far off planets

hi i'm emma. if you need me to tag anything please let me know. she/her.

[factbot]

[despazito]

the second radish is 29 feet away

[tranarchist]

[kompanie-mutter-deactivated2021]

this is legitimately the funniest post on this site

[stroebe2]

June and July are the same months btw. They want you to think they're two different months but it's the same month that's 60 days long. Same way August is actually August and the first half of September

[rimonoroni2]

i’m always thinking about that news story where a three year old boy who wandered away from his house and ended up in the middle of the woods was found by this local great pyrenees farm dog who herded the kid back to his unrelated owners house. and the guy was like. whose kid is this

[rimonoroni2]

that dog must have been like. hmm. this isn’t a goat. some human must have left their puppy behind by accident. i have to bring this to management. surely my owner will be able to sort out whatever has occurred. that kid was like i’m all alone and scared and omg a big fluffy puppy is here to help. and that fucking farmer looking at his dog like. who’s toddler did you steal???

[humanpersonface]

I think it is very important that everyone see the good boy in question. His name is Buford.

[swordmaid]

when the root of the tragedy was love.

[chthonicillness]

my teeth were perfectly designed to tear abd rend the soft white flesh of the gentle beast known as the mozzarella

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[your-dewey-decimal-number-is]

282 and 635.965

catholicism and houseplants

[piranesies]

they should invent putting on sunscreen that doesn't feel like putting on sunscreen

[bobdylanyaoi]

[creamsicle-art]

me when therse apple slices at the function

[trans-girl-nausicaa]

The Clarifier would like to make just one more comment

[strawberry-crocodile]

for real tho it feels exhausting that ive seen this whole "woman should be allowed to abstain from X beauty standard" -> "i perform X beauty standard, am i evil? do you think im evil? please forgive me i came up with a dozen excuses 🥺" since like 2015 (and i know its been going on longer than that) like girl thats not the poiiiiint

[strawberry-crocodile]

look me in the eyes. repeat after me. "i face societal pressure to perform this beauty standard. i should not face that pressure. i conform to this standard. i am rewarded for performing to this standard. i need to respect women who do not perform this standard. this is not about whether or not i am a sinner for wearing makeup."

[fedoraspooky]

whoever's idea it was to have womens t-shirts have those tiny sleeves that go way up into the armpits must have done that maliciously

[aropride]

if your animal is lying on the floor, furniture etc, it’s important to take a picture of them. then, if they move or shift in any way, it’s important to take another picture. with this technique, you can take many pictures of your animal

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

its crazy that mr brightside is one of the best songs ever yet isnt even the best killers song

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

mr brightside comes on at the club: multiple injuries

somebody told me comes on at the club:

[dogpuppy]

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

I don't need the chatgpt random algorithm to write emails for me because I already have a custom and 100% flawless algorithm called "writing the exact same three emails with the names changed"

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

#1: "hi [landlord], hope you're doing well! [apartment thing] is [broken/a problem]. we need it [fixed/replaced/handled] by [date]. let us know when you'll send someone over so we can be here to let them in. thanks so much, [op]"

#2: "hi [professor], hope you're doing well! unfortunately, I'm [sick/stuck at work/dead] and won't be able to submit [assignment] by [due date]. could I please have an extension? if not, is there anything else I could do to make up this credit? thanks so much, [op]"

#3: "hi [customer service person], hope you're doing well! unfortunately, [product] [didn't arrive/is broken/wrong color/gave me a rash/poisoned my crops] and I'd like to receive a [refund/replacement]. here is the documentation of the order and photos of [broken thing/wrong thing/my rash/dead crops]. thanks so much, [op]"

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

"but op I work in an office I have to write way more emails than you" well that's your fault for working in an office i got nothing to do with that

[perpetualsarcasmmachine]

Writing an email is so easy and I will tell you how it's done. This is the advice is for everyone with an email job, but you can apply it to normal human interaction.

The FIRST SENTENCE is the thing you want the recipient to do. Do not make them guess.

I want to let you know about ... (This email is to inform someone of something not to ask them to do anything)

Could you please do ... (This is a request. You want them to do something).

I'm looking into x and wondering if you can help me (this is also a request but for information instead of an action).

People do not want to read an email and even if they do read it, most people are skimming and not interested. Tell them what you want first, then provide context or other information (when you need a thing is often key). If the email is informational, you can even add "you don't need to do anything, this is just to keep you informed!" People will appreciate not having to figure out what you want from them.

If you can't articulate what you want the recipient to do with the message, you are not ready to email them. I read too many emails where I have no idea what the person wants from me.

Put the most important thing first and everyone will be impressed! AI cannot do this for you because it can't tell what's important! Only you know that, which is why you must write your own emails.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

to everyone who wants help with emails: go through the notes of this post. there are ideas I've never thought of and plenty of scripts for all kinds of situations/jobs

[ohwhatagloomyshow]

do you remember why you followed prev

yes :)

no :)

Voting ended onJul 23