Behind My Hazel Eyes

Hello stranger, welcome to Kristy's blog!

[horvathkristy]

Coastal Ruins (2025-2026)

Next stop: Alexandria, Egypt for TR4🦂 Incredibly proud to have this one finished! As I talked about it a little in the insta post (link above), I came up with the initial concept for this painting about 10 years ago. I think I even posted a little teaser for it here on Tumblr, it was that long ago!

Sometimes artworks don't work out and get put aside for months or even years, but they find their way back to you when the time is right.

[horvathkristy]

Coastal Ruins (2025-2026)

Next stop: Alexandria, Egypt for TR4🦂 Incredibly proud to have this one finished! As I talked about it a little in the insta post (link above), I came up with the initial concept for this painting about 10 years ago. I think I even posted a little teaser for it here on Tumblr, it was that long ago!

Sometimes artworks don't work out and get put aside for months or even years, but they find their way back to you when the time is right.

[horvathkristy]

Nevada Desert (2025-2026)

I'm back again! This next tribute to TR3 is taking us to the Nevada Desert 🐍

This one was a challenge, but after some ups and downs and lessons learnt, I think it's my favourite one so far!

[horvathkristy]

Nevada Desert (2025-2026)

I'm back again! This next tribute to TR3 is taking us to the Nevada Desert 🐍

This one was a challenge, but after some ups and downs and lessons learnt, I think it's my favourite one so far!

[horvathkristy]

The Great Wall (2025-2026) Back again with a painting from March, a painting of my favourite opening level in any TR game, The Great Wall from Tomb Raider 2. Always felt inspired by its atmosphere, you can just feel the thrill of a new adventure in the air!

[horvathkristy]

The Great Wall (2025-2026) Back again with a painting from March, a painting of my favourite opening level in any TR game, The Great Wall from Tomb Raider 2. Always felt inspired by its atmosphere, you can just feel the thrill of a new adventure in the air!

[horvathkristy]

The Lost Valley (2024-2026) I just remembered I still have my Tumblr, here's a painting from February! A tribute to Lara Croft and the original Tomb Raider game and its iconic level The Lost Valley 🦖 Started this back when the first remaster was released and after at least a dozen different versions it's FINALLY done!

Some closeups + alternate versions (because I added the sunglasses near the end. Also in my head I was convinced they were gold framed)

[brennacedria]

Random feel good thing that I think would be good for everyone’s egos: reblog with your favorite OC of the person you reblogged from in the tags. Reasons are optional. Any fandom.

[horvathkristy]

Guess what day it is?

Yes, the 23rd of December. And what that means is:

Happy Birthday to my babe, Jess! It’s her birthday in the modern AU, she’s 33 (I think?) today. I bet she’s really happy that she’s got an excuse to get drunk tonight

[horvathkristy]

To all my dear, wonderful friends and followers, I hope you are all doing well and surviving as best as you can.

I think about you a lot and about the times when I used to hang out here all the time ♥

[horvathkristy]

Can I just say that even though it’s never made me look at him “differently” (probably because he literally told me within the first hour we met before it was even a possibility that we would date), I love that my fiancé is bisexual and I love everything about him being bisexual.

[horvathkristy]

"Winter"

Started this one back in December when I needed a break from another piece I was working on. Originally I was just playing around with textures, creating an abstract background. I loved the cold colour palette, it inspired me to sketch a little winter scene to make up for the lack of an actual winter in real life, haha. Ended up creating a character and getting totally lost in the details. I was working on it gradually until yesterday when I finally got determined to finish it as it's been a whole year since I last posted a personal painting.

I feel a little bit out of practice and I think it took like ten times as long as it should've, but honestly just not giving up on it has already made it a success for me. Hope you like it too!

https://www.instagram.com/p/B7zRqW-llxz/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

[horvathkristy]

"Life is burning away"

[horvathkristy]

More college stuff. You can find them all here

[horvathkristy]

I feel more and more miserable and depressed and terrified every single day.

My fiancé and I talk a lot about our future. Getting a car next, a house eventually. He constantly talks about how it’s gonna be when we have a kid and the things we’re gonna do. He really does want to have a kid and he gets so excited every time. Just the other day we had to have a serious discussion and I asked him if he really wanted to dedicate the next 5 years of his life to studying, because by the time he graduates and can actually start a proper job, we’ll be 30 and should already be at the point where we have a house and are ready for having a kid.

But then I read the news every day about how our world is collapsing right in front of our eyes and that we’re pretty much fucked. (Call me negative, I don’t have a lot of faith in humanity that it will do anything it can or should to save itself.) And it’s just slowly sinking in how much my future is completely fucked too. We’re probably never gonna have our own kid. If we do, we have to live with the guilt that we brought them into this shit world. Even if we adopt, we’ll have to watch them suffer through it all. And yes, adopting is a good option and I guess that’s what we’re gonna do if we’re gonna do anything, but I just warmed up to the idea of having a child and it breaks my heart thinking about not being able to ever experience you know, pregnancy and all that comes with it. Just yesterday I got some stupid letter about my retirement savings, and (besides its actual contents pissing me off) all I could think of was, let’s be honest, I will probably never be able to retire. That whole thing is pointless. I’m at a point where I’m questioning whether it’s worth having any short-term plans, even for the next 2-3 years.

And everywhere I look, I’m told it’s my fault. It’s my fault for eating meat and driving a car, and flying home to visit my family once a fucking year. But then I spend hours researching into what alternatives I have and found out this and that are problematic for their own reasons too. What fucking choice do I have then? Nothing I ever do or consume will be completely environmentally friendly and ethical and all that? Unless of course I have the money to buy stuff that is all of those things but fucking expensive at the same time. No way I (and majority of people) can ever afford when I work a part-time, just over the minimum wage job. And for the record, I don’t have a car. Which is why I have to do a lot of my shopping online because I can’t just walk anywhere or afford to hop on a train and travel to one of the bigger cities so I can buy myself a new pair of shoes for work. It’s impossible for me to shop for clothes and shoes in local shops as a fat, short person with an annoyingly picky taste and also children’s size feet. I can’t help that I have such fucked up requirements, believe me, it’s been a pain in the ass my entire life and I’ve cried a million times because of it. Anyway, which one is better? Driving that car or having shitloads of non-recyclable plastic packaging from orders? And we do recycle shitloads, btw. Firstly, because it’s an enforced thing by the council here. The general waste bin they provide is barely enough, so it encourages you to be selective, but you can also get fined if you don’t do it properly. Now we’re doing it also because we want to. By doing this we’re already doing more than a lot of people.

I’m sick of being told it’s my fault. I didn’t ask to be born in this world. It’s not my fault that I was brought and forced into a fucked-up world with a fucked-up system that is impossible to get out of. Hell, I can’t even blame my parents, after all, they were just like me and my fiancé, simple people just trying to do their best and live normal lives and make plans and whatever.

I honestly feel like giving up most days. Nothing I ever do will be right or enough. My life is already really difficult but any hope of it getting better and easier is disappearing. I know I can’t and won’t give up though. I know I wouldn’t be able to just take my own life or something. But I can’t enjoy the little things life is worth living for when I live in constant fear.

I know this is very negative and sorry if you’ve come across this and it made you feel shit. I just really needed to get it out, and I didn’t know where else to do that. But maybe somebody will get a tiny little comfort from knowing that they are not the only ones carrying this weight.

Also, sorry that this is my first post in like a hundred years. Oh, good news though, I’m engaged.

[horvathkristy]

Shadow of the Tomb Raider is one of the worst, most annoying, most boring, most unoriginal, most infuriating games I have ever played. How anyone (especially some classic fans!!) can say that this is by far the best game in the trilogy and also in the last 10 years of TR history is beyond my understanding.

[horvathkristy]

This time last year I was living on sandwiches and the occasional frozen pizzas. Yesterday I roasted a lamb leg. Served it with roast potatoes and carrots, and a creamy garlic, rose and red wine sauce. And it was fucking amazing. I'm truly proud of the progress I've made.