Summary: You decide you need to see Cassie one more time before fully letting her go from your life. So when you show up at her apartment, soaked through to the bone from the pouring rain, she has no choice but to let you in
Pairing: Cassie x reader (it's heavily implied reader is a girl/has female genatalia, and long hair or hair of some sort)
W.c: 7.2k | Part one is here!!
warnings/tags: adult language, age gap (although it's not really said; it's more of an implied thing), condescending!Cassie, dom!Cassie, subbish!Cassie towards the end, fingering, orgasm denial, jealous!Cassie, strap use, spitting (and not on the mouth shall I say), tribbing(? Is that the right word for it?), cassie's gold chain makes an appearance, the strap is referred to as 'her cock', pet names (baby, honey, sweet girl, sweetheart, etc.), 'good girl' is used many times, MEN AND MINORS GEEETTTTTT OUUUTTTTT THIS IS STRICTLY 18+
You had gotten really drunk. Really, really drunk.
Somehow, by a miracle (and probably the two full bottles of water Robby made you drink before going to bed that night), you had woken up without a major headache. You didn’t feel sick, either.
Your head just pounded when you sat up, but other than that, you were fine. Which is why Robby felt it was okay to stare at you, disappointingly, from the wall he’s leaning against, which connects the living room to the kitchen/dining room.
“What’s up, boss?” You yawn, stretching on the couch.
“Well, for starters, you’re sleeping on my couch.”
You look down, and around the room you’re in. “I mean, Trinity probably could’ve taken me home if that’s the issue.”
“No, she couldn’t have.” He shakes his head, raising a hand and pointing to the ceiling. “She’s sleeping in the guest room upstairs. Along with Dennis, who’s sleeping on the floor.”
You smile a little at the image rolling around in your head of the two of them in Robby’s guest room before stretching again and finally getting to your feet. Your vision swims a little, but before Robby can try to steady you, you do it yourself.
“I’m alright. I’m fine.” You insist.
“I have a pot of coffee ready on the kitchen counter. Please drink some.” He holds his hands in a prayer motion, pressing the tips of his fingers to his lips.
“Yeah, coffee sounds really good right now.” You’re not even that big of a coffee drinker. You prefer tea, if anything. Which is what Cassie usually will get you if she happens to be the one on a coffee run that morning.
Cassie.
You had forgotten all about what had happened last night between you and her. And now the name that once brought butterflies to your stomach has soured.
As much as the words help to channel your anger, the truth is is that you’re sad. You’re heartbroken. You thought that maybe something would’ve changed last night and she would say yes to actually dating you after she fucked you in that bathroom.
But some part deep in your mind had whispered to you that it knew that would never happen.
You sighed as you lifted the coffee pot to your mug, watching the steam curl into the air. It was decided that you would forget about it, about everything that happened. You wouldn’t bring it up in conversation; you wouldn’t corner her at work and try to pry it out of her; none of that.
Sugar was poured into the cup as well as cream as you told yourself you didn’t care. You told yourself you were mature. You told yourself you could handle it the way adults handled things they didn’t like- without fuss and without bitterness.
However, it all went down the drain when you walked into work the next day, and Cassie smiled at you as if nothing had happened. Not a real apology. Not even a “sorry, I shouldn’t have left you like that.”
Just that particular Cassie McKay charm. A nice, smooth smile that seemed like she’d practiced in the mirror and aimed directly at the parts of you that used to melt. ‘Used to’ isn’t the right word, however, because she could still melt parts of you without even trying.
But you remembered how her eyes had slid past yours when she said it. Like it was a choice, you were a choice she’d regretted making.
So now, you decided you weren’t going to be sweet about it.
If Cassie needed something, you helped. If Cassie spoke, you answered. If Cassie looked at you like she used to before, you kept your face neutral and your tone light. Light enough to pass as polite and heavy enough to sting.
You didn’t have to be cruel to be petty. Petty was just something you called it when you refused to give her access to you that she once had for free.
By the time lunch rolled around, you were somewhat depleted. You ate your sandwich. You checked your phone. You listened to Perlah and Princess talk about the fireworks shows, and the neighborhood parades, and who they’d heard had been drunk enough to confess love to the wrong person.
However, you were sort of excited. You had a date, after all. With Doctor Lorenz. And you weren’t going to let anything get in the way. The hours seemed to stretch on until it hit 7:30. You weren’t waiting for someone to give you the okay to leave; you were just out of there.
Doctor Lorenz was amazing. When she laughed, it was warm. She listened and waited for her turn to speak whenever you talked, and she said she was interested in you. Like very, very interested. Actually interested.
She didn’t have you confused about what her next move would be. It made the anger you had carried around all day lessen a little bit. So, you went home with her. Because why not? And she was good, really good. Had your legs shaking good.
By the time you got home, your phone was full of messages from Doctor Lorenz. She checked in, asked you to text her back when you made it home safely, asked what you’d like to do next time, if there is a next time, etc.
It should’ve been exciting.
It was.
But every time your mind drifted, it returned to the thought of: Cassie could’ve had this.
Cassie could’ve had you, whole and not half-taken, if she’d chosen to. If she’d acted like you mattered after she decided she wanted more than sex. But she hadn’t. She’d acted like you were disposable, and your petty streak flared again, bright and bitter.
But it’s not because you wanted to hurt Cassie. You could never hurt Cassie. You just wanted her to understand that it hurt you.
Work the next morning felt amazing, but you were tired. People moved around you like they were in their own world. You had barely sat down when you saw Cassie across the office. She looked…fine. Of course she did. Cassie wore fine like armor.
Her smile was bright, her posture perfect, her attention sharp. It landed on you, and you kept your gaze on your screen. You didn’t give her the satisfaction. Cassie walked by your desk, however.
“Morning.”
You answered, neutral. “Morning.”
For a heartbeat, it felt almost like before. Then Cassie’s eyes flicked down to your phone as your screen dimmed, but you hadn’t locked it fully, and the preview of your last message from Doctor Lorenz flashed long enough for her to see.
You watched as something registered in her mind, and she simply nodded before leaving you alone.
That night, you’d showered and dried your hair and changed into clothes that didn’t smell like work stress. Your phone sat face down on the counter.
But it felt like something was missing. Someone was missing. It had your mind racing and your heart beating fast. You wanted to yell, scream, something. So, you got dressed and started to walk down the front steps of your apartment.
You wanted her. Not Doctor Lorenz. Cassie. You wanted Cassie. So bad.
And soon enough you found yourself running to her apartment. It had begun to rain on your drive home, so you don’t exactly know what part of your brain thought this was a good idea. Clearly not the rational part.
At first you thought it was because you couldn’t stand being alone anymore. You were springing up the steps towards Cassie’s building, and your thoughts narrowed to one thing: You just needed to see her.
It wasn’t to beg, and it wasn’t to forgive her either. You just needed to look at her.
Your shoes thudded on the steps; you banged your fist on her door and waited a few minutes in the rain as you waited for her to answer. Water slid down your sleeves, down your arms. You were soaked through to your bones, rainwater dripping off your lashes. When she didn’t come, you banged again, knuckles against the door.
You swallowed your nerves and pride before they both made you turn and walk away from this all. Finally, Cassie stood there, watching as rain slicked your hair to your forehead, darkening it until it looked nearly black. Your hoodie was damp, your shoulders slick with water, and the warm light from her apartment was splayed in the back of her, making it look like a halo of bright light was shining behind her. Your eyes were too bright, too alive, too full of feelings you clearly did not know how to hold inside of you.
“Cassie,” you said, surprised that your voice didn’t crack. One of her hands was braced on the frame. Her expression went blank the second she saw you, but only for a brief second. It was back to being something like hurt. But she shouldn’t be hurt. It’s you that should be hurt.
Her gaze flicked past you. She needed proof of what you were doing, why you were here, whether anyone else was with you. Then she looked back at your face, and the jealousy hit her so fast.
“What are you doing?” She demanded.
Your breath was rough. “You. We just- I just needed to see you.”
Cassie stared at you like you had three heads. “You’re soaked,” she said, voice dropping.
“I know.” Your laugh came out shaky. But it wasn’t really even a laugh. “I didn’t plan it.”
“You didn’t plan it?” Cassie stepped back automatically, and it seemed to you as though her body had decided to let you in before her mouth did. “Come in.”
The second you crossed the threshold, the cold seemed to grab you harder. Your legs wobbled slightly, not from weakness but from shock. Cassie closed the door behind you with a soft click. And she reached for you, something you never thought would happen again. She reached for you, her hands finding your shoulders, guiding you toward the entry area.
She peeled your wet outer layer away from your body carefully, as if you were fragile. You shivered when the rain-soaked fabric moved, chills stabbing up your spine. Cassie noticed instantly, and her eyes flicked down, moving again over you, briskly. “Shoes off.”
“What?” You managed.
“Shoes off,” she repeated, firmer this time. You kicked them away, one by one. Wet socks slapped against the floor. Your hands trembled as you tried to fold your arms over yourself. But before you could even try to warm up, Cassie reached behind you, placing a towel into your hands.
“I just needed to see you,” you said again, softer this time. Like maybe if you repeated it enough times, it would stop sounding so desperate. Some flicker of emotion crossed her face, quick and painful. She took the towel from your hands and, without asking, began to dry you.
Slowly, around your hair first, patting your scalp, trying to coax the warmth back into you. Her fingers moved over your wet strands, friction gentle but certainly effective. Then the towel moved to your shoulders.
The care she took in trying to make you warm again, it made the anger flare to cover the surprise. You tried to turn your head away, to hide how much the attention affected you. “You don’t have to- I can dry myself.”
Cassie’s voice seemed close to your ear when she answered. “I’m not doing it because I have to.”
Your breath caught. She finished drying your hair, then moved the towel down your neck, over your collarbone. You felt every point of contact, every small pressure. “Cassie,” you said, and your own voice sounded wrong.
She placed the towel aside on the nearby kitchen counter before asking you, “Look at me.” So you did. “The other night-” she began.
“It’s fine, Cassie.”
“It’s not fine,” she says roughly. “I was- it wasn’t right, what I said. And just leaving you like that. I- It was me being an asshole.”
You look at her. “Yeah,” you say. She huffs. “I mean, I know that already. I worked it out from the beginning.”
Her lip twitches. Any other time, she would snarl at you to lose the attitude, probably fuck you into a happier mood. Maybe that’s why you keep prodding. Maybe you kind of wish she would.
“You want a drink?” She counters instead. You look at her in shock a little bit. Not really. But what can you say? You don’t want to leave right now, and this seems like your only way to stay. She grabs two glasses and pours the two of you some water.
You’re still shivering. Cassie reached out and touched your cheek with the back of her fingers. “I hate seeing you like this,” she admitted. You swallowed, heart thudding too hard. Your mouth opened, but nothing came out at first. “You’re cold. So we’re fixing that first.”
She moved you, guiding you toward the couch area in her living room. The lights were dimmed. Cassie reached out for a blanket and draped it over your legs. Then she grabbed another towel, and she turned on the heater nearby.
You sat there, wrapped, shivering less, watching her. “If this is an apology,” you say, slowly, “It’s kind of terrible.”
She pauses, drink halfway to her lips. “Jesus,” she mutters, voice muffled in the glass. “You’re a pain in the ass sometimes.” You grab your own drink, taking a sip. You ignore the way your fingers tremble on the glass. “I’m sorry,” she says after a beat.
Your brow lifts. You look at her in a sort of ‘keep going’.
“I shouldn’t have-” she cuts herself off with a sigh. She looks physically pained, and you wonder what it is that’s killing her; if it’s the apology itself, or what she’s trying to apologize for. “I shouldn’t have said it. Any of it. It wasn’t fair to you. And I was…I don’t know. Scared, maybe.”
“Scared?” You almost laugh. “Of what? Me?”
Her jaw jumps. “No, not of you. Of this going on between us.”
Your face heats. “There is no this, though, Cassie. You made sure of that; you made that perfectly clear.” She’s silent, so you press her. “That’s what you wanted,” you say. “That’s…Cassie, that’s what you wanted.” “Of course it’s not what I wanted, baby,” she says. “You-”
“Then why-”
“Because it’s too much,” she sets her glass down on the coffee, and her fingers rub at the pinnacle of her nose, between her eyes. Her eyes flash. “It’s too much, baby. It’s too much. You’re…you’re dangerous.”
“I’m dangerous?”
“You don’t get it,” she says. “You don’t see what you do sometimes. It wasn’t just nothing to me.”
You’re silent now. You can hear your heart beating between your ears. “It wasn’t nothing to me either.” You mumble. “It was never nothing.”
“No?” She now challenges. “You moved on pretty quickly.”
You set the glass down opposite hers. When you straighten, your breath comes out faster, harder. “Fuck off,” you say softly. “You have no right.”
She’s silent.
“Amy is good for me,” you say. You’re not sure who you’re convincing. “She’s good to me. She’s…nice.”
“She’s nice, hm?” Cassie repeats. The word sounds empty when she says it. It sounds like nothing. “And is that what you wanted?” Her voice is low, and you don’t remember when she got this close. “Nice?”
Your stomach tugs. Your face flushes. The flame on your cheeks spills to your neck. But you stand your ground. “Yes,” you grit out.
Cassie makes a quiet sound. “Did she fuck you nice too?”
“Cass,” you warn. But there’s no bite. Your resolve is slipping faster than you can snatch it back. And she knows it. She knows it because she knows you.
“Show me,” she says.
You swallow. She’s so close you can taste her: her breath on your lips and her scent in your nose. “Show you…what?”
“Show me how she fucked you,” she says.
“I don’t-” Your heat clears its way up your throat. Your pulse is drumming at your wrist, stuttering under her stare. Something is making you bolder than you feel.
Fuck you, Cassie McKay, you think. And you want to. You really, really want to. It’s the only thing you could think about these past few days. So you show her. Even though what she’s asking is wrong, twisted, and fucked. You tilt into her, the rest of the way, and press your lips to hers.
You feel as her tongue flicks out to meet yours, slipping hot inside your mouth. Sparks settle in your core. Your fingers tangle in her hair. You tug, pulling her head back, breaking the kiss. Your breath mingles with hers. You reach for her hand. It’s bigger than Amy’s. Rougher. Your fingers wrap around hers, and you lean her palm to your thigh.
“Like this,” you say, softly. “We started like this.”
She doesn’t move right away. She lets the heat from her palm seep under your jeans and settle into your skin. Testing you: testing how long you’ll wait for her. When you can’t take it anymore, you guide her higher. You urge her hand between your thighs and her thumb rolls a circle over your clothed clit. You make a small, desperate noise which makes her pause with her fingers pressed to your core.
“Did you make those sounds for her?” She breathes.
Your face burns. She rubs you slowly, deliberately, and you begin to rut into her palm. Your sleep pants dig into your cunt when you arch your hips, and the pressure is unbearable. You’re so tightly wound you’re surprised you don’t snap.
When you don’t answer her, she stops abruptly. Completely. Her fingers threaten to drag away before you’re pleading. “No,” you gasp. “No. I would never- I could never make those noises for her. Only you. Please.”
“Please what?” She mutters.
“Touch me,” you plead.
“I am touching you, sweet girl.” She says. “I’m touching you just like she did. Since you liked it so much. Since you wanted her so bad.”
“I didn’t,” you mumble. “I don’t, I wasn’t…Cassie, I wa-”
You’re not even sure what you’re saying. You can barely hear yourself think over the roar in your ears. She’s moving slowly, so slowly that all bets are off. You’re honestly ready to beg her, please, if it means she’ll stop teasing you and just pull your fucking pants down.
But she’s not finished. You have a feeling she’s just getting started when she pulls her hand back, picks her drink up from the coffee table, and takes a long, quiet sip while you sink into her sofa. You hear her glass clink when she sets it back down. She stands then, turning to look at you as she says,
“Take them off.”
You don’t ask her to elaborate. You know what she wants, and she sets her gaze on yours as you lose your pants and your underwear and kick them to the floor.
“Did you leave your shirt on?” She asks, head tilted. “For her?”
“No,” you say softly.
“Then take it off.”
So you do. Bra as well. They both join the pile on the floor, and you settle back into the sofa, shy as all hell.
You don’t know why you’re shy, because you’ve been naked in front of Cassie a million times. More than that, really. But it’s the first time you’ve really been naked in front of her. You’re not self-conscious, usually, and it’s probably even more silly to be self-conscious now, in front of her, after you’ve fucked another woman. But you just can’t help it. There’s something about her stare as her eyes roam all over you.
Amy was so complimentary, so nice. She paused at every moment to tell you how beautiful you looked, how gorgeous; she would ask if you were okay; it was really sweet. She was really sweet.
Cassie, though. Cassie doesn’t say anything at all. She just looks at you the way no one’s looked at you before. She looks at you like you’re the only person she’s ever bothered to see. Her stare rakes over you, over your body, and when she speaks, her voice is hoarse.
“Tell me,” she says quietly. “Tell me what else.”
“Cassie,” you mumble. “We don’t have to- I mean-”
“Tell me,” She insists.
You hesitate. “She-” you swallow. Your throat feels tight. “I was on my back,” you say, cheeks blazing. “And she used…she used her fingers.”
You watch Cassie’s eyes go dark. Blue to black. “Get on your back,” she demands quietly.
You catch her eye and your pulse skips. You scoot back, lying down on her couch, with your back flat on the cushions and your neck propped on a pillow. You can feel how wet you are, rubbing your legs together to seek some sort of friction, but she’s quick to work her hands up your thighs, prying them apart, and you gasp as her fingers brush the arousal there and she hums.
“I know this is all for me, but I’d still like to ask.” She breathes.
Your breath hitches. You lift your hips off the cushions, chasing her hand. She slowly slides a finger over your folds, gathering some of the slick, and presses the pad of her finger to your entrance. You can only squirm in response.
“You,” you whine, pushing your hips up, trying in vain to pull her deeper. “All for you, of course it is, Cass.” You hear her make a noise in agreement.
She slips one finger inside before asking outright. “One finger?” she asks, fucking into you with a crooked index finger. Her thumb rolls lazy circles over your clit. It was enough to make you want more, need more, chase more, but it wasn’t nearly enough to make you cum. “Or did she use two?”
“Two,” you mumble. “She used two.” That’s a slight lie. While Amy was good at what she did, she was scared to make a mistake, even though she had a lot more experience than you. So she had used only one finger, even when you pressed for two.
“Are you sure it was two?” She taunts you. But you don’t have enough time to answer as she slips another finger inside you, stretching you just right, bracing on her free hand as she leans forward and begins to fuck you deeper. “Did she do it like this?”
You just moan, and it’s not even words. It’s something completely unintelligible. So she demands more.
“Words, sweetheart. Use your words for me.”
“She was….fuck, she was softer. M-more gentle.”
“Oh, was she now?” She hooks her fingers, and you cry out. “And is that what you wanted, honey? You wanted gentle?”
She slows down. Her movements soften, and you rut your hips in frustration. “No,” you yelp. “No.”
“No,” she agrees. She crooks her fingers again, and you come dangerously close to falling apart in her hands. The heel of her palm bumps your clit, and the contact makes you see stars. “Of course you don’t.”
Your head rolls against the pillow. Your vision swims because of her taunting words and when her wrist pumps faster. You can feel the fabric of her long-sleeve graze your thighs while she works you with her fingers- and it strikes you she’s still dressed. Like completely dressed. Not with just her shirt on and underwear, or maybe her pants are hanging low on her hips.
She’s completely, fully dressed. She’s got on some sort of sweatshirt whose sleeves have been pushed up to her elbows, and some old sweatpants. She has her slippers still on, planted on the carpet. She’s dressed like she’s ready for bed and you’re naked, totally naked, sprawled out on her sofa with your fingers inside you.
You want to tell her to take some clothes off: to even the playing field, a little, but you can’t think that far ahead. Not when your muscles clamp down around her knuckles and your breath is stolen from your throat with each move of her fingers. You try to tell her, desperately, that you’re-
“I-I’m gonna cum,” you whine. “Please-”
“Did she make you cum?” She asks, roughly, fingers still pumping into you.
You try to give her an answer; you try to focus. Your head swims, however, with trying to come up with a reply. “Cass-”
“Come on, baby, I know you can give me an answer. Did she make you cum like this?”
You can’t even lie this time. There’s no energy left inside you. “No,” you whine. “No, she didn’t.”
“Fuck, sweetheart,” she murmurs. It sounds almost…sympathetic. “I thought you said she was nice, honey.”
You feel her drag her hand away, right before you can even get your fill, and the message i clear. You didn’t cum then, and so you’re not going to cum now. You know what she’s doing. She’s going to play this game, give you the runaround, until you break and eventually beg her to fuck you the way she knows you really want to be fucked. Funnily enough, the only way Cassie can.
But you’re anything if not stubborn, and you’re pretty sure you’re still supposed to be angry with her. So you decide within yourself to hold out a little longer. Even when you writhe against the cushions, you whimper at the loss and begin to plead with her to touch you again.
“Focus,” she tells you. Her voice is dark. “What else she do, honey?”
“Her,” you breathe hard, trying to focus on getting the words out by looking up at the ceiling. You can’t even dare to spare a glance at her because you know your mind will turn to mush. “Her- fuck. Her mouth…”
She pauses. You can feel her pause, so you go against your better judgment and lower your head. You tip your head forward, off of the pillow, trying to get a read when she doesn’t respond right away. Her hands flex. She looks… more than jealous and mad. She looks absolutely pissed off.
“You let her…” Her eyes flicker down between your legs. “You let her taste you?” she says almost in disbelief.
You look at her. You’re panting. It’s short, shallow breaths as you nod. “Yes.” You really want to taunt her back, so you find yourself licking your lips as you say, “And she was good with her mouth, too.”
“Fuck you,” she swears. Her jaw tightens. She rolls her shoulders back, as if bracing for something. She now looks big and broad and ticked the fuck off. You know she had been working out for some time now, but it didn’t really register how big she was getting until now. Until she’s standing above you and looks like she could sling you easily over her shoulder if prompted enough.
Jesus Christ. You feel yourself getting wetter by the second at the thought of her pinning you down, because she definitely can, and making you cum for her over and over and over again. She sheds her sweater, and you can see the more prominent muscles of hers. Her shoulders are slightly more squared, she’s got noticeable biceps, and you can feel your mouth watering at the sight.
She pushes the sleeves of her long-sleeve shirt up to her forearms and sinks to her knees, facing the sofa. She grabs your calves with her hands and moves you like a rag doll, like you weigh nothing, shifting you around until your back is flat and your legs hang off the couch.
You let out a little oomph when your head slips off the pillow. She shuffles closer to the edge of the sofa, lifting your calves over her shoulders in a swift, easy motion, and drags her head down to your cunt.
You feel her breath hot and heavy against your core. You squirm, trying to grab at her hair, but she’s too far away. “I’m better, and you know that.” Her voice goes straight to your cunt. Your legs strain, digging into her muscular shoulders. “Isn’t that right, baby? Did she make you cum in her mouth?”
“Yes,” you whine, defiantly. Your hips rise and then fall, chasing her lips, and you can feel your resolve waning. “Yes, she did. And it was so good. So fucking good.” Your head spins.
“It was, was it?” Her teeth close around some of your skin on your stomach. She applies gentle, gentle pressure, enough to make you cry out a little bit. And then her tongue is sliding into you, hot and wet, curving inside you with a wicked hum.
“Oh, fuck,” you mumble. “Fuck, Cassie!”
She slides her tongue out of you. Just long enough to ask you, in a whisper. “When you said you needed to see me, is this why, hm? Is this why you ran all the way here?”
You moan weakly. You nod, or try to anyway. “You’re a dirty fucking girl. And were you thinking about me when you came in some other woman’s mouth, too? Did you think about my fingers?”
“Yes,” you whimper. You’re beyond caring, now. “Yes, yes, I did. I’m sorry.” You can’t think about anything that doesn’t start or end with anyone but Cassie.
“I think you’re lying.” She tells you, spitting on your cunt before moving her tongue up and down. “I don’t think you came for her. At all. I think you played nice, faking it for her. Did you play nice, hm?” “Yes,” you pant again. “I-I faked it for her.”
“And what about now, honey? Are you gonna fake it for me?”
“No,” you have to gather enough breath to push the words out. “No, fuck no.”
“That’s what I thought,” she responds. She licks a stripe up your clit with the flat of her tongue. You let out a strangled cry and dig your nails into her sofa. “I’m sorry, too, honey.”
At first, you think she’s apologizing for acting the way she did at Robby’s party. Maybe she feels remorse for leaving you in that bathroom with a kiss to your forehead as the parting gift. But instead, she follows it up with:
“I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to wait,” and she pulls away.
“Fuck,” you sob. “Come on, Cass, please?”
“I can’t, sweet girl,” she murmurs. “You wanted to fuck her so bad, so I’ll fuck you the same. You lied to me and said you came for her. That’s an extra strike.”
“But that…” You’re so frustrated you almost make a growl like a furious dog as you try to find the right words. “That was different, Cassie, I swear.” You would kill her if you had the energy and could string more than a few words together. “She wasn’t… fuck, she wasn’t you, Cass.” You writhe against her mouth.
She makes a quiet, hungry sound. Her tongue slips back inside you, and you grip at her hands. She intertwines your fingers with hers, and you rock your hips against her more forcefully. She just takes it, letting you be loud as you call her name, over and over and over, when she fucks you with her tongue but still doesn’t let you cum. But she doesn’t shut you up this time; she doesn’t use one of her hands to clamp down over your mouth; she doesn’t shove your panties into your mouth. She just listens to you whine her name. And when she drags her mouth away from your cunt, she murmurs yours against you.
She soon stands and pulls you up. You’re not sure where you’re going. You don’t really care. Her hands go to your waist and help you to whatever room she’s directing the two of you towards. You hear her soft footsteps on the hardwood, and you feel her hands when they squeeze you closer.
You stop in front of her bedroom door, and it creaks open and shuts once you’re inside. Cool air hits your skin; it smells different in here, like lilacs. Like she lit some candles before you showed up. She sets you down on her bed; striped sheets crumple where you land.
Everything smells like her.
She doesn’t join you on the bed right away. She gets undressed first. You listen and watch as she takes off her shirt first, and then her bra. Then her sweatpants and underwear. “Did she use a strap?” Cassie asks and you nod. She reaches into her closet and rummages around for something before she’s pulling out a box.
You can only keep your eyes on hers as she opens the cover and begins to pull on the straps of something. It’s obviously her strap, and she settles everything on her hips, checking twice to make sure things are in place, before she’s climbing on top of you, caging you into soft sheets, and your hands come up to skim her arms.
“How?” She breathes.
“Cass,” you mumble. You don’t want to think about Amy anymore. Doctor Lorenz. You don’t want to think about anyone else besides Cassie, the woman above you whose chain is currently dangling in front of your face. You want Cassie. Just Cassie. “Cassie,” you whine again. “Please.”
“How?” She echoes. Your head tips against the pillows. Your cunt throbs, aching, begging for her.
“She was on top,” you tell her. “We were…I mean we were like this.”
“Okay.” She nods, slowly. “Good girl for listening.” She mumbles before nudging her hips forward. The head of the silicone cock rubs against your entrance, and you whimper, arching back against white sheets.
“Thank you.” You respond to her earlier comment.
“Was it like this?” She murmurs. She snakes a hand between you both. Fists the base of the cock in her palm and guides it through your slick.
“Shit,” you gasp. “Yes like this.”
“Did she talk to you? Tell me she at least talked to you.”
“Yes,” you plead. “But not like this.”
“Not like what, sweetheart?” She begins to move agonizingly slow, rubbing the head of her cock against your clit. Your fingers fumble for purchase in the sheets.
“Not like how you talk to me,” you say, breath tangled.
“That’s such a shame, baby.” She murmurs.
“Please,” you beg her. “Talk to- talk to me, please?”
“I can’t, sweet girl.” She sounds sympathetic. Almost. If she wasn’t being so goddamn mean. She drags her cock back over your slit, coaxing her name from your lips. She finally pushes inside you, and you’re so overstimulated, and after being denied about three orgasms already, just the tip of her cock makes you shiver. Your whole body tenses, seizing up under her when she bottoms out inside you.
Your hands find her shoulders. Your nails dig in there, scratching at her skin, drawing tiny lines of blood when she pulls out of you and thrusts back.
“It’s too bad, too.” She’s muttering. Her mouth hangs by your neck, close enough to kiss you, touch you- but never quite dropping that extra, desperate inch. You feel like you need something else to grab onto, to hold against you. You grab her gold chain with your teeth, biting down on the metal as she babbles. “Because I’d tell you how good you’re being, how much of a good girl you are. I’d tell you how pretty you look taking me.”
You moan. Your hips rock, chasing her cock when she grinds down into you. She drags herself out, dripping onto white sheets, and you gasp at how empty you feel. “Is that what you wanted her to say, hm?”
“Yes,” you whisper. You scratch down her shoulders, trying to pull her back.
She’s stronger than you, though, so she doesn’t budge. Eventually, you have to give up because you’re exerting more energy than you have. You fall back against the pillows with your hands going slack at her shoulders.
It’s only then that she picks back up. She lines her hips with yours and thrusts back into you with a tight, shallow groan. She hits that spongy spot inside you, and you whine into her chest.
“Oh my god,” you mumble. “You-you feel so good.” Heat licks at your core; it spills to your skin and sets you on fire. You’ve lost track of how many orgasms she’s denied you. But the collective build-up is threatening to take you out. “F-faster,” you tell her, urgently. Your fingers dig into her back, spurring her on, clinging to her when she snaps her hips and makes you yelp.
She obliges, muttering against your neck, pounding into you. The slap of skin on skin punches in between your breaths. Your eyes roll. Your vision fogs. “Cass,” you mumble.
“Tell me-” she pleads, hips flexing. “Tell me she made you cum like this, honey.”
“Cassie,” you echo.
“C’mon sweet girl, tell me,” she grits.
“No,” you cry. “No, she didn’t.
“Jesus, baby,” she groans. “You’re breaking my heart, honey.” And then she pulls out, and doesn’t let you cum.
“Cassie, please!” You writhe underneath her. You scratch at her back, her sides, her arms. You leave desperate marks on her skin. “I just want you.” You sob; tears sting your eyes. “Please. I want- fuck, Cassie- I want you.”
Her gaze softens. A sad sort of smile tugs at her lips. She bends to kiss you, soft and slow and not at all like the Cassie you’re used to. You mumble against his mouth, and her tongue dips in to taste you. You lift a shaking hand to trace her jaw. Your finger trembles at the edge of her mouth, holding her lips to you. You keep it there when she breaks the kiss.
“I’m sorry,” she breathes. Her eyes are lighter. They look blue once again. “For everything. I’m sorry.”
Your breath snags. You stare up at her, lips grazing hers, and your heart tugs. “I had to show you; now you show me,” you say softly. “Please, Cassie.”
She nods, dipping her head down to kiss your neck before getting onto her knees on the bed. She unhitches the straps on her hips before casting the whole thing aside. She moves the two of you until your cunt is moving against the top of her thigh, and her cunt is against your thigh.
It makes the two of you look at each other, her entire body relaxing against yours. She blinks at you, her hands skating up your ribcage. You blush. You’re nervous, for some reason. It’s intimate. More intimate than your mouth on her or your palms pressed to Robby’s sink counter, your cheek flat on the mirror.
This is something else. It makes your pulse hitch. “We…um, we didn’t…” You stumble, “this isn’t how we did it.”
Her gaze softens, and her hand moves higher, over your breast and your collar, snaking under your hair to the back of your neck. She pushes there, gently, pressing your chest to hers. “It’s okay. That’s what I want.”
You melt into her. Her hands skate up your back, holding you close.
“I need you,” you say, breathless. “Cassie, please. I want you.”
“Okay,” she murmurs. Her hands slide down to your ass. She lifts your hips and lines you with her thigh. “Okay, sweetheart. I need you too.” She guides your hips down, onto her, and you bury your face in her neck. You hear her stilted groan when you begin to move, as does she. “Fuck,” she mutters.
“Don’t do that again,” you tell her, fingers digging into her forearms as you use the leverage to move faster against her and, in turn, give her more pleasure. “Don’t leave me like that again.”
You grind your hips down, and it has you rutting your leg up against her cunt, which makes her hiss. “Fuck,” she pants. “I won’t, honey, I promise. I won’t.” She reaches her head up, and you kiss her, as the heat in your core starts to swirl again. Cassie nips at your lower lip and your breath stumbles, hips stuttering on her thigh.
You move your hands down to grasp at her ass, making her move faster on you. You do the same, and one of your hands leaves to play with her clit, adding to her already building stimulation. She matches your pace, and your eyes roll. “God, Cass-”
“You’re gonna make me cum. I’m gonna cum.” She whines. Her arms are wrapped around your back, holding you steady. Your other thigh closes in against hers, making sure she stays on top of you like this.
“Shhhh, it’s okay,” you tell her. “It’s okay. I got you.”
You take over for her, moving and hitting your leg against her clit. You listen as she rests her head in the crook of your neck, whimpering into your skin when she rolls her hips up into you, over and over, again and again, clutching you to her body and making sure you’re getting equal pleasure.
“I- shit- you make me feel so good, baby.”
Your hand comes up to wrap around the back of her neck, clasping her to you as she picks up the pace of her own movements. “Easy, Cass. You’re going to tire yourself out.”
“Fuck, I don’t care,” she mumbles. “I just want to hear you cum.”
“Come for me first,” you murmur. “It’s okay. I got you.”
“It’s not fair,” She whispers. “It wouldn’t be- fuck- it wouldn’t be fair.” She’s shaking her head. “Just come for me, please just come for me.”
So you cum for her. You cum so hard your vision pulls blank. You stop moving on her thigh; your hips jerk as white-hot heat runs rapidly through your body. She nips at your neck, your throat, your jaw, and then her mouth finds yours and she’s kissing the hell out of you.
“Cass,” you have enough air to gasp when her thrusts against your leg falter, and she breaks the kiss so you can speak. “Please.” You don’t know what you’re asking for. Her chain is still cold against your skin.
Her head tips, and you feel her hips also stutter. Her stomach tightens against yours. She’s close. You loosen your legs before she brings them right back, hips jerking. She thrusts once, twice, and then she’s spilling all over you with a rough, brambled groan. Her head soon rolls forward and thuds against your shoulder bone. Her body twitches.
Your mind is going a thousand miles an hour, and simultaneously, nowhere at all. Your shaking hand reaches up and smooths over some of her hair, soothing the two of you as you try to catch your breath. One of her hands moves out from underneath you and begins to skate up and down your arm. At least you know she’s alive.
“I don’t want you to leave. Stay here. With me.” She begs you, and you have to let out a laugh. “Please.”
“That was the plan.” Your lips whisper the words against her temple. She nods before picking her head up and brushing a stray hair back from your face. Her thumb traces the hollow of your cheek.
“I’ve missed you.” She responds and bends her head back down to kiss you again.
a/n: guys, I flirted with a girl the other night, and I don't think she noticed....I grabbed her hand and everything...and then she invited me to her house 🤭
I neeeeeeedddddd Cassie with a mommy kink for reader asap 🙏🙏🙏
-despite doing it all day long at work, cassie lovessss taking care of you when she gets home, making sure you’ve eaten and drinken, rubbing your back, running you a bath, etc
-cassie loves your age gap, seeing the looks on your coworkers’ faces when they find out, watching the gears turn in peoples’ heads in public trying to work out what you two are, then watching cassie slide her hand all the way up under your skirt
-cassie loves when she fucks you senseless, the only thing you’re able to get out is “mommy..mommy…mommy please” knowing you’re all hers, you need her :(
-baiting cass into punishing you by teasing her all day with sickly sweet “yes, mommy”s and “whatever you want, mommy”s in public, watching her glare at you because she can’t reprimand you how she wants while you’re in public, you’re barely one foot in the door at home when she’s grabbing you by the back of the neck & asking who you think you are
-cassie silently reprimanding you at work when you step out of line; stern glares and silent head cocking to convey her disapproval of your behavior
-cassie forcing you to always use your manners with her; please & thank you, look at her when she’s speaking to you, etc etc. grabbing your jaw in missionary and forcing you to look at her, “you’re gonna look at me when i’m fucking you” 😵💫
-cassie fucking you in doggy and you won’t hold still, pinning your wrists behind your back so she can have you exactly where she wants you :(
-you’ve been pawing at her all day while she’s been busy and she finally gets time in the evening to make you fuck yourself on her thigh, “since you’re just soooo desperate you can do it yourself, bunny”
cassie would lowk be into age gap, like reader mentioning a band they like and cassie saying something along the lines of “i remember seeing them before you were born” 😵💫
cassie would make that comment and reader would stare back at her with puppy dog eyes <3 reader’s slight internal panic wondering how to respond with words rather than just a dropped jaw and ‘fuck me’ eyes. cassie uses it to tease reader because she secretly loves reminding you of how taboo it really is :((
-warnings: f!reader, smut, dirty talk, fingering, praise, etc etc i’m bad at tagging </3
-word count: ~3k
-a/n: hi!! sorry for brief writing hiatus life is fucking crazy :( also yes i know, very unique title whatever whatever. this is in response to a couple different teacher/student reqs i got! reader is legal age & in college :) enjoy!
———————————————————————————————
As you entered the sparsely-populated lecture hall, you cursed yourself under your breath for forgetting your cardigan again today. After about a month of class, you’d come to figure out which seats got hit by the draft from the window, which was nearly all of them, thanks to the decades-old building that your major was housed in, and you settled into your unofficially -claimed front row seat. The foldout desk was wobbly and had quite a few inscriptions carved into the wood, but the seat gave you the ideal position to ask questions easily when needed and forced you to stay focused on the lecture in front of you.
Dr. Cassie Mckay taught Psychology of Antisocial Behavior every Tuesday and Thursday from 2:30 to 3:50pm, and you happened to book a slot in her class at the last minute as registration closed. It fit with your schedule, and was technically a required course, but it was one you had been avoiding due to it being particularly writing intensive. You weren’t a bad writer by any means, just an uninspired one when it came to academic papers, and you couldn’t afford to tank your GPA right now with scholarship eligibility verification coming up at the end of the term.
As Dr. Mckay walked through the door, you pulled out your laptop and got settled in, ready to transcribe notes. She had been covering common personality disorders, and you had a hard time keeping each of them straight in your head with how many shared similar traits and comorbidities. Glancing up from your screen, you notice Dr. Mckay at her desk, passing the time before class officially started, and you take note of her finely-tailored outfit, complete with an intricate updo, her auburn locks twisted back to frame her face. You realized you were staring a moment too late, her striking eyes locking on yours with a quizzical quality. An involuntary flush covered your cheeks as you quickly directed your focus back on your laptop, and you were grateful to hear the door slam shut, marking the 2:30pm starting time.
It wasn’t that you had a crush on your professor, but Dr. Mckay had a particularly alluring quality about her that you struggled to ignore. She spoke so eloquently and intelligently, never needing a slideshow to compensate during her lectures, and you appreciated that in a professor. She kept you engaged, hanging on her every word, and you found yourself reading up on material before class so that you’d be able to quickly and correctly answer the questions she posed throughout her lectures. Her brief praise that followed your precise answers was nothing more than that–brief praise; but it was enough to keep you reading your textbook until the early hours of the night to hear her say it all over again.
You even started attending her office hours, playing dumb and asking her to reexplain concepts you had mastered two chapters ago just to spend more time in her presence. The two of you became friendly, enough for her to remember your name and say hi in passing in the hallway, but it never passed through the threshold of anything more. In fact, after a couple weeks, Cassie seemed to pull back, reducing interactions to a brisk exchange of words, directing you instead to outside resources for your questions and limiting her responses to your correct answers to a polite nod and moving on. You weren’t sure what exactly changed, or what you had done to spur this change, but it frustrated you. You fell behind a bit in lieu of this, defaulting to quickly skimming your textbook at your desk before class; a detail Cassie had certainly noticed and held onto. It seemed as though she took to calling on you unannounced more as she noticed you falling behind, putting you on the spot in front of the class and cruelly leaving you squabbling out a half-correct strung together answer. One day, after a particularly painfully bullshit answer, Cassie stops you on your way out of class, suggesting that you start reading the chapters before class in a chiding tone. You give her a silent nod, barely making eye contact, and continue your shameful walk to your next class.
You didn't know why she was treating you so harshly, much more than any other student, and sat boggled at the juxtaposition between her treatment now and how receptive she was just a few weeks earlier. Maybe you had annoyed her with your feigned neediness for her retellings of lectures, or maybe it had nothing to do with you, but you studied her interactions with other students, which remained as neutral as they had all year. You were perturbed, rightfully so, and wondered if she had somehow read your mind and discovered your bashful crush on her. It was crazy, and you brushed it off as so, but the rejection still stung.
What you didn’t know was that Cassie didn’t want to be mean to you at all, actually, and was scrambling to get ahead of the ever-growing crush that she was forming. She tried to cut your interactions short to limit the chances of any inappropriate compliments slipping out, turning to brevity and sternness to curb this. Cassie prided herself on her professionalism and didn’t want her infatuation with you to boil over and ruin her position at the university. It was a crush teetering on the edge of disaster, and she could barely contain herself in the quiet moments of class; during exams or written quizzes when she supervised her silent pupils and had ample time to stare at your features and drift into daydreams about fucking you over her desk, hand over your mouth to keep you quiet as her coworkers conducted classes in the surrounding lecture halls.
She had quite a few ideas for you, actually, all of which ended with her inside you, behind you, on top of you, or under you — Cassie wasn’t picky. She’d go home after lectures and bury her fingers inside herself thinking of you, how prettily you pouted at her after answering a question wrong or how your shirt slipped down when you bent over to pick up a pen off the ground, giving her a perfect view of the lacy bra under your shirt. It was enough to drive someone insane.
The weekend after midterms, your roommate dragged you along to a house party to celebrate being done with exams, which you reluctantly agreed to. Upon arrival, you down one too many shots and end up in the corner ranting to a girl you just met, who was equally as drunk and invested in your drama. You went on and on about Cassie, how good it felt when she would praise you, how dreamy-eyed she made you, and how frustrated you were by her cold shoulder. The girl listened and commented along, offering uninhibited advice when you got to the part about how coldly Dr. Mckay had been treating you.
“Why don’t you fuck with her a little bit? Nothing crazy, but enough to get under her skin. Just tease her to her face innocently enough that you can play it off if she gets upset. It’s only fair,” she suggested.
It was bolder than you were usually comfortable with, but the drinks went a long way in amplifying your confidence and you figured you didn’t have much to lose. If things went awry, you’d be out of her class in 8 weeks anyways. You could handle that.
So you did. You started small, dressing up a little more for class that following Tuesday. Your skirt was passable enough to be worn in public, albeit cautiously with tights underneath, but you knew how to play with Cassie. When class started, she greeted everyone and did her obligatory glance across the class, surveying attendance. Her eyes landed on you and you watched as she pressed her lips together and cocked her eyebrow a nearly imperceptible amount.
You kept your eyes on Cassie, not the projector screen or your notes, the whole lecture. You caught her line of sight occasionally, holding your piercing eye contact until she’d break it and continue scanning the sea of faces in front of her. When you caught her eyes again, you quietly uncrossed your legs, spreading them ever so slightly, and recrossed them on the opposite side as the hem of your skirt rose further up your thighs. You swore you heard her stutter briefly and watched the muscles in her jaw clench as she feigned ignorance of what she was seeing in front of her.
You held that same position until class wrapped up a few minutes later and took your time gathering your things as your peers filtered out of the classroom. Rummaging through your bag, you pulled out the paper your advisor had given you, needing a signature of approval from Dr. Mckay to indicate that you had fulfilled your elective requirement and could opt out of taking the final exam. It wasn’t anything immediately necessary, but you took it as an opportunity to speak to Cassie one-on-one anyways. Rising from your seat, not bothering to adjust your skirt down, you strode over to Cassie’s desk while she was busy flipping through papers, lost in thought.
“Hi, could you sign this for me please? It’s for my advisor,” you asked in your sweetest voice, holding out the paper for her. Cassie looked up, ever so slightly caught off guard by you, and gave you a short but polite smile and nodded.
“Sure,” she said, looking around her desk, presumably for a writing utensil. Your eyes dropped to her slender hands sliding across the length of her desk in search of a pen amongst the clutter, and instinctively you turned to look for one with her, spotting one sitting towards the edge of table that stood adjacent to her desk.
“Oh, here’s one,” you remarked, still turned away from her. Cassie looked up at you as you reached across the table, bent at the waist. The pen sat just barely out of reach, and it would have been much easier to simply walk around the table, but that wasn’t what you were here for. You reached even further, your skirt riding so far up that the lace garter of your tights peeked out from beneath. Cassie hissed out a “jesus christ” under her breath, yet couldn’t seem to look away from the scene in front of her. You knew Cassie had a full view of you from her position in her chair, but you turned around feigning innocence and smiling sweetly, handing her the pen as if she hadn't just seen parts of you that had been swimming around her imagination for weeks.
Cassie’s lips pressed together as she accepted the pen from you and dutifully signed the paper, avoiding eye contact as she handed it back over to you. You cooed out a “thank you!” and sauntered out of the classroom, extremely pleased with yourself for the reaction you had gotten out of her.
You continued your behavior throughout the next few classes, teasing Cassie from across the room and walking out at the end of class wordlessly like you had done nothing. It was driving her insane, but you were only privy to an inkling of the effect you were having on her.
After class, Cassie would hurriedly lock the door to her office, slipping a hand down into her waistband and rubbing circles around her swollen bud, cumming nearly instantly from all her pent up frustration throughout class. She was a mess over you, quickly unraveling, and unsure of how much longer she could restrain herself from taking what she so badly wanted.
Today was no different. You walked into class wearing another tiny skirt and a skin-tight tank top, the lace hem of your bra peeking up around the edges. You watched Cassie from your front row spot as usual, holding your pen but taking no notes whatsoever. When you knew she was watching, you clumsily drop your pen to the ground and take your time bending over to get it. While bent over, you look up and lock eyes with a very sternly-focused Cassie, smirking slightly at her. Sitting up, you return to normal posture and sit back in your seat with your elbow on the desk, loosely holding the pen and letting the tip of it graze along your collarbones as you continue to watch Dr. Mckay lecture on.
The lecture concluded and students filed out as normal, with you about to do the same, when you heard your name. Confused, you look towards the source and see Cassie basically glaring at you.
“Can you come here, please,” she chided, sending a shiver of fear through you. You had never seen Cassie look so grim, much less sound angry, and you knew something was wrong. You tentatively padded your way to her desk as the final few students trickled out.
“Shut the door, please,” she said sharply, which you silently obeyed, and returned to stand by her desk.
Cassie stood from her chair, eyes locked on you, your lips parting as you watched her move towards you.
“Did I do something?” you ask coyly, looking up at her through heavy eyes, still refusing to drop the act.
Cassie’s hand roughly snaked its way up the back of your neck, grabbing a fistful of hair and yanking your head back, completely at her mercy.
“You need to learn how to fucking behave,” she spat, her tone dark and laced with hunger.
Your jaw went slack, pupils blown, a soft moan escaping your throat.
“You’re such a fucking brat. You think I don’t know what you’ve been doing?” Cassie continued, hand still tightly gripping your hair. She yanked you towards her, her lips finding your ear, “You’re fucking pathetic, begging for my attention. What are we gonna do about that?”
Cassie walked you back until your hips hit the table behind you, her hand releasing its grip on your hair to drift down your jawline and rest loosely around your neck. She leans down, lips meeting yours in a hurried rush of passion, losing all restraint she had previously maintained. Her tongue twirls around yours as her hands roam your body, slipping under your shirt and dragging it up over your head. Her fingers quickly find the clip of your bra and unfastened it, leaving you completely bare in front of her.
Her tongue slides down your jaw, to your neck, then lower, occasionally nipping softly at your collarbones and the soft skin of your chest. She kissed her way all the way down your stomach before rising to her feet again, strong hands cupping your waist, and spun you around to pin you between her and table. One hand remained on your hips, roughly pressing you into the edge of the hard wood, while the other landed between your shoulder blades, commanding you down onto the table. You felt her push your skirt up over your hips and heard her let out a soft groan when she saw the black lacy panties you had on underneath.
“All this for me?” she purred, hand running up the back of your thigh, landing on the wet heat between your legs.
You nod softly, barely getting out an “mhhmm,” before Cassie pushed aside your panties and ran a finger through your wetness.
“So, so needy for me,” she breathed, slowly pushing in two fingers and curling them inside you. She continued, gradually picking up pace until you were a panting mess below her, barely able to string together coherent words.
“Mhnnfgod Cass, fuck,” you murmurred, eyes rolling back.
Cassie picks up speed, fisting your hair to give herself more leverage as she drives into you over and over again. All that escapes your mouth are broken whines and gasping breaths as she fucks you into the table and whispers cruel praise into your ear, lost in pleasure.
“Fuck Cass, oh my god, I cant,” you sob, being met with a laugh from behind you as her pace impossibly quickens and she tightens her grip in your hair.
“What? I thought this is what you wanted, baby?” she taunts, eliciting another string of half-broken profanities from you while you try to bite back a wail.
You feel yourself getting closer and closer, the table supporting your weight as your knees shake and buckle below. Cassie slips her hand out of your hair and down to your clit, rubbing delicate circles and pushing you over the edge. Shaking, you drench her hand and let out a hard, panting breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. Cassie continues thrusting into you, fucking you through your orgasm until she’s content with the babbling mess she’s made of you.
Regaining your posture, you turn around to face her, eyes still lust-blown and cheeks flushed, watching as she brings her hand to her mouth and licks your arousal off of her fingers. You stare, speechless, and Cassie looks back at you smugly, knowing you were already all hers.
“You look so pretty when you fall apart for me,” she croons, and your legs nearly buckle again.
“All for you, Cass,” you purr, still spent, and make a mental note to say thank you to the girl at the party. You owed her many, many drinks for encouraging you to this point, after all.
Cassie leans down, picking up your underwear that had been discarded at some point, which you were unaware of in all of your bliss, and you let out a half-hearted chuckle, but she doesn’t hand them back to you.
You look quizzically at her, head tilted, and you watch as she slips them into her pocket.
“A souvenir,” she says, smirking, and you blush under her gaze, swooning again.
“You’re gonna have a wet patch soak through if you aren't careful,” you jokingly motion to her pants pocket.
“Fine by me,” Cassie remarks, kissing off the last traces of you on her pointer finger and running a loving hand through your hair where she had ruffled it, before leaning in for another kiss.
synopsis : you and cassie know it’s wrong — not only the twenty year age gap, but the fact you’re both in relationships. what was supposed to be a casual affair, now turns into something with the stakes higher and problems more troubling.
wc : 10.3k | playlist.
tags : adult language. age gap (24 & 43). excessive mentions and acts of infidelity, unhealthy relationships / dynamics, reader has lots of guilt, aubrey and cassie nearly get into it. strong adult content; mat pressing, oral (r! receiving, c! receiving), f!ngering, overstim, it's done in the car lol, 50/50 of praise & degradation, strap usage + cassie thinking her strap is rlly attached to her.
author’s note : hi im sorry this is so late, life was really testing me !! anyways, here’s the final part <3 i also don’t condone cheating whatsoever
“we don’t have to do anything,” cassie breathed out in between kisses, and you pulled back for a moment to look at her. “we don’t, i promise.”
“i want to,” you pleaded. “please, cassie.”
cassie kissed you like she was starved, showing you had long she had been deprived of you, her tongue slipping into your mouth. she brushed off her button up top, leaving her exposed in her lace bra and jeans.
she hitched up the bottom half of your dress up to around your torso, keeping it there to have you exposed before her as she sneakily cupped your cunt, gently teasing it.
“fuck, you’re soaking,” she moaned, and you whined, mumbling an apology. “i love it, sweetheart. it’s okay, it’s all for me.”
"it'll always be for you," you whispered, nodding, and she gave your waist a chaste squeeze.
the risks and consequences played themselves in a sequence in the back of your head, but the pure pleasure and need for cassie kept you focused, kept you grinding on her lap.
"what do you need me to do, baby?" cassie asked, simply curious and worried about your own pleasure than her own, her voice almost edging with a plead. "i'll do anything you want, anything for my girl."
the kiss continued and went on, being sure your lipstick was faintly smeared around her own lips. you inched away only by a few, feeling her warm, panting breath hit against your face as you slightly pouted.
"do what you've been dreaming of," you stated, and there was a shift in cassie's eyes, the beautiful diamond blue of them shadowing into a deep marine blue. it should've scared you, made you want to crawl into your own skin, but instead, it drove you in more.
she was immediate to picking you up, having your legs wrap around her waist as your arms loosely hung around her neck.
the moment you got to her bedroom, she laid you down on her bed, kissing down from your exposed stomach, to your cunt, pressing gentle kisses onto it. you whimpered, pleading for more — for about anything — and she gave in, her mouth latching onto your sweet cunt, devouring you as her hands gripped at your hips, nails clawing into your skin.
you had never felt this ecstasy, this pure euphoric bliss that made your body feel as if it was on fire. you weren't denying how aubrey has made you feel good, but god, it was never like this.
aubrey was soft with you, like if you were easy to break; cassie wanted to break you, for her own satisfaction and to get an endless high out of you.
maybe you were deprived of sex and your libido had been decreased because you were about ready to cum all over cassie’s mouth, yet you decided to hold onto it a little longer.
“you’re doing s’fucking good, cassie,” you moaned, letting words and moans slip out in between each other as your hands found placement on her head, fingers curling into her dark hair.
she only hummed against your cunt, the vibrations rolling around it, and your back arched, eyes rolling back to the point that stars were sparkling in your vision.
she was eating you in pure desire and lust, not wasting a drop of your taste as her nails made an indent into your soft skin.
any ounce of guilt or shame you had felt, simply faded away in this moment; the way cassie physically yearned for you, even as her mouth was glued to your cunt and it seemingly was still not enough for her.
the heat in your abdomen only intensified, threatening to let go of itself entirely before you could even warn cassie.
“i need to— i need to cum, please,” you panted, and cassie hummed in response, giving your plush thighs a chaste squeeze as a signal that you could do so.
you began to ride your cunt against her mouth, practically forcing herself to stay latched to you as your body shivered and began to run out your climax, your back arching.
“fuck, cassie! cass, oh my god!” you cried, the orgasm deepening in your bones as tidal waves of pure bliss electrocuted you.
you hadn’t been pleased in what felt like a decade, and the older woman stayed in between your thighs as she gathered up every last drop and taste of you on her tongue.
she stayed down on you for about a few moments before leaning up, her mouth and chin glistening with your sweet juices.
her pupils were shot and dilated, like she just got a fresh taste of a new addiction. “are you okay, baby?” she breathlessly asked, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, and you nodded, humming.
she pulled herself forward to kiss you as she moaned against your mouth, and was grinding herself against your own crotch, earning a desperate whine out of you.
“not finished just yet, sweetheart,” she stated, kissing your forehead. “i’ll make sure this is all worth it, and i want to prove it to you.”
you wanted to ask what she meant, but the primal need for you was shining in her eyes, and you only nodded.
cassie momentarily got off of you, opening up the drawer to her nightstand as you tried to take a peek at what she was trying to grab, and she got up from off the bed, stripping off her clothes from her bottom half and her top.
you shyly looked away, deciding to sit up to take off your own dress and the second you got the slightest glimpse of a nude cassie, you saw a strap harness being tugged perfectly around her hips.
she turned back around to face you, and your eyes caught the sight of the thick silicone dick before looking back up at you.
“how do you want to do this, baby?” she wondered, squatting down to your level as you mindlessly stared at her, your brain shaking with numerous thoughts.
“i’ve— well, when i’ve had sex with aubrey,” you began, swallowing thickly. “i was never in control, and we never used a strap. i mean i’ve used a dildo before but—”
“but nothing like this?” cassie wondered, and you shook your head. “we don’t have to do this, honey.”
“i want it, i want you,” you rambled, pouting. “i was the one who did most of the giving, and it’s been so long.”
cassie gently grasped your jaw, softly sighing at the mere sight of you — glowing and delicate before her, begging to unravel and entirely claim you.
“i’ll make you feel s’good, sweet girl,” she kissed your lips, smiling against them. “you deserve every inch of me and of pleasure.”
she let go of your face, guiding you to lay back down on the bed, and propped your head up with an extra pillow. her hands grasped onto the back of your knees, hoisting your legs up to dangle over her shoulders as you could feel the thick silicone being brushed up against your cunt.
“are you sure about this, baby?” cassie wondered, a hint of worry and desperation knotted into her tone. “i don’t want you to regret anything.”
“this is the only thing i’ve ever been sure about in my life,” you stated, eyes glued to hers and gave her a reassuring smile. “deprave me, ruin me — i’m yours.”
the moment cassie pushed her cock into your cunt, slowly and carefully, there was a shared moan as her eyes were heavily fixated on the sight of you swallowing her in.
“you’re fucking perfect,” she mumbled under her breath, towering over you before her eyes flickered back in yours, and she gently thrusted. “been dreaming about this for months, baby. you have no idea.”
“i want you to go faster, please,” you begged, eyebrows drawing together in visible need. “i need you to, i can’t wait.”
cassie honored your wishes, groaning to herself as she fastened her pace, her eyes momentarily looking at your cunt coating her cock. “this is all my girl needed, huh?” she breathily asked, her eyes shifting back into yours. “just needed to be fucked nice and good, jesus fuck— i need you to cum on my cock.”
“i will, promise!” you whined, cassie placing a kiss to your leg. “s’fucking good, i can feel you in me.”
“i know, sweetheart, i know. it’s just too good and too much for you, isn’t it?” cassie mockingly cooed, frowning. “but you won’t let me down, you never do.”
there was pure lust that circulated throughout the bedroom, the sound of skin collision bouncing off the walls, and you were you’d woken up her neighbors from how loud you were being.
her hands had grabbed at your waist, the plush of your skin seeping in between her fingers as she lifted you up from your bottom, roughly and mindlessly pounding into your cunt.
you could feel yourself being ripped open around her cock, letting her use and unravel you all before her, and you could see stars playing in your vision. you felt like her personal fuck doll from the way she had you dangling, your lower half continuing to be held up by her as she persisted on eagerly fucking you.
you could cry purely from how good it felt, and how you hadn’t been pleasured this well or perfectly in forever.
“i think ‘m gonna cum,” you mumbled, simply cock drunk and your eyes were droopy yet still remained looking into hers. “please let me cum, please.”
“how much do you need it?” cassie wondered, a grin playing on her lips. “tell me how much you need it, and maybe i will let you cum.”
“please, please,” you cried, the high hitting against your stomach, and pleading to be free. “will let you cum in me, anything you want.”
cassie dropped your legs to the bed, instead bringing your knees up to your chest and forced you to hold them there, groaning and panting while the sounds of your sopping cunt squelched and further coated her strap.
“cum for me, sweetheart, c’mon,” she said, the colliding of her skin against yours being rough enough to leave minor bruises later on. “i’ll cum in your sweet cunt.”
you hummed, your body complying immediately and your high ran up and out of you, squirming around which only led to cassie’s hands holding your body down into the mattress.
“such a good girl — fuck i’m cumming in you — you’re soaking my cock,” cassie groaned, a tremble in the bass of her voice, and you could see stars and the room spinning in your vision. “s’fucking perfect for me, oh my god.”
she thrusted out yours and hers shared climax as your brain clouded with haze and pure euphoria, a dumb smile playing on your face. you were sure you looked like a fucked out idiot, cassie’s eye shimmering with affection for you.
“oh, you’re my girl,” she mumbled as she kissed your neck and collarbones. “are you okay, did i hurt you?”
you shook your head, frowning. “i know you’d never hurt me.”
cassie grinned, trying to control her breathing and carefully let herself out of you before taking off the entire harness. “let’s get you cleaned up,” she said, and you groaned. “you don’t have to walk, i’ll carry you, baby.”
you only hummed, letting your body entirely relax as she easily picked you up and you rested your head on your chest, able to hear her rapid heartbeat.
cassie gently sat you down on top of the toilet cover, hurrying to run a bath for the two of you. you were in constant daze, soreness beginning to ache your lower half, and you hadn't entirely registered what had happened, what you had just signed up for.
you were waiting for pure nauseous and shame to hit you all at once, and you'd start crying. yet, the second cassie turned around and came back up to you, asking you again if you were okay and checking for any signs of hurt, all of that vanished.
she carried you and settled you down into the warm bathtub, herself kneeling at the side of the bath as she got a loofah wet and lathered with a sage-citrus body wash.
"you won't join me?" you frowned, bringing you knees up to your chest.
"don't worry about me, baby. let me keep taking care of you," she said, almost as if she begging to, as if this was her only pure purpose to exist. "i'm just scared i won't be able to do this again."
would there be an again? would this happen one more time, and then that's when the guilt would hit you suddenly?
"i'm a horrible person for this, aren't i?" you asked, the loofah being washed over your back first. "this surely violates some rules at work, too."
cassie chuckled. "you're not horrible. if anything, i am."
you shot her a saddened look, shaking your head. "you could never be horrible, cass," you mumbled, not realizing tears were welling up in your eyes. "you are the only good, beautiful thing in this world."
she only smiled small, continuing to bathe you in silence and closed your eyes as she did so, letting yourself enjoy this one moment of peace and care.
you didn't text or call cassie after that night, not for a few days. you switched your schedule, where you worked on different days then her — whether that was the day or night shift.
anything just to avoid her.
to see her was to remember how you cheated, how you let yourself be vulnerable in front of her, and let her unravel all parts of you that desired her.
in the process of it all, you didn't make conversations with santos — even when she had a punching joke to make — or whitaker, who kept giving you this look of regret.
"what's going on with you?" robby asked the second you walked into the emergency department, not awake enough to even deal with him. "you've been off your game."
"personal stuff," you muttered, walking to the lockers as he trailed behind. "seriously, i'm good."
"well, samira and langdon are out for the day so," he began, exhaling heavily. "i called in mckay to help you out in triage."
you immediately looked at him, knowing he could tell your heart sunk to your stomach. "why her? i can handle triage by myself."
"you can't," he shrugged. "is there something i should know?"
"no, dr. robby," you sighed, shoving your bag into your locker, and slamming it shut.
the second you stepped out of lockers, cassie saw you and dead stopped in her tracks. her under eyes looked darkened and almost swollen, like she had been crying and hadn't been sleeping.
"hurry up, please," is all you managed to saw, going to grab a tablet to start looking at patients. you could feel her eyes on you with each step you made, and could hear a heavy sigh exhale from her as you rummaged with mere regret.
“why are you ignoring me?” cassie asked, forcing the tablet out of your hand, and you looked at her. “i knew not to come by in case of aubrey but, you could learn to send me a message.”
“i’ve been busy,” you mumbled, shrugging. “i wasn’t ignoring you.”
“you forgot how to turn off your read receipts,” she bluntly stated, and you groaned under your breath. “did i do something wrong? do you regret what happened?”
the night came fluttering back to your mind, the memory making a warm feeling bloom in your chest, and you inhaled sharply. you remembered how dilated cassie’s eyes had been from just tasting you, and how she hungered for you, how even a drop from your sweet cunt was addicting enough.
you didn’t regret sleeping with her, you never could. you regret going behind aubrey’s back, and not understanding how it got to this point.
“chairs are filling up more, let’s go,” you said, gesturing to her to follow you to the waiting area. you could hear a exasperated sigh come from cassie as you were only a few feet in front of her, yet followed you anyways.
the first few hours of the shift went by slow, mostly working in triage with cassie the entire time until robby handed it over to victoria and samira to handle the second he overheard at you and her bumping heads with a patient in the room.
“finish your sets of patients from this morning separately,” robby demanded, clearly frustrated and overwhelmed. “the two of you usually work the best together, so please just get it fixed before i make you both a human resources problem.”
you nodded, and he sighed, walking away to go treat an incoming trauma. you were about to do the same until cassie’s hand grasped at your hand, dragging you into the break room.
anyone hardly ever came into it, given the fact that the emergency department was always chaotic, which made it entirely free.
“i can’t keep doing this with you,” cassie said, a tremble at the edge of her voice. “i don’t like getting angry or frustrated with you, it breaks my heart.”
you stood there, fidgeting with your badge and wanting to cry. you didn’t mean to get upset, but being in close proximity to her made you want to melt into a puddle, and forget all of your morals all over again.
“baby, you have to speak to me,” she stated, dropping your wrist and taking an inch closer to you. “whether that means you say you don’t want this or do want it — i just need something to work with.”
“i don’t know, cassie,” you shrugged. “aubrey was waiting up for me the morning i went back home, and it just made me realize i’m a bad person.”
“you’re not a bad person,” cassie assured, shaking her head. “i pursued you — not the other way around.”
“but i still gave into it because when it comes to you, i just,” you trailed off, lowering your head as tears crept to your eyes. “i just bare my whole soul to you, and you somehow find devotion in it.”
“i find devotion in all of you, sweetheart,” cassie said. “you’re worth it all, i promise that. but am i worth it to you?”
the question hung in the air because it was one that you had been conflicted with since the first day, since the time she carried you to her bed and made sure you were comfortable, since the first kiss and touch.
you had mulled over the question the first night you and her had sex, and you were straddled on her lap.
you could hear it in her voice, the plea to assure her that she was worth something to you as you were everything to her.
you could feel cassie’s eyes burning into you, her impatience wrapping up as you took your time to answer the simplest question that she had the answer to if anyone were to ask her the same.
“do you think i’m a horrible person?” she asked, in the same manner and tone as that night.
“you could never be horrible,” you softly told her, finally gathering courage to look at her. you wanted to continue on, say how she was the only good and beautiful thing in this world once more, but instead, you let your words linger around as you walked out of the break room, and back to your set of patients.
by the end of your shift, you stood outside of the hospital, waiting for your lyft driver to pick you up. the weather was beginning to get a bit colder, shivering in your jacket, and you heard footsteps padding behind you, stopping on a few centimeters away with your name being called.
"what are you doing out here?" cassie asked, and you refused to turn around, looking down at your phone. "where's your car?"
"getting fixed up," you responded, seeing how the driver was still about ten minutes away.
"what about aubrey?"
"her car is also in the shop," you said, shrugging to yourself. "it's fine, i can wait and it just needs another day or two."
"let me give you a ride," cassie offered, and that caused to turn around to look at her. "it's really late out here, and it's cold. we don't even need to speak."
you only stared at her, weighing your options and tried to find any reason not to get in her car.
"sweetheart, i know you're freezing and i know you don't want to be in some strangers car," she stated, and you hummed under your breath, before nodding and cancelling the trip. "i won't even speak, not a bit."
you didn't argue with her, only trailing right behind her as you both made your way to her car.
the walk was brief and followed with silence, and you swore your heartbeat picked up each second and step when you were getting closer to her car.
she unlocked the vehicle, both of you getting in at the same time. she started the car, eyeing you for a second to make sure you had your seatbelt on. you kept your eyes forward as she began to drive out of the hospital's parking lot, the music on the road playing at a low volume.
you fidgeted with your fingers, picking at your cuticles and felt like you had to hold your breath the entire time. this was the worse silence between you and cassie, and you know she could pick up on your nerves, how you were trembling due to every exhale you let go of.
you took a slight look at her hands, how they were harshly grasping at the steering wheel and there was a clear white in her knuckles.
thoughts flooded your brain, questions you wanted to ask her, anything to break this silence that she vowed to because you were not used to this — every car ride she had given you before, there was never a moment of quiet.
this was new. everything felt rushed and new to you, and it made you feel like you were on the brink of a panic attack.
"why are you okay with this?" you blurted out, you and cassie both taking a quick look at one another. "you know i'm cheating and... and i don't know if you are still seeing that guy."
"i'm not seeing him anymore. i called it quits when you left that morning," she answered, sighing heavily. "and i didn't really like him that much, he was boring."
"you didn't answer my other question."
"because there's something special about you, always has been," she said, shrugging. "and i don't know, maybe i have this idiotic hope you will choose me eventually."
you were too focused on how she was possessing you, that you hadn't considered all the ways you were ruining her — either in all the ways she wanted, or didn't know was even possible.
the way cassie made you feel — electric and alive — you had never felt an inch of when you met aubrey, when you had kissed her for the first time. you remember being told you will feel love and the wanting for someone so deep in your bones, it basically becomes your only way of living and breathing.
maybe it would have been better to had break up with aubrey the moment you had a faster heartbeat for cassie, and you didn't have to grapple and tackle with your guilt and multitude of questions that made your situation with cassie all more complex.
"cassie," you shuddered, not realizing how your nerves made you tremble. you looked at her, and she took a second to look back at you, your face and the way you nearly moaned her name make it enough to not ask anything else.
her hand started on your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze and sat there for a minute or two, but her fingers were close to your clothed cunt. you could tell she was taking a longer route to your apartment as she gave a tap to your thigh, a signal to spread your legs slightly wider and you happily obliged.
"you need to ask nicely, baby," cassie stated.
"please touch me, cass," you pleaded, frowning. "touch what you know is yours."
she only hummed, slipping her hands in under your leggings and panties, teasingly running her fingers in between your sopping folds. "my girl just needed me, isn't that right?" she asked, and you whimpered, rutting against her hand. "i'll stop if you're not patient."
"please, cassie."
"maybe i'll deny you like you've been denying me," cassie stated, grinning to herself before she curled two fingers into your cunt. “what a fucking desperate cunt; i wonder how you’d even survive without my touch for months.”
"cassie, just please," you continued to plead, tugging at her wrist. "i need you so much."
"you always need me, baby," she stated, slowly thrusting her fingers. "you'd just die without me, isn't that right?"
you hummed, nodding and stifled whines under your breath. your hand stayed on her wrist, trying to keep your legs apart and eyes fixated on your lap.
"you're fucking dripping," cassie cursed under her breath, knowing her own arousal was growing by the second as she paced her fingers, pumping in three fingers that slowly stretched you out.
your mind was everywhere and you were trying to focus — the music on the radio felt like a sign from god, cassie fucking you open with her fingers alone, and how your heartbeat was thumping against your chest.
your head lulled back, and warmth crept up into your abdomen, your legs pulling together in response to it.
"feel like 'm gonna cum," you whined, your grip around cassie's wrist slightly tightening. "i need to, please please."
"you think you deserve it, sweetheart?," cassie asked, pulling over to a random curbside that was private. "going to cum all over my fingers like a whore, hm?"
"mhm, i'm your whore, i promise i am," you babbled, not giving a second thought to what was eliciting from you, whines and moans sewn between everything you said. "i want to be your whore forever."
"you already are, sweet girl," she stated, so sure and promising of it as she took off her seatbelt and inched closer to you. "look at me — c’mon, you need to or i'll stop."
your eyes flickered open and stared directly into hers, your eyebrows furrowed together as you could feel your high about to entirely tip over.
"give me a kiss, sweetheart, come here," cassie said, bringing you in for a kiss and fastened her fingers once more before you felt as if you were going to burst, your climax being freed. you moaned into her mouth, your arms immediately wrapping around her neck to hold her closer to you while she helped you ride out your high.
she slowly broke apart the kiss, her hand coming out from under your pants and your eyes widened to how you perfectly coated her fingers. she hummed in amusement, looking at you.
"open," is all she quipped, and you obliged, her fingers sliding into your mouth as you gently sucked to clean them. "you're perfect, i can't get enough of you."
cassie's fingers came out of your mouth with a soft pop before grabbing a napkin and wiped them freshly clean. "now let's get you home to that sweet girlfriend of yours, yeah?" she said, almost as if she was taunting you, and giving you a harsh reminder of everything.
you gathered your breathing on the rest of the drive, you and cassie not talking any further, and your stomach turned into knots with every last turn she made heading towards your apartment.
this affair would suffocate you, but it utterly bloomed parts of you that went long suppressed — and you were terrified of what the end results would be to it all.
cassie parked and before you could even get out, she stopped you. she fumbled for something in the pocket of her coat, bringing out a key as she handed it to you.
"what's this?" you wondered, slowly accepting it.
"a spare," cassie responded, shrugging. "in case you ever change your mind."
you nodded and put the key in your purse, getting out of her car. you rushed to your apartment, still able to feel cassie's eyes locked onto you until you entirely disappeared out of her vision.
the second you got to your apartment, you hurriedly unlocked the front door and got inside. you found aubrey sitting at the kitchen island, eating a late dinner as she smiled at the sight of you.
"hey babe," she greeted, and you took off your shoes, dropping your purse on top of them. you noticed a fresh set of flowers on top of the island, which caught you off guard because she rarely bought you flowers unless you reminded her to. "those are for you. i just... i wanted us to talk."
"you did?" you asked, trying not to sound nervous and sat down across from her. a million thoughts came to your head, almost sure that she had found out about the affair and you were about ready to break into tears. "what's going on?"
"i know we've been going through a lot recently," she started, both of you sharing mutual eye contact. "and i haven't been the greatest, letting my insecurities get the best of me when it even came to cassie. i need to learn to trust you more."
you shook your head. "it's honestly okay, honey. don't even worry about it."
"it's not okay. i've shut you out and left you alone," she stated, and you inhaled sharply. "i want us to work, i do. i only see you in my future, and i want to be a better person for you. you make me want to be a better person."
you were about to bend over and throw up on the floor because you were a horrible person, and you went months having feelings for someone else — and here was aubrey, trying to amend things when you had cassie's fingers deep in you not even twenty minutes ago.
"you have supported my career, and i should be equally supporting you, being there for you," she pointed out as you realized she genuinely seemed guilty and upset, making your stomach turn in all weird ways. "i only want you and this — i know we can make it work."
"of course we can," you immediately agreed, nodding — yet, you were trying to convince yourself rather than her, but she didn't seem to notice.
"i'm so sorry i've neglected you. i love you so much," aubrey assured, frowning and came to your side to embrace you into a hug, which you easily reciprocated.
"i love you more. i... i want us to work out too," you said, looking at your purse that had a key to cassie's place. "i hope we can fix everything."
and fixing everything meant cutting off cassie, for good.
only a few hours later, you were staring at the ceiling and aubrey was asleep next to you. there was a heavy weight on your chest, and you needed to end things immediately before waiting until you could see cassie at work.
you gently shook aubrey, sitting up. "babe, they called me in," you whispered, and she groaned. "i guess ellis called out and they're overloaded right now."
"are you serious?" aubrey mumbled, stuffing her face into her pillow.
"it's only for a few hours, and maybe i can get another day off for it," you said, getting out of the bed and stripping off your pajamas. “i think they even called in victoria so i won’t be entirely alone.”
she hummed, nodding. “just come back home as soon as you can,” she muttered, and you changed into a hoodie and sweatpants. “are you okay taking a ride share this late?”
“yeah, i’ll call up the shop later to get the update about our cars,” you said, coming to her side of the bed to give her a kiss on top of her head. “see you later, babe.”
you put on your shoes that were by the front door, grabbing your purse, and rushed out of the apartment. you paid for a lyft the second you stepped outside into the cold pittsburgh weather, knowing the ride would be short due to cassie’s place not being so far.
the second you got into the car, you sat in your thoughts and mulling over how you were going to officially cut things off — you knew you had to do it gently and explain a reasoning, even willing to tell cassie you can try to work at a different hospital.
you didn’t realize the time to be a little after midnight, feeling bad that you’d wake up cassie this late but you need some weight off your mind, and to know this affair would be over.
she surely wouldn’t get mad at you for it, to end it and that you could both try to go back to normal lives that were happening before everything had started.
you were too far into your mind, you didn’t realize how fast time had past as the car came to the halt, and you were right outside cassie’s apartment building. you thanked the driver before getting out, and heading onwards to her apartment, almost hurrying as if it someone would catch you in a second.
you reached her front door, softly knocking on it loud enough to alert her, but not enough to disturb her neighbors.
few seconds had past by, leading you to reach for the spare key she had given you, and before you could put it to the door, it opened widely with a merely exhausted cassie.
“sweetheart? what’re you doing here?” she asked, yawning, and you saw how she was wearing a loose tank top and boxers for sleep. her eyes adjusted to how you were shaky and how you seemed easily shameful. “what’s wrong? come inside.”
you walked into her apartment, putting your purse near her coat rack as you awkwardly stood in her living room, watching how she kept her distance. she turned on the lamp to expose enough light for the two of you to see each other, her arms crossed over her chest.
“aubrey wants to fix things with me,” you started off, inhaling sharply. “i’m willing to do it, too. maybe things could change for the better.”
“so what you’re telling me is you want to end this?” cassie wondered, and you nodded. “i mean, is that really what you want?”
“she seemed sincere, cass. she even bought me flowers—”
“you told me she rarely buys you flowers unless you begged for it,” she cut you off, confused and slightly taken aback. “will you tell her about this?”
“are you insane? nobody can ever know,” you scoffed, shaking your head. “if aubrey knew, i’m sure she’d find a way to ruin my life.”
“i doubt that’d happen. besides, you can come right back to me,” cassie assured, and you rolled your eyes. “you know you’ll always come right back to me — you can’t help it.”
“this was meant to be casual, a one time thing,” you said, shrugging in thought. “it was never meant to happen again and again.”
“it’s an affair, sweetheart. it’ll never be casual,” she stated, slowly walking up closer to you. “if you really want this to be done, look me straight in the eye and mean it.”
“i do mean it.”
“no you don’t,” cassie denied, now only a few inches away from you. “you don’t even sound sure about it.”
she purposely came closer, her hand grasping onto your chin to force you to look at her before you dared to try to look in the other direction.
“i doubt she could even make you cum properly, sweetheart,” cassie said, and you could nearly smack yourself from how you felt the need to drop to your knees in front of her. “who else will take care of you? you think you’ll feel good with her?”
you tried to get your face out of her grip, but she wouldn’t budge a bit.
“tell me you don’t want me anymore. tell me you’ll be just fine without me,” she coaxed, bringing her hand down and let it rest on your waist, tucked under your sweater.
“cassie,” you exhaled, as if her name had been strangling inside of your throat and got caught. “i want to be good.”
“you are good,” she reassured, mocking a frown. “you’re such a good, sweet girl — an honest one, at that. so, i’ll ask you again—”
“i have to fix this with aubrey.”
cassie paused, slightly tilting her head in thought as she grinned. “you could’ve texted me all of this — you could’ve even waited until work — but you insisted on coming here instead because you need something.”
“that’s not true,” you protested.
“tell me you’re not wet right now,” she pried, her hand sneaking in lower and barely brushed over your covered cunt. “because i know you are, and i know you don’t want this over.”
you mentally cursed at yourself, not even wanting to push her away because you needed her. it made you nearly sick how easy you were for her, how she had this much control, and she probably knew that too.
"do you want me to stop?" cassie asked if she needed the final confirmation and assurance that you were endlessly hers, and she could do as pleased.
your body easily adjusted to her touch, to how close her face was to yours to the point you could smell fresh spearmint from her, and your lips were in dire need of hers against yours.
you were already too far into this situation with cassie, so why end it now? what's wrong with just one more night, one more moment of cassie fucking you?
"don't stop," you breathed, like your chest had been holding onto your words. "never stop, cassie."
there was a light that flickered behind her eyes as she desperately pulled you into a kiss, the crushing weight of both mouths pressing together surely able to create a bruise in a few hours.
she carefully led you both to her bedroom, one of her hands holding the back of your head to make sure it wouldn't bump into anything, only for her to throw your legs around her waist as her hands gripped to the back of your thighs to hold you up.
you moaned, her lips finding way to the cusp of your neck and a plethora of kisses and gentle bites were marked into it. she laid you down on her bed, not wasting a second of taking off each other's clothes.
you remained bare in her bed, her eyes fixated on how beautiful were, how she thought of all the ways she could break you again. she hovered over, kissing you once more and her hand cupped your cunt, a single finger teasing between your slick folds.
"hear that, baby? your cunt needs me," she muttered in between the kiss, and you nodded, whimpering. "say you're pathetic for me — say it."
"i'm pathetic for only you, cass," you elicited, so sharply clear with each syllable, almost a plea of desperation tied in your tone. "i'll always be pathetic for you."
"oh, i know, sweetheart," cassie smiled, almost pleased with how obedient you were. "get on your knees and maybe then i'll consider fucking you."
you nearly sprang off the bed, coming down to the carpet as you watched her put on her harness in a hasty manner. it only took her barely a minute, turning around while you looked up at her.
"you're a smart girl, you know what to do," she said, and you opened your mouth, her cock perfectly slipping into it. she grabbed the top of your head with both hands, controlling how you paced yourself yet you maintained sharp eye contact with her.
you were glad your gag reflex was minimal and made sure to breathe out of your nose as she didn't wait another minute to start fucking her cock down your throat, tears welling your eyes.
"maybe i should send aubrey a picture of you like this to her," cassie casually threatened, seemingly amused with herself. "let her know that her girlfriend will do anything for me to fuck her. you'd like that, wouldn't you?"
you gurgled a response, one that you knew she chose to ignore, and drool began to form around your mouth, slowly dripping down your chin down to your breasts.
your cheeks were beautifully hallowed in, and cassie could nearly cum from this sight of you — perfectly sucking her dick, letting her use you and get her all wet.
her strength on top of your head had toughened, forcing your head down deeper onto her cock, stiffled coughs eliciting from you, and she pulled back, letting you gather air.
"you think you had enough, honey?" she asked, and you inhaled sharply, your eyes red and glossy. "you gotta speak to me."
"not fucking done," you mumbled, and cassie got soaked, getting your mouth back around her dick, fucking your throat again.
you knew sucking her off got her off, how her face was flustered and her eyes fixated on how you took every inch of her like you were made for it.
cassie gave your head a final push, keeping her in your mouth for a few seconds, holding barely any room for you to properly breathe. your hands sat on her thighs, nails digging into her skin as she slipped her cock out of your mouth, and you coughed.
"you did such a good job, baby," cassie cooed, frowning and came down to your level, wiping your tears. "don't cry, it's okay. do you want to stop?"
you shook your head. "no, please."
"you squeeze my arm two times if you want to stop," she said, and you nodded while she gave your cheek a chaste kiss. she instantly grabbed the back of your neck, forcing you up with her, and put you on the bed, bending you over.
the bed's weight shifted as she knelt behind you, her hand placed on your back. you perfectly arched, your ass faced up and your face into the mattress, feeling the tip of her cock pressing against your swollen hole.
without any warning, cassie slowly pushed herself into your cunt, a stifled whimper eliciting from you, and a hungry groan coming out of her.
she grabbed both your hands, forcing them behind your back and used them as leverage to hold herself as she began to pound into you. the sound of skin colliding against one another prodded off the bedroom walls, your mixture of wanton noises being suppressed into the mattress while cassie's eyes stayed focused on her cock fucking into you.
"you know how fucking easy you are, baby?" cassie breathed, her nails digging into your skin. "coming over here just to get me to fuck you. i was right earlier — you would die without me."
"all for you, cassie," you muttered, your head floating with daze and euphoria, your eyes rolling back as she perfectly hit against your spot. "only you can make me feel this good."
"i know i can, you're fuckin' soaking my cock like a whore," she groaned, cursing something under her breath in the process. "maybe if your girlfriend came over, i could show her how good i make you feel and why she isn't enough."
somehow the idea of that turned you on further, and it was enough to make you reach the peak of an orgasm, the heat rising and spreading throughout your lower half.
"jesus fuck, you liked hearing that," she pointed out, and you mumbled in response, whines and whimpers knitted into your words. "you're about to cum all over me because i know you liked to be fucked; so filthy and perverted."
"i—i need to cum, need to s'much," you prattled, and cassie's hold on your arms got tighter, giving you to the permission to do so.
cassie had made you cum numerous times, being the only person to successfully to do so, but this time, everything rushed over you and entirely claimed you.
you felt a firestorm of lust raise on your skin and burn in the room, your orgasm electrifying your body as you collapsed down onto the bed, only allowing cassie to continue to thrust into you to help you ride out every moment of your high.
she didn't pull out of you, only letting go of your wrists and turning you over onto your back, staying inside of you with every movement. she didn't say anything else, only bringing your knees up to your chest and had you hold them close to you, kissing your forehead.
she worked with the same pace, gently rubbing your bud as it made your flinch from how sensitive you were, only earning an amused, breathy chuckle from her.
her bangs stuck to her forehead, her chain dangling over you with every thrust, and she continued to eye your body, taking in every inch and piece of you.
cassie wanted to bite your delicate skin, leave any mark she could so you could remember her for days. she slightly leaned over, grabbing you by your jaw, and only examined you -- you were free use only to her, willing to let her stretch out your cunt as you were overwhelmed with pleasure and satisfaction, it being visibly clear on your face.
her hand shifted from your face to your stomach, pressing down onto it and further drilled herself into you, becoming perfectly too much for you. you cried out her name in a plead of symphonies, your moans filling up her entire home, and her other hand continued to play with your cunt.
your body squirmed and trembled, ecstasy possessing you with each thrust cassie made, with each harder press she made on your stomach — it was like nothing you had experienced before, and something only she could do to you.
you were at her power, at her captivation, and nothing nor nobody could be good enough as her.
maybe it was cruel to think that way because of aubrey, but her desires came before yours — and cassie made sure yours were taken care of without ever considering herself.
"you gonna cum, baby?" she asked, and you hummed, mindlessly nodding. you were easily cock drunk, getting more wet at how you could feel how she filled you up and you wanted her to keep using you for the rest of the night. "tell me how much you love me, then."
you tried to keep your droopy eyes open, tilting your head in curiosity.
"only get to cum if you tell me you love me, sweet girl," she insisted, and you sat up on your elbows, letting your legs lazily drop. "you love me, don't you?"
you didn't know if you were truly desperate to come, but the words came out like word vomit as you clearly told her, "i love you s'much, cassie. you're the only one i love."
"i love you more, i love you so much, you'll never know," cassie confessed, and you whimpered, her hand coming up to the side of your face, cupping it. "i knew you were my girl since that first day."
"i love you, i love you," you jabbered, brows knitting together as you looked up at you, and your climax washed over you before you could warn her, a choked cry bouncing out from you. "i love you s'fucking much, cass."
cassie held herself up and over you, coming down to press a soft kiss to your lips and the side of your neck. she slowly gathered her breathing, trying to adjust it back into a normal pattern, and you carefully analyzed, making sure she was okay.
she slowly got herself out of you, taking off the harness, and reality rushed back to you, nearly knocking the wind out of you. you sat up, panic slowly starting to settle in, and you locked eyes with cassie.
"i did it again," you muttered, feeling like you were about to hyperventilate. "how long am i going to keep doing this?"
"i'm confused," cassie stood in front of you, hands on her hips. "i thought you wanted to do this."
"i did, i did! but i've said i love you to you!" you panicked, and cassie sat next to you, practically manhandling as she put you down on your lap, making you look at her. "and aubrey wanted to fix everything with me, and she felt bad—"
"baby, breathe," cassie said, softly shushing you. "i love you, and it's okay if you didn't mean it. but i do love you — it fucking aches my soul sometimes."
you swallowed thickly, collapsing against her body as she wrapped her arms around you, holding you. "i did mean it," you muttered, not sure if she heard you. "i'm terrible, i'm awful for cheating."
"you'll never be terrible," cassie said, kissing the side of your head. "i love you, and you're not terrible. i want to show and teach you that you're not."
"i have to go back soon," you said, looking at the small digital clock on her nightstand, reading 3:57AM on it. "i said i got called in."
"just stay with me for an hour," cassie told you, and you nodded, the two of you holding one another. you don't know how long you stayed like that with her, but you didn't mind nor care — she was there, and that's all that mattered.
it was nearly six in the morning when you opened your apartment door, slipping off your shoes and dropping your purse after you had shut it closed.
you needed to sleep entirely, maybe for a whole twelve hours and then maybe you would find all the correct words to tell aubrey that the relationship was at its end.
you dragged yourself over to the bedroom, yawning and your eyes were slowly closing, thinking about just sleeping on the couch since it was the closest.
you rubbed your eyes before you opened the bedroom door, just to find aubrey sleeping next to another figure that was in your spot. you were sure you were hallucinating from how exhausted you had become, and your brain was playing some joke on you so you rubbed your eyes again — but the same person remained next to aubrey.
and they were both nude.
"are you fucking kidding me!" you yelled, jolting them both awake and to sit up. you stood by the door frame, and you knew for a moment you were a bit hypocritical for getting angry — you did just come back from having another night of sex with your coworker. "who is that!"
the random girl looked at aubrey, at you, and then down at her lap while aubrey tried to find what to say to you, to make up any excuse or justification.
"don't bother to lie," you started, holding up a hand. "i just need to know when it started."
aubrey and her refused to answer, and you looked directly at the stranger. silence filled up the room, the outside traffic of pittsburgh being the only distant noise to come creeping in.
"what's your name?" you asked her, causing her to look at you. "first of all, i'm not mad at you."
"my name is lindsay," she answered, and you knew that name sounded familiar.
"is this the lindsay you mentioned when we first moved here, and you started your job?" you directly asked aubrey, and your partner slowly nodded. "so how long has this been going on for?"
"before you even started at the hospital," aubrey confessed, and you inhaled sharply. "lindsay comes when you work night and... and when i go out of town for work."
"so you've been doing her for what? like a year?" you asked, needing clarification and they both nodded. "this is insane. you're fucking insane."
aubrey hurriedly threw on a baggy shirt as she followed you out of the bedroom when you were going right back to putting on your shoes and grabbing your purse, profusely apologizing and asking for forgiveness.
all the guilt and regret you were feeling had gone out the window — you weren't exactly justifying your own doing, but it did seem like an eye for an eye situation.
and she was cheating on you before you had even met cassie.
"get the fuck out of this apartment by tomorrow," you told her, pointing a finger in her face. "i pay majority of the rent, my name is on the lease — so get the fuck out of my place."
you rushed out of the apartment and you entirely blacked out, you honestly did, because you couldn't recall running down multiple blocks to cassie's apartment. you weren't even sure if you had looked both ways when crossing the streets or if you had accidentally bumped into people — all you knew is that you had to get to cassie's or you were going to faint.
you only knew you had been running when you almost ran into cassie's door before heavily knocking on it, and you were trying to catch your breath.
cassie opened it only a few seconds later, and her face softened into worry as you didn't also realize you were sobbing.
she pulled you right inside, slamming the door and brought you over to her couch, sitting you down. "baby, what's wrong?" she asked, squatting down in front of you and held your hands. "did you run all the way here?"
"i... i had to," you cried out, sniffling. "she cheated on me... she did it before i even worked at the pitt."
"wait, what?" cassie confusingly wondered, eyebrows furrowed together. "what do you mean she cheated?"
"i walked into the apartment and," you inhaled sharply, trying to find a way to catch your breath, "there was a girl there next to her. her name is lindsay, and aubrey admitted the affair between them started before i even met you."
"what the fuck," cassie muttered, and you sobbed more, bringing your head into your hands. "oh baby, i'm so, so sorry."
"i mean, i can't be mad," you cried, wiping your tears. "i cheated on her too so maybe i'm being stupid."
"sweetheart," cassie called, bringing your hands down to your lap and held them gently, kissing the back of them before lifting up your head so you could look at her. "she banned you from seeing me — she didn't even want you to babysit harrison. she was merely projecting before you even did anything. she's been in the wrong."
"i forgot she forbad me," you sniffled, chuckling. "can i stay here?"
"you don't ever need to ask," cassie reassured, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "how about you lay down for a bit, okay? i know you've barely slept."
"will you stay with me?" you asked, and she nodded, sitting down on the couch before you could lay down. you put your head down on her lap as she brought a blanket over your body, soothingly rubbing your back with one hand, the other giving your head gentle strokes.
you passed out due to exhaustion and for a moment, you could easily breathe.
you woke up to some arguing, some bickering between two distinct voices as your eyes slowly fluttered open and there was a minor headache pounding at your skull.
you yawned before sitting up, finding a way to adjust to the sunset that cracked through cassie’s living room windows.
you read the clock that was on her wall, realizing you had been asleep for about nearly twelve hours.
“i see her right there!” a voice called, and your head instantly turned around to it, noticing aubrey.
aubrey was at cassie’s door, and cassie was arguing with her to leave and get out while you felt your two worlds clashing together.
you stood up from the couch, remaining near it and not wanting aubrey to come inside at all. “what are you doing here?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest.
“if cassie would let me in, i want to explain,” she stated, and cassie’s glared at her, having her arm up against the doorframe to make a barricade. “i was going to tell you, i swear i was.”
you scoffed, rolling your eyes.
“you need to get out of here,” cassie said, and aubrey looked annoyed, only angering both parties. “you’re on private property, and i can tell the police you’re threatening us.”
you hastily walked over to them before they could both throw a spew of threats and fighting at one another, swearing you would need a cigarette after everything was over with.
“if i let you come in,” you started, and cassie’s head snapped in your direction, seemingly confused, “you will only be telling me the whole truth.”
“i swear, only the truth,” aubrey promised, and you hummed, nodding for her to follow you. cassie stayed close behind, almost ready to pounce behind aubrey and get into altercation — but she did consider how she wouldn’t get an ankle monitor this time, she’d get jail time instead.
you sat down on the couch, bringing the blanket over your lap and cassie sat on the arm of it, her eyes following aubrey’s every move.
“why did you come here out of all places?” aubrey wondered, and you didn’t respond, only giving a flicker look to cassie.
“how did you know i’d even be here?” you asked, fidgeting with the blanket.
“i went to santos’ apartment and whitaker said you’d be here,” aubrey answered, and you sighed. “are you always here?”
“aren’t you here to explain to me why you’ve been cheating since the day we moved here?” you questioned, and she immediately nodded, just standing awkwardly a few feet away from you.
“i got lonely. you had also been so busy during college, and we grew easily distant,” she began, and cassie scoffed, detecting nonsense. “can she not be here for this?”
“you’re in my fucking house. you can keep talking or get out,” cassie insisted, and aubrey looked agitated, almost as if she wanted to fight her too.
“and every time i wanted to have sex, you were too busy studying or doing labs,” she said, and the headache intensified itself as you wanted to nearly burst into laughter.
what a load of bullshit.
“when we moved here and i got the job, lindsay was the first person to welcome me and,” she trailed off, and you wondered if she thought you were actually buying into what was she saying. “and it just started from there.”
“did you cheat on me during our time in college? when i did school at hopkins?” you asked, and aubrey not answering you — not even with a nod — gave you all the final answers. “i can’t fucking believe you.”
“it just happened,” aubrey said. “but it’s not like you haven’t been cheating either.”
“what?” you and cassie both said in a unison.
“why else would cassie be picking you up or drop you? babysit for her kid?” aubrey questioned, looking at you and cassie back and forth.
“because i’m her friend who likes to help her out,” you told her, which wasn’t a complete lie — aubrey had hers even before you even met cassie or moved to pittsburgh. “don’t try to turn this against me. you started cheating when we barely started dating.”
“i still want to fix this,” aubrey said, and you looked her dead in the eye, wondering if she was being serious. “we can fix this together.”
“get the fuck out,” cassie got up from the couch, prepared to physically escort her out. “you cheated, you lied — you never deserved her.”
“and you do?” aubrey wondered, and you stood up from the couch, having to separate them again.
“you know i do, she does too,” cassie stated, and aubrey shoved her, not aggressively but enough to make her stumble a few steps back.
“okay, you’re both pissing me off,” you said, and sat back down. “aubrey, i expect you out of the apartment by tomorrow.”
“baby, come on,” aubrey pleaded, and you nearly broke into tears all over again. you had spent so much of your time feeling guilty, pushing cassie away and rejecting her because you were filled with this shame that you nearly succumbed.
you were about to leave her behind for good, and try to mend things. maybe it was a twisted sign and luck that you found out, that you stumbled upon aubrey when you did.
“i never want to see you again, i never want to hear from you,” you said, voice cracking, and cassie knelt in front of you, holding your hands.
aubrey looked in awe, her stomach sinking to her stomach. cassie was incredibly gentle with you, speaking to you as if you were the purest thing in the room, and she knew from that alone, she’d never compare and that some of her own intuition had been right.
aubrey had grow envious, how you visibly bared your vulnerability to cassie, and cassie welcomed it, taking it into all her consideration. she hated her — she wished you had loved her in the ways you did for cassie.
“i won’t contact you again,” aubrey began, “but i also knew i wasn’t wrong.”
she walked herself out, and you were left alone with cassie — no shame or guilty settled in you, only a warmth prevailing and blossoming in your soul to cover it all up.
my older coworker who works back of house lifted an entire box of produce for me and when i said thank you she said “wouldn’t want the pretty front of house girl to get her hands dirty” and smiled and i’ve been riding that high since yesterday okay send tweet
Cassie had gotten good at leaving parties. She could sense when things were about to get rowdy; she knew when she could slip out unnoticed. It was how she made sure that good times didn't turn into lapses in good judgment.
Shoulders hunched just so, hands shoved into the pockets of her hoodie, she slouched past the smokers huddled around the side door. She'd parked a few blocks away, but the night was warm. Moths fluttered in the pools of light flung out by streetlights.
"Hey, Cassie! Wait!"
Victoria chased after her, stumbling, just a little. Her shoes were untied. Clearly she'd rushed out to meet Cassie before she'd gotten too far.
"You're leaving?" she said when she caught up, halfway breathless. "I'll walk with you."
Cassie froze. This had never happened before.
"Oh," she said, "Yeah, sure. Of course."
She was so used to making this afterparty trek alone, having left everyone else still mid-party, that she wasn't sure how to fill the quiet. Happily, Victoria was clearly drunk and bubbling over with conversation to share.
"Oh, the moon is so full tonight," Victoria said, slurring just a bit on the so. Cassie startled a little when Victoria lurched forward to grab her hand. It was smaller than hers, softer, her skin cooler somehow despite the humidity.
"You know," she continued, swinging both of their arms so gladly, like she no longer cared where her arm ended and Cassie's began, "I always thought it was a little romantic that there's a carpal named after the moon. Like, sure, I get it, it's crescent shaped, but lunate. It's beautiful isn't it? Like having some tiny bit of the universe inside your wrist."
If there was ever a time that Cassie wanted to put Victoria into a Mason jar with holes in the lid (to shake her like a bug), this was it. There had been myriad other times when she'd considered it, but this was firmly, firmly it. She wanted to crack open her skull and understand how she saw the world. That said, she understood in that moment that if she did take a peek into Victoria Javadi's mind, she would see that she sought to understand the world as it aligned with textbook descriptions. Her heart ached with this knowledge, knowing that so much of her world existed as fringe cases, not-so concise as an MCAT exam question scenario. Not something that might come up in lecture, but nonetheless undeniably real.
Cassie thought about untangling her fingers from Victoria's, about letting her down gently, but something stopped her. Maybe it was as simple as the kindness of her touch given so freely. She wasn't sure, but she let her grip hold.
"I always thought the great saphenous sounded like a wizard name," she offered weakly. It didn't connect at all to what Victoria had been talking about; in fact, it was not even in the same region of the human body, but she thought maybe Victoria might understand.
"Ugh, great saphenous," Victoria groaned, like the etymology of the vein's name was the bane of her existence, "Like, yeah, whatever, it means "hidden" in Arabic, and "evident" in Greek, but all I see is saph like sapph like sapphic like there's a big lesbian vein in your upper thigh."
"Yeah," Cassie replied. Her spit felt warm in her mouth. God, she thought, hand still grasped firmly in Victoria's hand. Fuck, she thought, I'm going to kiss her, aren't I?
"Yeah," Victoria repeated, apparently not noticing Cassie's agony. "Anyway. Um, I noticed you at the party and…you really just sort of let people come to you, don't you?"
It was true: Cassie did usually choose a spot to camp out as soon as she arrived anywhere, whether the end of a cough or a choice bit of wall to lead against with her comically large water bottle (that someone, inevitably, asked about, assuming it was filled with vodka or some other rank shit, like she were some frat boy guarding her buzz). She liked to stay barnacled to the spot for as long as she could tolerate, letting faces filter pass, letting conversation wash over her.
"I like to think of myself as a sort of axis that the party rotates around," she winked with confidence she couldn't quite summon. She hoped Victoria didn't notice (a part of her desperately wanted her to think that Cassie was cool.)
But Victoria nodded, considering. "I was watching you —" her eyes widened, hearing herself, "I mean, not like a creep or anything. Just, like, I noticed you, is all. People like you."
Cassie read the shift in tone and gave Victoria's arm a little swing out of sync.
"Hey," she said reassuringly, "People like you. You're just new…ish."
"And a bit of a freak."
"Who isn't a bit of a freak?" Cassie replied amicably. She jostled her shoulder against Victoria's never letting her hand go. "People like you. I like you."
Victoria digested this quietly, then glanced around. They'd been walking for a while.
"You parked really far away," she said.
"Oh," Cassie laughed. "We passed my car ages ago."
"But—"
"But nothing," Cassie said firmly. "I'm having a nice time."
"Okay."
"But if we loop around this block, we'll get back to my car again. I'm sober," Cassie reminded her. "I've been keeping track."
Victoria nodded again, again, again, and Cassie wanted to cup her chin with her free hand to make her stop. She wanted to cup her chin just to touch her face.
She jammed her free hand in her pocket.
"What are you thinking about?" Cassie asked softly, not unkindly, and Victoria stopped walking. She dropped Cassie's hand and met her eyes.
"Mostly I feel stupid," Victoria admitted. "I saw you leaving the party without saying goodbye and I thought she can't just leave, she just can't not say goodbye…but you can, can't you? I don't know why I chased after you."
"You don't?"
Victoria crushed her eyes shut. Grimaced. Dropped Cassie's hand. "No," she admitted, "Of course I do. I wanted to talk to you all night. But you seemed so cool and above everything and I just kept drinking this weird stuff Santos had brought that she kept telling me was 'lesbian moonshine' and I thought, like, maybe that's what liquid courage is supposed to mean? Maybe it's supposed to mean getting so drunk that you uninhibit your frontal lobe enough to say something stupid for once in your life? I mean, actually, I say embarrassing stuff all the time, and I'm embarrassed. But I mean, this is where I can be embarrassing without feeling embarrassed, you know?"
Cassie nodded. She knew. "You haven't said anything stupid yet," she said.
"You say that," Victoria says, a weird frenzy climbing in her voice, pitching it upward, "but I ran out here like it was some Hallmark movie moment—"
"—Hallmark is for straight people—"
"—they have some gay stuff now—"
"—it's still for straight people—"
"Whatever," Victoria huffed out an exasperated sigh. "I just mean that I ran out here thinking, like, maybe if I stopped you, something would happen."Cassie felt that warm spit pooling under her tongue again. "Something like what?" She asked.
"Something like—" Victoria paused, glancing around. "We've passed this house already."
Cassie waved her off. "We passed my car again. Don't worry about it."
Victoria nodded and hugged her arms around herself.
"Something like—?" Cassie gently prodded again, but Victoria just shook her head, folding in on herself.
Cassie stopped walking, which forced Victoria to stop and meet her eyes.
She brought her hands up to Victoria's face, thumb grazing her jawline.
"Something like this?"
Victoria swallowed. "Maybe," she said, holding Cassie's gaze.
Fuck it, Cassie thought. She'd known this would happen the first time they'd walked around this particular block. Might as well lean into fate.
Victoria's lips were soft, and her mouth tasted like a nightmare (Cassie would ask Trinity later, would discover that lesbian moonshine had been an original concoction of everclear and raspberry sourpuss. Cassie realized in the aftermath that it was a small miracle that Victoria had managed to stay upright this far into the night, let alone chase after her.)
Cassie pressed her forehead against Victoria's.
"Your shoes are still untied," she said, gently. Victoria laughed.
"I think if I try to tie them now, I'll fall over and never get back up."
Without another word, Cassie knelt down and tied them for her. Double-knotted them, just to be safe. Victoria couldn't help herself: her hands found the top of Cassie's head, knotted her fingers through her hair while she was still on her knees.
"Don't stand up too fast," Victoria hiccuped softly. "I might fall over."
Cassie took her time. When they were both standing again, she looped her arm through Victoria's and let her lean her head against her shoulder.
"My car's just up ahead," Cassie said. "I can drive you."
"Anywhere?"
Cassie considered. "Anywhere within state lines."
Victoria said something then, rushing her words so that they were merely a slurry of syllables, and immediately buried her face against Cassie's arm.
"Hey," Cassie laughed. "What happened to being so drunk you can't be embarrassed?"
Victoria laughed, too, her mouth opening against Cassie's bare arm.
"My mortification knows no bounds."
"In any case, I think I understood" Cassie guided Victoria toward her car, to the passenger side.
yousharknotpass
andulkaphoto
blakekathryn
dailybridgerton
tangentwithtanner
vaporwave
kianamaiart
titsay
