the choccy thief

hi im mentally ill, neurodivergent and queer | it/its pronouns | i brainrot abt mcyt & d20 rn | pfp by @/kish-go-squish

[hopefulyellowlamp]

had a revelation

[what-even-is-thiss]

The reason your snacks are unsatisfying is that you need both carb and protein.

Carb starts your engine, protein keeps it going.

No carb, engine don’t start. No protein, engine dies out fast.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Easy carb add on:

Cookie

Fruit (canned or fresh)

Chips

Piece of bread

Popcorn

Crackers

Easy protein add on:

Nuts

Spoonful of nut butter

Cheese

Roasted chickpea snacks

Glass of milk (dairy or non dairy)

Small canned sausages or similar

[what-even-is-thiss]

Sugar in there.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

[piouscoffeelover]

i miss you 2012 avengers. i miss you the avengers tower. i miss you irondad and spiderson. i miss you meme lord shuri and peter. i miss you loki lingering in the tower for no other reason than that he's the main love interest. i miss you poptart-eating thor. i miss you grumpy bucky barnes. i miss you old man, chronically offline steve rogers. i miss you clint in the vents. i miss you girls night with wanda and natasha. i miss you resurrected, shamelessly flirty pietro. i miss you clueless, socially inept vision. i miss you the rare bruce banner feature. i miss you sassy sam wilson. i miss you cheeky reader who always called fury by his first name. i miss you super nanny phil coulson. i miss you christmas avengers blurbs in the middle of the fanfiction written by an autistic 14 year old. i miss you 😔😔😔

[ivvyela]

nothing on this god's green earth can convince me that peter parker doesn't have an ao3 account where he is elbows deep in a 'rise of skywalker' fix-it fic. like, fully invested in it, been writing it pre-spider bite with ned, who is just as enthusiastic about it. but the thing is, it's really hard to do updates when you are literally spider-man.

every three months he'll post and in the author's note there's some shit like "sorry this took a while, i got shot seven times :/" or "i know it's been a minute, i literally got hit by a bus and then stabbed in the leg, but i'm all good!" or sometimes ned would log in and post with a note "hey i'm a friend posting on the author's behalf, they're healing from severe hypothermia but promised an update, so here it is!"

and the fic just gets increasingly more popular for the author notes alone. a good handful of the comments are something along the lines of "i'm not even in the star wars fandom, i'm just here to see if the author is good" or "every update i cheer for another day the author gets to live at this point"

and any reader who is a native new yorker kind of pieces together that holy shit the author might be spider-man because the timeline adds up, and they just fully embrace it. spider-man will stop a robbery and the guy behind the counter will ask when the next chapter will be up. spider-man returns a stolen backpack to a girl and she'll tell him that he "really got poe's voice down so well, it's really impressive."

ned thinks it is hilarious. mj finds out about the fic from twitter, to peter's absolute horror, and changes peter's contact name to "friendly neighborhood ao3 author". but the worst thing to happen is after an avengers battle where peter took a pretty big hit and ends up in med-bay. and during a press conference, when someone asks how spider-man is healing, tony just drops "spidey won't be down for too long. the star wars fic will be updated within the week, probably."

ao3 goes down for two days.

[rainydaymay]

Being high has me saying things like “I like friends” as if it’s some profound relization

[rainydaymay]

Actually I think I do this sober too

[rainydaymay]

I’m glad we’re in agreement

[loveridden1999]

i don't care what those tiktok and instagram influencers tell you, have three meals a day!!! have a snack!! have that sweet treat!! have food that makes you feel good!!! especially if you're a woman!! starving yourself to look "desirable" will only make you desirable to people who want you to stay malnourished forever. it's a cycle of misery!!

[felixcloud6288]

Listening to a podcast

"Let's take a word from our sponsor."

*Skip ahead a minute* "You can-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "Use code-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "300,000-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "300,000-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "T-shirts-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "Motherfuck-"

*Go back 15 seconds*

[felixcloud6288]

Oh we're all feeling this one aren't we?

[kitsuleif]

[earhartsease]

and that much ado? it's about nothing

[dizzyghoast]

every so often i remember how awesome the modern interconnected multicultural world is. i grew up getting to hear fairy tales from all over the world. africa, asia, europe, america. everywhere in between. i can have bagels for breakfast, curry for lunch, and ramen for dinner without even leaving the city limits. music and art and philosophy and technology that originated thousands of miles and years apart from eachother have come together and interwoven into something greater than the sum of its parts. its hard not fall into despair when thinking about the horrors but god. god the wonders.

[dizzyghoast]

you can have friends on the other side of the planet! neither of you even has to travel!!!!! you can just talk to them whenever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[datsderbunnyblog]

This comment was left on a post about making the most of the Libby app. "Excessive use of generous lending policies" is the most absurd phrase I've ever seen anyone use to discuss libraries.

[catboycommunist]

evergreen

[eleilinnrallin]

This is a reminder for those who handmake Christmas presents that now is not too early to start. It may in fact be a good time to start if you have a lot to make/your craft takes a long time. You should maybe start it now, whether that's brainstorming or actually doing the crafts!

[newtsoftheworldunite]

Translating this into tumblr's preferred public service announcement format for this kind of alert:

[kimberlychapman]

Or this preferred Tumblr announcement system:

[miniaturize]

i ❤ fact checking bold unsourced claims

[zonesoftime]

I like how looking for this post on your blog makes it look like you spent 3 hours checking whether or not apples are a type of fruit

[syn4k]

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

[joyflameball]

[from-and-for-nerds]

How hard it is to know which season a screenshot was taken from based on who's in it:

Murph: Extremely easy, this guy changes hairstyles more frequently than Brennan changes shirts.

Lou: You got some style variety in there, pretty easy as well.

Ally: You got the transition timeline to help you out but there are some seasons with overlaping looks that might get you.

Siobhan: Not easy, hair stays pretty consistent. Themed outfits and nails might point you in the right direction.

Emily: This woman has looked the same her whole life, you better hope she's wearing a themed outfit (which she usually will be).

Brennan: Speaking of themed outfits, this dude owns 4 shirts. You can go off of aging and facial hair, you're likely to be wrong.

Zac: You better hope this motherfucker is wearing glasses because those asian genes are fighting against any other change in his appearance.

[menecrates]

i don't like the person i become when someone is blocking the supermarket aisle

[menecrates]

i don't like the person i become when someone is blocking the supermarket aisle

[menecrates]

i don't like the person i become when someone is blocking the supermarket aisle

[troutreznor]

https://blinkies.cafe

[infestuous]

this post really attracted the lamest people in the fucking world