YOU ARE THE REASON
Claire Keane
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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I'd rather be in outer space šø
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if i look back, i am lost
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
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hello vonnie
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Not today Justin
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#extradirty
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@humormeweston-blog
Anyone else ever have
humorsmythe:
Whatās with you people being needy for approval all at once?
I donāt know what youāre talking about, everyone, but Iāve been here long enough for you to trust that I do my work and itās good work. Even if you donāt want to say thank you, itās kind of insulting that you feel like you have to check up on me.
I have some very exciting news!
Youāll still see me outside of work. And you better be coming to my eventual opening night - third row center, the best seats in the house.Ā
What makes you think you could keep me away?
Anyone else ever have
Hey, whatever helps you sleep at night. They are very nice biceps, I mean I heard you only won because they didnāt want to give everything to me, but I mightāve imagined it.
Donāt go down this road, Chang. There were strict rules in place that you could only win one category. Itās why Rachel got best ass over Santana because sheād already gotten best chest.
Now that youāre bringing it up, Iā not sure. But I mean look at her, sheās clearly too attached. Could you imagine holding a dog and never putting it down? That canāt be sanitary.
Thatās kind of disgusting, now that Iām thinking about it. You probably dodged a pretty nasty bullet in that case.
Anyone else ever have
Do you think anyone would just let their employees run with whatever they want to? No. People change, thereās always those who grow lazy with age.
Itās literally our jobs to be creative, you kind of have to expect a little running and youāve always killed anything you didnāt like anyway.
Iāve proved myself here, Sebastian, you can at least admit that.
Anyone else ever have
Cute, but I think youāll find people like me always outlast people like you.Ā
The CDC would disagree.
I have some very exciting news!
Itās been almost seven months now, and even Iām starting to find Bake it Off obnoxious. Itās time for something new.Ā
Youāre not going to miss me if I leave, are you?Ā
Of course I will. Even before we started dating, you were always one of my favorite people in the office. You have great ideas, youāre always willing to help, you share your weird snacks that really arenāt that bad.
I have some very exciting news!
I hope itās a big thing. A workshop can be 80 hours of work a week and lead nowhere, but the story is good and I get to showcase my vocal range more than I have in the past few years around here. I missed singing, you know? And parodies are fun but theyāre notā¦itās not whatās going to really launch me to where I want to be.Ā
Of course not. For one, workshops only pay like, $200 a week, which is not enough to live off of. And I have my trust, of course, but I dipped into that for my new apartment and quite frankly, I foresee dipping into it a little bit more in the next few months. Iād rather keep my financially stable job while I can. Besides, I love the office, itās been a great place for me. It brought me you, for one.Ā
I donāt know. Might be hard to top Bake It Off. Iām kidding. Weāve always known you had way more to offer than Taylor Swift parodies, even if she did retweet it once upon a time.Ā
Yeah I kind of like having you around too.
Anyone else ever have
I donāt tell you my stories, Weston, because that would involve actually speaking to you with a modicum of interest. You can trust me when I say that things are never the same with me for too long though. I just turned 25 and, unlike you, I donāt plan to have exactly the same life when I hit 40.
If you last that long.
Anyone else ever have
Itās not about being unpredictable, itās about being a good boss.
A good boss would know that his employee of - what is it now, six years? - has consistently put out good work without being checked up on and rarely gets anything more than āhereās your paycheckā for it from said boss.
Just saying.
Anyone else ever have
Is it because Iām not Rachel? Should I talk more about cats? Or because I was voted best abs in the office? You knew Iād be unimpressed.Ā
I do. I was born this way.
You only won because Iād already won best biceps and was therefore ineligible.
asheditmechang:
@humormeweston sheās an animal lover, at least. did you get her number?
@chittychittychangchang i tried, she refused to put down her dog?? she loves animals TOO much
Like runs a shelter for all other abandoned Lego animals to much, or like Lego Hannibal too much?
Anyone else ever have
I expected something along the lines ofĀ āhave you seen me shirtlessā, which I wouldāve easily said no to, but you have real reasons. They definitely count. Iāll get you the hook up. Itāll be very romantic.
Give me some credit. I know my audience,Ā knew āshirtlessā wouldnāt work on you.
You really know how to treat a guy though, donāt you?
Anyone else ever have
How have you earned it? Sell me on it and Iāll get you whatever you want.
Um... I turned 27 last month and I didnāt get any chocolate then? Or how about I helped you with all those videos that one time. And didnāt I give you the extra chips from the machine when it gave me two bags? Thatās got to count for something, right?
ā³ INSTAGRAM: @chittychittychangchang uploaded a new photo.
Met a fan today. I think she was a little disappointed I was alone and not with the rest of the humorme crew. Itād explain why she was so quiet. #finallymadeit #kindof
ā³ 937 LIKES, 145 COMMENTS
@humormeweston sheās an animal lover, at least. did you get her number?
Anyone else ever have
Iāve been to more countries in one month than youāve been to in your entire life. Iāve done things, seen things, fucked in ways you could never imagine. My days are never the same and yours are all identical. Congrats on trying but no, Weston, Iām not the one with the dullest routine in the world.Ā
I donāt really think any of that counts if you still literally do the same things no matter where you go. Food. Sex. Booze. And you barely ever remember it. It may sound exotic and exciting to people who donāt know you, but trust me Effy, your stories are getting dull.
Anyone else ever have
Yeah, sure, if you want to get fired, you can go ahead.
Yeah, I figured thatās what youād say. Getting predictable Smythe.
