el

21 cw: 81 gw1: 75 gw2: 65 had an ed since 17

[hugeginger]

Just purged a lunch that host me 10$. Couldnt get everything up and i feel so useless

[ethernalpetite]

Did anyone else go through a random recovery where your mental health just improved in general which allowed you to kick your ED mentality to the curb and see through body dysmorphia but then gained a decent amount of weight making you unhappy with your body and reverting back to ED habits even though you don’t have the same obsession anymore and now feel like you don’t really have an ED anymore because it’s not that bad you just have disordered eating and also kinda wish your mental health would just fuck up so you could at least go back to being a real Anorexic/bulimic ect. Because boy this feels shit and confusing and I really do feel like I’m faking it now.

[hugeginger]

Egg and Avocado Toast 458 calories

Toast: 222

Avocado: 134

Egg: 75

Sriracha mayo: 26

Could have used other toast for lower calories, but it was all I had at home. Breakfast/lunch for today.

[skinimln]

Everytime you go to give into the urges of hunger Imagine

-sitting without belly rolls

-being asked to sit in the middle seat because your the smallest

-being able to get piggyback rides

-the way your clothes will fit

-being someones hallway crush

-having a thigh gap

[hugeginger]

ive had 1079 calories today, 720 from just a bottle of wine :)

i’m doing great thanks

[cocoflokka]

I want to:

• count my ribs again

• be told “please gain weight“

• be the skinny legend

• express myself through stunning clothes

• experience this feeling of running on empty

• feel my true self that is skinny!

☆彡☆彡☆彡

[hugeginger]

i want to go back to this again

[trouxbledprincess]

My personal 'calorie bank' system!!!

When I have a set number of calories I'm allowed per day which I'm allowed to consume, I do this thing where I have a calorie bank and anytime I eat, I take away those calories from my bank. It's quite simple, I'm sure other people do this too, I just like to make it cute hehe.

I do this in this this weight loss diary app and I have a daily allowance for calories which I will add onto my current number of saved calories.

For example: my daily calorie paycheck: 200kcal. calories in bank: 0

If I ate 140 calories that day then I would then have 60 calories in my bank. And then the next day, I would get my default of 200 calories but if I wanted I would have 60 calories extra!

But If I ate 150 calories that day and I didn't need the spare cals I would then have 90 calories in my bank and if I kept that up I could save A LOT.

This rlly motivates me to eat less and it gives me an extra push to get through the binge urges because I know if I binge I'll waste all my hard earned calories on crap when I could go out and treat myself instead.

_______________________________________________

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ I hope I explained this right! This isn't important but honestly this works rlly well for me and gives me so much motivation and makes me feel a little less like death. I was excited to share lol

[proana5heree]

[kendalsroy]

THE NEON DEMON (2016) dir. Nicolas Winding Refn

[artfilmaesthetics]

a film a day.

day ten | ‘the neon demon’ (2016), dir. nicolas winding refn

letterboxd rating: ✭ ✭ ✭ ✭

[hugeginger]

i’m trying to get back, here is a little snack i made

70g peaches - 27 calories

20g almonds - 120 calories

[hugeginger]

my bmi is 33,27. I wanna kms so bad

[hugeginger]

had 638 calories today. already feeling weak and im nervous for tomorrow. i have my meals pretty much planned out, not going over 700 calories. im going to a dinner on Thursday and im trying to save up some calories for then. I’m gonna try to purge that dinner but just to be safe im saving up

[hugeginger]

May 25th 2023

Had my first meal at about 12 when i woke up.

- A cracker with creme cheese and some grapes, 160 calories

Then my boyfriend came home and made me eat lunch.

- frozen pre packed red curry chicken, 479 calories

Made dinner around 6

- chicken salad, 191 calories

then I just had a packet of frozen blackberries for dessert

- 250g blackberries, 150 calories

Total calories: 980 calories

[hugeginger]

so, i woke up at 7 today. my boyfriend went to uni and i stayed in bed until now, 12. Im absolutely wrecked and I can’t move. I need to eat. If I didn’t work tonight I wouldnt mind, but I simply can’t walk to work and do all my chores like this. Fuck.

[hugeginger]

Ive stayed under 1000 calories for 4 days now.

Sunday: 943

Monday: 787

Tuesday: 871

today: 450

I feel okay. Hungry from time to time but nothing too much to handle. I almost feel like I’ve been miscalculating because of how easy it feels. I’ve been staying strong when offered treats. Doing good so far. I’m going to a festival this weekend so I’ll be drinking. My overall goal right now is staying under 1200 calories, so I have a lot of calories stored for Saturday. Weight this morning was 83. Going down and I’m feeling good.

[hugeginger]

19/5 23

i have officially started b/p again. i’ve been free for over a year. i’ve gained 25 kilos, planning on loosing 20 by october, 1300 a day. i’ll be tracking my food and days here, follow along if you want to