Kit winces — it’s the first time she’s ever said anything about not liking Dalton, or at least the Warblers, and Jessica’s dour retort is kind of a mixed bag. The suggestion that maybe she’s the one who’s too good is … welcome, to say the least; Kit has never been too good for anyone, at least in anyone’s opinion but her own, she’s sure.
But, all the same, it’s not exactly reassuring. “I’m not being fake,” she retorts, even if she is, and she knows it. “I just — that’s not it, I have to be a team player, the Warblers are a lot different than New Directions.” She jerks her chin up, a little defiant. “They remind me a little of Vocal Adrenaline, honestly.”
Crush on Blair or no, there’s a pang of guilt in her stomach like she’s trying to get in a low blow, and Kit grimaces uncomfortably on her edge of the bench. Jessica isn’t the one telling her to keep her arms down. “Blair’s just trying to help.”
Jessica can’t hold back the laugh at Kit’s words. Everything she was saying was so completely ridiculous that for a moment she wondered if the lack of real performance had driven the other girl mad.
“Please. Your little group of old ladies bopping to a mindless top 40’s tune is nothing like Vocal Adrenaline. For one, we had real talent and secondly we didn’t back down in order to support a star. Yes, I was the main attraction - and for good reason - but anyone of the others would have killed me in my sleep for their chance to shine and they tried everything they could think of to beat me. No one accepted things for the way they were.”
Pushing herself up off the stool she sways on her feet for a second, unsure why she’s so tired. But the moment is lost, any sense of easiness she felt is gone and suddenly she feels even more stressed then she did before the started singing. But at the same time, she doesn’t really want to leave.
Unsure of what to do with herself she hovers between the piano and music books. It wasn’t often that Jessica showed if she was unsure or uneasy and the idea of not having a distinct purpose was off putting.
“You know what, believe whatever you want but all Blair is trying to do is change you.” She hovers for a second longer before slowly heading towards the door. “I need to do something.”
Even if she wasn’t sure what she meant by that, she knew she couldn’t keep feeling like she was doing absolutely nothing.
"The Warblers hold auditions!" Kit flushes red when a librarian peeks around a row of shelves to shush her, and she gently lowers the lid of the piano so she can fold her arms across it and rest her head. "They hold auditions for all the solos and they take a vote, it's -- it's very fair. Blair's just ..." She swallows hard. "Well, obviously Blair deserves them."
She doesn't move when Jessica stands, just keeps her head in her arms on the piano. She's not really the person she used to be, not at school, at least, or anywhere with Blair, for all the good it's done her. No solos, no girlfriend, and the regular weekend rehearsals in Westerfield mean she's hardly seen any of her friends in weeks.
"She's just trying to help me fit in." The words don't feel right coming out of Kit's mouth, but she feels obligated to defend Blair all the same. Defensively, she adds, "Just because nobody's ever liked you enough to show you the same courtesy, you don't have to go tearing her down."
Not, Kit thinks, that someone like Jessica has ever needed the help.
"I'm going to practice," she huffs. "I hope you have a nice weekend, creeping around."