sorry my aesthetic is a shit show

[ur-daily-inspiration]

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

"why did your cat bite me" you pet her incorrectly. deserved

[pointnclick]

sorry i never heard of that youtuber. i only watch woodworking videos and documentaries about doomed artic explorations

[justletmescrolll]

what it’s like to own a black cat

[niyarest]

[surfandwrite]

*whispers during sex* thanks for temporarily filling my existential emptiness with ur dick

[dustsculptures]

i’m obviously right just look at my boobs

[eduardosaverin7-archive]

Not soulmates but it always had to be them and they weren't destined to be together but they were doomed to be but also it took everything for them to get here and also it was never supposed to happen but also it always was and had to happen this way. Hope this helps

[ocdnatural-deactivated20220809]

i don't ever overshare. everything i say is essential information to help u weave a rich tapestry of me in ur mind.......

[incaseyouart]

TFW you recall an intense memory from your past, remember your main quest, but then get immediately sidetracked by some shiny mushrooms

[chamacafeahorrible]

getting into the shower: evil evil evil

being in the shower: there is no past and there is no future, there is just the here and now, i am alone but i am not lonely, i am calm and one with the universe, existence is sublime

getting out of the shower: evil evil evil (wet version)

[pr1nceshawn]

Why You Should Always Wear Your Helmet.

[singerrrsongwriterrr-deactivate]

PSA: never put stickers on your helmets (unless you have checked with the manufacturer) because the adhesive can weaken the structure!

[crazy-pages]

One day my health teacher in middle school just like … didn’t show up for class. And so of course we were all “oh if he doesn’t show up in fifteen minutes we’re legally allowed to leave”, giggling about it and all the bullshit. He did eventually show up, ten minutes into the class time. He looked haggard as fuck, sweating all over, hair messed up, beaten to hell and back. We stared at him and were about to ask what in the world happened to him when he stopped in front of his desk and smacked his bicycle helmet down on it. 

His helmet had this odd discolored patch on it. Like, white against white, but … weird? It’s then that I realized his helmet didn’t have a discolored patch, it had a patch missing. A big chunk of his helmet had just been shaved away, the curve of the helmet gone and sanded flat by whatever it had been scraped against. And running through that patch, from one side of the helmet to the other, was this big crack, like the whole helmet had split like an eggshell. 

Our teacher took a couple deep panting breaths and then told our class: “And this,” he took another deep breath, “is why you always wear your helmet”. 

And that’s the story of how an entire class of middle school students took helmet-wearing very seriously for the rest of their lives. 

[healthcare-anonymous]

Wear ya damn helmet

[flewpt]

[world-of-cats]

Source

[emerys-corner]

life is just you and your one skein of really nice yarn that you can’t find The Perfect Project for against the world

[cryptidunknown]

3500 years ago a bunch of people decided to build a tower to the sky and now I have to worry about keeping up my Duolingo streak

[hell-propaganda]

why would you blame the people reaching for heaven instead of the god who cursed them

[bunjywunjy]

add that one to the list, boys

[babelien7-deactivated20150727]

the signs from most to least funny

[meta-xylene]

Yield Stop Railroad Xing Wet Floor No Parking Do Not Enter Exit Open Toll Booths Ahead Register Closed Trucks Use Low Gear School Zone