Hop In My Shoes

A honest account of my diapered life. Diapered everywhere but work. 18+ONLY 30(F)

[hopinmyshoes]

Hi. I’m bunny. I’m 30 years old. Female. Queer. Neurodivergent. AuDHD. Severe Trauma. Chronically Ill.

This is not a fetish or kink for me. The is nothing sexual about my diapered life or my use of items intended for babies or toddlers. I specifically do not use regression or go into agre spaces because they are not exclusively 18+. While my content is not sexual the line is too easy to blur and I’m not comfortable with that. My content is intended for 18+ ONLY.

Everything I do and use is to help love and raise the little girl inside of me in a safe and unconditionally loving way. They way she should have been raised from the beginning.

I do not judge those who participate in this lifestyle as a kink. I have been a little for 10 years, an AB for 4 years before realizing anything sexual made me less little and less safe in a regressed space. I have my own kinks that I participate in when I have the emotional and physical capacity.

I am happy to talk about my journey. I am happy to talk about my diapers. I will not engage with people overtly sexualizing me. I will not find a caregiver by you asking me to be my daddy. That’s gross and gives the community a bad look.

last year I found myself with 100% stress and trauma induced incontinence. I attempted to keep up in real time with my experience here online but in October I had to take a break for my mental health. During that time I regained most control of my bladder again but I loose it quickly if I am stressed or go more than 12 hours of not using diapers. Essentially I can work or go on planned outings without a diaper so long as I have taken care of the stress in my life.

The most effective way I have found to accommodate all of my sensory and emotional needs and to reduce stress on my body has been to allow myself to utilize my baby and toddler items as my body and mind demand.

Now that I am in a bit of a better place I am going to try to pick it back up again.

I am dependent on my diapers. They make me a very happy baby. But I am also a real adult with real responsibilities and I have to live life. So this is going to be an account of how I balance those two things.

[sinful-daddy]

[hopinmyshoes]

Update

So many things have changed since I last posted here. I’ll do my best to be better about it.

I have been through some ups and downs with my incontinence. A few weeks worth of potty training can usually result in some time where I can hold it for short times. I wouldn’t call it potty trained though, I have to be really careful about my fluid intake, I have to be close to a bathroom with easy access and I need reminders to go because I can’t tell if I need to go with a lot of accuracy.

I am currently dual incontinent. I wake up messy almost daily or I mess within an hour of waking. I am learning to cope with this and still get out and live my life.

unexpected tidbit. Messy diapers are bigger than wet diapers.

I’ve switched from cloth diapers to Northshore MegaMax Lites. I change my diaper 3-4 times a day. And I’ve been enjoying using my social media for outfit of the day diaper edition lately.

[lovesecondgradethings]

[fluffynappy]

Such a cute retro baby

[errored-girlparts]

Theres like so many girls out there who dont know theyre too little to be acting that old. Sweetie what are you doing working an 8 hour shift? Thats for grownups, you're clearly supposed to be in daycare yet. Did you get lost? Do you need someone to hold your hand? Is there someone we can call to come pick you up?

[hopinmyshoes]

Spoiled diapered princess. So excited for my new binkis; I wet.

It’s not easy to live a life where even too much excitement means wetting myself. Sad? Wet. Scared. Wet. Overwhelmed? Wet. Suprised? Super wet.

I live my life protected and padded so no matter what I am feeling I know my diaper is going to keep me safe. Wetting into my diaper is so calming to me when I’m scared or overwhelmed. The sudden rush of warm surrounding me, the weight pulling on my hips and bum, the bulk growing and spreading my legs; it all grounds me and helps me stay present. Diapers are my grounding tool when the world is too much. Diapers are my safety when nothing else makes sense

[hundredacrepapa]

regressor with a dissociative disorder who struggles a lot to stay grounded

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀x

carer who researches grounding methods and makes lists of the best ways to bring their baby back to them and all the things that help keep them aware

noticing your little one's eyes glazing over and finding them a comforting song or soundscape, handing them their plushies or blankets and offering them your hands to squeeze

gently humming and drawing shapes on their skin, asking quietly if they know what you're doodling

taking them into your lap and rocking them, letting their head rest against your chest, your heartbeat in their ear

[hopinmyshoes]

I love this. Dissociative episodes are extremely vulnerable and when I am experiencing them I need my most basic needs cared for because in that moment I cannot. Bringing me “back” means creating a safe space to come “back” to.

[hopinmyshoes]

love matching my binki with my outfits and it’s even better when they match my diapers.

[sweetxwx-deactivated20250709]

[hopinmyshoes]

I’ll be over here. Just being me.

[hopinmyshoes]

I’m feeling more and more capable lately. I’ve been tackling my room. And it’s been months of I’m honest. Every step is emotionally exhausting because what I have left often has emotional value to me. Plus my autism is a big player in why I assign huge amounts of emotional value to seemingly mundane things. Then there’s the physical labor of moving things. Even a year ago I was more capable than I am now. It’s hard not to be mad this wasn’t done sooner. It’s hard not to stomp my feet and be mad this wasn’t done when my body could handle it better. But instead I choose to reward myself through it. To accommodate my emotional needs to complete the task.

Today cleaning started with a diaper change. I needed to be clean and dry to start. I had snackies in my cups. And I had my sippy filled with JUICE. 🧃. I took breaks to play with fun things I found. I used my chewy whenever I wanted. My room is almost done and my space is finally my own again. I can’t wait to have the opportunity to decorate it to be more me.

I didn’t eat enough today. I couldn’t make any food go down. Maybe back to purées for awhile. I’ve seen some amazing roasted veggie soups that I feel can be thickened into purées for me.

[buttercupagere]

it is not weird to be comforted by "childish" items.

surrounding yourself with things that bring you comfort is something that everyone does, not just regressors or dreamers. it's natural for "childish" things to bring you that comfort.

the literal purpose of pacifiers is to soothe. kids shows are meant to be fun and kind and easy to consume. sippy cups are naturally less stressful because they don't spill and they are easier for people with mobility issues.

so it isn't embarrassing or weird to enjoy using these things as an adult. they are serving their purpose, and they are making you happy. that's a wonderful thing.

whether or not your childhood was bad, whether or not your inner child needs healing -- if you find peace in "childish" things, that hurts no one. it is a perfectly valid way to cope.

[hopinmyshoes]

Using these items allow me to be a more “functional” adult.

I drink more water from a sippy or bottle than I ever have from a cup.

I consume more nutrition through purées, bottles and small meals cut into small bites with my toddler spoons than I ever did trying to eat “normally”.

My bladder and kidneys are healthier because I’m not always holding it or not drinking water to avoid accidents.

My jaw, teeth and head hurt less because my binki and chewies keep me from grinding my teeth when I’m sleeping or stress stimming.

Onesies hold my body just right. Like an all day cozy hug. They help support my diaper and keeps it against my body and that feels like the best hug. This keeps the PTSD episodes manageable so I can leave the house more often and live a more full life.

Right now I’m still embracing all of this. Allowing myself to use them all freely and without shame or judgment. I love the woman I am. I love the girl I am. I love the person I am. And she deserves to be loved as she is, for who she is, and for what makes her feel safe and comfortable.

[the-girl-with-the-red-hat]

you tried to hold it, didn’t you? you tried so hard. but your diaper’s warm and heavy now, and you’re looking at me with those big eyes. it’s okay, baby. i’m proud of you anyway.

[hopinmyshoes]

“That’s what your diaper is for. Good girl for drinking your water and filling your diaper. I’m so proud of such a good girl.”

Sometimes I just want someone to talk to me kindly and lovingly like some people talk to their babies. With understanding, unconditional love and pride.

[hopinmyshoes]

Starting to feel more brave. Dug out an old onesie because I am still sad about my delivery. 📦

Today I woke up late. But I needed to run errands. I started with a disposable but immediately knew I’d be overwhelmed at the store without my bulky cloth holding me tight. I have a lot of medical stuff going on this week and I’m extra sensitive right now. Before I would shame myself into a pull up or worse panties; I’d get overwhelmed and I’d end up in a meltdown or having to leave before I actually bought what I needed.

I’m so proud of myself for accepting what my body and mind needs to survive the day. Even when that means a thick cloth diaper, a onsie and a binki or chewy on the drive there.

I did all of my grocery shopping and got batteries. And then I headed to get a sippy cup. I love my bottle. It helps me relax. It helps me drink enough water. And nothing makes me sleep deeper and more soundly than a warm bottle of milkies. During the day, while working, while cleaning and just while being around I found the bottle to not always meet what I wanted. I was too cozy and would want a nappy rather than being able to finish what I was doing. I found myself not drinking water though the day; obvious by not enough wet diapers throughout the day. I know I need changes every 3 hours but I was going 5/6 hours and they weren’t wet enough.

I was so anxious. I’ve never worn a onesie out in public before. I’ve never worn shorts, always poofy skirts to best hide my diapy. But today was too warm and the skirts were touching my body wrong. So I tried something new. When I looked in the mirror I felt so ME. I felt happy and cute. I felt like this is what I’ve wanted to look like. But I was also worried about the bulk, the bulge and what someone might say if they noticed.

Two people stopped me today. One to tell me how cute my outfit was, that it reminded them of the 80s. And one to tell me they liked my backpack.

I stopped for a celebration smoothie and dipped into another store where I was able to find a couple of new binki leashes!

When I made it home I changed my diaper, washed my new sippy and sat down for lunch. Now I’m nursing my second bottle of the day before my afternoon nap.

Happy bunny bum

[dx-archived-deactivated20250826]

[hopinmyshoes]

I haven’t won the lottery but I came into some unexpected money and spent 1/4 of it on new diapers, onsies and bottles/sippy cups. 💕👀🧸

[hopinmyshoes]

I’ve been trying to go out more again. It’s scary going alone sometimes. My diapers make it so I feel more confident when I’m out in public. Like I can live a little more freely. No fears of over hydrating, or checking for bathrooms, or forgetting I have to go and holding it for hours until I have accidents. Just me finally drinking an appropriate amount of water, focusing on living or enjoying the outing and a very heavy diaper at the end of the afternoon.

Everything about the potty is overwhelming to me. Even at home. It’s a sensory hell, the transitions are torture and I know I avoid it at all costs. Diapers relieve me of that constant pressure. I use the potty 2 times a day and it’s manageable. It doesn’t completely unravel my next hour every time I need to wet.

Today I woke up with a full diaper and my binki still in my mouth. My bottle with just a few more oz of water I hadn’t finished before I dozed off last night. I rolled onto my back and worked on the last of the bottle as I woke up. Those few ozs of water were just enough to make me desperate for my morning milkies. I started to stretch and get ready to get out of bed. A couple of deep breaths and a sudden flood of warmth holds me tight. It’s almost cozy enough to lay back down to sleep.

I got up and waddled to the kitchen diaper heavy, warm and sagging. I started the hot water to warm my bottle and make my oatmeal. Binki in and ready for a change I got my supplies for my first change of the day.

Today I went out and I decided to try out my mega max diapers. After stripping out of last nights full diapy I wiped up and sat on the potty. Wearing headphones, using my binki and knowing I’m going right back into my diaper helps me get through sitting on the potty.

A good hand wash and I’m ready for my diapey. I put on my new mega max. I’ve worn one before but never used it. It’s not as soft or cozy or cuddly like my cloth diapers. But when I secured the tapes and stood up I felt my body relax and I felt safe and secure in my diaper. I love the way it goes all the way up my tummy and covers so much of me.

I went to the kitchen and ate my oatmeal. I miss getting to be a messy baby eater. I laid on the couch and drank my morning milkies and then got dressed to leave.

The first place I went I had to talk to a bunch of people and get a new bank card. The lines and the lights usually send me into panic but today I stayed calm and was done super fast. As a treat I took myself to goodwill and I found pull ups on sale! I use those for my better days now that I’m not Incontinent. After I went home and laid down for a short while before going to Costco. I was so proud of myself and almost done when I was suddenly highly aware my diaper was completely full. I hadn’t thought about it all day and I couldn’t feel how wet I was. I was blissfully unaware for hours. Going about my day happily and productively without knowing I had been filling my diaper the whole time.

This is one of the first times I’ve gone out diapered without a caregiver and it’s the longest by a lot. I didn’t have another diaper. My diaper was sagging and I was terrified it would start poking out the bottom of my dress. I payed for my things quickly and remembered I had promised to bring back a pizza. I was trapped there another 20 minutes. Fully aware of the slow trickle of wetting I was still failing to hold in.

I drove home with my legs uncomfortably wide leaving a wet spot in the drivers seat as I rushed in to get changed.

I love being wet. I love the feeling of the first time I wet a clean diaper. I love the feeling of my diaper getting heavier. I feel held and safe and secure. When I’m scared or anxious and I wet I almost immediately start calming down. When I’m super happy or excited I will wet. It’s never on purpose. That’s the confusing part for me. Wetting is natural for me. I can hold it if I have to most times now. But it’s uncomfortable, it’s taxing, it’s distracting, it’s overwhelming. I don’t want to hold it. I want to keep feeling safe and comfortable and happy in my diapers.

This was just a ramble of happy and thoughts from today. I’m back in my cloth diaper, tummy full of night time milkies and binki secured.

Happy diaper girl

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