𝐌𝐑. 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐄

SINGER & TAMBO ROCKSTAR · HUBBY TO SEXY WIFEY · TWIN DAD · BEST JOBRO               || rp purposes only — penned by jaq ||

[hqjoej]

glamzef​:

Well yeah, I know it, but I still like to hear it sometimes! It’s like I know my name, but it’s nice when somebody says it, you know? 

Alright, you’ve got a great ass, Zachary David Alexander, man with too many names. Now you compliment my eyebrows, it’s only fair.

[hqjoej]

glamzef​:

You’ve gotta tell me I’ve got a nice ass and go adventuring with me. 

You’ve had the best ass since 2006 and you know it, Zefs, quit playin’. 

[hqjoej]

@sofiacarson: imagine being a tampa fan 😳

@joejonas: 🤮🤮🤮 @sofiacarson

[hqjoej]

glamreynolds​:

It was the best experience to bring Miss Daria Pool to the drag ball, I’ve had so much now, but now I’ve got all songs stuck in my head that were played there. I even found glitter on places I haven’t put any glitter but I had the time of my life. Did you had a great time or if you weren’t there did you did something fun? @theglamliststarters​

Oh I was there. I wasn’t about to miss it for shit. Miss Daria Pool was the hottest there, hands down. You’ll have to teach me the art of drag for next year’s Pride week.

[hqjoej]

tayalisonswifty​:

this week, i realized i have a real problem with ordering food. i feel this week, maybe last as well, i ordered out too many times. i’m not proud of myself, but at the same time i have no regrets. tell me i’m not alone. also, do you prefer to order out, get fast food yourself or have a home-cooked meal? also who else is excited for ‘red (taylor’s version)’? - @theglamliststarters​

I don’t think I’ve ever stayed under my monthly budget for ordering takeout or eating out. Why don’t I just allocate more money per month for takeout? No idea, I’m not that smart. Honestly, Tay...I’m just excited for the rereleases - which have been epic so far, by the way - to be focused on someone other than me. I already have my wife constantly singing all the songs you wrote about me while she’s walking around our house. Good thing they’re such bangers.

[hqjoej]

What’s a guy gotta do to get back on Zefron’s radar, huh? We used to be best buddies and now we’re not...I wish you would tell me whyyyyyy. || @glamzef​

[hqjoej]

📲 ⇢ 𝖏𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖕𝖍.

Nick: No, I meant you have experience dealing with pregnant women since your wife gave birth to your children, smartass.

Nick: And no.. Again. I don’t know any other women that are pregnant. But yes, that’s who I’m talking about. The thing is, though, I don’t know exactly what I did wrong except show her that I care about her and and that I wanted to spend time with her, and she got upset with me for that? I don’t understand.

Joe: I mean, you know how Sel was when she was knocked up...she wanted to throw me off a cliff for breathing in the same room as her 😂 so both statements are actually correct.

Joe: Pregnancy hormones can make shit go wild in an instant, okay? Things that wouldn't normally upset her could very well do so. Walk me through exactly what happened or what you said to show her you liked spending time with her.

[hqjoej]

📲 ⇢ 𝖏𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖕𝖍.

Nick: Joe? I hope I’m not waking you, but I’m losing my mind... Again.

Nick: I think I really fucked up a good friendship I had. I don’t know what to do.

Nick: I unintentionally upset a pregnant woman and I’m freaking out because I didn’t mean to at all. I figured since you have experience with it, you’d give some good advice. I tried everything I could and it’s not working.

Joe: Nah, I'm up, Nicky.

Joe: I have experience, what, pissing off pregnant women? hahaha nah, okay, what exactly did you do? And are we talking about Leigh Anne? Or are there other women with child that you're hanging around bothering?

[hqjoej]

𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐠. ✉️ 𝐦𝐫 + 𝐦𝐫𝐬 𝐣𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬 💕

sel: wow... you must really love me

sel: just give me the 'poor unfortunate souls' mv look ONCE and i'll never torture you again... maybe

joe: will the flat iron be able to iron out the face wrinkles that were nonexistent back in 2006 too? 💀

[hqjoej]

𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐠. ✉️ 𝐦𝐫 + 𝐦𝐫𝐬 𝐣𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬 💕

sel: you're breaking my heart bubs... but i get it ig

joe: stop it. you know damn well wifey gets whatever she wants so if my luscious locks being extremely heat damaged does it for you, hand me the iron and let's rock and roll.

[hqjoej]

𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐠. ✉️ 𝐦𝐫 + 𝐦𝐫𝐬 𝐣𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬 💕

sel: i miss the fringe. bring it back

sel: STOP i love you

joe: but i swore i'd never touch another flat iron until the day i die...

[hqjoej]

𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐠. ✉️ 𝐦𝐫 + 𝐦𝐫𝐬 𝐣𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬 💕

sel: happy camp rock day bubs

sel: still crazy that i could've been yours back then if i didn't turn down mitchie

joe: happy camp rock day. i'm just not gonna think about the fact that it's 13 years old.

joe: i'll love demi forever but you as mitchie woulda changed my entire world for the better.

[hqjoej]

𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐠. ✉️ 𝐦𝐫 + 𝐦𝐫𝐬 𝐣𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬 💕

sel: ****papi 👅

sel: of course we will. we actually already planned on sneaking into your suitcase and going with anyways

joe: you know i can't call myself papi without gagging a little. it's only sexy when you do it.

joe: all 3 of you in the one? papi's gotta get a bigger suitcase 👅

[hqjoej]

📲 ⇢ 𝖏𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖕𝖍.

Nick: Oh, fuck off. This is why I should've went to Kevin for advice because I knew you'd just laugh at me. 🙄

Nick: Not even my acting skills could save me from this encounter, I think. This is driving me crazy and I'm gonna be thinking about it all summer until the LA show in October. 😩

Joe: Okay no no, I'm sorry. I'm just imagining myself in the same situation and laughing through the awkwardness.

Joe: Wait. This isn't happening til OCTOBER? Bro, don't torture yourself over this for four and a half months!

[hqjoej]

📲 ⇢ 𝖏𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖕𝖍.

Nick: Okay, maybe I’m just being a little dramatic about it, but.

Nick: The guy I hooked up with after the BBMAs after-party asked me if we could all meet his daughter because she’s a huge fan. And wants to come out to a show this summer. And of course, I said yes because that’s just the kind of person I am.

Nick: But how am I supposed to look at his daughter and not think about her dad fucking me, point blank? This is the most awkward shit ever. And don’t you even dare think about laughing because it’s not funny. 😩

Joe: I...I'm sorry, I'm laughing a little, just a little. I guess it's time to put those acting chops to work 😂 If she's a Joe girl, I'm happy to be a buffer for you haha

[hqjoej]

manuphailees​:

I definitely think I have a shopping problem, I can’t seem to stop buying clothes and it’s actually becoming a problem now. Anyone know of ways I can stop this and actually restrain myself? As I do not need any more clothes or shoes but still keep buying them. @theglamliststarters​

You want dramatic but effective? Cut all your credit cards into confetti and flush it down the toilet. It’s still doable with Apple Pay and shit but it would make it just a little more inconvenient, right? It’s crazy but it could help break your nasty addiction, Haiz.

[hqjoej]

𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐠. ✉️ 𝐦𝐫 + 𝐦𝐫𝐬 𝐣𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬 💕

sel: uhm....

sel: who said you could leave us? 💔🥺

joe: papa's gotta go get that bread, baby! but you'll be able to come out and bring the babies for a visit, right?