handcuffs, but knowing her flippant personality, he isn’t sure how to ask. Or how she’d react.

Stamina -

Darkness being a paladin lasts for an (ironically) unholy amount of time, always outlasting Ashe everytime they have sex. In fact, she kept driving Ashe towards the edge while he was at his limit and ended up making him pass out.

Ashe has a normal amount of stamina, able to go for two to three rounds of sex.

Unfortunately for him, his wife is Darkness, which means he has to exceed that limit FAR more than he can count.

Yearning -

Darkness has an extremely high sex drive, and now that she has someone to help her with it, there will rarely be a time where she and Ashe do not have sex more than 6 times a week.

Ashe never had a high sex drive to begin with but had to adapt when Darkness came into his life.

[hooboycrackimagines]

NSFtK Alphabet

(Not Safe For the Kiddos)

BEST GIRL Dorothea

---

A = Aftercare,  C = Cum,  K = Kink

Aftercare -

Dorothea is extremely loving after sex, always cuddling up to her partner or letting them rest against on her chest. 

She’d pepper them with kisses and say things like “I love you” as they start to drift off to sleep.

Cum -

She loves the feeling of it on her chest and body, like a feeling that she belongs to her S/O and only them.

When she cums, it usually ends with her moaning her S/O’s name very loudly.

Kink -

She has a praise kink, she gets more aroused the more her S/O starts moaning in pleasure or saying her name. She starts to lose herself if they hold onto her while saying how good it feels.

[hooboycrackimagines]

Timeskip!Annette walking in on F!Byleth trying on some new lingerie, with Byleth noticing in the mirror. Byleth just smiles and asks Annette to stay and give her opinion on what she's wearing, so long as Annette is comfortable. Annette decides to stay, not being nearly as flustered as she thought she would be, and before long she's also in her underwear and asking Byleth how she looks, with Byleth being extremely comforting and loving in the process.

You pretty much wrote this ask yourself anon.

[hooboycrackimagines]

Who would do this (‿!‿) ԅ(≖‿≖ԅ) to their special friend

Most likely Hilda, Dorothea, Leonie and Mercedes.

[hooboycrackimagines]

Trails Of Cold Steel 3H AU Masterlist

---

Sara Valestein and Byleth

MAJOR HERESY UNDER THE CUT

(Including the real ask)

---

- When Byleth pulled away from Sara’s kiss, she pushed him upwards and started to smile.

(Sara) “I want to do something new tonight...”

- She grabbed a bottle of wine and started lightly pouring it over her body.

(Sara) “Well? Drink up.~”

- Byleth’s face flushed red before nodding, leaning over and licking her body all over as the wine slid downwards.

- With his tongue going over her breasts and stomach, Sara’s moaning was starting to get louder.

- She poured a rather large amount of wine as she tightened her legs, letting the wine form a small pool.

- Byleth put his face between her legs and started to drink up as his tongue went inside her.

- She was slightly jealous of Byleth, getting such a good taste from the wine and herself.

(Sara) “How about I treat you too with this, Byleth...?~”

(Byleth) “...”

(Sara) “...Byleth?”

- She raised an eyebrow as she grabbed his head and lifted it up, realizing it was closed.

- Her eyes slowly drifted over to the wine bottle label and realized it too late.

(Sara) “Oh, that was red wine...Shit.”

The Next Morning...

(Byleth) “Ngh...wha-...?”

(Sara) “Uh...h-hey sleepyhead! Guess I treated you so well your mind blanked out.”

(Byleth) “I-I did? Weird, usually that happens to you first. Sorry about that.”

(Sara) “Hah, don’t worry about it.”

- Byleth looked over and noticed the wine bottle and started to remember what happened.

- He glanced over to Sara, furrowing his brows as she started whistling.

(Byleth) “How the hell do you drink that and not pass out?!”

(Sara) “...S-Sorry.”

[hooboycrackimagines]

Who out of the 3h girls would send their significant other a dirty text in public

Probably Dorothea, Hilda, and Mercedes

[hooboycrackimagines]

Oh, you touch my tralala~ Mmmm my ding ding dong.

Oh boy I love 2006

[hooboycrackimagines]

I'm fine with it, if there's no eye-watering Xenololi Futanari Slaanesh-Tier vore garbage.

[hooboycrackimagines]

Angelica and Dorothea have sex after a date that went really, well.

(Towa) "Hey Angelica! How was your date with Dorothea?"

(Angelica) "Oh, it went fine dear. And she was REALLY fine too...~"

(Towa) ???

(Sara) "Uh, too much info there."

(Cocytus) "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"

(Sharon) "It's best not to dwell on it, Master Cocytus!"