Humans of Northern

[humansofnorthern]

“I found myself when I began modeling. I never used to see the beauty in my red hair or my freckles because I was mocked and made fun of for it in elementary school. After I started acting, I applied [to become a model] and they called me back. Since then I’ve worked with brands including: Macy’s, Target, Kohl's, Justice and Jessica Simpson. The most important thing that I took away from my experience as a model is to accept myself for who I am. I remember seeing so many unconventional and unique looking girls just like me and I felt so excepted in what seems to be such an exclusive industry...”

[humansofnorthern]

“Since I don’t have any siblings, I’ll just be alone in the house sometimes and I’ll just be kind of panicky and scared. And I’ll start thinking, and I realize being alone for too long is really scary because the only thing you have with you is your thoughts. You are just alone to think, whatever, and anything could happen. You just feel kinda exposed.”

[humansofnorthern]

“I think my best memories have been in New Jersey... I don’t remember much from being born to about 7 or 8. I don’t really remember my first couple of years in California, my years in Oklahoma, but when I moved to Illinois, I became such a brat, I would say to put it nicely, and I didn’t like that, so as I moved to California I became nicer, but I realized that people in California, where I lived, didn’t like the nice kind of person. They wanted the typical bitchy popular girl, so when I moved back to Illinois, I tried to be a little more assertive and not always a nice person and I didn’t like that. I hated it! I HATED being that person. So when I moved to New Jersey, I became an nice person again and I tried to make everybody happy and that’s what I liked.”

[humansofnorthern]

“This sounds kinda selfish but just getting rich and just buying things for my family. I wanna be really successful so I can just buy things for my family. And be like ‘Hey, you don’t need to work anymore, I can pay all your bills, here’s a car’... Money is a complicated thing, when it’s a means of getting a lot of it. There are two ways; the good way and the bad way. The good way is just work hard. I don’t necessarily want to become famous... I just want to get enough money to just be like ‘Hey guys, I have money”. But the bad way is to just kinda like marry into someone’s money. Like you could be happy, and all. Like it’d be nice if I married a Disney prince, that’d be cool, but if I just married a regular prince and he’s a bad person. I’d have to take his money and go and that’s not a nice idea. I mean, it’s an option but it’s not a good option.”

[humansofnorthern]

“My greatest success would be if I actually became a successful screenwriter... I’d like to tell stories that basically no one else gets to hear. Stories that people don’t really want to say, express things from different points of views because there is not enough representation as there should be.”

[humansofnorthern]

“A deal breaker for me is, #1 if they murder someone or something, #2 if they do drugs. I can’t handle drugs like I’d never want to be around the person. That’s not a fun party for anyone, I mean like if you’re high, that might be fun for you until you get arrested or until you overdose and die. So... drugs are just not a fun time, not a good idea. And I don’t wanna be like around them, I wanna be as far as possible. Like if I love you, I’ll be like ‘Hey, stop that!’. And if it doesn’t stop then I’ll be like ‘Okay, bye, nice knowing ya’...People die from drugs. Like it’s a constant thing, people are like ‘Oh, if I do this I won’t get hurt’... a lot of things can happen from drugs, not just overdosing and dying. Like you could get all kinds of things. You can get AIDS from sharing your friend’s needle... Drugs destroys your brian cells, they do so many things that are just bad, like people try and prove that wrong but there are so many bad things that happen from every type or drug. And the thought of a loved one dying because of that, that’s crazy.”

[humansofnorthern]

“I was a very nervous kid growing up but I loved academics and traveling. I had wanderlust and a passion for my work. But it got hard to stay connected to my passions during my teenage years. They were the hardest of my life because I didn’t have a support group or guide. It taught me to never give up. I never gave up and ended up moving all over world. The way I experienced different cultures and interacted with people in power made my experiences unique. One of the most important things I learned through my experiences is that people in power will try to knock you down. One time, after I immigrated to the United States, my mother got very sick and I received the Red Cross notification of grave illness, so I needed to get my green card. I went to the INS and I had all my papers, I had paid every fee, and taken care of everything so I could come back to the States afterwards to keep working- at the time I was working at the college. And when it was time for the INS worker to help me, she just didn’t. She said she couldn’t do it even though she could. I was so upset because I knew she was discriminating even though her job was to work with immigrants. I felt like I did as a teenager at that moment. But since then, I’ve learned about this country and I made a strong support system with my family and my kids, and even though there is always room for improvement, I am very happy with my life, and just hope that I can inspire my students to never give up as well.”

[humansofnorthern]

“My biggest regret is not getting help for my mental health sooner than I did. In eighth grade, I started to feel a lack of passion for what I used to be interested in, and my life seemed like this alternate reality, and I was just an actress who forgot her lines. I started to struggle badly with self-esteem and body image more than the average person, and later I learned that this was because I likely have something called body dysmorphia. Depression and anxiety ate up every happy part of me, and it finally crossed the line between being a moody teenager into a serious and dangerous mental illness. When I realized this over the summer before ninth grade, I asked my parents for help by showing interest in having a psychologist. I had heard of this over media, in books, from friends, etc. and it seemed like something that could help me. Having a designated place for getting help and talking about what's taking over your life is infinitely better than keeping it in and bottling it up. I always wish I did this sooner. Finding a therapist was difficult because lots of people enjoy having a professional to talk to. Despite the months it took to find a therapist, this was a significant step in recovery for me. Time passed and I'm thankful that I asked for help, and that I got it. Now, over almost a year in therapy, I've learned about how to cope with mental illness. I've dealt with anxiety through therapy and some body image issues as well. However, a part of me was still feeling dissociated and numb to things that would've made me happy or sad if I had a proper chemical balance in my brain, and  I still wasn't over being ashamed of my physical appearance either. Mainly, I was still struggling with depression. It had been over a year of trying to fight it daily and I just wanted to feel like a regular person. After about six months of therapy, my psychologist recommended that I find a psychiatrist. After a month of searching for one, my mom found a doctor that diagnosed me with depression and prescribed medicine for my chemical imbalance. Finally, as of this past week, I've felt happy at the right times. I've felt sad at the right times. I've felt right. Two years ago, I never would have imagined being secure and confident in myself, but I am. If you feel depressed or anxious or bad in any way from no cause, it's worth getting help. Don't second guess yourself. You know yourself best, and as I learned, it's never worth suffering and not speaking up. The previously unbelievable can be your reality. You can learn to love yourself and rebuild your mental health. It's worth it.“

[humansofnorthern]

“I regret ever saying or thinking anything negative about myself and telling myself no or that I can’t. Because we only have one short life and we can’t change who we were born as, so I regret ever thinking that I needed to change myself, anything about myself, because of what other people think they can decide for or about me. I need to live the wonderful life that I want and need”

[humansofnorthern]

Here’s a good thing I’m going through. So, you know how we're told we’re supposed to know what we’re going to do after school especially when you’re a senior because you are going to go to college? So, my parents have been telling me I need to plan that out, and I’ve been changing who I want to be and what I want to do in the future so many times. So I went from wanting to do something in the military to wanting to become a scientist, wanting to be a scientist in the military, to a mechanic, to, like, this and that. And then I realized a long time ago I wanted to become a doctor because I liked helping people. I really like the science aspect of surgeries and things like that. I was still very confused as to wanted I wanted to do, you know, trying to weigh the options of if it was possible to keep going through four years of college and possibly more years. I was thinking about it, and I’m really trying to figure it out, and then I realized something, and it’s going to sound really stupid. I starting watching certain shows on Netflix, and then I came across Grey’s Anatomy. I was thinking about it, and that’s when something clicked. I was like  ‘I want to work at a hospital.’ But, my next question was ‘How do I do that?’ I talked to my mom about it, and she said I should become a nurse. So I thought about and looked into it and I thought ‘Maybe.’ But then I thought that I don’t want to stop there, I want to become a doctor or a surgeon, like I did a long time ago. The problem is that I’m not able to do that financially right now. So, today I’m going to RCBC to talk to the nursing program. Thinking that all of this could be a possibility, that I could reach it is insane for me, because it’s more stable than the other things I was thinking about and something I think I could devote my life to. Basically just drop everything in my life and fall into it and never come back. It’s really weird for me to realize all this time that’s what I wanted to do, but I refused to let myself believe that I could get there. It’s one of those things I’m really excited about and I can’t wait until I graduate and I have all those different doors open.

[humansofnorthern]

I value loyalty, so that my friends don’t neglect me and stuff. It’s kind of because people have neglected me before. When I was younger, I had a friend and she was only with me when she wanted to be, so then in more social situations, she would hang out with her other friends and I would be alone. It takes me a very long time to make new friends, and it’s hard for me to get close to people, so basically if I have to make new friends, the first thing I’m gonna look for is “Do they actually want to be my friend” or “Are they just using me?” when I move to Switzerland.

[humansofnorthern]

“My perfect idea of happiness is living a life full of public service first, personal endeavors next, and passing away with the thought that I’ve lived a full life. I personally am interested in military service, but after that pushing for some career or hobby involving automobiles.”

“Heading to Chesterfield elementary for the first time, After the summer I moved here, very exciting, nervous really. lots of people I didn’t know but I was relieved that I’d found my place here.”

[humansofnorthern]

I probably have 2 greatest achievements, one would be the birth of my daughter, Hannah. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me, when I look at her it I'm amazed that we were able to make something so wonderful and special. Getting this (counselor) job I think this is the second great achievement so far in my life. Going back to school after so many years of teaching it was not easy to motivate myself to get my masters degree and then get out of my comfort zone to apply for a new job. Then going through the interview process when I was so comfortable as a teacher. I'm pretty proud of myself for being able to to that and to make those achievements.

[humansofnorthern]

My greatest fear is death. There are so many unknown things about it and so many different views on it that there is no way to know what happens after you die and if there is anything to do at all. My motto is probably "Time will move on" because it looks at problems and says "Time moves forward". If you have a big project due in a week, you shouldn't start freaking out about it, because time will pass, and you will have to work on it eventually.

[humansofnorthern]

“My idea of perfect happiness is living in a mansion on a mountain near Vancouver with a bike jump in the backyard, and bike trails going all the way down the mountain. I wouldn’t have a job, because I would go mountain biking all day every day, and would have already made enough money to retire. I wouldn’t have any worries, and would be able to do what I love all day every day. I don’t think I could change the world someday - there are 7.5 billion people in the world, and my life goal isn’t to change any of those people’s lives, but to have fun, and have a steady income, not being stressed about bills or rent. I just really think that if I tried changing the world, I would end up wasting my entire life but still being unsuccessful.“

[humansofnorthern]

“I like myself. I like my body. I like my looks. I love my hair, I love how fast my hair grows because I can donate it all the time. I love that I’m just an amazing person, I look great. I just love to inspire people… at the gym, on the field and when I’m eating almond butter. Thank you very much G + T, I hope you like this. Aida’s out!”

[humansofnorthern]

“I think the trait I most deplore, or dislike, in others would be insincerity.  I don’t have a problem with people being different, or the same, or passionate, or angry, or unhappy as long as everybody is who they are at face value.  I think we can easily make a connection.  But when there is a lack of genuineness to a person, I think that puts space between people and creates an illusion that changes expectations of human interaction.  So I just think if everyone was sincerely who they are and just be genuine, we would have a lot more human connection in the world.”