Amuse-douche

Bagel Bites n Worker's Rights • Former line cook • Howie/Alex • Bi enby

[recapitulation]

meal ideas!

low energy ("do not ask me to do any prep work at all, so help me god")

mozzerella cheese wrapped in pepperoni ("pizza tacos"!)

hummus and pretzels or naan (putting the naan in the microwave for like 10 seconds...heavenly)

canned chili (with shredded cheese and sour cream if you have it! boom done!)

instant miso soup (warm and lovely!)

cheese and cured meat, olives, canned fish, crackers, dried fruit, or whatever easy "charcuterie" type items you like

alternate bites of apple and spoonfulls of peanut butter (mixing honey or chocolate chips to the peanut butter is my favorite)

a "deconstructed sandwich": bites of lunch meat, pickles, cheese, cherry tomato, etc (I love roast beef and white cheddar for this)

yogurt and granola or fruit

medium energy ("I'll boil water but don't ask me to chop shit")

boiled eggs and fresh veggies (put a little salt on top of the eggs for pizzaz!)

buttered noodles (take it up to level 10 and add roasted garlic; takes 30 mins in an oven, only one swoop of the knife required)

baked potato with toppings (I like cheese, bacon, broccoli, green onion, and sour cream)

quesadilla (add some canned beans, cilantro, or avocado!)

pot roast (requires a lot of time but not a lot of actual work. I love it with peas!)

cuban sandwich (bread, swiss, pickle, mustard, ham... my favorite thing to panini-ify by far)

pan-fried tofu with scallion sauce (this sauce goes well with everything and tofu is no exception)

pancakes or waffles! (I love mine with jam)

ham, pickle, and cream cheese roll-ups

fried eggs (with toast and lots of butter...so comforting)

fruit smoothie (bananas, frozen strawberries, yogurt...or whatever!)

I hate salad but could write essays on this copycat olive garden salad (throw it in a bowl! chopping required if you use onion)

spaghetti (controversial maybe but angel hair > spaghetti noodles)

pasta salad (olives broccoli fresh mozerella... those little mini pepperonis... yeah)

high energy ("I don't mind chopping some things up!")

stuffed shells with spinach

chicken and roasted garlic (oh my god.....one of my all time favorites)

beef tacos (I like mine with cilantro and onion, and when I'm feeling especially high energy I love a tomatillo salsa)

chicken alfredo

tom kha gai (a thai soup and my absolute favorite! you just need access to galangal)

lasagna! (freezes well and then boom! low energy meal for later)

pad thai! (not as hard as you'd think, as long as you have access to tamarind paste!)

potstickers! (this is a lovely group activity if you want to cook with housemates!)

rice and beans

bang bang shrimp (ogughfhgfuh I love it. you can also do bang bang tofu!)

minestrone soup (so many nice veggies!)

fried rice (put whatever you have on hand in there! broccoli, peas, carrot, and beef is my favorite combo)

broccoli cheddar soup

spring rolls and peanut sauce

skewers (such as beef, onion, zucchini, bell pepper... you don't need a grill, oven works!)

roasted turkey with garlic parmesean asparagus

pork chop with mashed potatoes

other tips:

whenever you think of a meal you'd like to make, take 3 seconds to google search it, take a screenshot of the image results, and put it in a "food ideas" folder. instant visual menu!

if you're on instagram, there are a bajillion different recipe accounts that post videos! a few of my favorites: jipsoon_kitchen, eatwitzo, cordandthekitchen, chungeats, tiffy.cooks, two_plaid_aprons

[witchaj]

This is all great!

I got this website from a nutritionist and it’s become my absolute favorite way to find new recipes. The search filter options are fantastic! Sorting by method really helps me because I think that’s what makes the biggest difference in how much energy you need.

Visit here to search all of our posts in a comprehensive recipe index. You can find whatever you're looking for to fit your health needs her

And here are some other ideas for low/medium energy meals:

Cottage cheese with crackers, fruits and/or veggies.

Guacamole with veggies and/or tortilla chips

Chickpeas/garbanzo beans with tzatziki. You could add rice, lettuce/spinach, and/or pita.

Buffalo cauliflower with yogurt dip. You can roast or microwave the cauliflower, top it with hot sauce, and add bleu cheese or shredded cheddar on top.

[hobbular]

Friend of mine was submitting a job application and discovered that they REQUIRED a photo:

We’re trying to decide which of these is a better option:

or

[nowlander]

[bioluminescent-fungus]

affirmations when opening a stuck jar:

I am stronger than the jar

⁠⁠I know what left and right are

⁠⁠smashing the jar will make a mess

⁠⁠I have strong and dextrous hands

⁠⁠I have opened jars before and I will open jars again

[howie-horsdoeuvres]

If all else fails, the floor or a hammer is stronger than the jar, and I am a tool-using primate with a big brain.

[rockybloo]

Who's the best cook between Nana and Jack?

Nana because her dad made sure she could always feed herself no matter where she is at.

Jack CAN cook but Nana makes meals that keep you well fed while Jack's is typically good in the moment but you get hungry again a little after.

I guess it's easier to say that Nana could give you three whole courses while Jack can only give you one.

[womanaction]

one of the best sentences I've read on Wikipedia

[evergreendrip]

[gasolineweirdo]

so awesome how there's an animal called a gooey duck & it's spelled geoduck for some reason & it's a humongous clam for some reason

[hotvampireadjacent]

[what-even-is-thiss]

The reason your snacks are unsatisfying is that you need both carb and protein.

Carb starts your engine, protein keeps it going.

No carb, engine don’t start. No protein, engine dies out fast.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Easy carb add on:

Cookie

Fruit (canned or fresh)

Chips

Piece of bread

Popcorn

Crackers

Easy protein add on:

Nuts

Spoonful of nut butter

Cheese

Roasted chickpea snacks

Glass of milk (dairy or non dairy)

Small canned sausages or similar

[what-even-is-thiss]

Sugar in there.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

[howie-horsdoeuvres]

Milk is also both! Lactose is one of many sugars, and milk also contains a lot of protein because it has to do double duty and start baby engine and keep it running! Which is probably why a pb&j with a glass of milk hits the spot every time.

[nimrochan]

@ Jumblr/Jewblr what flavor is this and why is there a gay(?) cow on it

[misguidedandperplexed]

Text below the cow is "crunch", then above the speech bubble it says "smores style". Speech bubble text says "We will meet at the bonfire, who will bring a guitar?"

I do not know why the cow is queer.

[snissel613]

reblog to have s’mores around the campfire with the trans cow

[pangur-and-grim]

it is weird that celiac stuff has become part of the 'culture war'. because it's literally just a medical thing.... I get super anemic unless I cut a certain protein out of my diet, because it bulldozes the villi in my intestines. but if I post about it, right-wingers send me gore images. I guess you can't expect shitty people to be logical, but I've even heard lefty people make fun of gluten stuff, and it's like why are you mad about this??? why are you pissed off that I'm eating bread that doesn't taste as good so that I can have blood in my body? it's so morally neutral.

[ms-demeanor]

I'm sorry, I know you weren't actually looking for an explanation but I always have a rant about this locked and loaded.

As far as I can tell the reasons that this happens are:

The interpretation of disability accommodation as wokeness - a lot of the same people who are shitty about food limitations are also shitty about sign language interpreters and ramp requirements (also building regulations relating to the latter) because they view any accommodation as capitulation to a group they think should "suck it up and deal with it" (quietly exist without named or obvious accommodations). The conversations around peanut-free or milk-free classrooms to accommodate children with allergies are similarly unhinged and possibly more horrifying.

Conflating specialty diets as a result of proximity in the popular consciousness - you're a lot more likely to see something described as "vegan + gluten free" or to see vegan/vegetarian/g-free options grouped on menus than you are to see keto/vegan/gfree options so the "lefty" animal-free diets get grouped with gluten-free (it's also interesting that there are right-wing diets, and I wonder how many of these people remember when you used to be able to find "atkins-friendly" symbols on casual dining restaurant menus)

Gluten free diets became a fad fifteen years ago; tons of people read "Wheat Belly" and stopped eating wheat as a weight loss hack and when they went back to eating wheat because it's actually pretty difficult to get around a major staple grain they didn't experience any negative consequences; people saw this and basically think that it's a trend, that people are faking medically necessary diets as part of a fad. When questioned about this they always go "but, I mean, it's okay if you REALLY need to skip the wheat because you have a condition but most people are doing it because it's popular" when g-free diets haven't been a major trend for quite a while now. TO BE QUITE FAIR, I think that things like "Gluten Aware" cookies and beer and such, which contain a little gluten but not NO gluten contribute to this perception (these have annoyed me forever for two reasons: 1. They make people without celiac think that a little gluten is fine for people with celiac, which it is not; 2. fucking commit, companies. *I* want the cookies and beer and it's deeply annoying that these business will go to the lengths to create products with minimal gluten but won't actually make g-free foods - this is often because of the risk of cross contamination, they won't claim to make g-free things because they won't work with a dedicated g-free facility)

Anyway, in conclusion: it sucks, I'm sorry.

The fun flipside of this is that I've seen people who are more right wing become aggressively pro regulation and pro accommodation when they or their family members have to suddenly take on the individual burden of making up for a society that doesn't include them by default.

[ms-demeanor]

US specific:

Is your ham made with vinegar? Does your ham have the generic word "spices" on the ingredient list? Does your ham include "smoke flavoring"? Does your ham include caramel coloring?

Because malt vinegar has gluten in it. "Spices" may include wheat products in a mix. Smoke flavoring may be made with barley flour. Caramel coloring may be made with wheat or barley syrup.

If the label says "gluten free" that means that the "spices," caramel coloring, vinegar, and smoke flavor are certified to contain 20ppm or less of gluten.

If the ham is cured in any way, it may include gluten. If the ham was marinated, it probably includes gluten. If the ham was prepared in a facility that processes wheat in any way, it might be cross contaminated with gluten.

There's a company out there called "Gluten Free Water" that makes water in plastic bottles, poking fun at the idea that too many things have a gluten free label. I fucking hate that company. Because that company is functionally saying "lol, people are so sensitive and over the top about this, let's be a little silly and laugh about how crazy people can be with their 'gluten free' nonsense."

Did you know that there are sustainable food containers and straws that contain wheat? And that you don't have to label them? There are definitely people with celiac who have been sickened by biodegradable plastic straws in their "obviously water is gluten free there's no risk here" water.

"It's over-labeled so it looks trendy" just means you don't know how foods are made or what foods contain gluten. Gluten is ridiculously common in foods in general, and also in packaged meats.

Your ham has to say gluten free because it distinguishes it from the hams that do contain gluten, which is a fucking lot of them. And you're annoyed that your ham has to say gluten free and I'm annoyed that I'm standing in the grocery store calling a ham company to figure out where they source their caramel coloring so I can figure out if the damned ham is safe to eat.

"lol, oats don't have wheat in them, are people so stupid that they have to be told what is and isn't wheat? why does this oatmeal have a gluten free label?" Cross contamination; gluten free oats are not grown near wheat and are not processed in facilities that process wheat.

"lol, rice doesn't have wheat in it, why is this rice labeled gluten free, all rice is gluten free" Cross contamination; the rice isn't processed on equipment that processes wheat.

"lol why does this turkey breast say gluten free, it's just fucking turkey" read the ingredients on your "just" turkey, lots of packaged meat is packed in broth, some of which contains modified food starch, which may contain wheat.

"lol why are these strawberries labeled gluten free? they're fucking strawberries" WAX, BUDDY. SOME FRUITS ARE COATED IN PRESERVATIVE WAX FILMS BY THE MANUFACTURER AND SOME OF THOSE FUCKING FILMS CONTAIN GLUTEN.

I think that part of the reason that people are so irritated by g-free labels is because it exposes them to just how vast and alienating their food systems are.

"Ham should just be meat from a pig, maybe with sugar and salt; what on earth is happening that there might be wheat in that process? Nothing in that process should involve wheat." And then you might have to think about it for a second, might have to wonder what "sugar" and "salt" mean when someone is producing a million hams to be delivered thousands of miles away. It's not just sugar and salt; it's preservatives and nitrates and batch cooking and getting corn syrup instead of sugar and getting smoke flavoring instead of smoking the ham and turning your "whole food" into all the ingredients that make up the ingredients that make up the ingredients.

A "gluten free" label says "you can eat this" to somebody with celiac disease, who has already pounded their skull against the shittiness of the medical system and the food system.

But to someone who doesn't have to worry that their food is going to disable them, a "gluten free" sticker on ham takes a known quantity and turns their sandwich into a hyperobject that contains animal agriculture and industrial additive production and shipping pollution and the ongoing assault on regulation.

If it doesn't have the label, you can just eat your lunch. If it does have the label, you are haunted by the specter of RFK junior imploding the FDA.

Turns out that everyone in the US with celiac is already constantly haunted by the possible implosion of the FDA because food regulation is an up-close and personal part of our daily lives that most people would rather not think about.

[chazzaroo47]

As someone with corn based issues my sickness levels are a recession indicator.

I can tell when companies are cost cutting because they start using corn sugar or maize starch as a bulking sweetener and it makes me incredibly fucking ill. Are they kind enough to put a "new recipe" label on it? Sometimes! Only fucking sometimes. A bunch of times I discover it when my stomach is trying to exist my body in aggressive, stabby maneuvers. It sucks.

And people will literally laugh at it and pretend it's no problem that they don't know why every yoghurt in the shop has cornflour in it rather than real fruit. Or their meat is all preserved with corn to make it look good for longer.

People have no idea what is in their food unless they have to have.

And even that can end up down weird pipelines of "crunchy mums" and conspiracies about plastic rice. It's so tiring man.

[vaspider]

Oh man, I fucking hate the "unlabeled new recipe" bullshit. I am so grateful that my wife is ever-vigilant and realized that our old go-to brand of molé sauce no longer had the tiny text reading "gluten-free" where she was used to seeing it on the front of the jar, because they'd changed their recipe and put wheat flour in it.

She literally clocked the change in the label — it wasn't marked as changed, she just noticed that the "gf" label was gone — and that was enough for her to flip the jar over and check.

I gotta say that the most infuriating recipe change I've had to deal with was when a company started using "barley syrup" instead of their previous HFCS, which is how I suddenly started sweating and whimpering from drinking frozen lemonade.

"Lemonade is always gluten-free, it's stupid for them to label that shit!"

lmao ok bud

Anyway, solidarity. This shit sucks.

[doberbutts]

(Also celiac disease is twice as likely in those from Jewish descent than literally any other ethnic group so there is some association with Jews and antisemitism going on here tbh)

[lesbianswift]

FOOD DISCOURSE: reblog with ur opinions on guacamole, olives, mango, hummus, tomatoes, and cannolis

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[canwriteitbetterthanueverfeltit]

hey, tag this with a food people get really upset about you not liking

[headspace-hotel]

I used to be an incredibly picky eater and now I have a varied diet, strange thing is, there are few foods that I used to hate and now like.

I still hate most of the foods that I wouldn't eat as a kid. Almost all the variation in my diet came from trying foods I wasn't exposed to as a kid.

In fact, there are lots of foods I would force myself to eat as a kid that I don't bother with anymore because I don't like them

advice to parents of kids who are picky eaters is maybe try foods that are outside of your immediate cultural context

[headspace-hotel]

lentils were a game changer for me

[headspace-hotel]

yet another example of the "just force yourself to endure discomfort" philosophy of life that is relentlessly popular

"you have to stop being a picky eater and learn to tolerate new foods..."

gagging is extremely stressful. it is such an intensely, sharply unpleasant experience with the added stress of trying not to spit your mouthful of food all over yourself/the table. The sweating and heart palpitations of trying to force down a swallow of something that is viscerally repulsing you is an exquisitely negative feeling. My palms are sweating just thinking about it.

This experience can cause novelty itself to cause fear and apprehension. Just the prospect of eating something unfamiliar can cause fear and nausea, because past experiences were so incredibly negative

now, the physiological effect of fear is that it suppresses the activity of the digestive system. this deadens your appetite and makes it more likely that eating will make you feel sick. So the negative experience is compounded

but on a milder level, the depression of simply not enjoying food is very negative for your life. I can say confidently that the low quality of cafeteria food at my college increased my day to day depression. eating is one of life's pleasures and when it becomes a repulsive chore, that builds a slow resentment of being alive

therefore, it is not good to force yourself to eat things you do not like, instead it is better to cultivate greater curiosity and adventurousness regarding foods you may have never been exposed to before. importantly, you must do it in a safe enviroment because before you can enjoy food you have to undo all the negative experiences of being forced to eat food you hate

cooking recipes for yourself can be a good way to do that because it is creative and active which gives a sense of playfulness which leads to power and agency

do not try new things in social gathering where there is pressure from other people

foraging and gardening is incredibly helpful because the food is fresh and there is a great sense of security and connectedness in it. you know where the food comes from you know that it is good you know it came from the earth beneath your feet. eating something right off the plant is an experience that unlocks your inquisitive and animalistic side instead of making you feel pressures and stresses from social expectation.

You feel like an animal trying to bite something investigating whether it is food. Does a wild animal get yelled at when it bites something that is not edible and spits it out? of course not.

Also once you have had positive experiences eating things from outside your instincts tend to be more accessible to you. humans in the modern world are taught that outside things are not for eating, generally, so they silence the instinct that urges them to eat plants.

Personally i think this is a big part of many aversions to vegetables, if you are told that leaves outside are all poison and bad, it is hard to turn off that apprehension with a leaf on your plate. but if you experience eating plants that grow out of the ground in the world around you, that can awaken that instinct toward plants as food again

i also have been known to buy a new fruit I've never experienced before and sit on the floor on a towel and puzzle through how to eat it, intentionally tuning in to all the sensory aspects of that experience

[headspace-hotel]

my food tolerance also fluctuates depending on my sensory budget, when ive had a lot of overwhelm i can eat a lot fewer things but that's okay

[captain-price-returns]

[kuttithevangu]

OK I keep seeing people refer to the Michigan parasite outbreak and then others will chime in “it’s in my state too!” so to clarify this for everyone it is a NATIONWIDE outbreak reported in 31 US states as of today, July 12th 2026. There is no reason to assume it is not present in the rest of them

Cyclospora, the ‘Explosive Diarrhea’ Parasite, Cases Reported in at Least 31 States: See the Map

NBC News’ tally shows at least 26 states have reported cases of the parasitic stomach illness, as health authorities race to find the source

[kuttithevangu]

The CDC is tracking cases but they are significantly lagging behind the states on numbers (their data is weeks behind) so it’s probably going to be most effective to check your individual state’s infectious disease tracking.

This is a parasite that usually causes about 3000 cases of illness per year in the USA, Michigan currently has reported about 2900 (the confusion about “Michigan outbreak” is because Michigan is the first that caught an uptick in cases and has been very proactive about trying to trace them). Last official update from Massachusetts was 18 cases here centered in Greater Boston. The CDC recommends NOT assuming there are no sources of the parasite in your state even if no cases have been reported.

It isn’t an unknown illness but it is an unusual quantity of cases, and the fact that they haven’t been able to pin down the source after weeks of tracking is what makes it particularly concerning this year (harder to contain).

Wash your hands, wash your produce, cook it ideally, and advocate for farm workers to have access to safe and hygienic toilet facilities