Hey, STFU.

A project created by Hunter Myers in response to all the ignorant bullshit women hear and witness on a regular basis.

[hunter-si-myers]

You know, I understand that it can be difficult for some individuals to grasp the notion that names don't have genders. Oddly enough, it is only men who've asked me if "Hunter" was my real name and I'm shocked each and every time. ⠀ Of all the names I could potentially choose, do you really think I would pick one that would have dumbasses asking me all the time if it was my real name??? No. I don't have time for that shit. ⠀ If anyone ever asks you if your name is your real name, I highly encourage you to respond like this. Then, walk away as the person you were speaking to tries to figure out what the fuck just happened. ⠀

[hunter-si-myers]

"I was doing a road trip by myself through the Mojave desert and I met a woman who was 'impressed' that I was traveling on my own as a woman, she said that I was the first woman she met doing this road trip all alone. It scared me and also made me so angry that this was something to be praised, every person (WOMEN INCLUDED) deserves the safety and security to travel in solitude." -Jessica

There have been many times I've wanted to take a trip alone but hesitated due to "safety concerns." Having said that, there have only been a handful of times when I was actually traveling alone that I didn't feel safe. Yes, unfortunately, women are taught they need to protect themselves far more often than men are (especially far more often than men are taught not to harm women). They're also taught to rarely go places on their own. To that I say, if you want to take a solo trip, absolutely do it! It can be one of the best experiences of your life. You know how to be safe. Hell, you've been taught how to "be safe" your whole life. Get out there and live, girl! You deserve it.

[hunter-si-myers]

“Look, being a woman is tricky. There's no one way to do it, and we don't have much room for error. The scrutiny is tough and having allies is necessary. That's why it's so detrimental when a woman takes advantage of another or insists that her experiences be forced upon another woman's. I see it often in my professional life, but the impact is just as damaging outside of work. I've been told that I should dress ‘more feminine’ to be more respected, that I should ‘pretend to not care so much’ to make other people more comfortable, and I've been reprimanded for being ‘too direct’; when these directives come from another woman, it's even more disorienting. When anyone tries to make women look a certain way, sound a certain way, or think a certain way, we all lose. Let's not do that shit anymore.” –Laura

I couldn’t have said it any better. We are all on our own paths, and experiencing those paths differently. It’s time we stop telling other women how to live their own lives.

If you’d like to be a part of the project, reach out to me on Instagram @hey.s.t.f.u and follow along there if you don’t already!

[hunter-si-myers]

“My uncle came out as gay over ten years ago and decided he no longer wanted to be called by his nickname and instead preferred his birth name. His nickname simply being the shortened version of the name on his birth certificate. My mother doesn't believe in being gay and doesn't like his "coming out name" (read: birth-given name) so she calls him his nickname. When I told her to use his preferred name, she said she used his nickname for 20 years, and I was being a disrespectful bitch.” –Jenelle

Let’s take a moment to remember to respect people’s identities. If someone you knew had been going by Timmy for 20 years then decided they wanted to go by Tim because it sounded more professional, you wouldn’t bat an eye. You should have the same respect for people who want to be called something different because of their sexual orientation or preferred gender. Your beliefs don’t have control over what someone else can do. For the most part, respecting people is encompassed in just about every belief system… so you might want to better look into yours. In the meantime, call people what they want to be called. It’s not that fucking hard.

[hunter-si-myers]

“I’ve dealt with severe pain thanks to my arthritis for about four years now, and while it doesn’t affect me all the time anymore, it’s bad when it does. When it hits me out of the blue, not everyone understands how this can happen and why I don’t talk about it as much. I don’t want this disease to be what defines me. Recently I ran into a situation that hit me in the gut. I’m a college student and had to miss class one day because of a flare up in my knees. I couldn’t walk and explained that to all of my professors. One professor emailed me back with a snarky response saying ‘I guess that sounds legit and you can be excused.’ There seemed like a hint of doubt which alarmed me but I brushed it off. That is until my grade changed hours later from an A to a C+ in the class for missing class. Surely its a mistake that could be fixed by me explaining in person why I had to miss class that Tuesday. 

Nine days and several attempts to reach out to him later, we finally got to meet during his office hours. After barely speaking for more than a few seconds about how this situation has been upsetting, he proceeds to raise his voice over mine. ‘YOUR EMAILS HAVE BEEN VERY RUDE! EXPECTING A RESPONSE WITHIN TWO TO THREE DAYS IS UNREALISTIC! YOU ARE LUCKY I’M YOUR PROFESSOR AND NOT YOUR EMPLOYER BECAUSE YOU WOULD BE FIRED FOR THIS!’ I just wanted to explain what was going on with my arthritis. I couldn’t speak for ten minutes because he proceeded to interrupt me every time I tried to. When I eventually got to speak up I explained my arthritis…and told him I just wanted clear the air by explaining my absence instead of over email. He was still clearly heated and didn’t want to step back from his defensive stance and told me ‘arthritis is not a condition I would think I need to be sensitive about.’ He eventually half apologized by saying it was both of our faults and then told me I needed to clean up (referring to my blotchy face from crying) before coming to class. I’ve let people walk over me and directly and indirectly call me a liar about my arthritis, and this time I didn’t want to be stepped on any longer.

It sucks that standing up for yourself in the most professional way can lead to you being pegged as rude, defying the status quo and disrespectful. I’m glad I stuck up for myself but it’s given me time to reflect on others who have faced similar or worse circumstances. I can’t imagine what women of color face in this exact same situation...it’s not right. All women should be believed for their pain. Sticking up for yourself, especially toward authority should not be met with degradation. Believe us and support us.” –Ingram

Statistically, women are already less likely to be believed when we say we are in pain or something is wrong with us. The likelihood of this happening goes up even more if you are a woman of color. To discredit a woman’s symptoms because you don’t think they are “bad enough” or something you need to “be sensitive about” is a prime example of you falling into the group of people that continue to perpetuate the notion that a woman doesn’t know her own body and can’t be trusted.

Ironically, women also statistically have a higher pain tolerance, so while you’re over there bitching because your nuts got tapped, we’re over here trying to convince our doctors that our uteruses feel like they are being pulverized in a rusted blender while we walk on fire and swallow glass… but hey, we probably don’t know our own bodies, so–by all means–please tell us to go home and sleep on it. Fucking ridiculous.

[hunter-si-myers]

The holidays are among us which means one of your relatives will likely bring up politics or something offensive (knowingly or not) at the family gathering. You will rant and rage and leave a hell of a lot angrier than you originally intended. Don't let this get your holiday spirits down! INSTEAD, make politically charged art!!!!

If you identify as a woman and would like to clap back at the bullshit this holiday season, follow along and DM me on Instagram @hey.s.t.f.u

It’s super easy to get involved!

[hunter-si-myers]

“I took my Uncle to the doctors office for a follow up, and while sitting in the waiting room, a very nosey nurse began questioning me.  

Nurse: Aww she’s so pretty, are you babysitting?  

Me: No, she’s my daughter.

Nurse: Oh, I never would have guessed by looking at her.  

Me: (Death stare. trying desperately not to cuss...because I’ll be quickly labeled as the angry, over emotional, loud, black woman).

Nurse: She must be mixed.  

Me: Hmmhmm.  

Nurse: What’s the dad?

Me: 1/2 White, 1/2 Mexican.  

Nurse: Oh, that’s why she has good hair. Is the dad still around???

Me: Yea I think so, we see him everyday until he leaves for work.

Nurse: Ohhhhh y’all are still together, that’s so good for the kids. Are y’all going to get married?

Me: We’ve been married.  

Nurse: Oh that’s so good to hear. Congrats on your family.  

Me: (Giving a blank stare, contemplating if that that was a real human interaction.)

Stop asking ‘WHAT’ my kids are because we have different skin tones and hair texture! They are fucking humans, and that’s all you need to know!” –Robin (An Uncomfortable Woman)

You know what they say about assumptions… for the sake of everyone involved, keep yours to yourself. Assuming that someone is or isn’t something (whether that be a part of a family, in a specific career position, or otherwise) is not determined by how they look. This nurse made a very clear ass out of herself when she chose to not only make one assumption, but a solid 3-4 on top of using dehumanizing remarks like “What’s the dad?” Don’t make the same mistakes she did. Think twice before opening your mouth, treat everyone with respect and most importantly don’t be a fucking idiot by making assumptions.

Check out the independent film Robin will be starring in and donate to the indiegogo at https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/an-uncomfortable-woman#/

[hunter-si-myers]

“Gave a man some money. He proceeded to follow me until I got to a place where I wasn’t alone.” –Carsen

And people wonder why women often go places in pairs. Why we often talk about how uncomfortable we are, how unsafe we feel. Following a woman is never okay. I don’t care who you are or what she gave you. If you notice a woman start to pick up her pace while you’re walking behind her, or she keeps glancing over her shoulder, give her some space. Even if she doesn’t show you these signs, chances are she’s watching. Give her some fucking space.

[hunter-si-myers]

If I had a dollar for every time someone said something like this to me, I’d have enough money to have hairstylists maintain my buzzcut. This particular interaction went as follows:

Him: “No hair to pull?”

Me: “You can pull my butt hair.”

Him: “I’ll pluck them with my teeth”

Me: “Ever plucked a shag carpet with your teeth?”

Him: “No” (Then he finally left me alone)

Not only is your remark about my hair absolutely ludicrous, it also shows me that you can’t look at me without thinking something sexual. We aren’t gonna fuck. Get over it and focus on pulling your own hair. Hopefully, it will help get your head out of your ass.

[hunter-si-myers]

“I’m not your babe or your prey.” – Hannah

AGAIN, catcalling is not okay. It’s not flattering or cute. Quite frankly, comments like these are terrifying to receive. Imagine if you were walking around, possibly alone, and a man yelled this at you. Would you think to yourself, “wow, what a nice guy”? No. You would likely think “What the fuck!?!” and then proceed to realize how unsafe it was to be in the area because the man yelling it at you is likely bigger than you are. Then you’d soon realize, if nothing stopped him from yelling those obscene things at you what will stop him from acting on them? 

This is the constant fear women live in. Do us all a favor: shut the fuck up.

[hunter-si-myers]

“Always, always, always remove the cross stitch ventilation thread from the back of your blazer entirely, otherwise your supervisor might fondle your ass to remove the dangling thread that might be ‘bothering’ him…” –Dolores 

It truly breaks my heart that women so often have to deal with predatory men. On the streets, at home, while at work. It is outrageous. What makes it worse, is the ridicule these women face while speaking up about it. This is what allows men to keep behaving in the unacceptable manner they have been for years.

[hunter-si-myers]

Just the other day I was delivered a massive wake up call when an individual I know, one with multiple daughters, shared something online questioning the credibility of Ford in the Kavanaugh case. Normally, I wouldn’t waste my time arguing with someone online, however, I was compelled this day to give a possible answer as to why Ford didn’t go to the police 30 plus years ago. As the discussion/argument between the two of us and a handful of others unfolded, I found myself in tears. Not because I can’t hold my own in a debate, but because I began to lose hope. He, like many others, found it more important to put politics ahead of humanity and perpetuate the notion that a woman cannot be believed when she discloses her trauma.

Little does he know, a woman in his family was sexually assaulted by her grandfather. She was not believed by her family, but was told the man was touching her because he loved her. After receiving this response, she kept quiet for 20 years with no intention of bringing up the assault to anyone else. When this man was about to be granted a leadership role at a young girl’s camp, this woman–my mother–broke her silence. She went to the church in which he held other leadership positions and relived her trauma–not to “ruin his career” or to “seek revenge,” but to save other young girls from the same fate she couldn’t be saved from.

I strongly believe this is what Ford is doing. Breaking her silence to save the rest of us from a fate she couldn’t escape.

It is time we start believing survivors. It is time we give support. It is time we listen.

Thank you, Mom, for being courageous and allowing me to share your story. You are my world.

[hunter-si-myers]

“My story is a little different. I hear negative remarks and disrespectful jokes about genital herpes almost on a daily basis from both men AND women. The stigmatization that genital herpes is dirty and shameful makes it almost impossible for those living with genital herpes (that’s 1 in 6 people!!) to come out from hiding and live their truth. My sexual history does not define me nor should it be considered ‘a joke.’ I am not ashamed of my journey or my body! So fuck your stigma.” – R.

This is an incredibly important point to make. The stigma circling genital herpes and sexually transmitted infections makes it very difficult for people to want to speak up. Not to mention the isolation one feels once diagnosed. You are not alone. You are not dirty. You are human. Anyone who tells you otherwise can go fuck themselves. They’re not worth your time.

[hunter-si-myers]

It really doesn't matter where we are. If I don't give you permission to put your hands on me, you had better keep them to yourself. This goes for any woman. In fact, you should practice this with any person. Thanks.

[hunter-si-myers]

“‘You are really pretty for a fat girl’...... Bye.” –Bethany

Again with the backhanded compliments. We don’t want them. To say we are “pretty for,” “smart for,” “funny for,” anything “for” a certain kind of person that you otherwise disregard, is rude as fuck. Take those petty little phrases of yours and shove them right back up your “small for someone who’s often referred to as a jackass” ass. Thanks!

[hunter-si-myers]

“‘You’re pretty for a black girl.’ When I hear this I cringe and then call them on it and say things like: ‘As opposed to what?’ It’s so frustrating to me that women of color can’t just be pretty, they have to be ‘pretty for…’ I can’t wait until we can move past this.” –Aitriona

It is frustrating enough to have stupid qualifiers added to the compliments women receive, but when that qualifier is often used as a means of oppression and degradation, it’s time you sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up.

[hunter-si-myers]

"Some creep from the bar found me online. I didn't even tell him my name and he found me. I guess he took a class with one of my roommates one time, but she said she didn't really know him either.

[He approached me and] was like, 'Oh, you have a boyfriend?' 

'Yes I do.'

'Well, when he isn't around what do you do?'

'I work and go to school. We have lives.'

Then he said, 'Do you like well-endowed guys?'....

He is now blocked." – Kelley

I'm just going to put this out there: this is NOT how you approach someone, ever. Don't fucking walk up to people and start insinuating how big your dick might be. I can assure you, unless we bring up the subject, we don't fucking care. Period.