Hug Me [J-Hope/Hoseok; Angst]
“As the days pass it grew bigger, this vacant space of yours. Oh shit, it used to be so beautiful the flower bed we watered, even still, all the full blooms have become only memories.”
[From “Hug Me” Taehyung & J-hope version; Trans cr; Mary @ bts-trans ]
Hoseok x Reader; angst, some fluff
Summary: You and Hoseok were married, but the married life you thought you would be living is nonexistent now. You two were like strangers living in the same house. You knew his heart was no longer yours, but you still loved him. When the end of your marriage was near, you made him promise to stay with you for just one more month. One month was all you needed to finally let him go.
{A/N: I had read about a true story in the internet a long time ago and it still resonates with me to this day so I got the inspiration from that story and also the song. Hope you enjoy my first attempt at full angst xO}
When you had said yes to marrying Hoseok, you had imagined your life would be endless sunshine, giggles, cuddling, and dancing in the rain like it was when you were dating. But somewhere along the way that glass globe of happiness broke and you began drifting apart.
Now moments were spent alone and feeling lonely. You had a young daughter to tend to and he was always busy with work. By the time he got home, you were in bed and he would leave for work, day after day without seeing each other.
The house was now silent, save the laughter of your child or the sounds coming from the television. When you had the chance to eat together, the air was stifling, neither one of you knew what to say to the other anymore.
You knew that he had fallen out of love with you.
You weren’t the person he had married. You were thinner now. You were less energetic and you no longer had that twinkle in your eye. Hoseok touched you less and less, and you passed each other as if you were strangers in your own home. You slept with your backs turned, wondering when it had spiraled down.
The first time you knew he had fallen in love with someone else was when you smelled perfume on his shirts as you were doing the laundry. Then he came home with a bright smile, the same smile that used to be directed at you. The smile would fade when you came to greet him, but he was your husband, there was nothing about him that didn’t go unnoticed. Slowly, he stopped coming home every day, and it tore you to pieces.
But nonetheless, you couldn’t leave him.
You wept, hugging yourself, curled in a sea of blankets in the bed that felt twice as large without Hoseok in it. Yet every morning without fail, you made him coffee and breakfast just in case he came by in the morning to change suits.
Hoseok knew what he was doing was wrong, but his heart no longer fluttered when he looked at his wife. He no longer felt the desire to share things with her or even take her on a date. They had begun shutting each other out and he had begun being drawn to one of his gorgeous co-workers.
She was aggressive like she used to be, initiating the physical contact daringly. She played with his hair when they were alone like his wife used to. He felt more at home in her arms, than in his own house with his wife and child.
"Marry me.“ She whispered one night as they lay in bed, entangled in each other’s bodies.
Hoseok’s heart fluttered at the command, and he kissed her on the forehead. "Let me tell my wife first and then I’ll ask you properly.”
She smiled and nuzzled into his chest. Hoseok smiled. He was finally going to free himself from his current stifling marriage.
You weren’t surprised when Hoseok finally asked for a divorce. You had been waiting for some time now. You knew he wasn’t working overnight whenever he said so, but lying in bed with another. But you knew you could no longer give him the happiness he deserved. Regardless, you couldn’t bring yourself to break off the marriage first.
Although he was breaking your heart and although he was lying to you and sneaking around, you still loved him with all of your heart. He was your only husband, your only love. And it wasn’t entirely his fault that your marriage had turned into icy stares and cold expressions.
He had the papers all set and ready. All he wanted you to do was sign it.
"Let’s not stop ourselves from being happy, Y/N.“ he whispered, trying to justify himself.
He knew you saw through his lies, but the fact that you had never gotten angry at him burdened him more. He couldn’t look you in the eye, knowing his guilt would eat at him when he saw the genuine sadness in them. He had promised to make you happy forever when he proposed, but neither of you were able to keep your wedding promises.
You took the paper gently out of his grasp and smiled warmly.
His eyes fluttered towards you. It had been a while since you had called his name. Come to think about it, it had been a long time since he had heard your voice. His heart hurt at what had become of you two, but knew that he was making the right decision.
"I’ll sign this, but can you promise to do something for me first?“ you whispered.
Hoseok nodded his head. You had never asked him for a favor in years. You always cared for him and your daughter on your own.
"All I’m asking for is a month.”
Hoseok observed her eyes look down solemnly.
"For a month, carry me to and out of bed, and hug me when we sleep.“
Hoseok stared at you in confusion. That was all you wanted? Why was that all you wanted from him?
"And even if it’s not true anymore, tell me that you love me before we sleep and when we wake up.”
Hoseok could hear your voice faltering and he also felt a lump form in his throat at your words. You really had known all along.
"For a month then.“ Hoseok breathed.
He owed you that much after all.
After explaining the situation to his girlfriend, Hoseok was home every day. He had given you the divorce papers to hold onto until the end of the month, as a sign that he was going to fulfill his promise. Your heart raced at the thought of him holding you once again. It became something you looked forward to.
On the first day, it was awkward. He wasn’t sure where to put his hands and you weren’t sure if it would be okay to wrap your arms around his neck as he carried you. It solidified more than ever that you two had become strangers. You had known each other for years, but the people you were now were probably the worst versions of each other. Versions that you had never thought would surface.
He carried you to bed quietly, realizing that neither of you had been this near to each other in so long. Gently, he laid you down and slipped in next to you. Carefully, he wrapped his arms around you from behind and you felt tears slipping down your cheeks at the feeling. Although, his hold was loose and hesitant, his warmth was still close to you finally. You had craved it for so long but knew it was too much to ask for, especially now that his heart belonged to another. You were reminded of all the nights you two had cuddled and talked about your future together.
How foolish you two were. How foolish, yet how in love.
Hoseok felt your body shaking and he heard your stifled cries. It hurt him to see you like this and it pained him that things didn’t work out the way either of you had imagined. You were crying because of him yet he couldn’t even bring himself to hug you tighter to comfort you.
"I love you.” he whispered and your body shook even harder at his empty confession.
A tear rolled down his cheek as well. Closing his eyes, he fell asleep to the sounds of your sobs with a heavy heart.
"I love you.“ Hoseok stated as soon as you opened your eyes.
With a pained smile, you gazed at him. He lifted you in his arms and took you to the kitchen. While he was getting ready for work, you made him breakfast. Silently, you two sat across the table. You fed your child while he scrolled through his phone and ate.
On the second week of the promise, it had become a routine for you two. Hoseok picked you up easily and now he dared to wrap his arms around you tighter before bed. In the middle of the night, he would find you turned around, facing him yet still in his embrace. He took this time to study your features lovingly, where no one would judge or catch him staring. Then he would pull you to his chest; feeling your unconscious smile against his skin sent butterflies to his stomach.
Your daughter looked forward to the mornings when she would see Hoseok carrying you out.
"You look like a prince carrying a princess, daddy ~” she grinned and squealed excitedly, insisting that she wanted to be carried like that too.
The mood drastically changed in your house towards the end of the second week. Hoseok took the weekend off from work to spend time with you two. He wasn’t sure what changed, but he wanted to know more about what you two did while he was gone. He watched you play pretend with your daughter and carry her like she was a superhero. His heart melted at the way you smiled and at the sound of your laughter. That weekend all three of you sat and shared stories, some real, and some pretend. It felt like you were family again.
During this time, Hoseok carried you confidently to the bedroom with a grin plastered on his face. He snuggled close to your body and you felt his lips brush against your shoulder as he whispered, “I love you.” It never failed to bring tears to your eyes, knowing it was going to all end soon.
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