hound

they/he/she, early 20s MDNI 18+ mechsplo blog if you give a hound a blog….

[houndposter]

about me

hey, i'm wraith!! big houndposter, and @handlerposter's hound.

early 20s they/he/she genderqueer lesbian, still figuring it out. it/its is also fine when referring to me as hound

i like to shitpost and bite my Handler, and also occasionally terrorise the mech techs (sorrryyyyy..)

gamer writer artist thing

hope you enjoy my blog! if you don't please don't tell me i'll be sad (and i think my Handler might kill you)

[houndposter]

been hectic these last few days, Handler had to keep me a bit more subdued than usual. back to normal now i think, i hope

[houndposter]

Shheh injejxted mme againb

[houndposter]

grrr. grrrrr grrrrr. grrrrrrr

[houndposter]

START VOICE RECORDING

my pills got doubled today. what does it mean?

i don’t understand.

sigh

i’m getting tired again. slower. i’m failing.

i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good.

i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good.

for Her. i can’t keep failing Her. i’m remembering again.

i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to be Good. i need to b-

END VOICE RECORDING

[houndposter]

START VOICE RECORDING

not sure what i’m supposed to say, but Handler says this might help me process and i trust Her.

hi, i’m not really talking to anyone. Aurelia, i guess. hi Aurelia.

it’s safe to say what i need to say here, that’s what Handler says. maybe She’ll listen, but i don’t mind that, so, here goes.

i sometimes wonder who i was before i got here. it’s confusing. i still have some memory from when they had me on those drugs… some memory of… boots. the smell of leather still haunts me, sometimes. mostly i associate it with Her, with Safety.

i struggle to kneel now, it hurts my knees. i spent a long time kneeling before, i think. i almost feel like i’m a broken hound, not fit for my purpose. though what is my purpose? i have a high success rate, though i still don’t feel… fulfilled. i feel like there’s more i’m supposed to be doing. i feel like there’s something i’m forgetting.

it always feels like there’s something i’m forgetting.

END VOICE RECORDING

[houndposter]

feeling sick from combat stims again. nearly got sick on Handler’s boots today while walking next to Her. grrr.

[houndposter]

got so many scritches and a nap for doing a good job 🐕🐕🐕

[houndposter]

being back in Aurelia felt like being back in my own skin again. sortie was good. don’t remember much, Handler had to help me out. Aurelia is like an extension of me, my dear beloved.

[houndposter]

my Handler let me borrow Her coat for a few minutes because i asked out of curiosity if it was really comfy… it was. going to curl up in my cockpit until i’m sent out now. still tired, but i finally get to pilot today. as always i trust She’ll keep me Safe

[houndposter]

long day, bone deep exhaustion. so tired but i’m so grateful for Handler. i’m so grateful She keeps me so Safe

[houndposter]

today Handler is taking me to go run 🐕🐕🐕🐕

[houndposter]

feeling. Bad

[houndposter]

even with everything new, it hasn’t been long enough that some of my old conditioning has stopped shining through. i feel bad, She’s trying Her best. She says i’m doing well, and i believe Her. i wish i could do and be more. i’m sorry, Handler

[houndposter]

hound update: Handler taught me the new combat simulation system and She explained it so well 😁😁😁

[houndposter]

haven’t been on a sortie lately, rgghhhhh maybe i should ask Handler to take me somewhere to run

[houndposter]

hands hurt teeth hurt muzzle hurts but i’ll keep it on for Her