How to Care for Your Human

Over two-hundred years old, born in France, discovering the challenges of dating a human {Written by katydraws.tumblr.com & skyshells.tumblr.com }

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Did you know there is a service like bark box, but for humans??

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There are now more ways than ever that your human will need looking after. Remember face coverings still need to be breathable. Plastic wrap, for example, is not a good alternative.

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If you need something to do while your human gets their necessary hours of sleep, consider learning to sew. It's a great way to spend time and you can preserve that handsome waistcoat from your own human days.

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2020 seemed an appropriate time to rise from my coffin and reclaim this blog.

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Can’t eat food for the holidays? Host a friendsgiving anyways!

(via howtocareforyourhuman)

For the company! Do not eat the guests!

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Can't eat food for the holidays? Host a friendsgiving anyways!

[wynnesdjfhsjfhskdjfhsk-deactiva]

*vampire voice* my love… how do i preheat the oven

[weenkinks]

Only vampires can see this post

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It's just so adorable when humans try using their teeth on you.

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Apparently it is perfectly acceptable for humans to make jokes about your age, but you are not allowed to respond in kind."

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Christmas party at my place! Do you like eggnog?

Unfortunately I cannot drink it, but I do know someone else who might (;

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As the season gets colder, try to remember not to throw your human out of doors without a coat, even if they deserve it.

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Halloween Tip: Making scary vampire faces at bratty children when they ask for candy might be a little bit too mean.

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Halloween Tip #8: Coming home covered in fake blood seems to have three possible outcomes: 1) Your human has a mild fright and you both laugh afterwards. 2) Your human has a heart attack. 3) A concerning amount of indifference.

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Halloween Tip #7: Rely on scent before sight at parties, most of that blood is fake and humans find it embarrassing if you cause any kind of scene.

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Halloween Tip #6: As long as you put animal ears or a hat on your human, anything can be a costume!

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Halloween Tip #5: Try bringing costumes into the bedroom. It's a great way to try something new without testing your human's physical endurance.