Ramblin' man

and when it's time for leaving I hope you understand that I was born a rambling man

[howyouseemexjames]

smokewallssolitarymirrors:

Emily looked at him, exasperated. Boy, they really had changed “What else do you want me to say, Joziah? I told you I’m sorry and that I’m going to fix it. “ Her words were heavy, serious, slightly annoyed. She had hoped in her mind that if they had seen each other again it would go very differently than this but no. This was reality and she had to face it.

Joziah sighed, still annoyed. He understood that Emily was sorry, but he didn’t understand why she’d said anything to Brooks in the first place. “I get that you’re sorry, but I get to be frustrated about this. What you did isn’t alright, and it doesn’t really seem like you realize the gravity of it.” 

[howyouseemexjames]

smokewallssolitarymirrors:

“And that was three years ago.” Emily still couldn’t bring herself to look at him, instead looking to the side “We’ve both changed since then.” Of course Emily felt like shit for accidentally revealing who he was to Brooks, and she knew she could just change his memories next time he was around her, but she still felt like she was the biggest piece of shit in the world for letting it slip. “I’m sorry, okay? It won’t happen again, I know it can’t happen again. But I know, at the least, Brooks wouldn’t tell anyone, and he won’t until I can get it out of his memory.” She didn’t even think Joziah might not know of her powers, it’s not as if she had told him. 

"Of course we both changed, but I thought at the very least what we had together meant enough to you that I could trust you with this. Seems like that was my mistake.” He sighed, rubbing his temple the way he always did when he was frustrated. “He won’t tell anyone? I’m not sure what blurting it out when surrounded by other people qualifies as not telling anyone in your book, because that’s what he did.”

[brooksmontgomery]

“Look, dude. I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted. It wasn’t my finest moment, nor was I in a great mindset for being out in public by any means. You’re secret is honestly safe with me.”

@howyouseemexjames

[howyouseemexjames]

“Forgive me if the fact that a stranger says they’ll keep my secret doesn’t ease my mind much. Emily never should have told you.”

[howyouseemexjames]

brooksmontgomery:

“Don’t plan on it. Outing you isn’t really something that’s on my mind right now.” He didn’t really care enough about the guy to want to spread his secret or whatever it seemed to be. “Just don’t up and leave her again without saying anything.”

“Well, if you don’t mind a quick 101 on secret keeping, the first step is not blurting it out when you’re quite literally, in a line of people,” James says, his voice still low. He looks around and mutters, “well I’m not hungry anymore,” before leaving the line, walking away at a fast pace.

[howyouseemexjames]

smokewallssolitarymirrors: 

“What, would you rather have her stay at your place? I’m sure that won’t draw any more attention.” Emily retorted, though it wasn’t that sassy as she could have been “I don’t know, we could always say you’re babysitting, and it’s not unusual for friends to go to each other’s places.” She tried to reason, desperately wanting this to work out, wanting this to all work out, especially seeing how Lucy was around him, she looked like it would be the end of the world if she was taken out of his arms. “She loves you so much.”

Joziah sighed, “like I said, you’re her mother and I just entered her life again, as much as I would love to have this little angel with me all the time she should stay with you. We can run with the babysitter story though, that’s pretty smart.” He smiled at her, holding the toddler close to his chest. 

[howyouseemexjames]

smokewallssolitarymirrors:

Despite the distraught look on her face, Emily wasn’t one to cry, she never was, but with how everything was going the urge to was there, but she didn’t. She had to be mature. “I’m sorry, okay, I was having a panic attack and you know how I just, ramble when I’m like that.” Emily couldn’t get herself to look at him, feeling so ashamed. He had trusted her. “I, I can erase it from his memory next time I see him.”

A small part of him wanted to hug her and say it was alright, but this was a serious matter, and he couldn’t allow himself to act on old feelings. “I know,” he said instead, when she told him about her panic attack ramblings, “but I used to be able to trust you.” 

[howyouseemexjames]

smokewallssolitarymirrors: 

“I know, but she’s your daughter too, you should be spending time with her, I want her to know who you are, in case anything happens and you have to leave again.” She looked back at him, a smile wasn’t quite there, her expression more serious. It had slipped her mind that he wasn’t Joziah here, he was James. Even in the short time they were around each other again she had fallen into the old routine. “The gossip paper has already been spreading rumors about us.” Emily looked down, knowing it was silly that she even read them but she couldn’t help it. When Lucy cuddled against Joziah, as if it were the most comfortable spot on the planet she looked up again at them.

Joziah nodded, “She’ll know who I am, won’t you girl?” The last part was directed at Lucy. He wasn’t too concerned with what the gossip paper has said so far, but he was definitely keeping an eye on it. “I don’t know what people would think if they saw me locking myself in here though.” 

[howyouseemexjames]

smokewallssolitarymirrors:

It took her a second to realize who he was talking about when Joziah said your friend. “He talked about it?” Emily looked away from him, crossing her arms across her chest as she did when she was feeling defensive, confused, small. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t think..”

“Yes, he did. As if he was talking about the weather.” He sighed, running his hand through his hair. “I didn’t think isn’t good enough, Emily. I thought I could trust you with this, I put my life in your hands and you just ran and told some guy, clearly without making sure he understood how important it is to keep this secret a secret!” 

[howyouseemexjames]

smokewallssolitarymirrors:

“What?” Emily looked at him, confused, especially seeing how serious he was, she wasn’t completely sure what he was getting at as she had told Brooks at a very difficult moment for her, she didn’t even remember if she had told him or if he had seen it from her memories, the past few weeks, well, months were a blur to her. “What are you talking about? Why would I tell anyone?”

"Then why did your friend talk openly about it in public?” Joziah asked, looking at her with a stern look. “I am serious about this stuff, Emily. I am not playing around, my actual life depends on keeping my identity secret. I like this place, I’d like to be able to stay.” 

[howyouseemexjames]

smokewallssolitarymirrors:

“I thought she would grow up never knowing who you were.” Emily said softly, crossing her arms over her chest. Watching the two of them, she could see the admiration in his eyes. “I.. I thought, if you want, I could give you a key to this place so you can see her whenever you want, if you wanted that.” She began rambling. She didn’t know what he wanted at all, they hadn’t really talked in over 2 years, she knew both of them had changed.

Joziah looked back at Emily. “That is a very nice offer,” he said, a happy smile on his face. “You are her mother though, I won’t come see her without talking to you about it, you’re still in charge here.” Besides, it would be difficult to explain if someone saw him locking himself into Emily’s place. 

[howyouseemexjames]

@smokewallssolitarymirrors

“Emily, we need to talk.” Joziah looked at her, a serious expression on his face. “I told you, in no uncertain terms that it is vital that no one knows who I am. You remember that, right?” 

[howyouseemexjames]

smokewallssolitarymirrors:

Emily couldn’t help but smile at the way Joziah talked to their daughter, and the way she reacted. Lucy stared up at him, eyes wide as he talked to her. She was almost 3, she did understand a lot of the words being said. But the kicker was when he was done talking, she called him dada. Emily nearly choked on nothing, shocked that Lucy could possibly remember him.

Joziah’s heart melted, hearing the little girl call him dada. “That’s right my dear, I’m your dada, and I’m so happy to see you again. We’re going to have so much fun together sweetheart.” He kissed her forehead gently, and smiled down at her. 

[howyouseemexjames]

brooksmontgomery:

“Right,” he said slowly, his head nodding once. “Emily’s baby daddy.”

“I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about,” James said, looking around them. Then he added in a much lower voice, “don’t go around saying that in public.” 

[howyouseemexjames]

brooksmontgomery:

“Thanks, man.” Brooks looked over the man’s face, feeling as if he recognized him. “We’ve met before, right?”

“Briefly,” James said, smiling slightly. “Just right after I got here. The name’s James.” 

[brooksmontgomery]

“If all the ham is gone by the time I get to the front of this line, there will be hell to pay.”

[howyouseemexjames]

“Noted,” James said, turning to the man behind him in line. “I won’t touch the ham if there’s little left.” 

[howyouseemexjames]

smokewallssolitarymirrors: 

Feeling something tugging at her heartstrings when she saw him start to tear up, Emily couldn’t help but sigh a little. This is what she always wanted, the three of them to be together as a family, but that’s not what this was. Walking up to Joziah, Emily watched as the little girl reached out for him. Maybe she did remember him “Do you want to hold her?”

Joziah smiled, seeing his daughter reach out to him. “I’d love to,” he said, reaching out himself and taking the toddler from Emily’s arms. “Wow, you’re heavier than I remember,” he chuckled, “I’m really looking forward to getting to know you again sweetie, you’re such a precious little girl.”

[howyouseemexjames]

smokewallssolitarymirrors: 

When he knocked on the door, Emily stood up, putting Lucy on her hip, looking over at him as he entered. When was the last time the three of them were together? About two years, which hurt Emily’s heart so much. As far as she knew, Lucy didn’t know he’d been gone, she didn’t know how much she remembered about everyone she was around. “Joziah…” Emily swallowed thickly “This is your daughter, she’s a bit bigger than last time you saw her..” She wasn’t completely sure what to say, but she held her close as the toddler leaned her head against her shoulder.

Joziah nodded, looking at the child. “She’s beautiful,” he said. He’d never believed he’d get to see her again, but there she was. “Hi kiddo, it’s good to see you again. I’ve missed you tons, dear.” He had tears in his eyes at this point. It was so overwhelming to finally get to see her after trying so hard to put her behind him.