𝖙he 𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 of living

✦ 𝐩𝐟𝐩(𝐭𝐰𝐭/𝐱): @𝐅𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐔𝐅𝐔_𝐍﹗ dazai osamu rp blog. (﹢) 𝐒𝐏𝐀 / 𝐄𝐍𝐆。 ⸺It wouldn't have mattered what side you were on because anything that I never want to lose is always lost. This is how it's always been for me. Everything worth want is lost the moment I obtain it. And nothing I pursue is worth the cost of prolonging this life, this suffering.

[humanity-error404]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤA good book is always good, ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤno matter how many times ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤyou've already read it.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ#h.404error-info.

ㅤㅤㅤosamu dazai rp-blog.﹢ rules﹗ㅤ&ㅤ ✦ verses ㅤ;ㅤ﹟𝐇𝐂﹗ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ⤿ㅤ﹙✧﹚ 𝐒𝐏𝐀 / 𝐄𝐍𝐆. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ dazai's carrd: coming soon ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ﹙@crimson-yeou﹚compendium ﹗ ㅤ&ㅤ current ships: n.a. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤmore information coming soon﹗﹗

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ﹗﹗ 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓 ﹗﹗

[rexizoic]

GET HIS ASS KUNIKIDA !!!!!!

[totally-silly-artist-yep-stable]

i know teen dazai would look dead. with chapped ass lips too.

can you tell that i'm procrastinating? i put three drawings in a week bc i got an important exam in 23 days. gng i'm so fkin cooked

[phasmascript]

@humanity-error404 continued

There is a blink at that response. This guy was a weirdo. Why were adults all weird? “His name is Gon, he’s my best friend. You can pet him if you’d like? He won’t bite so don’t worry.” Biting was for bad people.

But now he can’t help but wonder. Could poison ivy really kill someone? But that’s a dark thought Niimi rather not think about! “You sure you aren’t hurt?” Strange as this person was, worry and concern are heavy in his voice. The boy opens the little pouch on his side- ignore the roasted cicada and the rocks- digging out ointment meant for minor scrapes. Which he holds out.

“Here! This always helps when I get hurt playing.”

[humanity-error404]

“If that’s the case…” Dazai’s index was placed on Bon’s head, moving slowly as a consequence of the expressive gestures he tends to make with his hands. “Pleasure to meet you, Bon-kun.” The detective scratched behind the fox’s ears for a few moments before withdrawing his hand.

What a lovely friend.

“You have nothing to worry about, but I’m flattered by your concern!” There’s some resemblance between Atsushi and the unknown boy, it’s probably the kindness they both possess. For that reason alone, he accepted the ointment. “Mm, how could I refuse? Thank you~.”

[humanity-error404]

Niimi is going to stare up at Dazai or well, more at all the bandages. “Did you get hurt really bad?” The little golden fox on the boy’s shoulder gives a small yip, sniffing at the air, before settling down. “Oh! Or did you fall in a patch of poison ivy? That sucks-“

(Have a little fox child)

“My, I wonder why I am asked that so often. Could it be because of my dazzling popularity~?” An innocent smile spread across the brunette's face, it was so utterly feigned that it was laughable. “Oh? And who might this little one be?”

Tempted to pet him, Dazai’s fingers approached without touching his fur. He playfully caressed the air instead, almost forgetting the conclusion the duo had reached.

“Alas, what a horrible way to die. Absolutely no.”

Wounds have become a natural companion for Dazai, he no longer remembers the last day his body was free of them. If the fox smelled fresh blood, it wouldn’t be surprising.

[antikr1sta]

In this life so devoid of pleasure, what would make a day feel so terribly nice?

[awesomeland39]

stupids

[zzzx009]

dazai tied his hair trust

[magnusalterum]

❝ I...see. ❞

That hadn't been what Lovecraft had expected, not from what he'd seen on the battlefield. Dazai was putting up a front, either then or now && Lovecraft was unsure of which one was more real. Humans would continue to confound him for as long as he was around them, but it was humans like Dazai who confused him the most.

❝ That's...quite profound, ❞ Yet he still felt uneasy looking at Dazai, he was near impossible to read, ❝ We are both monsters...we have both done...terrible things, but you still find our love...beautiful. That's...not something I would expect to hear from a human. ❞

After all, how could a human hope to understand the nuances of creatures like vampires && gods? Lovecraft wondered if had had somehow misjudged Dazai.

[humanity-error404]

Dazai placed his palms over his own face, donning an innocent smile.

“You heard it from a nuisance.”

Appreciation often comes from the least expected places; those who receive it from the common crowd are fortunate. Not only have they been accepted, but they have also been admired by the strangest, and perhaps even most terrifying, phenomenon Dazai had ever seen.

Alas, what a troublesome situation.

[magnusalterum]

Lovecraft's face was the color of the sea when Dazai spoke of home && easing loneliness. He'd yet to speak to anyone about Bram, not even the members of what was once the Guild. It was slightly humiliating to share something with someone who was once an enemy, now an annoyance. Lovecraft had folded so easily because his love for Bram was so great.

❝ Why do you...care? ❞

It was the only thing Lovecraft could think of saying, for he was unsure if Dazai meant what he said. If his thankfulness was genuine.It put Lovecraft on edge to think about what could potentially happen to his mate if the wrong people found out about him.

[humanity-error404]

Dazai sighed, wondering what the right words would be to describe a feeling that, if anything, is confusing even to him.

"Have you ever admired a flower, Octo-san? Or an animal that is not yours?"

Perhaps a fish, or a shark. Sharks are often called the dogs of the sea, which he finds fitting given his ignorance of the species. Both possess teeth that are equally vexing.

"You do not need to act to find peace or joy in witnessing it; admiration is more than enough. If that is so, why would you ever sabotage something so beautiful?"

Dazai assumed that his melancholy was compelling him to respond with a peculiar honesty; who could say? There was, somehow, something inherently right about it.

[that-one-raccoon]

my take on the fem! dazai appearance timeline!

[magnusalterum]

Dazai had changed somewhere along the line during their exchange. How though, Lovecraft could not figure out. Humans were the most difficult beings to read && he found more often than not that certain humans, humans that were not like him, did not say what they meant. There was always a guessing game && Lovecraft didn't even know he was playing until someone pointed it out. Frustrating, but Lovecraft didn't pay much attention to it.

He was more focused on what the human said about Bram, that he should allow his love to flow as freely as a river. The very idea made Lovecraft's hearts ache. If he were braver, he'd shout his love for his mate from the rooftops until his throat was raw && bloody. He'd spill his own sapphire blood upon the ground for an eternity if it meant Bram was loved.

Lovecraft was being manipulated, to a degree at least, he knew as much, but he could not bear to hold back his emotions after what Dazai had said.

❝ For his safety...I can't say a lot, ❞ Bram had been, at one point, an enemy to the world itself, ❝ I met him...in a music store in Yokohama that'd I'd been coming to...for awhile. He was...not familiar with a lot of music, so I helped him learn because...I used to be the same way. ❞

Lovecraft sighed, remembering the first time he saw Bram && how he was so obviously a vampire that it was a wonder he hadn't been staked yet.

❝ We started...spending more time together after the Guild was defeated. He would come to my apartment && we would...listen to music together, sometimes we wouldn't do anything but sleep..., ❞ A smile, something almost foreign on Lovecraft's features, ❝ Then one morning...he kissed my hand when he said goodbye. Our feelings just boiled over...until we became mates. ❞

[humanity-error404]

Alas, love is such a complex matter. Dazai listened with a faint smile. Lovecraft owning an apartment was yet another unforeseen detail in his story, as the detective expected him to be more pleased beneath the sea, beyond civilization. However, that lifted his own spirit. There was something comforting about hearing Lovecraft’s love.

“Two beings blind to the human world comforting each other, easing their loneliness, and creating something that can only be called a home. What a lovely tale.” He confessed, closing his eyes. “Thank you for entrusting me with such a precious memory.”

For the sake of love alone, he chose to turn a deaf ear to it. No organization would ever hear their secret from his lips.

[magnusalterum]

❝ If...he even has anything to give up... ❞

Francis had lost his child &&, to a degree, he'd lost Zelda as well, it was why he'd fought so hard to get the Book. Not something Lovecraft was personally invested in, but he'd understood it at least, from a logical standpoint. Though a part of him did think it to be extreme, but such was humanity. They had so much damn determination that they relied on beings like himself to try && achieve the impossible.

❝ I already told you.. ❞

It was only the second time Dazai had pried into Lovecraft's personal affairs, but he was being worn down so easily. His patience with the human was already worn thin && more than anything he just wanted to, get rid of him. Lovecraft wouldn't attack Dazai if he didn't need too, that was far too much effort to get rid of a mere nuisance. If he gave Dazai a name, something simple, perhaps he'd leave him be.

❝ His name is...Bram. Is that good enough for you? ❞

[humanity-error404]

“A crusade requires sufficient resolve to endure what must be renounced, Octo-san.”

He paused, narrowing his eyes. One of the few genuine expressions Dazai could offer is tied to a gloomy memory; a quiet melancholy always surfaces whenever he remembers his friend. Aware of the sorrow that brimmed in his gaze, the detective sighed with a faint smile, chuckling in the face of defeat. Perhaps he should eat spicy curry today, even if he has no appetite.

“…Otherwise, it becomes a descent into hell where even before it begins, the door to return has already been closed.”

His objective seemed feasible, but Dazai’s insufferable enthusiasm did not appear again.

“Bram, huh... You may pardon me, that is not enough.”

Dazai barely moved, looking up at the sky. There are no romantics left in the world.

“Octo-san, are you too a victim of apathy? Let your love for your mate express what logic cannot. As I said, love exists to be shared and cherished.” With little energy left, Dazai decided that would be his final attempt. He may find another moment to investigate and enjoy that mesmerizing romance.

[magnusalterum]

It was hardly difficult for someone to unnerve Lovecraft, with his constant anxiety && the overall nastiness that was the surface, but the more Dazai spoke, the more Lovecraft considered strangling him. Though, he really had no reason to beyond personal annoyance && he had already made an enemy of the Armed Detective Agency.

❝ My relationship with my mate is...none of your business... ❞

He shouldn't have even brought it up in the first place, but Lovecraft took things at face value too easily.

❝ Resentment is...a strong word. You're just annoying, ❞ Though, Dazai's comment about Francis did pique his interest, ❝ I knew he was...alive, but he's rebuilding his...fortune? I really hope that doesn't mean...he'll call on me again. He already...failed once. I'd rather...my contracts be successful... ❞

[humanity-error404]

"Ah! It breaks my heart!" Dazai placed his hand on his forehead, clutching his chest as he raised his voice, almost throwing a tantrum. "How am I supposed to have a peaceful suicide with this pain!? It is so cruel to deny me the privilege of witnessing such an interesting romance as yours!"

Ignoring what had become another victim of his horrible character, filled with a twisted sense of pride in annoying a creature like Lovecraft, Dazai once again found himself facing the emptiness that only his eyes could convey. Perhaps God was vexed with His own creation and, in an act that can only be described as inconsiderate, isolated it from the mortal paradise. It’s a plausible explanation; otherwise, why do stray dogs even exist?

“Fitzgerald possesses a rare gift for business, a true Midas of our era.” Sighing, slipped his hands into his pockets. "An obstinate gentleman, but who could blame him? What drives his existence is love itself, and while he acted as our ally, I am certain that, sooner or later, we will face each other once more. Only you, Octo-san, will decide whether to participate in his next crusade or not."

Smiling again, Dazai decided to insist. He cannot rest without knowing who Lovecraft’s mate is, and to his misfortune, he is not someone who abandons what captures his interest.

"Love exists to be shared.” Rising onto his tiptoes, approached with a shamelessness that exposed his nonexistent self-preservation. “Show me that love of yours. Do not be shy! Tell me who was the worthy living being to awaken such a heartwarming feeling in you."

[magnusalterum]

Lovecraft's usual apathetic expression could not possibly remain in Dazai's presence, not after what he had done. Chuuya at least had a notable Ability, one he desired to revisit, but this other human was just unpleasant. If the bomb hadn't been planted, if the Guild hadn't failed, his best friend would still be by his side like nothing was the matter.

❝ I'm already seeing someone anyway... ❞

❝ Besides that...I doubt you really care...&& does it really matter? The Guild is...over. Why pretend to worry about my well-being? ❞

[humanity-error404]

Dazai’s gaze opened with amused curiosity as he approached him, hands folded behind his back. His eyes were placed upon Lovecraft, enjoying the brief bliss of surprise. He never would have anticipated such a lovely event. A monstrous romance, perhaps, but as a hopeless romantic, Dazai allowed himself the indulgence of picturing the couple, fascinated by them.

“Oh? Love seems to be in the air; how jealous I am~!” Dazai clasped his hands before his face with a bright smile. “The only remedy is telling me every last detail of this romance of yours.”

He pressed a finger lightly against his lips, tongue peeking out as he tilted his gaze toward the sky, wearing an expression of youthful innocence.

“My, my. Those are some deep resentments, aren't they?” He mused with a soft laugh, closing his eyes. “Every conflict leaves someone on the losing side. Organizations rise and crumble, but people are written differently. Fitzgerald, at least, has been cooperative while rebuilding his fortune.”

[humanity-error404]

“Oh! Octo-san! Is that an invitation to commit double suicide together? How flattering! But I must decline, men simply are not my type.”

Dazai waved his hand, lowering his head with a faint, gentle smile.

“If you will pardon my impertinence,” he added, closing his eyes. “Have you already recovered properly?”

[humanity-error404]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤNow I have neither ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤhappiness nor unhappiness. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤEverything passes.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ#h.404error-info.

ㅤㅤ ㅤdazai o. ﹟𝐇𝐂﹗ㅤverse﹙s﹚ ; CANONverse ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ#nolongerhuman-hx. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ#pfect.witness-hx. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ#dmon.prodigy-hx. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ#c.rsed-existence-hx.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ痛み﹢ ㅤDue to his multiple suicide attempts and constantly pushing his body to its breaking point, Dazai suffers from chronic pain. At just fifteen, Dazai barely shows symptoms; however, by the age of twenty-two, he even needs a crutch to walk properly most of the time.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ痛み﹢ ㅤDazai doesn't express his chronic pain verbally, and he tries to hide it physically as well. This includes the fact that he does not use that crutch most of the time.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ痛み﹢ ㅤNaturally, Dazai isn't undergoing any treatment for his condition. He sporadically takes medication or drugs.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ痛み﹢ ㅤHe doesn’t take any pleasure in eating, and most of the time, he doesn’t even feel hungry. Dazai can go a full day without food and will often choose alcohol (especially sake) over a meal, reinforcing his unhealthy habits. Even so, as odd as it sounds, he doesn’t have a negative relationship with food. He simply doesn't have one at all.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ痛み﹢ ㅤDespite what was mentioned earlier, he’s still a picky eater. He avoids anything excessively greasy or strong-smelling, but he's willing to eat crap.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ痛み﹢ ㅤHe doesn't enjoy drinking beer at all, but he will do it anyway for some reason.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ痛み﹢ ㅤBefore joining the Agency, his personal hygiene was, at best, neglectful. He could go days without showering or trimming his nails, and his hair often went unbrushed for months. Since joining the Agency, he has become more consistent, usually smelling like cheap soap.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ痛み﹢ ㅤHe's autistic, yet he'll never ever consider it an option.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ痛み﹢ ㅤ(In case of Chūya being an ADHD individual)... He’ll exploit Chūya’s neurodivergency for his own entertainment, constantly hiding his medication (if taken).

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ痛み﹢ ㅤUnlike his female counterpart (#c.rsed-existence-hx.), Dazai is in a relatively better mental state. In contrast, she is in better physical condition, as her suicide attempts have been less violent (but more constant). She's a picky eater and neglectful with her own hygiene as well.