Hungarian Memento

Extracts of the most preposterous, yet subtle moments of what the average Hungarian reads about the land of unorthodoxy, illiberalism and Schmitt Pál.

[hungarianmemento]

Pannonian BBC

Viewers nationwide witnessed the outrageous debut of the Hungarian state television on March 15, evidently the 2nd chapter of the media war, that has been going on since the beginning of February.

As stated before, Mr. Lajos Simicska, an oligarch once close to Orbán, officially broke up with his former college rommate, allegedly, due to various interest clashes in the distribution of state procurements, but most importantly the construction of a nuclear power plant. The most visible symptom of the war is the “retuning” of certain channels and newspapers, such as Hír TV and Magyar Nemzet. Mr. László Köver, Speaker of the National Assembly even stated in an interview: “from now on, they are to be considered as opposition news channels”. As a result, rumors have emerged of a party directive within Fidesz to initiate a complete boycott against these channels.

The next, logical step of this information war was the launch of alternative news sources, that provide complete, unquestionable propaganda for the government. Perhaps it is better to put it this way: Orbán - being afraid of losing contact with their conservative supporters - completely devoured the state television and transformed it into a 24-0 news channel, based on the BBC model.

Weather forecast on March 15. Yes, two experts are explaining the weather.

Source: index.hu

Index.hu provided an excellent insight article about the current state of this television that can easily be summed up in a couple of statements:

the program is made by unexperienced, cherry-picked, loyal people (and an army of free interns)

when they realized, that they sent away too many professionals, they re-hired a couple in a part-time position

the goal to kill “Hír Tv” overwrote the basic requirements of being a state television

they simply lied in their first evaluation of the public viewer rate figures

modern, therefore extremely expensive tools were procured for the program production, neglecting the legal requirements of public procurement

since the staff could not process and provide materials for the 24-0 broadcast in time, weather forecast became a key program element on the first day (March 15)

as the chaos continued on March 16 as well, the channel simply decided to broadcast the plenary meeting of the parliament

March 17: see March 16

Here is a cam-recorded mix of bloopers from the first day, enjoy! You don’t need to speak Hungarian to recognize shame. The best part? It costed almost 4 million EUR so far.

March 18, 2015

[hungarianmemento]

Rubberspine FTW

Yes! Hungarian democracy is officially restored! This blog is over.

On February 22, 2014, interim elections were held to decide, who will fill the empty place of Mr. Tibor Navracsics from the voting district of Veszprém.

Mr. Navracsics, serving as deputy PM below (sic) Orbán between 2010-2014 is evidently connected to every governmental decision, yet his official hearing in 2014 in Brussels was rather a "Walk to Canossa" to prove that despite facing allegations of supporting (or at least not opposing) questionable laws, he had nothing to do with it. Mr. Navracsics has officially joined the club of those who successfully turned their mouth into a glowing rectum. (This sounds much better in Hungarian).

Since Mr. Navracsics is now a brave fighter in the European Commission, (a.k.a. "the almost-government of the EU") representing Brussels against national governments for a humiliating minimum wage, he surely finds it difficult to sometimes work against Orbán, but I'm pretty sure that he will overcome this cognitive dissonance.

So back to the elections. Apparently, the parliamentary seat of Mr. Navracsics was the decisive one, which determined if Fidesz can rule with a majority of two thirds, thus being able to amend the constitution and appoint people to positions unilaterally. Veszprém - to put it simple - became a comedy of democracy. Several independent candidates (completely unknown guys, without any chance to win), a promised new swimming hall, election fraud allegations, false public opinion polls, lists of possible voters and not voters, etc., but eventually, Zoltán Kész (independent, but enjoyed the full support of the opposition parties) defeated the candidate of Fidesz. Fun fact 1: the total of 22.000 Fidesz votes from April, 2014 shrunk to a tiny 10.400, while Kész received around 13.000. Apparently, the promise of a new swimming pool did not convince people to vote for the oranges again. What is more important: Fidesz lost its constitutional majority, which fact might re-enable the opposition to act as a political force, not just a bunch of human decoration.

Now back to Mr. Navracsics. Journalists from the largest liberal daily "Népszabadság" asked Gábor Kubatov (party director of Fidesz) for an interview about the legendary list, that - according to rumors - can tell which party you are voting for with 99% accuracy. After denying the interview harshly, police officers turned up to ask for the ID's of the media workers mentioned above. Fun fact 2: Veszprém chief of police turned up himself within 5 minutes to act himself.

Question 1: Who has the authority to call the chief of police himself to report "pestering liberal journalists?"

Questions 2: Why is Mr. Navracsics saying that the entire process of harassing media workers is normal:

"You had your papers on you, no? Why the fuss?"

February 24, 2015

[hungarianmemento]

Ferrycountry for good

Let us think geopolitically for a while. Hungarian soul, as we call it, is suffering from deeply rooted, nationwide self-pity. The Trianon Treaty of 1920 that ended World War I, indeed caused a justified upset, since the loss of territory and population significantly determined the geopolitical potentials of the country.

Young kids, attending kindergarden already have a vague idea of the "common national tragedy", way before they learn where babies come from, therefore it is not surprising, why we regularly stumble upon political statements clinging into the vague narrative of "reconciliation with our national tragedy". The drastically restructured thinking of the Hungarian people and the country's brief history since 1920 fundamentally determines the way our always often demagogue political forces try to picture Hungary as a key player in the "colossal clash of titans", where Hungary can act as a Ferry Nation between two major shores.

In 1989, Soviets left the country, we changed the constitution and declared the Republic of Hungary for the third time. In 1990, we held our first democratic elections (yes, we did not vote with pencils and there were actually more than one candidate!). In 1999, remembering "not to trust those damn Ruskies", we joined NATO. In 2004, we joined the European Union. From a realist point of view (but from many others as well) the position of the Hungarian prime minister is easy peasy: wait until the Germans, the Americans and eventually the rest decide on a key issue, then you join the chorus, because being part of a strong club is better than being the underdog. Everyone learned it from school. 

Viktor Orbán, having realized that his two thirds majority in the parliament is not an ultimate weapon - and there are actual international barriers and domestic concepts of checks and balances - he found himself in an area, where the budgetary requirements set by the IMF, and the legal bindings emphasized by the EU seriously restricted the elaboration of his envisioned "System of National Cooperation". His quite unclear (and almost unilaterally promoted by Orbán himself) concepts of the "Opening to the East" and "Illiberal Democracy" seriously diverged the trajectory of the country from the path, that was somewhat determined, based on the events since 1989. Orbán has already openly confronted the United States, and shifted the extremely delicate Hungarian-German principle-based relations into rigid pragmatism. Due to his Eastern orientations, he decided to trust Putin's Russia to expand Hungary's only nuclear power plant (the exact budget and the details of the contract are considered as top secret information, even though we are talking about 10-12 billion EUR) relying on almost unconditional Russian loan, and renew the gas supply contract. Have I mentioned, that there is a gruesome violation of probably every document on international peace going on in Ukraine?

Source: Origo.hu

In that heatened situation, Orbán decided to host the Chancellor of Germany, Angela Merkel and Vladimir Putin, President of Russia in February, both within just two weeks, to demostrate his genious tightrope walker abilities. The result, apart from having the entire city closed down for two days? Nothing. Merkel's visit reinforced the cool, forward-thinking image of her, not underlining anything negative or positive about Orbán. Putin, on the other hand, found himself the only puppet within the EU and the NATO, that was willing to welcome him on a bilateral meeting, which he has been craving for almost a year, since the eruption of the outrageous involvement of Russia in the Ukrainian turmoil.

Alas, Mr. Ferry did it again.

18 February, 2015

[hungarianmemento]

"Previously on the House of Cards...of Hungary"

Admittedly, February 6, 2015 was a historical day in Hungarian politics. Before putting here any spoilers, let me just give you a brief summary of the background of all this.

The party, bearing two-thirds  majority in the Parliament for the second consecutive term, Fidesz did not start well after the era of 1989. Fidesz, being a new party as all the others, tried to locate itself in the best position of the political sphere to attract voters, thus a strong liberal/anti-clerical/anti-communist/pro-capitalist has been articulated for almost two election terms, without proving any significant result (Fidesz won its first election in coalition as a centrist-conservative party, realizing that the only option to survive is to create the image of a conservative “civilian, people’s party”). As practically all the bottom-up parties in the good old days of 1988-1990, Fidesz, and more specifically the people around the party were struggling hard to financially maintain the party, since none of the newcomer parties acted as gravitational centres of capital investments, just like in “adult democracies” (USA, UK, Germany, etc.).

Orbán (left) and Simicska (right) in the good old days

Allegedly, based on interviews conducted with Fidesz officials, there was a misterious guy, Mr. Lajos Simicska (former dorm roommate of current prime minister Viktor Orbán) who was “extremely smart” and "managed to keep the party above the water when it came to financials". Simicska and Orbán were very close, considered to be friends and allies, having discussions frequently. During the first Orbán administration (1998-2002) Simicska was appointed as head of the National Taxation Office. In the beginning of the second Orbán term (2010-2014) Simicska’s name appeared as head of a brand new constuction company “Közgép”, which company became a super-magnet of state procurements of railway, highway and building reconstructions from 2011 (income figures here). Also, Simicska directly or indirectly acquired ownership in various right-winged media products (income figures and ownerships here) even the most prestigious Magyar Nemzet and HírTV.

And this is where we reach February 6, 2015. As urban rumors told, Simicska confronted Orbán after the victory of April, 2014. Simicska also admitted, that he and Orbán have not contacted each other since then, and the reasons for that are unfortunately up to speculations:

- Simicska had huge problems with the restructing of the media market, as Orbán has stopped publishing government advertising in Simicska’s media products and putting more emphasis on state channels

- He expressed his negative feelings about the state of economy and the “Russian turn” (Russia might build the extension of the existing nuclear power plant in Paks)

- Közgép’s involvement of state procurements is/is getting reduced

Yesterday, around 12:30 PM the entire head editorial staff of Simicska’s assets resigned, allegedly by the further push of Orbán, claiming that they cannot work any more, due to “conscience” reasons (to put it simple: they do not want to work against Orbán, when Simicska finally declares war through these channels). Simicska, who has been acting in the shadows for nearly two decades, gave approximately 15 telephone interviews to various liberal newspapers, cursing the prime minister, using unprecedented expressions within less then a couple of hours. (For Hungarian-speakers, brilliant interviews are available: audio, written.) A selection of the best statements:

- “Orbán is a piece of jizz!”

- “This is all-out war. One of us will fall, and by that I mean physically. Yes, I might be shot or ran over.”

- “I am going in and fire all the remaining Orbanists right now!”

And probably the funniest statements from the guy, who had no problems with the “System of National Cooperation” as long as it poured taxpayer billions into his pockets:

"Orbán’s aim, to introduce 5% flat tax on every media product is an attack on democracy. "

"We wanted to demolish a dictatorship, instead of building a new one…"

Liberals and leftists are sitting back, sipping their coffees and laughing like never before. 

7 February, 2015

[hungarianmemento]

Rocksteady Attila

Probably all of the cliché adjectives have already been used by us to describe the government's relentless passion of creating, leaving the average voter breathless. Nonetheless, here is a nice collection:

Followed by the extremely busy Christmas-New Year period, during which several preposterous proposals were announced, including:

Introducing compulsory toll fee for a highway segment around Budapest, which is supposed to attract, therefore divert traffic from the city. Apparently, it was too difficult for the state television to find a single positive opinion in this case, therefore they found an actor to be "utterly satisfied".

Introducing mandatory holiday on Sundays for stores above a certain shopping area, killing market competition, thus clearing the way for franchise systems (...have I told you about CBA gorcery store chain, which - by accident - is not only close to the government, but is operating in a franchise system? Nah, probably just a coincidence.)

Előd Novák, MP of the right-radical, "national-emotioned", Hungarian, national-radical, szittya, nazi party Jobbik took the chance to welcome Hungary's first newborn (a Romani boy) in 2015 on his facebook page with a warning, stating that the "gipsy hordes" led by young Rikárdó will rob, burn and eat Hungarians in 25 years.

Prime minister Viktor Orbán not less then a week after the Charlie Hebdo attacks condemned the policy of letting economic migrants into Europe, by stating that "he will not let Hungary become a hotspot for immigrants". It is a good thing to hear that from the leader of the country with almost the highest rate of economic migrants leaving their own country, seeking better salaries in Western European states. The topic "immigration and Hungary" needs a longer post though.

Antal Rogán, now MP, former mayor of the fifth district in Budapest is now accused by an opposition politican of being involved in a largescale fraud of selling district property estates way under the market price, causing an estimated 4 billion HUF (12,3 million EUR) loss to the distict budget. The complaint has been filed, story to be continued.

These are all completely negligible events. However, there is one mistery, that keeps us, living in Budapest thrilled: wild boars are roaming the streets of our capital! We are not sure if Konfuciusz, Rocksteady Attila, Zrínyi or Madonna Gábor are different or the same animal, but I hereby wish her/him a pleasant stay. She/He deserves it.

Locations where boars were spotted (444.hu)

January 15, 2015

[hungarianmemento]

To Pee or not to Pee

New York and Fidesz have one thing in common, neither of them sleep, ever. As we have seen it a couple times recently, blatant cases (or at least the assumption) of massive corruption within the government were usually followed by an amateurish distraction. Fidesz officials cannot prove their source of income to afford miraculous castles? Internet tax. Party members travel to New Zealand for a freaking Rolling Stones concert? Let’s close stores on Sundays. Minister buys wineyard for his 10-year-old son worth millions of HUF? Guess what happened:

Mr. Máté Kocsis, starting his starlike career in MIÉP (the arch party of old bastard nazis, completely devoured by Jobbik and Fidesz by now) now head of communication of Fidesz got “really upset by recent drug incidents”. His personal impression of these “horrible incidents” made him think: what if we force schoolkids, journalists and politicians to take annual compulsory drug tests?

This guy (MEP of Fidesz in Brussels) claimed never to have taken drugs. LOL

Apart from the fact, that the annual test would cost around 130 million EUR annually and last for around 90 years, would actually do nothing against the spread of drug abuse. Also, Mr. Kocsis’ argument of picking journalists and politicians and not other professions is completely anticonstitutional, but the effort itself is appreciated. But I’ll tell another thing: Hungary has no national strategy against alcoholism, even though we are proud leaders of alcohol consumption charts and deaths connected to alcohol-related diseases.

December 1, 2014

[hungarianmemento]

Black Friday in Hungary

Quo vadis, Hungary? - the question is getting more and more justified, considering that this day, the 21st of November provided shocking figures of how we (and by we, I mean the overall average of the country) live.

For starters, reserachers of the Sociology Department of the Hungarian Academy of Science revealed shocking figures on the Hungarian rate of powerty, based on the findings of Eurostat. According to that, the rate of people deprived of at least four elements of “the necessary living standard” out of nine (for instance heating or meat consumption) reached 26,8% by 2013, which, compared to other ex-communist countries, (Slovakia 10,2%, Poland 11,9%) is shockingly high. Hungary was also the only country among the Visegrad4 (Czech Rep., Slovakia and Poland) in which the rate of people threatened by the effects of poverty rose, which cannot be ultimately explained by the raising unemployment rate in Hungary. The Central Bureau of Statistics published these findigs now, instead of a “traditional” early autumn date (it was 20 September in 2013 and 3 October in 2012). Hint: municipality elections were held on 12 October.

A day after, a brief note got published about the reallocation of 182 million forints (almost 600.000 EUR) in the budget, taking away funds from the “Operational expenses of institutions managing social benefits and child care” to “Honoring sports achievements”.

Also, the website of one of the largest electronics store broke down due to overload. The reason: the shopping mayhem called Black Friday finally reached Hungary.

Funfootage: opposition television reporter tries to harass the minister with stupid questions, e.g. "what is the government's reaction to these figures?"

November 21, 2014

[hungarianmemento]

Sunday, greedy sunday

Unlike the brilliant song of U2, this day is a commemoration of another “probe” idea of the coalition partner KDNP, namely the obligatory resting day for stores above a certain area on Sundays.

Apart from the fact that taking out a day of domestic consumption from the Hungarian economy might cripple the country, (this statement is not supported by studies, but who cares, neither is this law proposal) most people will course the government by imposing an irritating, completely unilateral regulation, again.

As in practically every question, the final word is expected from Orbán, who - allegedly - supported, not supported, supported again, and finally: has not decided about the issue, all these within 24 hours.

That leads us to a shocking phenomenon of Hun politics, namely the reason behind the existence of the Christian-Democratic People's Party (KDNP), which has always been a trusted sidekick of Fidesz, running with them on every elections, with the expectaions to gain a tiny slice of the cake called Hungary. The first problem with KDNP is that certain figures, who claim to represent certain conservative values, come out from their shady shacks and present nonsenses that will “protect traditional values”, which are either taken already, since Fidesz and Jobbik cover the whole right hemisphere of the political globe, or just the promotion of personal hobbies, like hunting (Zsolt Semjén, head of party is a well-known hunter). The second, probably bigger problem is that even though KDNP claims to represent a voter base that does not exist by itself, (the last elections that they ran individually on were in 1994) they occasionally get important ministries and destroy strategic areas (such as the education) with utter enthusiasm and bigottry.

To overcome raging alcholism in Hungary I hereby suggest a new drinking game: have a bottle of vodka if you meet a KDNP voter. Nationwide sobriety is guaranteed.

November 13, 2014

[hungarianmemento]

Lost in Translation

The ongoing saga of the US travel ban against Hungarian government officials took a hilarious, yet awkward turn.

As known, US representatives (in this case Chargé d'Affaires, a.i., Mr. André Goodfriend) and the Hungarian side have brought themselves into a Mexican standoff, as both sides are blaming the other for not initiating a flow of information, i.e. the necessary evidence supporting the 7750 Presidential proclamation that was enacted against Hungarian state officials.

Ms. Ildikó Vida, head of the Hungarian internal revenue service (NAV) (also former member of the Bibó István ELTE Law Faculty Student Community, AKA the Hungarian Skull&Bones, just like Mr. Lajos Simicska, a well-known oligarch, Mr. Viktor Orbán, current prime minister, Mr. János Áder, current president,  Mr. József Szájer AKA the iPad man, creator of our new constitution, Mr. István Stumpf, current member of the Constitutional Court, former minister of Orbán's first term, and many others), admitted being on this list, thus being a personal target of the corruption allegations against NAV, which pretty much pissed people off. It might seem so, that the general bitterness of Hungarians who do not support the government per se is slowly turning into a rainbow movement of happy faces from all segments of the society, which is - admittedly - a unique thing in Hungary. Since we are currently experiencing this opposition "Zeitgeist", it might be early to predict if these tensions have reached the peak already, or it will grow into something else (another demonstration is to be held on 17 November, 2014, basically against corruption and the leaders of the revenue service).

So back to Ms. Vida. She - being suspiciously reinforced by the camera crew of HírTV (News Television), a channel having close ties to Fidesz - approached Mr. Goodfriend in front of the US Embassy in working hours, accompanied by her lawyer to ask about the evidences that support the travel ban against her. As seen on this brilliant footage, Ms. Vida, invigorated by fury and bloodlust, tried to surprise Mr. Goodfriend with panther-like dexterity. This carefully elaborated plan lacked a single, but key element: a translator.

Source: index.hu

Update #1: By the way, she hasn't actually managed to obtain the needed information, and she is applying for VISA to trick the yanks (since Hungary is part of the Visa Waiver Program, a mere ESTA needs to be acquired for 14 USD. Considering, that the system is quite automatic, Ms. Vida will only face the actual consequences of the travel ban when an immigration officer will escort her back to the transit area at JFK).

Update #2: No, she is not applying, changed her mind apparently.

November 11, 2014

[hungarianmemento]

THE MOST MEMORABLE MOMENTS OF HUN POLITICS #1

  Even though Memento is glad to officially confirm that the anti-internet tax protests had quite a cheerful and carnival-like atmosphere, it is also true that a shiver went down our spines spotting some long-time forgotten political celebrities in the crowd.   

“A spectre was haunting the protests — the spectre of Gábor Demszky.”

The appearance of Mr. Demszky (age 62), a retired liberal politician and mayor of Budapest 1990-2010, came as bit of a surprise as allegedly he ‘fled’ to the US from public anger after his last term and kept himself well away from politics. What should you know about this great man? Thanks to the traditionally socio-liberal electorate votes of Budapest’s population and his smartness of positioning himself as a victim of right-wing governments’ anti-Budapest policy and the savior of the capital’s liberal identity from pseudo-fascist threats, Mr. Demszky could stay in office for 20 years, despite all the sins he committed against this beautiful city. Just to give you an idea about the legacy of his reign, imagine that during these decades not a single new metro station was opened in Budapest, a city of 1.7 million (mind that meanwhile Prague got 19, Warsaw 21 and Bucharest 10 new stations). And no, you are wrong if you think since he hates to go underground – the average age of the city’s bus fleet was 17 years, while the tram fleet’s 30 years when he stepped down. Also mind that if the global financial crisis does not break out in 2008, our favorite District7 would have never become a Mecca of Ruin Pubs, but a decent quartier-dortoir, with newly built expensive Tunisian-seaside-resort-hotel-looking multi-storey apartment houses. During Mr Demszky’s inverse Gründerzeit, backed by the local municipality, dozens of old houses were let to stand abandoned, in ruin and later sold to foreign investors with good connections much below market prices. Here is a great example. We all miss you, Gábor.

However, this “Demszky&Demonstration” coctail last week reminded us something totally different, one of the most memorable moments of Hungarian politics, known as Demszky esernyője, “The Umbrella of Demszky”.

On March 15, 2007, at an official state ceremony devoted to the anniversary of the 1848 Revolution against the Habsburgs, Mr. Demszky, as every year before since 1990, intended to make a speech at the statue of Hungary’s national poet, the Revolution’s icon, Mr. Sándor Petőfi. In those turbulent years far-right extremists always guaranteed that no government officials would have a good sleep before a public appearance, as these lovely people never missed a chance to give voice to their anger at such events. No surprise, that on this very day Mr Demszky’s bodyguards were well-prepared for everything. Even for an egg shelling. 

Do not miss the video.

November 5, 2014

[hungarianmemento]

Eh?!

Puzzle Piece #1

The past week has been both shocking and hilarious for us. Shocking, because 6 government officials (or related) were denied to travel to the US, due to corruption allegations, which is unprecedented in a NATO member state.

Hilarious, because the neither the Hungarian government, nor the Prosecution Office has initiated an investigation about the case. According to their claim, no investigation can actually be started unless names, or evidence is presented. US laws, however, prohibit the relevant authorities to disclose the requested information. Catch 22 à la Hongroise.

Puzzle Piece #2

Either as a distraction, or just out of plain stupidity, the government proposed a new internet tax, which would have put an extra 50 eurocents on 1 gigabyte of traffic. (The most updated proposition limits the tax burden by 2,3 EUR for individuals and 16,2 EUR for companies per month.) In the country, where torrent traffic is in a grey legal area, poorer segments of society were also mobilized on 26 October, 2014 resulting in a mass demonstration of 13-15 thousand people in Budapest on a Sunday evening. Without question, the mild violence at the end of this event, resulting in broken windows, a destroyed fence and a large pile of used electronic stuff helped the story to pass the news threshold of the red-eyed albino hedgehog.

The Cherry on Top

Mr. Zoltán Kovács, head of international communication of the government got engaged in an awkward catfight on twitter with Mr. André Goodfriend, current head of the US Embassy in Budapest. It speaks for itself.

This picture was taken on 28 October, 2014 during the second large mass demonstration against the internet tax. Estimated attendance: 35-40 thousand. On a Tuesday evening.

October 28, 2014

[hungarianmemento]

Bloodshed, Tears, Endless Green Fields

It is truly frustrating to be a Hungarian football fan. You cheer for the Tragical Magyars, a team that has not participated in a single international tournament since '86. A team that suffered its biggest ever defeat just a year ago (a decent 1:8 against the Netherlands in a WC qualifier, where nothing was at stake for Robben&Co.). A team, which at the same time has a glorious history of 2 (two) World Cup finals (both lost in ’38 and ’54). A team with a reputation somewhere between Jar Jar Binks and a glass of warmish Fanta wild raspberry.

That is not a training.

Nothing seems better if you take Hun club football (despite this fascinating example of rivalry). The domestic league ranks 31st among 53 UEFA members (just ahead of Kazakhstan and Moldova, while nemesis neighbors Romania and Slovakia take spot 15th and 30th). "The last man standing" in international competitions this year, Diósgyőr waved goodbye to the Europa League already in the beginning of August (again, a decent 1:8 aggregate defeat against the Russian P-league side Krasnodar). Above it all, the almost empty stadiums (2913 spectators on average last season), or the sometimes unbearable quality (just see this one) do not make Hun matches a trendy middle class entertainment. Chances of meeting a possible L’Oreal model therefore are rather low. But still, there are a good 30 thousand maniacs every weekend, who think it is worth time and money to see for instance the Messi of Madocsa live.

Politics and football, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G

A former professional, once 2nd league player Mr Orbán loooves this sport. Since 2010, his government has poured a tremendous amount of money into Hungarian professional football (an estimated 519 million euros is to be spent merely on stadiums until 2018). New world class stadiums, more quality international players, so a revival is knocking on the door, right?

No. Really, not.

Just like anti-government and anti-internet tax protesters, Hungarian supporter and ultra-groups also hit the streets and boycotted matches during this turbulent weekend, protesting against the new regulations that were imposed from the beginning of this season. Believe it or not, it became a real challenge to make it to a match. 

In order to buy a ticket, you have to be a proud owner of a certain team’s fan card (all personal data and in some cases a vein scan is also required to get one). Of course, if you are already a fan of "Team A" you are not allowed to get another one for "Team B". If you prefer liaisons to marriages, you can inquire a general Hun Football Fan Card.

If you are a "Team A" card holder you watch the home matches from home team sectors and away matches from sectors for away supporters. Polygamists are only allowed to book tickets in special Football Fan sectors.

 Quite clear. Where is the problem?

Most of Hun teams are still struggling to survive, short of personnel and financial resources, and also probably learned about marketing from Brezhnev’s Collected Works.

A lot of teams only issue cards between 12AM-4PM strictly during working days. Ticket offices usually operate in the same timeframe. Oh, you have a job? The new rule is fed up with your complaints!!!

 The new rule respects loyalty and hates levity. Polygamist’s cards are momentarily issued only in Budapest.

The new rule hates diversity, individualism and curiosity. Let's say, you are a "Team A" supporter, your friend is a "Team B" fan, while the third friend just “likes football”. You want to watch your team’s match live together. How dare you?! Imagine the biggest possible blasphemy. "Team A" plays a derby against "Team B". You would love to see your friends face after a "Messi of Madocsa" goal. Both teams are on top positions, so the derby is expected to be a cool one. Then the third friend wants to join. Eventually, you end up watching the game in 3 different sectors. Not to mention that probably half of the seats will not be occupied.

The new rule respects order and hates mess. The Hungarian Football Federation (MLSZ) decided to impose hyper-strict regulations for what they consider matches “with extraordinary security risks”. In most of the cases, it refers to Ferencváros, the most successful Hungarian side, usually associated with its aggressive right-radical organized supporter groups. In order to watch the clash "Örökrangadó" (Eternal Derby) against MTK Budapest (the most popular club among Hungarian Jews) fans had to acknowledge the following conditions: 

The Football Federation gave a September 15 deadline for every club until they could sell tickets also to non-card holders. Way before the deadline, they made an exception with this match. There was no ticket sale on the day of the match. MTK Budapest supporters could book one in advance during the weak on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday between 4PM - 7PM each day at the clubs remote stadium. Ferencváros ticket office was more generous being open until 6PM every day, but in return the fans were only allowed to approach the stadium by club organized bus shuttles, with a last departure time 1,5 hours prior to the kick-off (the stadium is an app. 30 min. car drive from the centre of Budapest).

I personally lost track of this nonsense. Are you still surprised that a mere 800 attended the match?

October 27, 2014

[hungarianmemento]

No More Longcats :'(

The government is officially anti-swag. There is no other explanation for its new tax proposal, which would put 150 HUF tax (approximately 0.5 eurocents) on each already started gigabytes of internet traffic. And we all know where swag comes from: less net, less swag.

What is particularly interesting that this obviously disliked plan came out just days after the US-Hungary “I’m not letting you in" scandal (and surprise, surprise, the news about the travel ban basically disappeared from the headlines).

So back to the tax plan. Apart from the fact, that the internet just blew up hours after the big announcement, news websites and other meme factories started working, providing decent calculations of what it could mean for the average Hungarian internet user (for the witty comparisons, we shall thank 444.hu)

1 EUR = around 310 HUF

Downloading the Hungarian Constitution: 0.2 MB = 0,02 HUF

Latex Catsuit Lesbian 69 (5:07): 25 MB = 3,75 HUF

1 hour of Battlefield 3: 65 MB = 9,75 HUF

5 seasons of BluRay quality Breaking Bad: 209750 MB = 31462,5 HUF

We’re going to miss all this very, very much. Not to mention the endless imguring and pointless rickrolling.

BREAKING!: Soaps, deodorants, office papers and artificial flowers will also be taxed.

October 21, 2014

[hungarianmemento]

No Country for Lazy Scanners

2 Things You Should Do If You Want to Win on a Radio Frequency Tender

Prove that the money you have on your bank account will be undoubtedly spent on your radio’s operational costs.

Before submitting the digital version of your application on the required 6 Compact Discs, (sic!) make sure that you do not forget to scan the blank back sides of your documents as well.

Yeah, that is how the National Media and Infocommunication Authority justified the rejection of Tilos Rádió’s ( ‘Forbidden’ - initially a pirate broadcaster has been in tha house for more than 2 decades, enjoying high popularity among mostly young-urban-socioliberal folks due to its independent, alternative and radical tune) application for the renewal of their good old 90,3 Mhz frequency.  Assuming that the requirements posed by the Authority were only referring to pages that ‘accidentally’ got blank e.g. due to Word’s stupid formatting methods, Tilos guys did not scan all the 467 backside pages.

Just for comparison: Hungary’s – eventually failing - proposal to win the joint bid for EURO 2012 with Croatia, which has become quite a colorful story for conspiracy theorists, contained 13 400 pages.

October 21, 2014

[hungarianmemento]

Purpose of Your Visit?

The United States imposed a travel ban on approximately 10 people from Hungary. Why is that important? Because among the "dirty-almost-dozen" we can find the head of the Hungarian internal revenue service (NAV) along with two of her colleagues (who have not denied the news so far), Mr. Árpád Habony (famous for kicking pensioners, also advisor of the prime minister on who-knows-what issues), Mr. Péter Heim (head of the "Századvég Economics Research" institute, close to Fidesz) and others, not named.

Above: Mr. Habony (left), Mr. Andy Vajna, whom we can thank several Terminator movies, and Mr. Bertalan Havasi, chief of communication for the prime minister. Source: nol.hu

"The US authorities have not disclosed any evidence or a full ban list, therefore we cannot consider this neither as a serious issue, nor as a joke" - said Mr. Antal Rogán, leader of the Fidesz MP group in the Parliament.

Let's just assume that the US was not specifically in a joking mood when issued this ban, since the the country rarely applies this sanction on countries that are technically allies, and also members of the EU. And by rarely, I mean never.

Why?

Originally, the first drops of the case were presented as the ban is only a reaction to the continuous NAV inspections on US companies, but as later turned out, the roots are much deeper. According to US officials, these people were directly, or indirectly involved in corruption cases, offering American companies to participate in briberies or exclusive tax exemptions for financial benefits on the Hungarian market.

Apparently, poor yanks are not really familiar with the "magyar virtus" when it comes to business.

Mr. Szijjártó, minister for foreign affairs and trade suggested that "the US wants to put pressure on the government with this decision" and wants proof. What can I say, he is a damn smart midfielder.

October 20, 2014

[hungarianmemento]

Oh, Captain.

It seems that the guys at the Hungarian Socialist Party (MSZP) still have some sense of humor, as eventually they didn’t really kick Mr Tibor Szanyi - European Parliament MP and the leader of the party’s delegation - in the ass, since they accepted his apology and just warned him for his recent Gójgate.

Mr Szanyi (up, on the picture), commonly called as Szanyi Kapitány (Captain Szanyi) in the political folklore, is an iconic figure of Hun politics, who earned his fame as a confident and straightforward Socialist macho-extravagance, the only guy left in this poor party who would actually have the guts to go out for an ustawka with Fidesz MPs. Actually, Szanyi was the only opposition politician in the whole country, who managed to beat a Fidesz candidate in a single-mandate electoral district on the 2010 Parliamentary Elections. Fair enough, Captain.

In the other corner of the ring in the Gójgate you have the Gój Motorosok (Goy Bikers)  motorbike club, a bunch of surprisingly anti-Semitic and racist  right radical dickheads, who regularly organize motorbike parades in random places of the Carpathian basin, wearing T-s with the map of historical Hungary or simply with slogans like “I’m a goy” or “You Fateless! Leave us alone”. The story is that Captain Szanyi entered a heated debate with a Goy Biker in a TV program about the outcome of this year’s MP-election. Eventually, they made a bet:

 If the leftist opposition wins the elections, the Bikers invite the Captain and his campaign team for a decent dinner in a Budapest restaurant.

If Fidesz gets a 2/3 majority again, the Captain will invite 12 Bikers for a 2 days visit in Brussels, paying their travel, accommodation and meals.

Guess who won the bet:

So the Captain had to make a choice and he decided to keep his word. He - in return - asked for discretion (no press) and a change in the Bikers’ original plan, i.e. to take a plane (of course on his account) instead of riding to Brussels. Not knowing, what was the original intention of the Captain, the Bikers walked straight into the trap. Arriving in the not-so-sunny capital of Belgium, the MP’s staff didn’t treat them well: following a short guided tour to the Parliament, they even “had to beg for some refreshment” and finally, proving his utter generosity, the Captain reserved a ‘table d’hôte dinner’ in a mid-town restaurant. Feeling fooled, they asked the Captain to give them 600 euros for the next day to have fun on their own, which request was turned down by our hero, even blaming them for being greedy.

At that point, the Bikers already figured out what was behind the Captain’s behavior. As an MP, he could only account the total cost (2700 euros) of this visit on the EU’s budget under the presented conditions. No wonder that soon a pretty detailed travel log appeared on the Bikers’ FB-page. The story made headlines, and the idea of “feeding Nazis on German tax payers’ money” was also too much for the sensitive souls of the socio-liberal electorate camp.

Not too surprisingly, as an initial reaction the Captain tried to hold the ground, and even called a curious journalist simply a “rat” on a press-conference.

Oh, thou, poor Socialist Party, where is thy old glory and what else should thou endure?

Trying to save the remnants of their common reputation, Szanyi hold an “i-made-a-mistake” press-conference, shaking hands and personally apologizing to every media representatives present. He admitted that what he did is unacceptable by the European values and the phrase “rat” slipped out, because the sharp critics made him too emotional. He will also pay the money back to the EU. While the Socialists assembled the Ethics Committee, yeah, which was too coward to punish one of the Party’s last Big Shots.

They’re still scratching their heads, wondering why have they received only 25% on the general elections.

October 16, 2014

[hungarianmemento]

Thrilled Nation

That is true in all its sense. Today is the election day of the local governments in Hungary. This fact, by itself may not seem interesting, but a relatively long series of events make it an unforgettable chapter of the Hungarian Fairy Tale.

Fidesz, a conservative party, does not have a single counterbalance on the leftist side, but there are at least 3 parties (the Hungarian Socialist Party, the Democratic Coalition and the "Together - PM") competing more or less together. Obviously, they were forced to nominate a single candidate for the mayor of Budapest. Mr. Ferenc Falus (formerly the director of the National Public Health Service - so basically a boring doctor) was the privileged one to challange Mr. István Tarlós (independent, but strongly supported by Fidesz), the current mayor. Mr. Falus later challenged something else:

The Challenger (Hungary, 2014)

This imprudent act was one among the many reasons that he resigned as candidate, pushing a bit closer the opposition to the edge of the cliff.

Events on the oppositing side worth mentioning

- Mr. András Váradi, neighbour of Orbán in Felcsút challenged the local mayor as an opponent, claiming that "Fidesz pillaged the whole country". He was killed in a hit&run accident a day before the elections.

- Mr. Gergely Karácsony, candidate of "Together-PM" (so basically the leftist opposition) in a district of Budapest. His quote of "hating the socialists more than Fidesz" is all around the district on billboards.

- Mr. Péter Juhász (Together-PM) got the fancy nickname "drug abuser" and "pothead" since he was a known activist of marijuana legalization.

- The current candidate of the left (!) for Budapest mayor is Mr. Lajos Bokros, a hard-boiled neocon economist, being famous for his large budget cuts he initiated as finance minister back in 1995.

Oh, and Romania did not defeat us in the EURO2016 football qualifications (final result: 1-1). A big thumbs up for Pali Dárdai!

October 12, 2014