Michael After Midnight: The Career of "Weird Al" Yankovic, Part 2 (The 90s)
Read Part 1 here!
The 90s aren’t usually what people think of when they think Weird Al, but it’s actually the decade where I think he really came into his own artistically. From the mid 90s onwards, Al managed to produce nothing but solid work even at his worst, with the extra time he got between albums to work on things paying off. Unfortunately, he had to get through at least one colossal low to get there… but boy was it worth it, because he bounced back with some of the best work of his entire career.
Oh, and not to disappoint... I can't cover The Weird Al Show because I never watched it. I'm sorry if the picture up there misled you.
OFF THE DEEP END
This was the only album I hadn’t listened to before doing this review, so it was interesting to see how Al dived into the 90s after his career kind of hit a wall at the end of the 80s. Starting recording for this wasn’t exactly fun and games either; both Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney reluctantly denied Al the ability to parody “Black or White” and “Live and Let Die” respectively, leaving Al at a momentary loss… until a grunge band from Seattle by the name of Nirvana exploded in popularity, and inspiration struck him like a bolt from the blue. A phone call to Kurt where he assured him the song was not about food later, and Al crafted one of the finest parodies of his career: “Smells Like Nirvana.”
The song is an absolute joy, the best of Al’s parodies that take a direct jab at the artist it’s spoofing. The lyrical content is entirely about how cryptic and indecipherable the lyrics of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” are, to the point where there’s a line in the song that even has the music video’s subtitles stumped. It’s an amazing song… and unfortunately, like “Eat It” before it, it kind of overshadows the rest of the album.
But again, these are not bad songs. “I Can’t Watch This” is a borderline case, as Al is clearly not confident with parodying rap quite yet, but I think some of the puns in the lyrics really help make it worthwhile (my favorite being his line regarding Twin Peaks where he says “I wish they’d Lynch those doughnut eating freaks”). “The White Stuff” is a solid song, but it’s also a parody of an incredibly mediocre NKOTB song so your enjoyment really hinges on if you think Al’s Oreo-themed lyrics make up for everything else. “Taco Grande” is the rare parody that is leagues better than the song it’s spoofing—in this case “Rico Suave”—and is impossible to listen to without wanting a fat burrito afterwards. But the most interesting parody is one of Al’s few double parodies, the Milli Vanilli spoof “The Plumbing Song,” which spoofs both “Baby Don’t Forget My Number” and “Blame It On the Rain.” Considering how that band is one of the only musical acts to be successfully canceled despite their crimes being far less egregious than someone like Chris Brown, the song almost feels like an original at this point with how the songs it lampoons have been unpersoned from the radios. It feels like foreshadowing for “Handy” decades later, so I kind of love it. They ought to toss it onto a Mario movie’s soundtrack. There’s also a brief, secret parody of Nirvana’s hidden track “Endless, Nameless” on the CD and record versions of the album, a little snippet called “Bite Me” that plays ten minutes after the final song just to be sure you’re still awake.
The polka medley here, “Polka Your Eyes Out,” is definitely one of his better medleys; a good rule is that if the medley starts off sounding exactly like one of the songs in it to the point where it tricks you, it’s probably good. It’s a very solid lineup of songs, with Billy Idol and Vanilla Ice coexisting in the same list… but really, it’s worth it for the completely out of left field inclusion of “I Touch Myself.” Not since he included “Relax” in the medley from Dare to be Stupid has a song so unashamedly raunchy been tossed in. And it’s not even the closer! He just throws that chorus in a few songs before the end so you can barely process it before “Ice Ice Baby” hits! Brilliant work of art.
The originals here are mostly solid, though they don’t stand out quite as much as I’d like. “Trigger Happy,” his Beach Boys pastiche about being a gun nut is a lot of fun, as is “When I Was Your Age,” but songs like “Airline Amy” and “You Don’t Love Me Anymore” just don’t hit as hard for me (though they’re still solid songs). I think the best original song here is “I Was Only Kidding,” which is the anthem for every “It’s just a prank, bro” jerk to ever exist. It’s a riot and it has aged like fine wine, and it makes “You Don’t Love Me Anymore” even better if you view that as a sequel to this song.
Overall, this is really solid start to the 90s, nothing more and nothing less. It definitely got Al back and track and gave him a chance to evolve, but I don’t think this is his best work by any stretch even if it’s all very good stuff.
Best Tracks:
1. “Smells Like Nirvana” – A really great parody that has aged very well, but it unfortunately eclipses most of the rest of the album.
2. "When I Was Your Age" - One of the most rocking songs Al ever made, and it's him channeling his inner boomer.
3. “I Was Only Kidding” – “It’s just a prank, bro!” stretched out into a hilarious song.
THE FOOD ALBUM
The first of two compilation albums that Al absolutely despises, seeing them as cheap money grabs that existed only to make the label money. This, of course, is what makes them worth talking about; Al is a famously chill guy, so him having contempt for something is pretty interesting. Still, there’s not really much one can say about an album that is quite literally just reheated leftovers.
One may notice that “Girls Just Wanna Have Lunch” isn’t here, which is for two major reasons: The first is that Al had to pick one song to leave off the album for it to be profitable due to a “royalty ceiling.” The second is tied into the first; this was an easy pick to leave off because Al hates the song for having its recording forced onto him by his label. “Waffle King” was also left off despite being recorded for Off the Deep End, but that’s mainly due to scheduling issues and not anything malicious.
I think the best thing about this compilation is the artwork, a passive-aggressive protest on Al’s part showing a grotesque monster picking him clean for its gluttonous satisfaction (gee, wonder what that could be a metaphor for). Said artwork was done by Doug Lawrence, who you may know better as Mr. Lawrence, a writer and voice actor who probably helped mold your childhood if you’re a millennial and who is most easily recognized as the voice of Sheldon J. Plankton himself.
Other than that… I mean, I hate to say it, but this is actually a pretty solid compilation album. Yes, it’s forced and unnecessary, and I totally get why Al dislikes it, but getting an entire buffet of his food-related songs and being able to listen to “Addicted to Spuds” without having to endure the rest of Polka Party’s parodies is pretty great. “Eat It” is on here, but because there’s so many other bangers it doesn’t overshadow the whole thing like it did in In 3-D and songs like “Lasagna” and “Spam” really get to shine in ways they weren’t able to on their original CDs. I don’t think this is truly necessary to own unless you’re a completionist, but I think it’s decent enough where you aren’t going to regret it if you do pick it up. A good collection of songs is still good even if the circumstances around it aren’t.
ALAPALOOZA
I am not going to mince words here: This is the worst album of Al’s career, bar none.
This is a bold statement considering I already talked about Polka Party, but as weak as that album was I was still able to find a handful of really strong original songs buried under the lackluster parodies and mediocre polka medley. Here? I genuinely struggled to recommend anything save for the most famous song on the album, because it really is just excessively weak.
“Jurassic Park” is the shining star of this album, with a stop-motion music video and a great summary of the plot of the film set to the deliciously melodramatic tune of “MacArthur Park.” It’s almost worth the price of admission for this song alone. Almost. There’s also “Livin’ in the Fridge,” a food-themed Aerosmith parody that deals with what happens when you live food in the fridge too long. Of the four parodies on the album, these two stand out as being exceptional entries in Al’s catalogue, and yet they are sadly overshadowed by two of his most abysmal. “Achy Breaky Song” is the less offensive one; a parody of Billy Ray’s one hit, it’s all about how listening to that song is an absolutely torturous experience that the singer would rather not endure. It is one of the most nasty and mean-spirited songs Al has ever done, eclipsed only by “It’s Still Billy Joel to Me,” so much so he made it so all songwriting proceeds went to the United Cerebral Palsy Association. Considering Cyrus has become a pretty unpleasant guy as the years have gone on I’m not too broken up by him being put through the wringer, but some of the other artists who catch strays as the less painful alternatives in the song rub me the wrong way. ABBA and the Bee Gees? Really?
But while that song is a bit of a middling but still partly amusing song, there is nothing remotely defensible about Al’s “Bedrock Anthem.” A double parody, with the opening spoofing “Under the Bridge” before going into a parody of “Give It Away” (both by the Red Hot Chili Peppers), the song is about The Flintstones… and it is not particularly inspired whatsoever. It just feels very lazy and cynical, like Al really wanted to get on the soundtrack of the 1994 movie (which he did). This is one of the few times an artist responded negatively to a parody; while they did like his work, RHCP were not impressed by the parody, and Flea would even say this about it: “I didn't think it was very good. I enjoy Weird Al's things, but I found it unimaginative. It wasn't that great. Yabba Dabba Doo. I like Weird Al and everything. But you know everyone is hit or miss, except for me, of course.”
The only things worth mentioning about this song are that the music video was Al’s first full video directing debut, and the Bee Girl from Blind Melon’s “No Rain” music video reprises her role in the opening. That’s it. Beyond that the song is just a lazy hodgepodge of references to the show with little rhyme or reason, and the chorus is gratingly cliché. “Girls Just Wanna Have Lunch” at least has the excuse of being intentionally bad; this is bad by complete accident, and that makes it 100% worse.
Now, this is where I would say the originals save this like they did with Polka Party but… no, honestly they don’t, even if they’re mostly pretty good. “Traffic Jam” especially frustrates me since it’s a style parody of Prince, and you can feel Al’s frustration with Prince’s legendarily humorlessness; you know he wanted to do a full, actual parody and not just a stylistic pastiche. “Talk Soup” is one of the better ones, a wholly original song that kind of feels like a riff on “Dirty Laundry” except Al wasn’t taking shots at people criticizing him for letting an underage girl overdose in his house like Don Henley was. “Young, Dumb & Ugly” is a fun little style parody of AC/DC that wouldn’t feel too out of place in their discography, and “Frank’s 2000” TV” is a pleasant stylistic riff on R.E.M.’s early stuff, and “Waffle King” is a solid take on Peter Gabriel. My issue isn’t that these are bad songs—I think they’re pretty fun—but none of them are good enough to make up for how genuinely awful “Bedrock Anthem” is. Nothing here is quite on the level of “Christmas at Ground Zero” or “Dog Eat Dog,” which unfortunately really holds this back. This album really needed a genuinely great original or two to put it over Polka Party, and it just lacks that. At the very least, it does close out with one of the most unique polkas in his career: “Bohemian Polka,” a full cover of “Bohemian Rhapsody.” If you’ve ever wanted to listen to that song but don’t have five and a half minutes to spare, this is for you!
While this isn’t a wholly irredeemable album, I think it’s shockingly lackluster with the lowest low of Al’s career that is only barely ameliorated by highs that just aren’t high enough. This album needed a genuinely big parody smash hit or a stellar original to save it from the bottom of the barrel, and it just doesn’t provide that. It’s a shame, but they can’t all be winners.
Best Tracks:
1. “Jurassic Park” – Perhaps the only genuinely great song on the whole album. It’s kind of sad it had to be stuck on this CD, because I’m a sucker for the Al parodies where he recaps a whole movie.
2. “Livin’ in the Fridge” – It kind of surprises me Al only did one Aerosmith parody in his career, but this is a pretty fun one. I wouldn’t call it a soaring height of his career or anything, but I think this would’ve fit nicely on The Food Album.
3. “Bohemian Polka” – Maybe it’s not intentional, but this comes off as a nice tribute to Freddie Mercury in the wake of his passing. It’s also pretty novel to see a polka cover of a song like this.
PERMANENT RECORD: AL IN THE BOX
Yet another compilation album, this time of Al’s favorite songs from his first eight albums. Considering I have already talked about all of those albums, why even bother bringing this up? Well, for some reason, this album was the debut of the single “Headline News,” and said song would not appear on an actual album until Medium Rarities in the Squeeze Box set in 2017—which, funnily enough, was another box set.
“Headline News” is a parody of the Crash Test Dummies 1993 hit “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm,” which you may remember for its use in Dumb & Dumber or perhaps for it being one of the quintessential 90s one-hit wonders (though only by the technicality of having a single remembered hit in the United States, as they had more success in Canada and the UK). The song’s subject is three of the biggest tabloid stories of the time, much as the original song told the story of three different bizarre kids; Al sings of Michael Fay being caned in Singapore, the Tonya Harding incident, and Lorena Bobbitt emasculating her husband. Now, you might look at these and think there is an obvious issue: All these stories are incredibly dated now, and even when the song was made these were oversaturated in the news.
I do think that’s kind of the point, though, that the gag is that Al is just contributing to this nonsense getting more airtime under the guise of it being ‘headline news’ when it’s anything but. Al has said as much, joking that he "wanted to write a song about these people because he didn't think they're getting quite enough media attention." As time has shown, the latter two stories actually had a bit of staying power, with the Harding incident spawning an acclaimed film starring Margot Robbie and Sebastian Stan while Bobbitt got a bristle worm named after her and the dubious honor of being mentioned in Fall Out Boy’s atrocious “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” Also her ex did porn. The only one of these stories that has really faded from public consciousness is the first, but thanks to that it does make the song escalate pretty nicely.
Overall, this is a really good song and it’s a shame its entire existence has been relegated to a bonus track on box sets. It’s definitely worth seeking out, especially for the wacky video (keep your eyes peeled for that Dr. Demento cameo).
THE TV ALBUM
While it’s clear Al isn’t fond of this one either, it seems he has a bit more of a positive outlook on this compilation, saying "the record company was a whole lot nicer when they asked the second time" and that there was "more groveling [and] less demanding" when it came to throwing this compilation together. Still, you can see Al’s opinion of this plain as day on the album art (courtesy of Mad magazine cartoonist Jack Davis), which shows Al gleefully detonating a television set.
Because of the lack of drama, this leaves little to talk about here besides the track list which is… honestly not too amazing. Al’s early songs about television were not exactly his most inspired output, and while it’s nice hearing “Frank’s 2000” TV” free from the sludge of Alapalooza and seeing “I Lost on Jeopardy” outside of the shadow of “Eat It,” I don’t think either thing is worth suffering through “Bedrock Anthem” or “Here’s Johnny” to get to. The lack of “Isle Thing” has always baffled me, as both “Ricky” and “The Brady Bunch” are on here and there’s no indication he had to cut something like last time. The far more scattershot quality of these songs than on the previous themed compilation also leads to the good stuff being dragged down; sure, maybe it was good on its own album, but when you have to listen to it crammed in with the scraps of Al’s weakest output it just doesn’t work. Not helping matters is that unlike with food, Al doesn’t really have a big, definitive TV song. Sure, there’s “UHF” or “Beverly Hillbillies,” but as much as I like both of those I can’t really argue they’re on the level of “Eat It” or “Fat.”
I think the issue here is a lack of cohesion. The Food Album at the very least has a consistent theme—every song is about food or eating food with the exception of “Fat,” which is not only at least related but cleverly leads into the rest of the album. Why is Al fat? Here’s your answer! This album starts off with Al’s worst parody ever, “Bedrock Anthem,” before going into “I Can’t Watch This,” a song that would have served way better as either the intro (to set a tone of Al flipping through channels) or outtro (to kind of show Al has given up on watching TV). The whole thing even more than The Food Album comes off as a cheap, lazy cash grab with little to no thought put into it. I can’t really recommend this one, unless you really want that cool artwork on your shelf.
BAD HAIR DAY
Now THIS is a true Al-bum! This is the moment where Al truly achieved his perfect form, a parody artist who can make funny spoofs and great original works across the board. The increased time he had to work on this made this his most polished work up to this point, and he would continue to deliver incredibly solid work from this point on—no album after this point is something I would call bad. Al brings some seriously strong songwriting to the table here, and nowhere is that more clear than with the song that opens the album: “Amish Paradise.” Despite the minor beef it caused with Coolio due to a miscommunication that led Al to believe he got the blessing from the man himself to parody “Gangsta’s Paradise” (which he doesn’t even need, Al’s just a class act), this is genuinely one of his finest parody songs ever. It is just an absolute riot, a lighthearted ribbing of the Amish community that feels like a precursor to how South Park would end up treating Mormons.
Of course, the other parodies are no slouch either, even though they definitely ran the risk of an “Eat It” situation! While not his most well-known tracks, his U2 spoof “Cavity Search” and his TLC sendup “Phony Calls” are very fun, and his “Syndicated, Inc.” which is a parody of “Misery” by Soul Asylum is a truly underrated track that would have easily made The TV Album worthwhile if it had been on it. Then there's "Gump," where he sums up the movie Forest Gump to the tune of "Lump" by the Presidents of the United States of America, and it is genuinely one of his best "sum up a movie" songs, surpassing "Jurassic Park" and maybe even "Yoda." “The Alternative Polka” is also one of his better medleys; while it is sorely missing that “Buddy Holly” clip, it does have Al singing the chorus of Nine Inch Nail’s “Closer.” Yes, you get to hear Al say he wants to *BOINK* you like an animal, and that’s no exaggeration because he pulls out some wacky sound effects to keep his mouth clean for this one.
But this album also has some of his best original work to date, a true harbinger of how good his originals would be going forward. In fact, this really is the moment that cements him in my mind as an artist who could easily do a whole album of originals and no parodies and still have it be good. “I Remember Larry” is a personal favorite, a tale of a childhood bully that veers into beautifully cathartic black comedy in the final verse, and of course how could I not love Al’s take on the style of They Might Be Giants that is “Everything You Know is Wrong?” “Callin’ in Sick” is a fun style parody of the entire grunge movement right as it was going out the door, and “Since You’ve Been Gone” and “I’m So Sick of You” are fun little anti-love songs.
The crown jewel, of course, is his second coal-black Christmas comedy track, “The Night Santa Went Crazy.” A style parody of Soul Asylum that sounds so close to their song “Black Gold” it might as well be a straight up parody, it tells the tale of a drunken Santa going on a bloody rampage through the North Pole. It is extremely gruesome and messed up, doubly so if you’re listening to the special cut that ends with Santa getting Kirked, and it is an absolute riot. It might actually be better than “Christmas at Ground Zero,” which is a truly impressive bar to clear if I’m being honest.
Overall, a fantastic album with no real weak spots that heralded a new age where Al pretty handily put all killer and new filler on his albums. This also marked the end of his classic look, as he’d grow out his hair and get laser eye surgery for his next album. We are truly in the golden era of Al now, one where he gets more time and care to craft the best comedy songs you’ve ever heard. And boy, does that really show on the next album...
Best Tracks:
1. “Amish Paradise” – Mild controversy aside, it’s really hard to say this isn’t one of his funniest parodies ever.
2. “The Night Santa Went Crazy” – Pitch-perfect Christmas black comedy from Al yet again. I think he should just release one deranged Christmas song every decade, because he’s so damn good at it.
3. “Everything You Know is Wrong” – The closest that Al and They Might Be Giants will ever come to crossing over.
RUNNING WITH SCISSORS
Once again, I will not mince words: I think this is Al’s best work, his magnum opus. This album is almost entirely comprised of bangers, to the point where picking three to recommend was a tall order—this album is that good. But why is it such a good album? Well, the way I see it, it’s because this is Al’s edgiest work to date, with black comedy and general humor edging into the hard PG or light PG-13 territory. As always, there’s nothing worse than what you’d see on The Simpsons or in Mad magazine, but some of the jokes here are a bit more colorful than Al’s usual fare which helps this album stand out in a good way.
To demonstrate that, I am going to go song by song and give my thoughts on each of them (as opposed to quick and broad reviews), because to really understand this album we need to dive into all it has to offer.
The album opens insanely strongly with “The Saga Begins,” Al’s musical recap of The Phantom Menace set to the tune of “American Pie.” This is, without a doubt, one of his best parodies ever and deserves to held up alongside “Eat It” and “Amish Paradise.” Not only is it a funny and topical reimagining of a classic song to summarize a film with pinpoint accuracy, it is genuinely far superior to the movie it’s about! You could genuinely listen to this as a substitute for watching The Phantom Menace and all you’d be missing would be the pod race and the final duel with Maul (which you can easily look up on YouTube). Just an incredible way to open an album, he really hooks you from the first minute.
Next up is an original, “My Baby’s In Love With Eddie Vedder,” an original and accordion-heavy song about a man whose lover has become romantically obsessed with the Pearl Jam frontman. I used to skip this one a lot, but upon relistening I honestly found it absolutely delightful how it lampoons the angst of grunge singers despite their absurd success while also being a showcase of Al’s accordion skills and how they’ve improved over the years. Despite the seemingly harsh jabs to Vedder, it’s pretty obvious this is just playful ribbing, especially once we reach the song’s punchline. Not a highlight of the album by any means, but it is a fun little number.
Now we move on to another parodic masterpiece: “Pretty Fly for a Rabbi.” If you’re worried about this song seeming too offensive, don’t; Jewish people apparently love this song, adopting it as their own to the point it has fueled rumors Al is Jewish. It helps that the stereotypes present in the song are all pretty positive to neutral and are delivered in a way that establishes that the subject is pretty fly (for a rabbi), and the whole thing really plays into the self-deprecation that is part of Jewish culture. I almost want to say this is better than the original; that song had vocal backup from Chum-Chum, this one has prolific voice actress Tress MacNeille and Sheila Broflovski herself (Mary Kay Bergman) giving vocal cameos. I think we know which set of voice actors comes out on top here.
Next we come to “The Weird Al Show Theme,” and… this one is pretty self-explanatory. It’s the theme song from The Weird Al Show. Not the strongest track on the album, but it is a funny theme song and, if it had come out early enough to make it on The TV Album, it would have improved that compilation significantly.
Now comes one of the more contentious tracks on the album, “Jerry Springer.” A parody of the Barenaked Ladies’ smash hit “One Week,” this is about the schlockfest hosted by former Cincinnati mayor that pioneered trash TV and helped keep the spirit of freak shows alive in the living rooms of people in the 90s. Because of this, Al uses some rather outdated terminology, such as “Hermaphrodite,” “shemale,” and “midget” within the song; while these are pretty offensive these days, at the time they were… not great, but less seen as awful, and within the context of the song they actually fit very well because this is the kind of stuff that would be said on a normal episode. To his credit, Al no longer performs it because of the aforementioned terms, but I still think this is a genuinely great song, and it is absolutely the song The TV Album needed to be worthwhile; this is to Al’s TV songs what “Eat It” is to his food ones.
“Germs” is a song I overlooked so much as a kid, but I think it’s because I didn’t appreciate Nine Inch Nails as much as I do now. A stylistic parody of “Terrible Lie” with a bit of “Closer” sprinkled in, this captures Reznor’s style perfectly while delivering a hilarious tale of a paranoid germophobe. I honestly think Reznor could perform this live and nail it, that’s how well Al replicates his style. Definitely one of my favorite of Al’s originals nowadays.
“Polka Power!” is an unassuming sleeper hit for the album, and a large part of that is because you wouldn’t normally expect one of his tried and true polka medleys to be this good. But by some miracle, he picked the perfect batch of contemporary hits to throw together in a way that flows beautifully together and sounds amazing. Spice Girls into Harvey Danger, Backstreet Boys into Smash Mouth (and not the obvious song, either), “Semi-Charmed Life” and “Sex and Candy” sneak into the song, and it all wraps up with “Closing Time.” Maybe the reason I adore this so much is because back in the day I saw a truly impressive AMV set to this song. It brings back very fond memories of a better time on the internet every time I hear it, but even that aside it’s just a pretty perfect medley—the only flaw is that Marilyn Manson is in it, but his music sounds better when someone with talent and no history of domestic abuse sings it.
Maybe it’s just because of my fondness for Sailor Moon, which was a huge part of my childhood and had a lot of AMVs for songs from this album including this one (“Jerry Springer” has a good one as well). Maybe it’s just because 90s ska is really cool. Whatever the case may be, “Your Horoscope for Today” has always been one of my personal favorites when it comes to his originals. It’s just a fun and brutal lampooning of the absurdity of horoscopes with tons of Al’s delightful black comedy and absurd humor mixed in. Great, great song.
Al’s topical humor does lead to some of his songs becoming incredibly dated as the years go on, and few cases are quite as extreme as “It's All About the Pentiums”—and yet, it is that same datedness that makes it so endearing. The very title is an artifact of its time, as it wouldn’t be long before the Pentium brand went the way of the dodo, but the rest of the song has Al boasting about so many absurd, baffling specs for his computer that it manages to still be pretty ahead of the curve. We still don’t have flatscreen monitors 40” wide or 100 gigabytes of RAM as the norm, after all. If nothing else, this song lets you listen to a Diddy song guilt-free, so it gets major points for that alone, but it really does coast by on how charmingly late 90s it is (and again, I find that the core appeal of the album as a whole).
Now we get to the single most controversial track on the album: “Truck Drivin’ Song.” It’s exactly what it sounds like—a truck driving country song—with a twist. Said twist is that the driver is either trans or a drag queen. At first glance this seems shockingly cruel for Al, but in all honesty the song isn’t nearly as awful as the 90s could get to those who walked outside of gender norms. In fact, the subject of the song is pretty cheerful and well-adjusted by any read of the lyrics; they’re just a truck driver who loves wearing women’s clothing and mascara and so on. It’s sort of a modern day spiritual successor to “The Lumberjack Song.” I think the song is trying to go for the sheer absurdity of a queer person in a manly profession singing a manly country song, and that dates it pretty badly as this sort of heteronormativity is challenged, but if taken at face value it is actually a very positive anthem to rally behind. You go girl, drive that big ol’ truck with your high heels on!
Now we’re on to yet another song that would have greatly improved one of the forced compilations with its presence. “Grapefruit Diet,” a parody of Cherry Popppin’ Daddies’ swing revival one-hit wonder, is kind of a sequel to “Fat” in which our protagonist gives up fatty food and goes on the titular diet to lose some weight. Naturally, this means it would have been a perfect way to end The Food Album and bring things full circle. It definitely helps the song he’s parodying is such a fun little tune, which makes this a lot more listenable than you’d expect. I actually never liked this one much as a kid, but now that I enjoy some swing and eating grapefruits (and also have been losing weight to counteract years of unhealthy eating), it definitely speaks more to me.
And finally we reach the final track of the album, and what might very well be Al’s original song magnum opus: “Albuquerque,” an 11-minute epic that is like The Odyssey if it was absolutely insane. The song is a style parody of the Rugburns, specifically their epic-length song “Dick’s Automotive.” Now I need you to go listen to that song, and then listen to “Albuquerque,” because let me tell you it is one of the most bizarre experiences you will ever have. There are so many sequences from that song that are directly spoofed that this one is almost a direct parody. Despite its length, you never really feel it thanks to the absurd twists and turns Al’s story takes from his youth being forced to eat nothing but sauerkraut to his ill-fated plane trip to Albuquerque to all the nonsense he gets into when he finally arrives in New Mexico. The only contentious bit of the song is where he describes an encounter with a “big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock of Seagulls haircut and only one nostril.” Again, it was a neutral term that is incredibly outdated and kind of offensive today, and frankly them being a hermaphrodite is less egregious than having a Flock of Seagulls haircut, so it kind of flies right by. And once more, to Al’s credit, when he performs this song live he decides to go off on a side tangent apologizing for the use of the word and explaining why he used it back then, adding on to the song’s colossal length. The twists, the turns, the absurd scenarios, and that final punchline… This is arguably one of the crowning achievements of Al’s career.
This album is incredible, and it’s incredible because it could only be made by Al at that one specific point in time. This is something that could only come out in the twilight of the 90s, the end of the decade of anti-political correctness and edginess. This is as dark and edgy as Al would ever be willing to go in his music, and frankly it isn’t all too egregious even with that in mind. It’s just a fun, wacky reminder of better and weirder times punctuated by a few moments that are just a bit too dated for their own good, where even the weaker songs are still pretty darn good. Maybe it’s a hot take, but I really, genuinely believe this is his finest work.
Best Tracks:
1. “Albuquerque” – This might actually be Al’s magnum opus. It is an epic-length odyssey of pure absurdity and insanity.
2. “The Saga Begins” – A parody so good, you can actually substitute watching the movie it recaps with listening to it and nothing will be lost.
3. “Polka Power!” – Perhaps Al’s best polka medley ever. Every song just flows into each other so well.
And now, here’s how these albums rank:
6. Alapalooza
Genuinely Al’s worst album. It has one truly abysmal low and then nothing good enough to pull the album out of the muck like Polka Party did.
5. The TV Album
A truly monumental waste of potential that would have benefited from being released in the mid 2000s, where “Jerry Springer” and “Couch Potato” could give the album something to write home about.
4. The Food Album
The better of the two pointless filler compilation albums. Great album art, all bangers, and even songs that I wish could be on it that came out too late wouldn’t really make the album much better than it already is—they’d just be overkill.
3. Off the Deep End
A very solid start to the 90s that unfortunately has a similar issue to In 3-D--the big song kind of overrode the while the other tracks kind of languish in its shadow.
2. Bad Hair Day
This is where Al achieved creative perfection. This is Al as he should be, with nothing but solid songs all across the album.
1. Running With Scissors
Al’s magnum opus. A beautiful snapshot of 90s humor filtered through the mind of Al Yankovic, with some of the strongest writing of his career.
