CW SELF HARM SUICIDE HALLUCINATIONS AND DELUSION
All in first person because it's just easier for me to write
But this is luca's backstory
I grew up with my father who also had schizophrenia.
He wasn't a bad father per say but he wasn't always there.
He refused to take his meds and he was always on edge about something. But he did love me.
He actually named me after him so he would call me hombruna growing up.
He was my only parent too. My mother wanted nothing to do with either of us... which... I get. He wasn't exactly a stable person even when he was okay so I understand being afraid of me being like that too...
I grew up in several places.
Mostly new Mexico, Texas, and Oklahoma. I was always in and out of school because he would get so Paranoid about cps and the government that he'd move us to a new city or state at least once a year.
So I never was too social. I sucked at making friends and to be honest the only person I trusted was my dad.
He may have be Paranoid and drunk but I could rely on him to listen when I needed something.
I learned quick he wouldn't help me unless I asked for it, but I also was a pretty timid kid. I knew from the start he wasn't always able to help me. So learned how to fend for myself pretty quick.
If I did approach him and ask for help, which I rarely did. He would be right there and do what he knew how.
Which often was either fight shit head on or... run.
Around 17 I started hallucinating too...
At first I could hide it but eventually I couldn't handle it
I tried to keep as much off his plate but... I broke one night I was so bad I'd cut myself pretty deep and I was scared. I'd never done anything this bad and so I showed my dad.
He was definitely freaked out to say the least. I finally broke it to him I was seeing and hearing things and that's when it hit him the worst
He had a pretty bad delusion that the government was out to get us.
And that they were putting things in his brain.
So when I started showing signs he thought they were doing the same to me...
He packed our bags pulled me out of school and we fled to Canada. Or at least we tried.
We drove and made it to Washington. We were so close but he'd just gotten worse.
I was just 18 at this point so I had no idea what to do. And with my own psychosis kicking off we just fed off eachother...
I had enough one night and I ran away. I would always go on longer walks while I was growing up so he didn't worry until about two days in... that's when he called me over and over.
My head was just so heavy I couldn't answer.
I got voicemail after voicemail
A few asking me to come home and that he was living for me....
I still haven't listened to them all.
Especially the last one he sent...
He died that night and I blame myself for it.
After that I finally got help.
His funeral was covered by the homeless community I stayed with for a while.
As long as I stayed on my meds and got my ged they'd help.
And I did it. But I didn't stay that way.
I was so numb for most of it.
At first I thought it was because of his death but it just got worse.
My mind wouldn't work. So I finally figured it was my meds.
I stopped taking them. Stopped getting help from the homeless community. Started living on the streets
My hallucinations started again. And I lived like that around Washington for two years.
In and out of episodes, in and of jail for starting fights.
And almost went back when I had an episode in a park.
Thought the cops were gonna take me again.
And that's when I met gonda and taiyoshi.
They saved my ass... and that's where you meet me in the comic
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