The Dumbest of Them All

Recounted tales of unintelligent happenings, in the form of quotes, conversations, images, videos, and stories. All names will be either withheld, changed, or shortened to an acronym to protect the privacy of those involved...however, at request of the submitter, uncensored first names will be used. All stories involving "S" or "Sora" are by the blog author, and S/Sora is the blog author.

[huhwaitwat-blog]

Can you hack the English option turned on in [insert name of Japan-only DS game here]?

Half of S's friends, to S, after learning she helped test the Nanashi no Game translation.

[huhwaitwat-blog]

Can you help me? I'm looking for a game for my kid and I want him to play good anime games. Is there a PG version of Rapelay?

A neckbeard, to one of Sora's roommates at the game shop she works at

[huhwaitwat-blog]

Hey look! I have a copy of Tales of Graces F for DS now!

A, moments before launching dsbricker.nds on their Acekard 2i.

[huhwaitwat-blog]

My DS can play N64 games!

Said by Sora's friend L, after playing Super Mario 64 DS and Rayman DS for the first time.

[huhwaitwat-blog]

You don't need to know Japanese to translate a game! You just need to know which option should be set to Yes!

At least 12 of S's friends

[huhwaitwat-blog]

R: So where are the instructions for this?

S: It's...a toaster. Press the button thingy down to make toast.

R: But what are these numbers?

S: Don't bother with the numbers.

R: I moved the numbers but it's not toasting.

S: I said don't bother with the numbers.

S goes and changes the numbers back.

S: Press the button thingy when your bread is in the slot.

R: What slot? Which slot? Where do I put the bread?

S: Bread goes in hole. Any hole.

R: Now what?

S: Press the button thingy.

R: What button thingy? What do I do?

S goes in there and does it for R.

R: Why didn't you just say so? I didn't know what to do and you weren't helping.

[huhwaitwat-blog]

L: You're walking in the woods. There's no one around and your phone is dead.

S: Out of the corner of your eye you spot him: Shia LaBeouf.

L: What? What in the world are you talking about? I was going to ask you what you were going to do.

S: Never heard that song?

S starts the song on her laptop. (Shia LaBeouf by Rob Cantor for those who are wondering)

L: This song is dumber than rocks. Play this one. It's much better.

L starts Friday by Rebecca Black on S's laptop.

S: And THIS is less dumb?

L: Okay, fine.

L starts some dumb Ke$ha song S has forgotten the name of.

L: This is much more intelligent.

S stops the song and turns on some Beethoven.

L: What the hell? This is dumb. It doesn't even have lyrics or autotune or a drop.

S: Get. Out.

[soradeeclaune]

is this notch

[huhwaitwat-blog]

I went into the local game shop today, where one of my roommates works. A man's voice was saying, "Well, I guess you can't help me today."

The one who uttered it stalked out. I went up to my roommate, who was currently working as a cashier, and asked what had happened. This is what I was told:

"Well, S, he waltzed right in demanding we sell him a copy of The Last Guardian, for his girlfriend. When I told him he would have to take that up with Sony, since the game isn't released and we don't have it, he began arguing with me that if the trailer exists then it's released. The argument finally got to the point it did when you walked in and heard the rest. I think he's going to try the nearest Gamestop next."

Moments later, the man walked back in. He was much less belligerent. He even looked apologetic, in a way. "Do you have a copy of Heavenly Guardian for Playstation 2?"

[huhwaitwat-blog]

R: How do you work this thing?

R is pointing to a microwave.

S: It's a microwave. Just push the buttons to pick a time.

R: There are so many buttons. What do I push?

S: Put in 30 seconds.

R: Do I press the popcorn button?

S: You aren't heating up popcorn. Put in 30 seconds.

R: How do I do that? Push the potato button?

S: Press 3 and 0.

R: Okay. I did it. Now what?

S: Press start.

R: But are you sure that's right? What if it's the defrost button?

S: Press. Start.

R: I don't know what to do.

The microwave beeps once and starts.

R: Did I do it right?

S goes to check it out. The microwave is set to 30 minutes because of the vegetable button.

R: Is that not right? I didn't know what to do!

S restarts the microwave for 30 seconds and walks out.

[huhwaitwat-blog]

So. An R4 can run DS ROMs, right? ISOs are also ROMs, right? All ROMs are the same, so that means R4s can run Super Mario Sunshine.

Said by T, as a response to an attempted explanation by Sora as to why an R4 flash card cannot run Gamecube ISOs.

[huhwaitwat-blog]

S's friend, A, comes up to her holding two pieces of a GBA cartridge. It has been cut clean in half.

A: I think this cartridge is broken.

S: What made you think that?

A: It doesn't start.

S takes a look at the cartridge for half a second.

S: It's cut in half.

A: That shouldn't affect how it works.

S: It does. How'd it get this way?

A: It stuck out of my DS Lite so I took a knife and went to town. Again, this should not affect how it works. I just wanted it to not stick out.