Hungry Chef

>30, T-Woman, She/Her

[hungrymaneatingchef]

I've always wanted to compare free range meat, to cage reared meat to hunted meat. Luckily there are so many delicious people out there, I'm sure I'll be able to enjoy all three.

[hungrymaneatingchef]

Are your dms open to people who'd like to become meals for you?

- @diary-of-a-whimpery-mutt

Of course! Always happy to have more meat for the table!

[hungrymaneatingchef]

When I have some time off work I always wish I had a nice cabin in the woods.

Somewhere where I can take a close friend for a romantic getaway. A friend who mysteriously disappears while I post elaborate but vaguely described food pictures to my social media.

[hungrymaneatingchef]

Look, I'm just saying that the wall in my living room is looking pretty bare and the your head as a trophy would really tie the room together.

[hungrymaneatingchef]

It should be legal for me to cook and eat like one person a month.

[hungrymaneatingchef]

One of the best things about being a chef is talking to prey about what recipe they want to be used on them.

I start to think of them in terms of that recipe rather than as a person.

"Oh my honey roast ham has sent me a message"

"The souvlaki wants to play a game tonight"

[hungrymaneatingchef]

I you didn't want me to eat you why are you made of meat?

Checkmate scared livestock in my kitchen.

[innumerable-eyes]

It's so unfortunate that any girl who would let you kill, butcher, and eat her would also taste terrible because she's been basting in stress and depression hormones her entire life

[hungrymaneatingchef]

The trick is to really care for you meat for at least 6 months prior. Make her feel loved, warm and happy. Throw in a few massages to the mix and when the time comes that meat will be delicious!

Either that or brine the meat after butchering, that tends to work with a lot of meats.

[hungrymaneatingchef]

Love or hate summer, you have to admit that it's perfect weather to cook a meat slut over coals!

[hungrymaneatingchef]

Lunch breaks would be so much more interesting if I was eating my last meat slut on my sandwiches.

Nobody knowing what or who is between those two slices of bread.

[hungrymaneatingchef]

It's a crime that they don't make paper ruffs (turkey boots) big enough for people.

[hungrymaneatingchef]

The world is heating up, why not get a ahead start and jump into my oven?

[hungrymaneatingchef]

Decided to make this blog because I've been so hungry recently.

So if you're reading this, this is your sign that you can do it! You can be the food you were meant to be!

Juicy

Delicious

Mouth watering

Meat!