I.AM.HUNTER.

Just an idiot running around with a big heart

[hunner808]

Do you wanna heal and grow with me?

[twitblr]

[caralhizada]

[jewfrogs]

this shit sucks i wish i was having gay sex

[hunner808]

I can’t rely on you. But it’s hard because, who else?

[hunner808]

I’m gonna be missing you for a while. Hope you’re okay.

[hunner808]

Everybody be really hating their exes. Is there a way to still be nice? Probably not because boundaries get mixed. Being human is so messy.

[hunner808]

I want you to show up randomly and I wanna take you down.

[hunner808]

I can’t wait to have a wife that’s proud to be with me

[hunner808]

I’m sorry it took me too long to realize your wisdom. I’m sorry it took me too long to simultaneously miss and want your presence. I’m sorry I was selfish, in everythbig- my emotions, our emotions, our issuea, solving my issues, relying on your stability for the both of us.

[sheabutterbitch]

Anything I want is already mine

[lyrics-genius]

Jay Z - Smile

[hunner808]

I wanted to make things right with my girl. For the both of us. We both deserve to feel safe and understood. I hate that we created so much heaviness with each other. I truly truly wish we could start fresh.

[borderlinereminders]

You don’t have to be positive all the time to prove you’re trying or healing. It’s okay to just say “this fucking sucks right now”. No one is positive all the time. Please don’t expect that of yourself. 

[hunner808]

Uhh this is not what I wanted and it sucks.

[hunner808]

I’m starting to get in my head again. It’s hard to want to be checked up on cause that feels super selfish and filled with ego. I text and ask how these people are doing and it’s hard for no one to do that for me? Maybe they think they don’t have to because I always reach out to them? 

I feel like Dani’s replacing me. I guess it’s okay. I can just move on from everyone and everything I know and start again. People are meant to be fluid in life and I that has always been my hardest lesson in life- letting people go. So maybe it’s time to choose rather than wait for it to happen. All of these people are not showing up in the ways that I’d like them to so maybe it’s time to call it quits. Everyone always thinks I’m okay. I’m starting to really get into my head again. Feel sad again. Nothing can really fill that void other than myself I guess. It’s like I keep myself busy. Try to fill the time with things I need to do like working extra, getting ready to move- all the shit, and yet I still feel unfulfilled. I miss having people around that cared to be around. Cared to check in. Maybe I’m creating an illusion? Maybe these people never checked in on me. Maybe I kept it going? Maybe I make it too easy for people to be here for me. I don’t know but I fucking hate feeling like this. Everything is literally going as planned. It’s all minor details but I feel so fucking SCARED. Which might be shifting all of the energy around because when I was confident about the decision, everything was shifting in the way of the decision. I need clarity, creativity, joy and ease. 

What am I happy about myself? That I’m taking a class and I’m going to be finished. That I created this move within one month. That I was actually able to manifest a good side job that I can go in on my time and work how I want to. That I’m going to move into a cute home with nice homies that actually want me there no matter what the reason is lol. All in all, I need to enjoy the time with my family that I have and I need to stop worrying about people caring about me. They do- we’re just adults and everyone has shit going on. Stop comparing yourself and let things flow JUST LET IT FLOW. You really need to spend time with your demons and accept them. It’s okay to be alone, that doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. Your ego is making you think you are alone because these important people don’t check in. If the relationship is ending then at least you have some great memories to look back on. Amber won’t always be there, she’s going to grow a family really soon and when that happens, you wont have her to rely on. Mon is moving on and becoming her own person, be happy for that. Brady is creating her space and doing what she needs to. Just breath and take it easy. Enjoy your famliy time. 

[hunner808]

18 days 2020

At times, I miss pussy.

[hunner808]

Just got into with the entire family. Synopsis? I'm the toxic one. It don't matter if I was speaking up for my sister, I'm problematic. This is why this move is necessary. I need to get out and give these people peace. It's not worth it. Of course I love them and will miss them, but I'm causing too much negativity and il. Time to leave.

[hunner808]

Hard day today

I just feel sad and idk why. I'm going on a trip tomorrow and this feeling is deep in my gut. I have no motivation and I just want to sleep. I'm confused cause this past week was fine. I have no issues other than when I sink into my feels because of my thoughts. it's ok. Tomorrow will be so fun. This next week will be fun. Take it slow but give yourself grace.