HP Horrible Goose Fest

A new fest where writers are paired with a "goose" to help them get over the finish line with a WIP.

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HONK

With twelve incredible works the inaugural HP Horrible Goose Fest has come to a close. Thank you to everyone who created, goosed, hyped and encouraged this fest. We have had so much fun, and are so proud of the hard work put in by our creators.

Without further ado, see below for the Masterlist for HP Horrible Goose Fest 2024. You can also find the full collection here.

My Roommate is a Cow by @waterfalls-moon Drarry, G, 899 + art

What We Fought For by @skywatcherrose Minerva McGonagall/Poppy Pomfrey, M, 23.1k

Fragile Development by @amethystheart2421 Regulus Black/Remus Lupin, M, 28.8k

Stormy Weather by @mintawasalreadytaken Drarry, M, 17.3k

I Think You Can In Europe by @gallifrey1sburning Drarry, T, 17.8k

To Build A Bower by @eveningstruggle Hermione/Draco, T, 8,7k

A Purr'fect Coincidence by @sybilevergreen Hermione/Draco, E, 9.2k

Pubic Relations by @andithiel Drarry, E, 22.6k

The Gray in your Eyes by @etteishere Drarry, T, 8.2k

Potter and Associates Inc. by @daniskatra Harry/Severus, E, 39.6k

A Design For Life by @maesterchill Drarry, E, 76.9k

My Grandparents House by @annanother-thing Drarry, E, 192.7k

A huge thanks also goes to our wonderful Geese, you honked and encouraged and (lovingly) pestered, and this fest wouldn't have happened without you.

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Horrible Goose Fest Honkorable Mentions

The end is in sight! We've had such a fabulous fest with some brilliant finished works (see them all here). Because the goal of goose fest was to encourage creators to continue their works in progress, we wanted to make a post celebrating those that made progress during the fest, but didn't quite meet our fest deadline.

MissQuigley added 8k words to their drarry WIP, The Great Outdoors!

Featuring: established married Drarry, misunderstandings, and a shared penchant for exhibitionism 👀

@toxik-angel wrote 6k words and FINISHED their drarry fic, The Forest Dragon. It's now marked complete on AO3, so go give it a honk and some love!

Featuring: mentally unstable Draco Malfoy, wholesome kid content, Harry gets kidnapped by a dragon, Seer Ron Weasley, Non-linear narrative, and a Ron-Draco friendship (kind of)

And many many wonderful words were added to WIP docs by some very talented creators, and we look forward to reading these works when they are shared with the world.

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My Grandparents House

By: @annanother-thing Paring(s): Drarry Rating: E Word Count: 192,706 Warnings/Content: No Archive Warnings Apply Goose: @dryrsheet

Tags:

Post-Hogwarts, House magic, fluff, Slow Burn, no slower, glacial burn, sexuality crisis, grief, panic attacks, family history, coming of age, growing up, brief homophobic language,, dancing, Auror Brutality, the Ministry is fucked up, Old Magic, Wandlore, references to prehistory, my personal obsession with dartmoor, explicit sexual content, only in the epilogue tho, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, feelings realization, non-sexual intimacy, mental health issues, changing friendships, the feeling of being left behind when all your friends are getting married, alcohol, jealousy, flying, seekers game, i have too many feelings about this whole fic, internalized homophobia, coming out

Summary:

Grimmauld Place is refusing to be fixed, his friends are getting married, and still Harry feels as though he hasn't been able to move past the War. But a surprised discovery in the attics of Malfoy Manor leads Harry to a house that had been inhabited by Potters for a thousand years, nestled in a Dartmoor valley, surrounded by protective enchantments that kept it hidden for a quarter of a century. With Draco's help, can Harry make this house his home? And can he help the magical community in Devon that has had their traditional ways of life attacked by the Ministry with no one to plead their case? A story about two boys, a house, healing that is necessary but not urgent, and why being the only single friend in an unfulfilling job in your twenties is not a failure.

A honk of appreciation from goose JD:

where to start! anna weaves a story drenched in the ache of healing and growing pains. the soft, beautiful world she builds around the reader softens all the hurt as Harry learns how to create his future by connecting to the past he lost and leaning into the responsibility of protecting vestiges of an old magical community. this is a slow burn, like SLOW, but the romance of it is indisputable. slow dancing? unspoken devotion? thoughtful and conscious support? i could go on for DAYS. this fic is about soft, sweet love that acts like a balm, even in the face of injustice. 

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A Design For Life

By: @Maesterchill Paring(s): Drarry Rating: E Word Count: 76,887 Warnings/Content: Implied/referenced sexual assault, terrorist attack, implied/referenced monsterfucking Goose:

Tags:

enemies to lovers, time travel, hogwarts eighth year, post-hogwarts, depressed Harry Potter, magical accidents, drinking games, talismans, magical empathy perfume, potions, sex pollen, implied/referenced terrorism, doppelganger, the ministry of magic is corrupt (Harry Potter), auror corruption (Harry Potter), safehouses, captivity, prison, implied/referenced sexual assault, terrorist attack, minor character death, drugs, drug addiction, coma, magical theory (Harry Potter), magical artifacts, ley lines, magaliths, road trip, ireland, boat trip, Gilderoy Lockhart the self insert writer, Pebble Potter (OC), minor Draco Malfoy/Gregory Goyle, Greg Goyle is good at sharing, implied/referenced monsterfucking, bathing/washing, adventure, mystery, on the run, runes, rituals, race against time, wanking, sex, ancient magic, getting together, brief suicidal thoughts, angst and fluff and smut, angst with a happy ending

Summary:

Harry Potter doesn't want to become an Auror. And Draco Malfoy would quite like to stay alive and out of harm’s way. Neither have any desire whatsoever to time-travel into the future, especially not with each other. But fate? Well, she has other plans.

A honk of appreciation from goose @citrusses:

You are not prepared for this time-traveling, mind-bending romance from the incredible Maesterchill! This is a fast-paced fic fueled by page-turning* (*browser-scrolling) action that still finds time to be packed with humour, scorching sex, and incredible character development. Harry's narration is pitch-perfect: the way he feels about Draco evolves from such a wonderfully prickly resentment (not to mention finding him frustratingly gorgeous) to something absolutely soul-consuming. I had such a wonderful time watching Maester build this magnum opus, and I am so excited for the rest of you to experience it!

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Potter and Associates Inc.

Title: Potter and Associates Inc. Creator: daniko https://archiveofourown.org/users/daniko/pseuds/daniko Pairing(s): Harry Potter/Severus Snape Rating: Explicit Word Count: ~38,500 Warnings/Content: Getting Together, Hogwarts, Canon-Typical Violence, Past Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley Goose: merlins_basilisk

Tags:

getting together; Hogwarts; Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE; rimming; anal sex; canon-typical violence; past Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley; curse breaker harry potter; severus snape lives; Headmaster Severus Snape; POV alternating; pining; Wizard's Duels (Harry Potter)

Summary:

The year is 2010. Potter and Associates Inc. are hired to break into the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

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The Gray In Your Eyes

By: @etteishere Paring(s): Drarry Rating: T Word Count: 8,202 Warnings/Content: No Archive Warnings Apply Goose: Nocturn

Tags:

suicidal thoughts, getting together, pining, mutual pining, expecto patronum | patronus charm (harry potter), POV alternating, 8th year, fluff and angst, harry potter is obsessed with draco malfoy, draco malfoy is obsessed with harry potter, friends to lover

Summary:

Malfoy said without greeting, "Thank you." "For the trial?" Malfoy looked at him again, this time openly enough to make Harry feel like the floor was about to consume him—and later he would come to know it wasn’t him, but maybe his soul. "For winning the War." "It was a team effort, really." Malfoy smiled, and Harry didn’t understand why it made him a bit dizzy. "I know, Harry."

A honk of appreciation from goose Nocturn:

I am so thrilled to recommend The Gray in Your Eyes. The healing from repressed trauma, dry and dark humor, and little moments of brightness sparking between Harry and Draco are all so lovely.  Everyone go take a gander at this incredible fic! 

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Pubic Relations

By: @andithiel Paring(s): Drarry Rating: E Word Count: 22,677 Warnings/Content: No Archive Warnings Apply Goose: @nv-md

Tags:

EWE, PR Manager Draco Malfoy, Quidditch Player Harry Potter, Seeker Harry Potter, Coming Out, The Daily Prophet are Dickheads, Snark, Banter, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Resolved Sexual Tension, Kissing, Blow Job, Rimming, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, First Time Bottoming, Denial of Feelings, Emotionally Constipated Draco, Getting Together

Summary:

“Potter, do you trust me?” Potter barks out a surprised laugh. “You? Not a bit. Your professionalism? Yeah, maybe.” “Why, Potter!” Draco says and brings a hand to his heart. “That was almost a marriage proposal!” Potter just shakes his head, snorting. He draws a hand through his messy hair, and it’s not sexy at all the way his biceps flex, the way he’s more relaxed now, comfortable in Draco’s presence. The corners of his mouth twitch; it’s barely visible, but Draco notices. “Fuck, this is going to be a hell of a ride, isn’t it?” Reluctantly, Draco feels his lips stretch into a grin. “You don’t even know the half of it,” he drawls. “Buckle up, Potter.”

A honk of appreciation from goose Ali:

It was such a joy to see Andithiel write this fic, and I feel beyond lucky that I got to read it from start to finish. There’s so much to love about this fic: the humor and banter, the UST, Draco and Pansy’s friendship, Harry’s prickliness, just to name a few. It’s funny and sweet and hot and I can’t recommend it enough. I promise it will bring a smile to your face! 

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A Puur'fect Coincidence

By: @sybilevergreen Paring(s): Dramione Rating: E Word Count: 9, 241 Warnings/Content: Creator chose not to use archive warnings Goose: PearlButtons

Tags:

Head boy Draco Malfoy, Head Girl Hermione Granger, Fluff, Romance, Slice of Life, Smut, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Denial of Feelings, Hurt/Comfort

Summary:

Mistress didn’t seem to like the Wizard with Silver Hair very much. Whenever they were in the same room, she would try to avoid his stare. And at night, when Mistress was in her bed, she would let out these strange yowls, her voice filled with agitation. Crookshanks couldn't help but wonder if it was her way of expressing her disdain towards the wizard, as if she wanted to confront him. Oh, how peculiar humans were.

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To Build A Bower

By: @eveningstruggle Paring(s): Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy Rating: T Word Count: 8, 773 Warnings/Content: No archive warnings apply Goose: @greeninkredletters

Tags:

Co-workers, harry potter epilogue what epilogue | EWE, post-war, pining, POV draco malfoy, simp draco malfoy, Ministry of Magic Employee Hermione Granger, Ministry of Magic Employee Draco Malfoy, getting together, anxiety, brief mention of panic attacks, the mating habits of bowerbirds, no disrespect to matildas intended, this was supposed to be a joke and here we are: the eveningstruggle story

Summary:

She has a cat, the same ugly orange thing that she’d had at Hogwarts. She lives in a flat in Clapham Common, has a bird-feeder outside her kitchen window, and is engaged in a war of attrition with the squirrels who believe they are entitled to her Songbird’s Favourite Patio Mix. She wears glasses most days, but contact lenses when she has an important meeting. She loves hazelnut and is allergic to kiwi. She finds Ted’s golf stories tedious.

And now he can add to the Granger, Hermione entry that a piece of pale mint green glass, tossed and tumbled through a thousand ocean waves, is enough to make her stop at his desk and speak to him. -- or: Draco stumbles across a surprising way to get Hermione’s attention.

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I Think You Can in Europe

By: @gallifrey1sburningsburning Pairing(s): Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Rating: T Word Count: 17, 864 Warnings/Content: No Archive Warnings Apply Goose: @timothysboxers

Tags:

Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Angst with a happy ending, humour, or so the author hopes, charity functions, volunteer work, quidditch, burnout - freeform, emotional meltdown, self-care, or the severe lack thereof, self-esteem issues, i swear it's not as heavy as it sounds, overworked Harry, Ron Weasley is a good friend, Hermione runs a school with a silly acronym, Harry can't say no to a challenge, Draco is perfectly happy to exploit that fact, getting together, drinking, healthy boundaries

Summary:

”I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?” “I think you can in Europe.” - Ten Things I Hate About You Harry has too many things to do and too little time to do them. He hardly has time to eat or sleep, he almost never sees his friends, his flat is a disaster, and he can’t remember the last time he cooked something that wasn’t a boxed meal—but when someone needs his help, how is he supposed to say ‘no’? Everything comes to a head when former-nemesis turned mutually-antagonistic-acquaintance Draco Malfoy finds him hiding under his invisibility cloak to avoid taking on yet another project and issues him a challenge: cancel one single obligatory event and take an evening to himself. Easy, right? As it turns out, not so much. Luckily, Harry’s now got Malfoy there to bully him into taking care of himself, whether he wants to or not.

A honk of appreciation from goose Timothysboxers:

I am so happy to have the opportunity to yell about this work! It explores some (potentially) challenging themes around mental health, burn-out, and your own self-view. While some of these topics are sensitive for me, I have zero regrets taking this wonderful journey with GB [the Author]. Their world building, character exploration, and relationship development is a treat to read—peppered with comedy, sneaky punches to the feels, and rewarding realisations from some unexpected sources. Sometimes, it's okay to say 'no', and reach for what you actually need.

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Stormy Weather

By: @mintawasalreadytaken Paring(s): Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Rating: M Word Count: 17,459 Warnings/Content: Creator chose not to use archive warnings Goose: @dryrsheet

Tags:

Angst, substance abuse, power imbalance, sexual content, suicidal thoughts, roleplay, under-negotiated kink, number twelve grimmauld place

Summary:

One way of hurting a person is by holding them still. By being there. By saying, "I'll never leave you," and meaning it.

A honk of appreciation from goose JD:

Grace's prose style is gorgeous and physical. there are so many lines in this fic that made me have to stop and just luxuriate in the imagery she uses, and her metaphors and stylistic layout are like a sucker punch. the story itself is deliciously layered with implications and an unsettling awareness all the way through. we know it's wrong; harry knows it's wrong; some deeper, worse crime is lurking the entire time; and it is still so, SO very sexy. maraschino syrup flavored messy sex and uncoordinated decoration hide the real filth beneath. 

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What We Fought For

By Sky_Watcher_Rose Pairing/s: Minerva/Poppy Rating: M Word Count: 23,114 Warnings/Content: No warnings apply Goose: @siobhanhazel

Summary:

The immediate aftermath of war is overwhelming. But Minerva finds that she isn’t alone — and that beautiful things can happen if she gives them a chance to.

Tags

Post-Second Wizarding War with Voldemort (Harry Potter), Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Trauma, hints of PTSD, Portrait Banter, Late life love, Friends to Lovers, Headmistress Minerva McGonagall, Horrible Goose Fest 2024, First Kiss, Animagus transformation

A honk of appreciation from goose SiobhanHazel:

"What We Fought For" is such a tender exploration of Minerva, and the writer's care in characterizing her truly comes through! I love seeing Minerva in the immediate aftermath of the war, as she steps into the role of Headmistress and helps with repairs at the castle while struggling with her own emotions. Her new perspective lets her look at Poppy in a new light, and their budding romance is so, so, so sweet. It's the kind of fic that makes me want to get a big stamp and inkpad to scream CANON as I smash ink onto a printout of it! Please give it a read 💕

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So ... what is up with this fest? are you posting or have you stopped or what? there have been three missed posting dates according to your posting schedule. would love some kind of update. looking forward to the rest of the entries!

Hello! We had to take a hiatus due to the issues with AO3 impacting our ability to access the collection. We're sorry for any confusion.

But we are back from today, stronger than ever!

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My Roommate Is A Cow

by: @waterfalls-moon Pairing(s): Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Rating: G Word Count: 899 Warnings/Content: No warnings apply  Goose: @thunder-of-dragons

Summary:

The last thing Harry needs during the renovation stress is a burglar in the form of a highland cow making itself at home in his house.

Tags: Animagus, Animagus Draco Malfoy, Post-Hogwarts, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Roommates, Secret Identity, Slice of Life, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Getting Together, Animals, Highland cattle, Cows, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Secret Animagus, no actual cow cannibalism happens, Harry Potter is Not an Auror, Art, Traditional Art, Traditional Media, Horrible Goose Fest, Horrible Goose Fest 2024

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Fragile Development

by: @amethystheart2421 Pairing(s): Regulus Black/Remus Lupin Rating: Mature Word Count: 28,845 Warnings/Content: No archive warnings apply  Goose: @midnightstargazer

Tags:

Alternate Universe - Modern Setting; Alternate Universe - Muggle; Office; Inspired by Office Space (1999); Romantic Comedy; Minor Regulus Black/Emmeline Vance; Minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin; Infidelity(not between the main pairing); Minor Character Death; Layoffs; Hypnotism; Alcohol; Discussion of Abortion; Friends With Benefits; Mutual Pining; Jealousy; Break Up; Getting Back Together; Aromantic Sirius Black; Trans Remus Lupin; Sirius Black is a Good Brother; Regulus Black Needs a Hug; AU - American; Los Angeles; AU - Everyone lives; alternating pov; Mention of Domestic Violence; brief misgendering

Summary:

Regulus Black is a software developer for Gringotts, and he's miserable. Rumors of coming layoffs are making his coworkers paranoid. His girlfriend takes him to an occupational hypnotherapist who puts him into a relaxed state. He finally asks out the cute server at the Three Broomsticks, and starts to focus on his own happiness. Until layoffs at the company spur him and his friends to exact revenge - and things go terribly wrong. Inspired by the 1999 film Office Space by Mike Judge

A honk of appreciation from goose MidnightStargazer:

Fragile Development is a really clever melding of HP characters and the plot of the movie Office Space. It was a privilege to help make this fic happen, and I'm so excited for it to be posted. Great job, Nicole!

[horriblegoosefest]

Hold onto your feathers, because HP Horrible Goose Fest posting is here!

Our geese have been honking, our creators have been working so hard, and we are so excited to share these works with you.

Works will be posted on Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday until the end of the month - however this may change in the case of any unseen circumstances.

Without further ado, grab your favourite beverage and a snack and make yourself comfortable, because you won't want to put these down!

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Submission Info

HONK HONK, submission date is almost here!

We can't believe how quickly this has come around, and we are so so excited to share these creations with everyone.

Please see below for submission information. If you have requested an extension, you should have received a reply. If you have not, please reach out ASAP.

For those who do not have an extension, your fics are due this Monday August 5th.

Submission info:

There is no word count minimum but we do ask that you submit one fic, artwork, or podfic. Fics should be beta-read. Remember that geese are not required to beta (although they can if they'd like to). Podfics and translations must have either blanket permission or consent from the original authors to be included in the fest.

Works can be submitted in any language. There will be a space on the sign up form to let us know what language you intend to post. If our mod team is not fluent in your chosen posting language we will contact you to discuss options to help us make sure works are beta read and tagged according to fest guidelines. You may be asked to include a disclaimer that the mods are unable to guarantee comprehensive tagging. 

Creators will submit works to an ao3 collection and the following header information should be emailed to the mods. Multi-chapter works will be revealed on a single posting day. As the fest deadline nears, geese will write a celebratory rec of their creator’s work, which will be posted to tumblr. We are happy to provide guidance on writing a rec if you need it. Please add the fest account as a co-creator for your fic, we will remove this at the end of the fest.

Header for Fic:

Title:

Creator:

Pairing(s):

Rating:

Word Count:

Warnings/Content: (content warnings as well as general fic tags/enticements go here!)

Summary:

As always, please reach out to us if you have questions or concerns

The Goosefest Mods