Hi I'm Valerie. pet my head ok?

Puppy gorl, Mom friend, Line Dog, Fat Chick. Making it work down south with my girlfriends and partners. I like cooking, fromsoft bullshit, all sorts of music but especially progdeath and groove metal, and I watch lots of anime and shit. Message me about whatever honestly I love to yap, and I'm on here a lot. also as far as posting it's mostly reblogging And like, girls.

[sub-butch30]

Life is too busy rn, just need to be kidnapped

[gucciballs-deactivated20200720]

[superdynamo]

back pain

[urie]

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

[radiofreederry]

Lol

[cavegirlpoems]

I cannot stop laughing at the idea that socialism ignores humanity’s highest spiritual ideal: owning yachts.

[abyssaldyke]

It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.

[prokopetz]

Look, I know somebody in this room is experiencing cosmic wonder. I can literally hear the tremolo strings accompanied by a solo guitar gently picking out an arrhythmic harmony.

[prokopetz]

I'm not asking for names, I'm just saying it would be swell if whoever's doing it would be kind enough to step outside before the sun bursts through the clouds and transfixes you in a single perfect shaft of light – some of us are photosensitive.

[idontwantsurgery-deactivated201]

[disbandandisperse]

and they’re usually not that brilliant and careful either. 99％ of the time the police are just incompetent! Ted Bundy literally jumped out a window and escaped police custody because they weren’t watching him

A victim literally escaped Jeffrey Dahmer’s apartment naked with a hole drilled in his head and unable to speak but police let Dahmer take him back to his apartment like everything was ok!

And I guess he doesn’t count as a serial killer but Eric Harris had already been making threats and harrassing students to an extreme degree before Columbine- police literally had a search warrant but they just never acted on it. If they had, they would have found the guns and pipe bombs and the shooting could have been easily prevented. They even tried to cover this up afterwards.

Serial killers and mass murders are usually not that smart, police have just historically refused to do their actual jobs.

[hooray4skeleton]

always remember that the “genius serial killer” narrative is a blatant cover for the fact that the police will always look the other way when it comes to white cis men exhibiting blatantly violent and hateful behavior

[mosscoveredcorpse]

Important to remember that people like Jeffrey dahmer targeted minorities because cops did not care about violence against them. It’s not just cops being incompetent, it’s the systematic violence, racism, classism, transphobia, and homophobia in the police system

[wifegideonnav]

happy pride to girls who didn’t know that women could be nice to you, inscrutable polycules, straight people in forbidden marriages, body snatchers who kiss their own reflections, poets obsessed with long-dead warriors, predatory cougars, lesbians who are in fact the problem, and girls who are in love with a corpse

[christianstepmoms]

And I worked with a man called Squidward. And he was a Protestant man, but we were the best of friends. But by God, he was crabid as a bag of cats. He was an auld grump. And he'd be big into the flutes and the Oboes and things like that. He lived in a big stone head.

[michelleion]

you really do have to watch the video, it's everything

[kepplu]

[danceundersparklinglights]

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

[loki-zen]

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

[mtndewpitchblack]

[kiefbowl]

[cryptotheism]

Off the gelfsauce, behaving regretably.

[evilvillain123456789]

>Hit pedestrian

>Check engine light turns back off

[shegayonmygirl]

girls I'm sorry as much as I talk about being a pervert I mostly just want someone to hold me tightly and make me feel safe and never let go

[swagophile]

spoke to my evil maid and she told me i'm not allowed to erect giant evil black obsidian stone pillars and give evil monologues anymore. she said everyone could see up my dress the whole time. she said theyve all been staring at my panties. every time. she said the hero thinks my ducky panties are cute. she actually said that. fuck the prophecy i think i need to just kill myself now instead. i'm ruined.

[flareonfloof]

honestly i thought you were doing it on purpose, why else would you wear cute ducky panties to a monologue event

[swagophile]

BECAUSE THEY'RE CUTE AND I LIKE THEM.