this is a great outline of those who want to encourage their partner into this lifestyle. Agree with nearly everything he has written. We do, however, rejoice in her being a ‘slut’ - this is a proclamation of her sexuality and her sexual freedom and she is proud to call herself a slut as I am also.
You think you want your wife to be a hotwife? We can give a few things that will help, as we’ve learned in our explorations in this life.
1. Cherish her. If you don’t already love EVERY little thing about her, including her body as it is, how SHE wants to behave in public, who her friends are, what she loves to do, what shows she likes, what music she likes, what actually excites HER, you need to. Whether she became your hotwife or not, this is step 1. Learn to love all things about her and embrace them passionately as your first priority. Seriously.
2. Trust her. Completely. If you are encouraging her to dress sexy, to flirt with others, to kiss other people, to be touched sensually, to do more sexually, you must have absolute trust in her. You cannot question her faithfulness to you. You have to set all jealousy aside and believe in her that she is only opening up and exploring her sexuality, and looking to replace you.
3. Spoil her, a lot. If she mentions she would like to have something in passing, try to make it happen and surprise her with it for no reason, other than she deserves to have everything because she is your Queen and she should be honored, adored, and taken care of completely. Make her dinner often. Do the things she asks you to do without complaint. Go and do the things she loves to do. Compliment how she looks often. Compliment how wonderful a wife, mother, worker she is often and mean it. You should be able to have a lot of reasons that she is wonderful in all ways.
4. It has to be all about her desires, not yours. When approaching the hotwife concept with your wife, you have to establish the first 3 steps deeply with her first. She must know she is cherished completely, and that she has all of your trust. She has to feel like she is adored and is deserving to be taken care of and lavished upon. If those are established, you should be able to approach the hotwife concept with her. Tell her she is sexy, perfect, special and amazing. Open up to her about your desire to see her be sexy and flirty with other men/women, whatever you think would turn her on. Have a little wine with her and make it sexy fantasy talk at first, ask what she would be into if you allowed her to be sexy and open with others. You may really be surprised that she has withheld sexy fantasies from you, because she loves you thought it not appropriate. Do not push your own fantasy on her. It has to be about her, and you listening. It may take several times of these sexy talks before she really opens up about her desires. Take what she tells you and work with it. It will grow in time as she becomes comfortable talking about it.
5. Take it slow. If step 4 is going well, you have to gauge her comfort level. She may just enjoy fantasy talk for a while and not be ready to actually do anything. After she seems to be really into talking and fantasizing with you, then you can begin talking about going out with her.
6. Look at sexy clothes together. Don’t get too out of her comfort zone right off the start. She’s not going from cardigans to deep cut dresses and no bra the first time out. But, she will probably be willing to expand her sexy wardrobe with some positive reinforcement that she looks amazing. And, over time she will venture out and dress more and more sexy, of course the when appropriate for her comfort.
7. Take her out and show her off. Don’t be fixated to make something happen right away. Just enjoy her being sexy, flirty and outgoing. If she’s flirting, embrace it. Give her affirmation that she’s okay, and you are completely fine with her expressing her sexiness. Tell her you trust her completely, and you want to see her have fun and be uninhibited. She is free to explore. Just let her lead whatever that is. After a few times going out she may really be embracing her sexiness. She may dress more and more sexy over time. She may flirt more and more. You can’t push her forward through this time. She will want to expand her sexiness and openness in her own way. Remember, it’s not about you.
8. Embrace your hotwife. If you have been patient with your wife through the first 7 steps and allowed her to explore in her own time and her own comfort, you should be able to know what turns her on. It could be young men, black guys, older men, women, couples. The important thing is to gently encourage her to act on her desires, what ever they are, with your full acceptance of it. Over time she will know what she likes, where her limits are and you will have to respect those limits. Don’t push her to do more than she is completely comfortable with.
9. Explore places with like-minded people. Depending on where you live, there are likely swinger clubs or groups that meet at house parties. Try some of them out. If it’s uncomfortable for her, bail out and try another later. There are several wonderful resorts that you can take her too. Mexico and Jamaica have several that can be found on the internet, and they will all be very open and accepting of you both wherever you are in your comfort zone and boundaries. This is a great opportunity for her to let loose and open up more in a foreign country where no one knows her, and no one will judge her. Lots of open minded people and a week of all inclusive drinks help a lot!
10. Love her, embrace her. She is your wife first, not your sex object. Keep her as your top priority always, through everything. This cannot be about you getting off on her being a slut, or degrading her. Your hotwife can bring incredible excitement to your marriage, and provide decades of open, beautiful, fulfilling sexuality for you both. Have fun with it. Protect her. Fulfill her needs. Respect her always.
Please feel free to reblog and add to this. Anything else?
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