✖ WARNING : ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE ✖

I provide the dumbest ideas possible.

[horrible-ideas]

Character A, lying on a chair : It all started when I invaded Prussia.

Character B : I'm not a therapist, give me my seat back.

[horrible-ideas]

Character A : Well, y'know what they say! If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again

Character B : Uh, that's not how it goes-

[horrible-ideas]

Thank you for 100 followers!!

Wow, I- I had no idea I'd even get past 2, but here we are! Granted, like, a bunch of my ideas are super unoriginal, and I had to delete the app long ago so a lot of these were created on the website on mobile (hence why so many of the posts are just a-and-b convos rather than anything else more fleshed out-ish), but it's still really appreciated you guys enjoy my horrible ideas. Now go get yourself a cookie, you've earned it.

[horrible-ideas]

Character A : Uh, I just think you're really pretty!

Character B : ...Oh my god.

A : Wait, that was a bad idea. Okay, uh-

B : No, no, it's just... Wow that was wholesome, oh my god. You're too precious for this world.

[horrible-ideas]

Character A : Holy shit, she beat us at our own game.

Character B : I blame you for digging our graves. Now you've spawned God and she ain't lookin' too happy.

Character C : *sobbing in the corner* I want to go home...

[horrible-ideas]

Interviewer : Alright, list me some strengths.

Character A : I can draw the pi symbol really well!

Interviewer : Uh... Okay. Can you do any equations with pi?

A : Nope. Just the pi symbol.

[horrible-ideas]

Character B : God, why won't anyone ever take me seriously?!

Character A : Maybe it has to do with the sparkly teddy bear you sleep with every night, I dunno.

[horrible-ideas]

"Someday you'll come face to face with whatever saw fit to let you exist and you'll have to compensate for the space you've wasted."

[horrible-ideas]

Character B : See, and this becomes the true paragon of hilarity. Because this idiot is really approaching me instead of running away or cowering in fear. They're just inching closer.

Character A : It's hard to beat the crap out of someone if you're far away.

[horrible-ideas]

Character A : So we went overboard.

Character B : How do you set fire to a pool?!

Character C : Birthdays are stressful, leave me alone!

[horrible-ideas]

Character A : Alright, it's time.

Character B, excitedly standing up with a blade in hand : Finally! I've waited way too long for this!

A : No! We're just gonna- Talk to them in a not violent way.

B, sighing : A, there comes a time in your life you have no faith left in humanity, but there's oooone sliver left.

B : And that's you.

B : So please let me kill them or you're killing my faith in humanity.

[horrible-ideas]

Character A : Hey, what's with the bandage on C's head?

Character B : They were smooching their reflection so hard they cracked the mirror.

A : Did we reach the point of concern?

B : No, we've crossed that line ages ago.

[horrible-ideas]

Character A : We almost died but hey, we made it!

Character B : That was my least favourite memory.

Character C : I tripped and fell on my face.

B : That was my most favourite memory.

[horrible-ideas]

B glares at A. "Hey, you got some sort of problem with me?" they demand. A's own stare hardens. "You know what you did." "Do /you/ know what I did?" "Not anymore but I'm in too deep with my petty hatred at you that it's probably important."

[horrible-ideas]

Character A : I like you.

Character B, horrible with flirting : Heyyyy, me too.

[horrible-ideas]

Character C : Okay, what brought you two in here?

Character B : This idiot thinks it's legitimate to play Christmas music the day after Halloween.

Character A : Well, excuse me for being festive, you damn grinch!

C : Uh-

B : If you mess with my Spotify playlist to play only Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas is You, I swear I'll kill you.

C : Guys-

A : Take down my ornaments and we're gonna have a problem. You know it cost me a fortune to get those really good candy canes.

B : It's literally the beginning of November! What good reason is there to play holiday music and decorate at this time of year?!

A : Only people who don't have a stick so far up their ass would really understand the beauty of being in touch with their Christmas spirit.

B : IT'S THE DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN, A.

C : This marriage is doomed.

[horrible-ideas]

B stands beside A, shaking their shoulder. "C'mon! Let your hair down a little, be a little wild!"

A tugs at a small tuft of their hair which was much too short to be in any sort of style. "...Uh, I think I got the hair down part."