that is, until I met you

currently watching the vampire diaries for the first time and documenting the process. Once Upon a Time is what led me here six years ago, and captain swan will always be the beating heart of this blog. izombie • once upon a time • modern family • Disney • friends • new girl • vampire diaries

[fearlessplatinums]

I bet you think about me…

[tylorswift-deactivated20250623]

TAYLOR SWIFT in I BET YOU THINK ABOUT ME (TAYLOR’S VERSION)  dir. Blake Lively | 2021

[hookwillalwaysfindemma]

The first time I listened to All Too Well I was waist-deep in heartbreak from my first love (and still my only love). The lyrics hit hard and it almost felt like the song was written perfectly for me. Now I realise that it wasn’t a coincidence that I just so happened to be feeling the same thing that the song talks about. Taylor has this amazing talent for writing lyrics that are so poetic yet vivid that it transports you right back to the time when you felt those things. That heartbreak was four years ago for me, but still, listening to that song brings back all of those raw emotions. And yet, that song didn’t just make me wallow and cry over my heartbreak. It helped me. The fact that someone had put into words exactly how I was feeling made me feel comforted somehow. I shouted those lyrics at the top of my lungs, and I might have had tears in my eyes, but each time I heard it my heart healed a little bit more. So, for everyone who used to brush Taylor’s music off as cheesy break-up songs - don’t underestimate the power of a well written song, regardless of the subject matter.

[hookwillalwaysfindemma]

Bringing this back. For obvious reasons. FYI, it's now five years since that heartbreak and yep, this song still takes me back.

[salvatoregilbert]

Elena Gilbert + Ponytails The Vampire Diaries (2009-2017)

[hookwillalwaysfindemma]

Deciding to watch the Vampire Diaries finale when I'm on my period is something I'm going to live to regret

[hookwillalwaysfindemma]

Yeah I regret it.

[hookwillalwaysfindemma]

Deciding to watch the Vampire Diaries finale when I'm on my period is something I'm going to live to regret

[hookwillalwaysfindemma]

Guys I was just in bed on my phone and I did one of those random 'my future husband's name' filters on Instagram and I was thinking about the love of my life from uni three years ago who I never fully got over and HIS NAME CAME UP. First time. It's not even a super common name. Is this a coincidence or is it fate telling me that we're gonna get married and have three kids

[hookwillalwaysfindemma]

Guys I’m so nervous. Like I mentioned a couple of post ago, my manager is leaving and so are a few others from my team, and I think this is going to provide opportunities for progression for me which YES, is exciting, but it’s also terrifying. I hate public speaking and I just feel out of my depth and scared to take on more responsibility, but I also know that this is exactly what I need in order to grow. Ugh

[hookwillalwaysfindemma]

RED, TAYLOR’S VERSION IS COMING. NO ONE TOUCH ME

[hookwillalwaysfindemma]

So today I found out my manager is leaving, who is literally the best manager and friend I could ever ask for. She’s supported me so much in my first full-time job and made me feel so comfortable. I’m so sad to see her go :( I hate change.

[hookwillalwaysfindemma]

Do I watch the Vampire Diaries finale or do I choose not to destroy my soul

[hookwillalwaysfindemma]

Saturday morning 15 min dance workout done  ✓

Dance workouts are honestly fab for people like me who detest working out. I look forward to doing it, but I feel utterly exhausted after so still feel accomplished. Highly recommend!

Next on the agenda: Breakfast 

Hope you’re all having a wonderful Saturday  ♥

[hookwillalwaysfindemma]

Me @ Julie Plec when I finally finish The Vampire Diaries:

I never got past what you put me through, but it's wonderful to see that it never phased you

[hookwillalwaysfindemma]

So I posted quickly before about going for that drive I mentioned, but I wanted to do a separate post now. Basically, it was terrifying. It's in a different town to me so the surroundings are quite unfamiliar (though I had planned the route and had my sat-nav as back-up). I also stalled on a hill but started up again quickly and didn't get beeped at - woop! But I did it. I DID IT. I'm not going to lie, this was a huge deal for me and I'm proud. My manager let me log off early today so now I'm in the garden soaking up the sun. Hope you're all having lovely Mondays 🌤

[hookwillalwaysfindemma]

Okay so, after my last post about feeling anxious re driving, today I went for a drive with my dad and we passed the route to my friend’s house, and I felt like I might actually be able to do it on my own?? I’m supposed to be seeing her next weekend and I really want to try and drive there myself if I can. I’ll probably do a practice drive one day this week to build my confidence a bit beforehand. It’s only a short distance but there are quite a lot of tricky junctions/one-way streets and I don’t like relying solely on a sat-nav because it makes me too anxious - I like having at least a vague idea of where I am. But I’ve been looking at the route on Google Maps and I think I can do it guys. I believe. (Stay tuned because there’s a good chance I’ll change my mind by tomorrow)

[hookwillalwaysfindemma]

Update: GUYS I DID IT

[hookwillalwaysfindemma]

Okay so, after my last post about feeling anxious re driving, today I went for a drive with my dad and we passed the route to my friend’s house, and I felt like I might actually be able to do it on my own?? I’m supposed to be seeing her next weekend and I really want to try and drive there myself if I can. I’ll probably do a practice drive one day this week to build my confidence a bit beforehand. It’s only a short distance but there are quite a lot of tricky junctions/one-way streets and I don’t like relying solely on a sat-nav because it makes me too anxious - I like having at least a vague idea of where I am. But I’ve been looking at the route on Google Maps and I think I can do it guys. I believe. (Stay tuned because there’s a good chance I’ll change my mind by tomorrow)

[hookwillalwaysfindemma]

late night thoughts

I’ve realised that driving and transport is honestly where most of my anxiety stems from. Like obviously I get anxious about other things too, but nine times out of ten it’s related to having to go somewhere I’ve never been before, getting a bus route I’ve never got before, or just driving in general, because if you’ve followed my journey (check out #driving anxiety on my blog) you’ll know that I find driving very stressful.

Tonight my friend just casually mentioned meeting in her garden one weekend, and my dad is really good with me and usually drives me anyway, but for some reason it spiralled into me following the route to and from her house on Google Maps (it’s quite complex with lots of one-way streets) and just left me feeling really anxious before bed. I felt like I couldn’t relax so I popped on a sleep meditation (called Get Out of Your Head by Sleep Meditation for Women on Spotify if you’re curious) and it really chilled me out. I was able to peacefully enjoy my cup of tea before bed (very important). Basically I’m just writing this for me, but also for anyone who might need to read something like this. If you’re feeling anxious at the moment, you’ve got this, take your time, your mental health should always come first. And if you just feel like you need a chat, I’m here for you - drop me a message anytime <3

Sending love and positive vibes to you all x