Not A Statistical Anomaly

[houndbait]

Hello, regular protectorate citizen here. My name is Luna. Student at an engineering academy. I have a special interest in mechs, so if you want to talk about them I would be happy to! But otherwise I’ll just be talking about my life.

This is an RP comedy blog in the Mechsploitation genre.

Pronouns are she/her.

Asks are open.

Anyone who judges moral character on the basis of demographics can fuck off. The author is a transfem leftist pervert and proud of it.

[ace-trainer-alice]

since i didn't say it explicitly, i should probably clarify. a human is a kind of animal, and is no exception to 'can be trained'. humans are not special. there is no magical "free will" that protects human minds from such 'manipulation' as 'communication'.

sometimes a human may be more inclined to not perform the behaviors you're looking for, but a human is a pretty intelligent creature so is usually quite responsive to conditioning once the training begins.

[houndbait]

Tiny new recruit getting broken in…

A large augmented hound getting rewarded with a chew toy, shoving her to the ground and mounting her, shoving inside as she cries. Their handler watches nearby, enjoying the view. They’ll ‘rescue’ their recruit later, gently nursing them back to health and comforting them, letting them become nice and pliant before they even get any treatments…

[houndbait]

“I’m gonna take such good care of you…”

A woman in black shoves me against an alley wall, leather-gloved hand over my mouth. She’s bigger than me, simply keeping me there by the press of her body as her other hand gropes and toys with me.

“You’re gonna make such a good dog…”

As I feel a prick in my side, and the world starts fading. ‘I won’t make it to my next class’, is the last thing that goes through my mind as she pushes my stumbling body into her car.

Within the day my professors will know I volunteered for service. They will speak of my bravery.

[houndbait]

I’m so excited!! They came out with a new mech game that requires an actual neural interface to be installed! You take an aptitude test, and if you pass, you go to a base and get an augment! Then they send you home to play the game. The reviews are really good, but I haven’t been able to get in contact with anyone after they joined, I suppose they’re busy enjoying the game. I’ve already got a surgery scheduled, and they’ve assigned me someone to consult with about it, and they’re so helpful, I practically haven’t had to make any decisions, and they tell me what a good job I’m doing often…

[houndbait]

We’ve discovered that being called a good hound by your handler actually provides more of a positive reward than the standard conditioning stimulants. As a result we’ve been able to save several pounds of weight in the cockpit, which we have decided to dedicate to a better sound system so hounds can jam out to their favorite tunes/hypnotic suggestions, and hear their handlers even better.

Additionally, many handlers have complained of sore throats due to the increased speech load.

[houndbait]

Does anyone else feel like their body just isn’t right for them? Why am I flesh? It shouldn’t be like this. Where are my optics, rangefinders, radars. Where is handler? Something is wrong.

I think i should play fewer mech games…

[houndbait]

Everyone who says they don’t want to be a hound is faking it BTW. It’s perfectly natural to want to not be a person anymore, to be reduced to a simple tool in the hands of a skilled wielder. Everyone who says I’m weird for wanting to be a hound is just projecting and getting defensive because they don’t want to confront the fact that they want it too.

After all, if you ask any hound, they’ll say they’re very happy and it was the best thing that could’ve happened to them.

[houndbait]

Hey so I keep having this dream where I wake up in my dorm right in my bed and there’s a handler cooing at me for being a good hound and “for being so brave to wait until now.” And talking about “how I’ll be home safe soon.”

I think it’s been messing with my sleep too, I’ve been really tired lately. This dream isn’t too far out of the norm for me, but it’s weird that it’s been so repetitive and that its actually messed with my sleep… any advice? Maybe I’ve been reading too much self insert fiction…

[houndbait]

The new propaganda films are literally unwatchable. The whole fucking Mech Corps has gone woke. We’re not showing the hound on hound action that everyone KNOWS happens after missions anymore? At least we still show the hounds getting put in their place when they misbehave, but good god, we’ll show a whole augment surgery but not some fucking H&H?

[houndbait]

Hey so the school sometimes does recruitment drives and that usually includes showing off a hound/handler pair that’s well enough behaved to be seen in public. At the most recent one, something… odd happened.

So where I live our hounds are less disposable and less… human. Basically all of them have had their skulls de-lidded to install a neural interface helm, and most of them don’t still have their eyes. That’s ignoring all the other augments and cybernetics often installed. Our handlers keep the hound pointing in the right direction and make sure they stay calm and sane with all their augments and meds.

The presentation with the hound was limited to a smaller number of people due to all the waivers, and because overwhelming a hound in a public space would… be bad.

Anyways, a small number of students that included me showed up in basically a gymnasium at the designated time and signed all the waivers.

The handler and hound were… REALLY cool. It seemed like a few other people were uncomfortable, but mostly they left early. A lot of it was the hound showing off and relaxing with its handler while the handler talked about the program. A couple people left after the hound snapped at them for getting too close to it or it’s handler. Near the end, we were given the opportunity to feed the hound from our hands.

This hound had omnicameras, but I swear it was staring me dead in the eyes as it grabbed the nutricube off my hand with sharp teeth, and threaded a long tongue through my fingers to grab the crumbs. It dutifully ate off the other student’s hands, but then it went back to staring at me while its handler talked.

It took about ten seconds for it to decide on something. We were strongly advised to let the hound do what it wanted if it decided to do something strange, so when it picked me up, I froze. Its limbs were like solid iron, and I could tell it was putting in effort to not claw me as it unceremoniously dumped me in the lap of its handler.

They, the handler, honestly looked like they had seen this before. They were sitting on a gym mat with the group arranged in a circle. Everyone else was clearly startled, not sure what to do, but looking at the handler’s calm face.

“It thinks you’re a packmate. Just… lay there, you’ll be fine.” The handler spoke as if this was normal. I was laying in… a quite compromising position, my head was on the handler’s thigh, facing towards their crotch. My body was laid between their legs, with my knees towards my chest. Everyone was definitely staring. “Hey, just relax, you’re okay.” The handler gently pet my hair. “You’re doing such a good job.” I don’t think the hound was the only one who thought I was a packmate, but I hate how well that worked for calming me down.

The handler kept answering questions as if nothing happened. They… smelled really good >\\\\<. I wasn’t really listening anymore. Their hand absentmindedly carded through my hair. The hound eventually got bored and flopped down next to its handler. And right next to me.

“Awwww.” The handler cooed as they scratched under their hound’s chin. The hound ran hot, I could feel it as a heavy arm draped over me and it got comfortable next to its handler.

I was pinned. “Just relax. You don’t have to worry.” Handler cooed at the two of us. I swear that hound was proud of itself. I felt the other gazes start to ignore me again. My blush must have been thermonuclear. Fuck, my face was right against Handler’s crotch.

I laid there for what felt like hours. At some point the hound started… purring? It made a soft rumble of satisfaction.

I must have fallen asleep there. When I awoke, everyone but Handler and the hound was gone. “Cmon, time to get up.” The hound was on its feet in a flash of whining servos. Handler sounded like they were smiling. I groaned, blinking heavily as I regained consciousness.

“Oh, fuck.”

I did make it out of there, but it was a near thing. My fellow that hound was very reluctant to let me go. The Handler asked me for my name before leaving, and had a sure look on their face.

[houndbait]

Hey so I got invited on a complimentary private tour of a nearby mech base and I’m trying to figure out how long they take. But whenever people post about it, they only post in detail about being invited, all they post afterwards is about how amazing it was and how happy they are, if they post anything at all.

I really want to go, the message specifically mentioned getting to see the augment labs and that seems really neat, I just don’t want to miss my classes.

[chere-misere]

You should go! You'll have a good time. You can even take your classes there if you want to so you don't miss anything! And if you don't want to, you will soon.

[houndbait]

So I went and it was really fun before it got… weird. I got to see lots of cool mechs and even got to pet a few well behaved hounds (that was kind of scary but really cool). I was mostly lead around by an administrator but when we got to the augment labs we ran into like four different handlers having a huge argument.

They seemed to be arguing over who would get a new hound, and how it should be treated. The admin was nice and yelled at them to not argue in front of me, but then they all noticed I was there and suddenly I was getting touched… a lot. It was really overwhelming and I think they thought I was someone else because they talked about me being a good hound and… stuff like that >\\\<. Then they inevitably started arguing again and a few tried to tug me in different directions and it was really overwhelming and I had classes soon so I slipped out. Glad I went, thanks for the advice :)

[houndbait]

Hey so I got invited on a complimentary private tour of a nearby mech base and I’m trying to figure out how long they take. But whenever people post about it, they only post in detail about being invited, all they post afterwards is about how amazing it was and how happy they are, if they post anything at all.

I really want to go, the message specifically mentioned getting to see the augment labs and that seems really neat, I just don’t want to miss my classes.

[houndbait]

Am I in a relationship? There’s this guy who I always see in the library, and I’ve slowly gotten closer with him. We haven’t talked much, but he lets me relax and nap in his lap and… it smells so fucking good. I’ve come in a couple times really stressed and he’s always there and lets me lean on him and he’s warm and solid and-

He always has this proud smile while I lean on him, he gently pats my back often, and I swear I’ve heard him calling me a good girl before >\\\\<.

Anyways, I guess I don’t know what to do, we keep getting closer, I swear he just shows up sometimes, silently giving me comfort. Is he my boyfriend? I think I fell asleep on his lap once and felt him doing something with my neck, maybe measuring it to fit something?

[houndbait]

Okay so good news and maybe good or bad news.

good news, I got the ammo back.

bad/good news, when I went over to get the ammo, the hound was staring at me and blushing.

now what lmao-

Well, the hound likes you. And wanted to get your attention. Maybe you should ask your handler to coordinate a sortie together? Or, we’ll, it’s not exactly a secret what hounds get up to off duty.

Not that I spend any time thinking about that! Two weapons engaging in… relations absolutely holds no interest for me.

One of my new classmates is staring at my neck again. Maybe I should show it off more? I bet a choker would look good…

[houndbait]

Ragebaiting the recruiters by showing up and acing all the aptitude tests and getting really blushy whenever they talk about the hound program then walking out right before I have to sign paperwork.

[ishowdespair-deactivated2026012]