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@hvllscpes
a dependent muse blog for pinehavenfm ! tortured by courtney ! 28, aest.
*WINNIFRED CELESTE LANCASTER. overachiever & rising booktok star. "want a review of your favourite book? #leave a comment below !" ( intro. pinterest. wanted. )
Ollie's grin only widened the longer Winnie talked. She always brought a warmth to the room that was effortless and charismatic. He leaned his elbows against the counter, chin resting in his hands while she skimmed the menu diligently. "Take your time. I don't know that there's a single bad thing on the menu, honestly. Except for the controversial stuff, like anchovies and pineapples. There's always someone trying to start a debate about that." Ollie's eyebrows shot up at her challenge, laughter spilling out of him before he could stop it. "Those are bold words, considering I left out that they're all extra larges with stuffed crust. "I admire the confidence though. It's dangerous, but admirable." He laughed again as he sought the words to explain how they'd ended up with extra pizzas. "That would be the Pauly special. Sometimes he loses count or track of what he's already done. And sometimes I think maybe he's a little delulu. But you didn't hear that from me," he supplied, pretending to zip his lips. Poor Pauly could never get anything right. Ollie almost felt bad for him. His expression softened at the compliment, Ollie's playful smile shifting into something gentle and sincere. "Thanks, Winnie. That makes two of us, you know? Don't tell anyone, but you're definitely my favorite customer."
her lips curled up in mild disgust at the mention of anchovies and pineapple on pizza; whoever thought either of those belong on pizza truly needed to reevaluate themselves. “There is no debate about it, point me towards them and i’ll tell them how neither belong on absolutely anything. If that labels me a hater, then so be it.” winnie throws her hands up in defence, though she was never afraid to voice her opinion – even as the young new girl on the playground all those years ago when she first moved to pinehaven, forcing other kids to be her friend. “Are you laughing at a girl and her dream to eat three extra large stuffed crust pizzas? My, my. You’ll be eating your laughter by the time I’m done with them.” Now she’s done it – sealed her fate into eating three pizzas even though Winnie knows for a fact she can only get through one; silently cursing Pauly for making such a grave mistake. She let out a bell of laughter at Ollie’s next words, a grin lighting up her face. “Hear what from you?” she asked overly innocently, “see, your secrets always safe with me. I’d have no one to tell but Vivi anyway.” But she truly never minded not having a lot of friends since coming back; experiencing the downside of having too many and how much trouble that could really fucking get you at NYU. “Aw, you really are just the sweetest. But don’t worry, I’ll tell absolutely everyone I know.”
accepting all ask memes here !
FULL THROTTLE, 34 in a 75. driving a stolen pick up truck in a baby driver situation where he's not sure what he's doing, but all the windows are down and he's replaying a TOP 5 BEST GTA FLIPS montage from memory in his brain. that's how jj feels when it comes to winnie lancaster. if he's not experiencing some sense of adrenaline regarding their new found ….. ?????? then he's truthfully not doing enough. he's never done drugs — okay, he's smoked fucking weed is this a crime now seriously god damn can he live can he have that — but he wonders if the amount if dopamine he gets from even not having her hate him for being in the same circle of ten feet. does she hate him? maybe, but she's not acting like it, so a win is a win in a chronic loser's book. a shrug. “i mean, i guess they do. they'll probably off to go suck face with each other or something. not that i wanna play fuckin' fifth wheel, you know?” that used to be them, back when he was younger and more stupid. now he's older and still stupid, so not much has changed beyond the most important part. eyebrows raise. “well now you're gonna have to tell me this weeks total, because it sounds like you might have a problem here.” a shrug. sometimes, and maybe this is the same kind of self-deprecating people have been on his ass since preteenhood to go see a therapist about, because it's hard to believe people want him around when they could have literally anybody else. literally anybody. “maybe not, but it's, like, at some point i feel like it's gonna happen. you know? inevitable or something. maybe not by her, but, like, in general. gotta prepare that shit early.” he doesn't even know what he's on about anymore. the energy shifts — enough for someone as socially inept as jj thinks he is to pick up on it. he's not going to make a mountain out of a molehill, but he will make a boulder out of a pebble. “that's so booooooooooring, win, what the fuck?” acts personally offended. as if winnie told him he was the ugliest guy she'd ever seen with that cute little smile on her face - offended but endeared, because of course she'd do some boring shit on her birthday. classic. “absolutely the fuck not. we'll do something - even if i feel like that spot's already gonna be taken. dibs by vivi or somethin'.”
winnie truthfully can’t remember the exact moment jj had been thought of as more than a friend; until they were more than friends and she felt like there were times she couldn’t live without him. young, dumb and in love with a whimsical idea of forever — until forever also disappeared from the grasps of her fingertips. jj had knocked the gravity from under her feet all those years ago and it was hard for winnie to admit she still feels like she’s trying to get her balance back right. even now, standing in close proximity to him she feels the pull towards him; the want to lean against his shoulder like old times when they’d walk this festival hand in hand, to shove him lightly when he inevitably makes her laugh. but she can’t ignore the tendrils of unspoken feelings gripping her heart tight, squeezing deeply every time winnie gets too comfortable around jj. she hates this feeling of the unknown. a visible yuck in the form of a scrunched face at his comment, giving him a look to say, really? “your friends sound so… fun. love that for them, i guess.” we did that too, once upon a time. suddenly the grating feeling of being old hits winnie like a deer in the headlights and she clears her throat. “well now i feel like you’re judging me, so you don’t get an exact number,” pokes her tongue out like she’s thirteen and not almost twenty three. “but somewhere in the double digits.” not that is anything to be proud of – but winnie’s sweet tooth have won this festival. at this point she’s under the control of the hot chocolate stand. winnie takes a moment to take note of jj out of the corner of her eyes; enjoying this momentary truce between them. eyebrows raise and she can’t help the absurd laugh that escapes her lips, because of course jj would want to prepare for a scenario like that. “i’m sure one of your friends will bail you out, if they’re not too busy ‘sucking face, or something’.” repeating his earlier words with a playful smirk dancing on her lips, before she takes another long sip of her hot chocolate. “ugh, come onnnn it’s not boring, haven’t i always said that reading can be fun!” at least tell that to her growing tiktok following, but this was a losing battle winnie had been fighting for years. “but — that sounds, um, nice. i’d like that, but you really don’t have too — if you have other plans already, like. don’t feel bad or whatever, you know?”
ITS LIKE A KNIFE TO THE GUT. really, he shouldn't be here, with her — she should be in new york. chasing dreams and erughhhhhhgghhhh seeing some kind of gross nyu fuckin' frat guy who wears polos instead of weird thift store finds. better in the night, sulking in the corner than in the daylight for all of pinehaven to see. “they tend to overdo it, i think – unless this is normal for other places to do?” jj isn't sure. “it's alright. i think i was ditched.” nose scrunches – does she want to hear about his friends? because in .. their youth .. they used to do this. they used to be the ones attending this, together, being stupid and young and cute and ugh. “today?” a laugh — yeah, that's winnie. “maybe your mom should get you a hot coco maker for your birthday then? do i need to send her a link to one on amazon? she'll freak out if i knock on your door with a printed piece of paper with in on it, probably, and i do not need a trespassing warning on my record.” a shrug. he's a little nervous, because this is winnie, and even when things weren't so frayed he was always nervous. waiting for the other shoe to drop on his head and knock him out and put him back in the real dimension where he got everything he felt he deserved. “doing anything for your birthday?" check and mate, testing the waters here.
this time last year winnie was living a different life; a different christmas with her ‘baddie’ friends that she hasn’t spoken too in months now, celebrating her birthday in a completely different fashion than what she surrounds herself with now. and its not that winnie hates being in pinehaven for a celebratory event — but she feels stuck. stuck between the life she almost grasped tightly with the fist of her hand and the life that welcomed her back as if it knew winnie wouldn’t make it in her other, more obscure and fake life she had come to adore in new york. “pinehaven overdo it? nah. not in their vocabulary, i don’t think.” pinehaven was very over the top during events, but winnie loves it. something new york would never have? a sense of community. “oh. well sorry your friends suck. they sound like they suck.” it doesn’t hurt but it does? her brows furrow slightly as winnie tries to make sense of the uncomfortable, grating feeling churning inside her. but a smile breaks out at the sound of jj’s laugh and she can’t help it; her own musical laughter soon joins his. “yes, just today. you don’t want to know how many i rinsed through yesterday,” she tries to follow his rambling about a hot cocoa maker — and honestly? it’s not a half bad idea. “i don’t think she has the heart to actually call the police on you, jj. she’s had plenty of chances; i think she liked having you around.” it slips out before she registers what she’s actually saying, then winnie’s cheeks grow crimson and she falls silent; suddenly very interested in the crack on the sidewalk underneath her feet. how does one crawl in there and — “hmm? oh, no, i don’t think so honestly. might just watch a movie at home? left it a bit too late, i think. i have a lot of books to read too, piles getting a bit high.”
WHERE: you say m, pick another location other than christmas market. and i say no <3 WITH: ………………………. @hvllscpes.
HE'S SO FUCKED IT'S SO OVER HE'S OVER IT'S OVER IT'S — winnie, standing next to him by some kind of weird happenstance. yeah, he'll call it that. christmas is a weird time. jj isn't sure how he feels about things. it's not like his family is exactly nuclear, and it's just. it's weird. okay? okay. but it also meant one thing for a few years: winnie's birthday is soon, and jack is pretty sure she's going to be in town for it ( unless some nyu guy she's seeing secretly via long distance tinder is flying her out to the bahamas or something insane because nyu guys are rich. or something else equally as unplausible jj has determined is totally real in his non-medicated haze. he should really turn on those reminders again – ) and that could mean a few things. one: she's in town. two: they're both in town. and they're both in town and it hasn't caused a total natural disaster, so maybe …. “hey, winnie,” it's quiet. uncharacteristic because usually, jj doesn't shy away from talking to anyone. but when it's winnifred lancaster, their dynamic is fractured when it used to be whole, and now he feels all sorts of topsy-turvey about it. “havin' fun?” well she definitely is not now that he is here!!!
christmas is supposed to feel holly and jolly and fun – everything winnie isn’t feeling at this present time. her birthday creeping up on her like an unwanted relative at family dinners that made the table conversation awkward, winnie stands off the side of the christmas market with her first hot chocolate of the day in hand, thoughts swirling around the glaringly obvious absence of her dad. okay it was definitely her third hot chocolate and maybe the sugar was doing something to her head, because she didn’t even notice jj until his words broke her out of her trance. “oh, hi jj,” winnie murmurs back quietly, giving him a little smile as she taps her fingers against the styrofoam cup in her hands; the only source of warmth aside from her pink fluffy coat wrapped around her. she wonders if he remembers her birthday soon – not that he should care, of course… but she still wonders. does he remember the little things like she does? “it’s my favourite season of the year i think, always a fun time. are you? you know, having fun?” she asks almost too cheerily for either of their liking, but she’s put her foot in it now. “i think the attendants at the hot chocolate booth hate to see me coming. i need to be banned from there effective immediately, jj, this is my third cup today.” stop talking winnifred.
#Relatable
WHERE: season of lights festival. christmas market. WITH: winnie lancaster, @hvllscpes.
IT COULD BE TOO MUCH. after all, sicily is almost certain any type of booth that could exist … does, here, and it's one notch from being far too much. the loops in her ears don't do much to knock out the sound, and for what it's worth, she's not trying very hard. but sicily can't resist a nice, booth - made hot chocolate. it's the only thing she'd ever drag herself out in the cold for ( sans someone … ) and pay money for. could she make it at her house? well, yes, but that's not in the christmas spirit. so here they stand: arms shivering in their light - blue, oversized hoodie, staring up at the menu. “oh – what're you thinking?” head tilts, staring at the blonde out of the corner of their eye. “i'm torn between the peppermint or cookies or cream flavoring.”
winnie was a lover all holiday festivals, with christmas being her absolute favourite of all time. hence her very cute "ugly christmas sweater" with matching christmas tree earrings -- winnie was a walking christmas advertisement that was beelining towards the nearest hot chocolate booth. and she's mesmerised by all the choices; eyes widened like sauce pans as they glaze over the menu and she just knows she'll be a repeat customer. "-- huh? oh, don't ask me that, i'm... so lost. is it too much to buy two at once? i can't decide between cinnamon blast or caramel toffee. i think i want to live at this booth." she purses her lips in thought, before shrugging. "fuck it. i'm buying two -- oh and we can do taste tests and reviews. like on tiktok but without the pressure of online opinions."
to: winnifred ( @hvllscpes ) from: by meet santa in the town square
The clock on the town hall had just struck eight, signaling the end of another “Santa in the Square” session. The line of excited kids had finally dwindled, the last few letters dropped into the oversized red mailbox with dramatic flourish, and Santa himself was waving goodbye from his velvet throne as the elves started packing up the photo props. Light snow continued to fall, catching in the glow of the massive Christmas tree and the strings of lights crisscrossing the square, while the distant hum of the Christmas market carried on with mulled wine and laughter.
Emilio let out a slow breath that fogged in the cold air, rolling his shoulders as he shrugged off the bright green elf vest he’d been wearing for his volunteer shift. His cheeks were flushed from chasing runaway toddlers and corralling overexcited five-year-olds all evening, and there were still a few stray glitter stickers clinging to his sweater from an enthusiastic kindergartener’s hug. The kiddo was in his class and there was never a chance he missed to sticker Emilio. He ran a hand through his dark hair, disheveling it further, and scanned the thinning crowd with a tired but satisfied smile.
“Another night survived,” he murmured to himself, chuckling softly as he picked up a forgotten mitten from the ground and tucked it on the edge of Santa’s chair for its owner to find. He lingered for a moment, soaking in the festive quiet that settled now that the chaos had wound down—then turned toward the path leading back through the market booths, hands shoved into his coat pockets against the chill. As he started walking, he glanced over at the approaching figure with an easy, warm grin. “Hey—you just miss the madness, or did you brave the line with one of the little ones tonight?”
Her aunt was in town and that meant Winnie was on cousin duty, despite barely knowing the two young kids, she had taken them out to the christmas market. but unbeknownst to the little ones the visit was more for Winnie than them, wanting to take time to check out everything she hadn't already, all while doing the regular older cousin fun time, though her mind was on her upcoming birthday. After an hour of them begging to get a photo with Santa she finally caved, sitting in the line for almost an hour before having to take them back home, but they were happy and that made Winnie satisfied with her older cousin duties.
She'd gone back out to pick up a bunch more sweets from the booths without their sticky little fingers grabbing them, when she saw Emilio approaching her and she grinned at him. "Oh don't you worry I lined up a little earlier with my cousins, got to see you in all your elf glory," Winnie teased with a little giggle, tugging her beanie over her ears with a little shiver. "Can you keep a secret, though? I took the opportunity to take them home afterwards so they couldn't steal the sweets I'm planning on buying later. Does that make me a bad cousin?"
ERREUR FATALE — FAUSSE MANŒUVRE. une faute lourde de conséquences. despite looking in every damn language, jj lacks the vocabulary to say what he really means: lo siento por haberte hecho eso ( i'm sorry i did that to you ), können wir das hinter uns lassen? ( can we put this behind us? ) – and most of all: do i even deserve forgiveness? starving dog chewing on a teeth-torn rawhide, scraping by on glances and stalking her damn instagram like a freak. “alright,” and it's dropped despite the ghost in the back of his mind wanting to press and press and press until she tells him what's wrong ( he knows what it is - that day he took her heart and stomped on it, childish and fearful and afraid of the future ) . vivi is right in one thing, even if her death threats do make him a bit queasy. winniefred lancaster deserves better than anything jack de - montmelier could ever give her. that's the entire reason they're in this damn mess. she was supposed to be a big shot .. book person … ? in new york city. meet some kind of hot person and become, like, editor for vogue or something, while he was supposed to stay in pinehaven – lonely and friendless and left with the haunting what if's in a late night bender on repeat 7 times a week. “well your mother doesn't like decorating, it seems,” a twitch of facial expression. something lighter, understanding. he feels bad. and sometimes, for jj, that's all it needs to be. a silent understanding that's mutual and where he learns to not run his damn mouth. “maybe i got that, uh, fuckin — ” nose twitches, thinking intensely, as if he really has what's about to come out of that stupid damn mouth, “retrograde amnesia or something? you'd deny me of that? of that small mercy?” yes, because she deserves to after everything he's put her through. is she happy? is that stupid fucking guy he saw on a post - or maybe he imagined it, fuck you jeremy - making her happy and not being a freak? it's a white lie, they both know it, but jj turns to her with a small shrug, wondering if she can read the thoughts in his head ( non so come chiedere scusa, i don't know how to apologize ) . before it all crumbled at his feet, jj swore they could read each other's minds. like winnie spoke jj-ese and he spoke winnialian. even so, there's nothing he could say to bend broken things when they're shattered into millions of little pieces.
“architecture, huh?” spoken like it's a surprise – underlying question of so you could build the bridge from me to you? keep me out of your life, because it's deserved. 42 days on foot, 8 hour flight, 2,781 miles from jj to winnie. it feels a lot farther. “not surprised by that. you're, like, the smartest person i know.” and yes it's a compliment because it's still true. damn. what's that noah kahan song? winnie went far, and she's back, and jj's confused because she should be doing … whatever it is you do with a microbiology degree and not in this rinky - dink damn town, staring at him with those big brown eyes that make jack want to shrivel up and die inside. he's looking, turned back to face the other way, out of the corner of his eye. taking stock of her like she's a drunken mirage and he' still outside, soaked by the sprinklers in a maybe day - drunk haze that hasn't worn off, and this is all a dream. new york has changed her. jj knows this — that's what happens in all the movies, isn't it? they come back more bold, brash, whatever it is that makes the city so gritty. but winnie still seems the same. different, but her core is still the same. resists the urge to say ‘i know’, and instead just nods, lips pursed and silent as it washes over the room. how do you just ignore the intricate details of someone you spent so much time with? where do you put it down? can you put it down at all, away, locked and loaded whenever the next emotional gun is needed? jj doesn't think so - he'd already done enough damage. it was only at the expense of her sanity, his mental capacity, and following the natural order of things: his parents couldn't commit to being together, his mother couldn't commit to raising him and placing it onto the shoulders of his older sister, jj couldn't commit to the fact that winnie deserved better and might meet someone better, someone who could offer her things like emotional stability and lots of money and intellectual conversation, so he let her go. a funeral in his mind, dressed in a black suit to bury the relationship they had as soon as her back turned and that damn car started. and if it reveniens ex mortuis, then, well … “well i'm almost certain everyone you met there wasn't solely an nyu student. just thinkin' practically, you should be proud.” instead of just spitting random shit out and hoping it sticks long enough to endear her. “because, it's just — ” he makes a gesture that jj isn't even sure of, because it is weird, but also he's feeling overprotective for someone who swore him off years ago – that part never dies, despite how much he wants to wish it did. “it's just weird. you never know who's fuckin lurkin', win, forreal. people can be weird.” he's watched too man dreading videos on youtube to be a normal person about most things.
deserve deserve deserve — the general consensus? absolutely not, jj deserves few things these days. a slap in the head, maybe some tires slashed, boarding school retroactively, maybe some nice praying to ensure he makes up for his carnal sins. “her rose bushes are her pride and joy?” that's .. hm. that's an interesting thing. pressing on the almost healed bruise just to feel something – painful for winnie, he's sure, but jj can't stop himself when his brain gets fixated. what does that even mean? the more she doesn't mention, the clues leading him into the belly of a weird beast that he's not welcome in, the more he wants to know. “yeah, you could say that – i think you're just scared of her.” and twinge of pride at that, because she's pretty badass and if people aren't a little scared of you, then what's even the point? head tilts, giggling. because, well – “what the hell is renotok? they just do anything on that fuckin' app, i swear,” a huff with a shake of his head, unable to hold back a bit of maniacal laughter because it just sounds so ridiculous. “sounds like what they're doin' out in the northeast. data centers and trading backyards for shared condos right on the edge of the highway. makes me fuckin' sick.” an audible gag to prove his point. another beat as thinks of what to say. a balancing tightrope of a dynamic he's not sure to, one too big for the elephant in the room to keep hold on comfortably. wants to reach across and grab the wheel, steer it back to familiar roads and be done with it. thanks to himself, they don't have that luxury, now everything is barren trees and winding highways full throttle speed limit. “you spend a lot of time nursing people at nyu? at least i was useful for something.” that's a first – despite what others might say in a pity - fueled ramble, he doesn't feel … he doesn't think he's useful for anything other than playing court jester for a quick laugh, forgotten when the real heroes come home to take their rightful place in the court. lowly, below - average, unassuming and half - forgotten by lunch time. that's what jj is. eyes roll, inaudible sigh. “i wouldn't go through your phone, winnie,” does she think that low of him? good because he wouldn't do it on purpose. maybe. he's nosy, okay? hands dig into the box, hoping and praying for a miracle of 8th street because he doesn't need to be looking like a damn fool in front of her. again. “i definitely think we'll need a hammer .. or maybe a screwdriver. or some kind of tool. i know i may look like i have like, some, fuckin' hercules muscles, but i'm not that guy.”
it’s the recurring thought winnie always has when in the quietest hours of the night that she can’t stop thinking about – they could have had it all. that couple in the high school yearbook voted most likely to stay together, or married, whatever the caption was; others envious of the endless love pouring out of each other – loudly and proudly. and yet. life was not like the romance novels winnie feeds herself her whole life; the high school sweethearts don’t last; and perhaps she isn’t as smart as she thinks. her decisions leading her back to pinehaven of all places – the one place she was always destined to leave – were definitely not in the intelligent category. but of course she can’t tell jj this, letting out a little sigh at the frustration of it all. feeling backed into a corner helplessly like a lost child even if winnie was smiling on the outside. even if her smile wavers in the slightest moments when she thinks jj isn’t looking at her. winnie can’t help but shrug at his words; he was right – her mothers attempt at redecorating the lifeless house had fallen short, she knows jj is the one person that would understand, but a small smile is reciprocated in a silent thanks for understanding, soon accompanied by an off-handish, “she’s trying but i thought i’d help her with my own dazzle, you know?” winnie can’t help the effortless laugh that escapes her lips and for a moment she could forget that they were exes, old friends – for a split moment it felt like they were just jj and winnie again. two people peacefully existing with each other. “of course you’d be lucky enough to forget all past indiscretions, how lucky of you.” she teases, but the double meaning slips out almost unnoticed and she falls silent, eyes locking with his as he turns to her. the apology never bubbles to her lips either, her mind stuck on a phrase she learned long ago – non avrei dovuto dirlo. mi dispiace / i shouldn’t have said that. i’m sorry – hoping he could understand the words that were stuck on her tongue, her mouth suddenly a graveyard filled with words she wanted to say, but couldn’t.
the guilt then eats her alive as the compliment grates against her skin after the harshness of her words and her smile falters. what do you do when you know there was less truth to those words than they thought? winnie shakes her head, as if to say you don’t even know the half of it. “that jj, is simply not true. otherwise i don’t think i’d be back here as soon as i am.” she tries to play her words off as he’s trying to lift her up in true jj fashion; but winnie feels the weights tied to her ankles bringing them back down to reality, because new york had changed her in ways he couldn’t see yet. get winnie out of pinehaven and she becomes another version of her; the secrets start building and lies start becoming out of control. she tries not to know that version of her – desperate to keep her locked in a box with the key thrown away. the pandora’s box of ‘winnifred lancaster’s bad decisions’ she had made throughout her life, yet jj had somehow remained on the outside of it. despite the catastrophic breakdown of their relationship it had never crossed her mind to put him in that category – was it the desperation of knowing what it was like to be loved that kept him safe, or was it the knowing agony of not having him in her life at all? winnie has lived both versions and looking at him now – she knows what life she prefers. a lifetime of lingering hurt to keep jj in her life was a price she was willing to pay. especially if it meant never going back to new york. “i mean… thank you, i guess? i didn’t really have time to meet people outside of parties – lectures all day, studying then… party till classes the next day.” a little sliver of new york winnie slips out and she seals the rest of her sentence behind closed lips. “are you watching too much youtube again? jj – it’s pinehaven. quite literally the safest town in the entire world – the biggest thing to happen this week was a garden gnome being stolen from the town square, which got returned a few hours later.” another roll of her eyes and winnie thinks she might lose them in the back of her head.
winnie’s become used to downplaying her importance in people’s lives, an unintentional side effect of her absence from pinehaven and her family – ever since the great fracturing of the lancaster’s it’s been… tense in the household. “well, why wouldn’t they be? she put a lot of hard work into them.” almost said defensively, even if winnie still isn’t sure where she fits in with marisa’s ever-changing plans with the house. too scared to ask once the shrine to her achievements went up the wall, so she leaves it alone for now. stares at the photos every now and then and wonders if her mom thinks winnie left her that night too. but she smiles at the thought of jj’s sister; a woman with a force behind her and she’s glad jj at least has her. “it’s a bunch of self-taught people destroying houses rather than fixing and restoring them. it’s actually so sad; some of the stories those houses told…” okay, so winnie deepdives on tiktok till early hours of the morning, so what? a laugh bubbles out of her and mixes with jj’s own, she forgot how captivating he could be without even realising it – eyes averting suddenly and winnie’s cheeks heat up. stop thinking like that, he hurt you – pulling a face at the thought of news of trading centers and condos. “i was reading on that the other night actually, i can’t believe it really.” it felt unfamiliar standing on common ground with jack james de-montmélier again. as if the cosmic force in life was trying to fix the consequences of their falling out. winnie busies herself with the silence between them by trying to take her mind off how soft his hair looked. it was ridiculous, really, how jealous she was of the idea of someone else knowing what his hair felt like too – but realistically, winnie had no right to be jealous. jj was no longer hers just as she wasn’t his. she lets out a little huff, half distracted in her reply, mumbling out a “spent a lot of time nursing myself, actually. but you’re still right, you know. about a lot of things, really.” jj was right more than he thought. right about her, about how to care for his lizard… dragon animal, winnie wonders if he knew that too. a part of her hopes he did. “well… good. i mean, i didn’t think you would but – people can take advantage. never let them know your next move, or whatever – tools? right, i definitely have those.” winnie did not sound convincing, but she disappears with light footsteps back into the kitchen – rummaging around her drawers loudly, wincing as every bang of utensil repeats against her eardrums – before returning triumphantly with a toolbox, presenting it to jj as if it were royalty jewels. sitting cross legged next to him, instructions in hand and she’s studying it like her life depends on it. “it seems pretty straight forward – oh, there’s a few screws and brackets. i think we’ll have this done in no time. oooh can i be in charge of the drill?” a brightness of her eyes and she looks at jj almost pleadingly, batting her eyelashes dramatically.
closed starter for @hvllscpes
"Hey Winnie!" Ollie greeted jubilantly from behind the counter at Tony's. The rush was over, so the restaurant was on the quieter side. At least until another flood of customers came in. "What can I get you tonight? Did you put in an order already, or need me to whip you up something?" He paused, lips curving into something more teasing and playful. "Or, if you're feeling brave, Pauly accidentally made like three extra pizzas. So if you're feeling daring and in the mood for a surprise pie, those are on the house. I mean, can't imagine he screwed them up that much, but you know..." he leaned over the counter and lowered his voice. "He's isn't the brightest bulb. And that's coming from me."
tony’s pizzeria was a personal comfort to winnie ever since she was twelve – coming in at least once a week before leaving for new york. now that she was back and settled in as best she could be, she was eager to set foot in the holiest of all places. eyes landing on Ollie behind the counter her lips split into a huge grin, giving him an excited wave as she weaved herself through a few passing customers. “Not yet – I can never decide what I want from here, everything is sooo damn good. How has the festive season been treating you though?” Winnie rambled as she scanned the menu quickly before eyes locking onto him in interest, leaning in the same time as Ollie did. “Is that a challenge? I definitely think I could eat all three to myself. Come on. Childs play.” Winnie scoffed, despite never having eaten three pizzas to herself before – but free food was free food, and she’d never complain about that. “Do I even want to know how he ended up making three free pizzas? And don’t sell yourself short, Ollie, you’re the brightest light in the room without even knowing it.”
Location: lg bean + tea Open starter! Raven knew she was no longer who she used to be. Her life had changed so drastically within the past year and she had lost everything she was used to. All that she had taken for granted. Yet now she was in a small town under her therapists orders, surrounded by those she didn't recognize, falling into a depression that was so unlike herself. The house may have belonged to the Reynault family, yet it didn't feel like hers. The red head had made one of her rare trips out of her home, trying to avoid complete cabin fever. She had opted for coffee and yet felt overwhelmed by the simple choice. Raven tugged idly on her wrist restraint before she then stepped to the side, frustrated in herself "You're welcome to go first, I can't seem to make up my mind, oddly."
It becomes part of Winnie's daily routine in pinehaven; stopping at lg bean + tea for her morning coffee before carrying on with her day, which also consisted of going back home and watching reruns of her favourite tv shows. The holidays were becoming a sore spot for her as the days grew colder and it had become a habit of hers to retreat into herself, so the tea-shop had become the spot for her daily interactions, and to also say hi to yemise.
Deep in thought about what new coffee blend to try - a habit she picked up since coming here, winnie was nothing if not a self-proclaimed expert in flavour tasting - she barely registers the voice in front of her, before slipping out a hmm? eyes finally falling on the woman in front of her, Winnie smiles as politely as her mother raised her too. "Are you sure? To be quite honest, I'm not even sure what I want yet. I decided to try a new flavour of something every time I came in here, but I can never decide," she lets out a gentle laugh as she nods to the barista in greeting. "If you want to try a risky game, you could always ask the barista to make their favourite and see if you like it."
DAISY JONES & THE SIX — Track 8: Looks Like We Made It
JJ'S THE HEADLIGHTS, WINNIE'S THE DEER. stopping in the middle of the road before a collision, they both come out a little frazzled but unscathed in the most dramatic of ways. that's how he views this right now: a crash - course in how to leave before you get left, a tedtalk on how to break the one person you care about most heart and smash it into several billion pieces individually with a mallet in a fit of toddler - akin rage. falling ten stories, no parachute. “you could if you wanted to.” like right now — but as much as he thinks he'll end out of here in a body bag, jj is not so inclined to make that happen right now. he'll give winnie the benefit of the doubt. after all: he knows her as much as she knows him. a sick cycle they're stuck in. what do you do with all the information you hold, but aren't allowed to think about now? what happens when their favorite color appears out in public, that one thing you were going to get them for their birthday sits unbought in your amazon cart? “not sayin' you are, if that's what you're gettin' after. just observing.” and excuuuuse him for being nosy — after all, he kind of has the right to ask what the hell does your house look akin to a morgue for? devoid of life of a family he knew she had - once? maybe not at all? - and replaced with white walls and barren photographs. a shrine to winnie now, once held memories of people who cared about each other. or, at least, that's what jj had thought. “i can close my eyes if you want. you'd have to hold my hand if you wanna give me a house tour, though.” he's playing a dangerous game with all this, but that motor mouth never stops.
jj went to therapy, once. it went a little something like this: sit in an office with a weird dude, some kind of weird nerdy guy with those harry potter glasses who looked at him like he was microscopic. it's kind of how she's looking at him now. something to be studied. what changed. what stayed the same. how can this person be the same person who you knew all those years ago? own eyes are glancing at her just the same. taking stock of the person who left for new york years ago, who's returned now for .. some reason. he really should. no body bag just yet, jj. brows raise. “a new room, huh? you get an architect degree while you were there? some fuckin' — uh – what's that weird creepy lady who has the target line? don't know, but she does home improvement shows. you got a new idol?” it's all in jest. if winnie takes it as one is another story. unbothered. right! riiiight. alright. “sorry, i haven't seen that since — ” well. you and me, but that goes unspoken. shifts, suddenly uncomfortable in a way jj hasn't felt in years. “not what i said. and you know that.” his own eyes roll at this. as much of the villain as he knows he is - and, it's a lot, like, actually so much it eats at him like some weird little wood bug thing - but ends up shrugging. he'll think about this interaction in his truck in the taco bell parking lot later. “i dunno, i've seen people. maybe not the people at nyu, but people.” people like him - who didn't leave their hometown and feel like a loser every day of their lives. thaaaat sounds just like town of jack de - montmelier: population, 1 loser. “so you want people to see into your home? that's kinda weird, but, like, alright.” another shrug. because he knows better than to argue with winnie too much. after all, she did kind of save his life in a weird hangover kind of way. not that he'd ever give her that noble prize of his defeat. that can linger over her head like a carrot.
he continues the charade of smiling — wicked and annoying and mischievous and devilish and all the adjectives. parts of him wonders if she genuinely is upset at him, or, upset at what he did. probably the first part if he had to guess. “i didn't know you were wanting me for christmas. i'll have to play ninja through your window again, though you can't laugh at me if i fall.” the silent again lingers, because, really, it's embarrassing and frankly he knows she'll laugh and point at him. because that's what they do. that's how they work — she reigns him in, a bit, then laughs when that reigning in doesn't work and he fails and does something terrible. it's like a ecosystem or whatever science term fits better. jj's not smart like that. and that's another thing - re: therapy. the guy had told him to list his best qualities. there were few and far between, staring at the blank page as if it'd hurt him. sometimes, he wonders what she'd say – which would she list? would she list any at all? or is this all a dead - end? “i mean, you could." a shrug. his sister's cool. a little hard headed, a little mean, a little aggravating, but she means well enough that he can look past that. and jj respects her, most of all. “she'd probably be really concerned and call your mom, but she'd get it.” after dealing with him? yeah, she'd so get it. another grin when she admits defeat. after all, that's all he wants. there's a silent agreement, following her lead and padding on the hardwood floor. “damn, win, talk ‘bout minimalism.” though jack approaches the blinds regardless - her phone in one hand and picks up a box in the other. does he mention the thank you, or does he keep it quiet? “you never knew how to hold your liquor,” and it’s actually quite endearing. eyes reading the label, squinting at it. he's seeing double himself. “right. so i'm gonna have to youtube this.”
winnie wishes it could have been different between them. if only he hadn’t broken her heart the day she left, leaving her with hours of sad playlists and a hurt in her chest that felt too heavy to carry at times, if only she could look at him without remembering the way he plucked her heart out of her chest and crushed it – but she can’t. not yet. a ghost of a smile lingering on her lips, for the very fact winnie was hiding things from jj; things he was no longer allowed to know about her, even if jj is still the one person she wants to confide in. “well i’m not,” she mutters out rather defensively, arms crossing over her chest, as if she was keeping her secrets tightly close to her; afraid they would slip out in moments of weakness. winnie knows jj has that effect on her – even now, after driving away with the pieces of her heart he had shattered all over the highway to new york all those years ago. “oh. right. and what else have you observed in your short time here?” almost daring him to mention the invisible elephant in the room but part of her also wanting to eat the question back up as soon as it escapes her lips – uncertain eyes staring at him, realising the ball was back in his side. or whatever the overused sports term was – before shaking her head in exasperation at the words falling out of jj’s mouth, hand on her hip, brows slightly raised, eyes briefly flickering down to his own. do they feel the same as they did before? “you want a house tour of a house you’ve… been inside of a million times before? it hasn’t been that long and not much has changed.” a lie and she knows it. she hates the feeling of lying; the slimy, grating feeling inside the body that makes hair stand up at the back of the neck, especially if the other knows you’re lying, and yet it sounds effortless coming from her. new york taught her some tricks after all.
she doesn’t mean to stare at him as if he was an an otherworldly figure needing to be researched and dissected, but she can’t help but compare the jj she knew from before to the one standing in front of her now. he’s taller, she thinks, and his hair is more curlier. wanting to know how he’s been even after breaking her heart – winnie’s finding it hard to know the fine line between friend and ex boyfriend. is there one? better yet, a conversation guide on what to do after losing both in one? “well of course i did, had to insert my dominance by doing a double degree in microbiology and architecture, duh.” winnie says with a twinge of humour and for a moment the air between them feels a little lighter. and then jj opens his mouth again and winnie looks away, suddenly very interested in her dressing gown pockets. wishing she never opened her mouth in the first place. it felt like a game where they both just get hurt in the end, no matter how many turns they take; there’s never a winner. just two hurt souls tied together by memories. “she was always my favourite character,” winnie offers him quietly with a shrug. trying not to argue. she had always been a girl wanting to keep the peace, despite her own feelings bubbling away inside. giving him a look at his eyeroll, she tries not to sigh and fails. “i didn’t mean it like that.” a huff of annoyance. winnie wonders what she had done in a past life to deserve this – a life filled with disappointment by the men she had loved in her life, both breaking her heart in different, irreparable ways – it’s exhausting. how many times can one pick themselves back up off the ground? winnie doesn’t want to find out. “riiiight. people. not nyu people, but people. how mysterious.” there’s always been two categories of people that winnie knew of – the ones who leave their hometown, and the ones that don’t. winnie was certain she was grouped in the first category; always having her eyes set on furthering her education in places pinehaven couldn’t offer, with her parents overbearing and strict presence pressing down on her like a heavily weighted blanket. no one ever talks about the secret third category – the people who leave town only to come back with their tail between their legs. the ones who could have made it out but didn’t. she was their spokesperson, ladies and gentlemen. step right up to see the latest lancaster failure. “why do you care so much about people seeing into my home? i have nothing to hide. or steal. unless someone wants those sample perfumes i’d bring back from vacations. or my figurines of world leaders i made in ninth grade, and i know no one wants those.” the ninth grade bullies made sure winnie knew that fact every day for the rest of the year. she never made a figurine again.
he hasn’t stopped smiling and winnie’s watching him with wary; he was starting to unnerve her… is he okay? she barely has time to think before a snort escapes her nostrils; loud and obnoxious and a hand slaps over her mouth in shock. “i think the better question would be is if you deserve me for christmas, isn’t it? don’t fall on mum’s new rose bushes though, she’ll actually disown me. they’re her pride and joy at the moment.” she doesn’t mean the sting of her words – revealing old wounds haven’t healed or whatever, but winnie hopes jj doesn’t look too hard into it. into her. but winnie doesn’t know how to stop revealing herself to him, how to make conversation without glaringly obvious openings into her life that he wouldn’t understand without an explanation; something she definitely isn’t getting into today; her hangover currently curating a drum solo in the back of her head and she winces slightly. “i appreciate that. probably wouldn’t in the moment, but she means well. your sister is a very strong person.” winnie offers him a small smile – a peace offering. a white flag in surrender, as she leans against the wall, winnie shrugs a little. “haven’t you heard it’s the trend now? i ended up on renotok and it’s just a bunch of people tearing down beautiful homes and turning them into soulless white prisons.” kind of like what she was doing now. but it had purpose, she keeps telling herself. she watches him with an almost fondness, for a moment being able to relish in the temporary peace between them. “and you have? i swear we would end up in a cycle of trying to look after each other while unable to see straight. taught me well for nyu.” moving closer to the boxes slowly as if her presence near him would shatter the illusion of truce, winnie starts to unpack a box. “okay, we need a game plan. i’ll unpack these boxes and you pull up youtube on my phone – only youtube – and hopefully these things have some bloody instructions inside. i might have a hammer somewhere if we really need it. any questions?”
❌ DO NOT TEXT UNDER ANY CIRCEMSTANCES
jj: is that an inuendo? winnifred lancaster............. jj: wow copying me. that's cute jj: well i think she's going to put a hex on me if she already hasn't. or maybe trip me in the hallway or tie my shoes together in my sleep or fill my shampoo bottle with nair or dye my hair green in my sleep or throw a pie at my head jj: hurting my car? after all the betiful memories we made in it? damn. don't hate the fuckin playa jj: might as well give kitty to fix it for like 200 bucks cause that's how much it would take to get new tires at this rate
win: okayyyy pulling out the legal names now, are we??? real mature jack demont-melier win: i know i'm cute :) win: .... win: andddd what did you do to deserve that kind of reaction? she's a sweetheart and she's the other half to my soul actually win: your phone can autocorrect to the correct spelling, please for the love of my sanity please use it win: well you have fun with that i guess. my tires are new so [shrug emoji x2]
vivienne mulled thoughtlessly around the autumnal wonderland that transformed the town square. the whimsical elements jacked up one thousand percent with the wafting scent of cinnamon sugar and whiskey; her own personal addition. there was something bitter about today that spurred the need to purge it. a little irish cocoa didn't hurt, right? she blew out gentle exhale and watched the white puffs sinking in the air in front of her. much like life, it was there for a moment before disappearing into nothingness. a knot forming in the back of her throat. the sour taste stemming from the date and all of the places she should have been but cowardly avoided. one yearly check smack dab in the middle of all of the fun?
how could she miss it?
caught off guard, vivienne teetered for a moment before stabilizing the newly joined attachment that clung to her. a soft bite of laughter bubbled off her lips at the immediate, all consuming warmth flooded her body. "is that even a request? i wouldn't call it kidnapping if I am praying to be taking away by the hottest girl in town. take me baby, take me away." she nuzzled her nose against winnie's before gesturing them forward. "it can't be any worse than last year when bobby nearly crashed into the bales of hay and destroyed mawmaw's dessert table."
vivienne's reply made winnie's own tinkle of laughter escape from her lips and she squeezed her tight, finally letting herself enjoy the day instead. that had always been a lot easier with her best friend around; a lifeline to hold onto during the most darkest times. "Your wish is my command, you're all mine now gorgeous." winnie said cheerfully, throwing viv a mischievous wink, letting her legs propel them forwards as her free hand rummages in her pocket to pull out a small, silver flask. expert fingers twisting the top open, taking a sip of the vodka she'd funnelled in earlier quickly, before it disappeared back into her pocket. "those poor, inedible desserts. it was a truly, horric tragedy that day. sometimes i still sit and think about how delicious they would have been."
mournful words paired with a solemn sigh, winnie shakes her head wistfully before the moments over and she lets out a snort at the memory. "i say we get fresh new ciders, some snacks and go to absolute town. and tell me," winnie pokes her in the side, "what's been going on in the land of viv. i feel like it's been forever."
❌ DO NOT TEXT UNDER ANY CIRCEMSTANCES
jj: right because u need to kno every thing smarty pants jj: ok so jj: can u tell ur guard dog jj: that I AM NOT THE DEVIL [SENT WITH SLAM EFFECT] jj: i will go to ur house and flirt with ur mtoher if not
💔☹ JACK.
win: you know i need to know everything, its like a hunger win: insatiable win:... wow that's so totally NOT dramatic at alllll [sent with wavy effect] win: and did you mean light of my life, absolute best friend i'd die for vivi? she's done no wrong. i don't know what's happened but she's innocent win: flirt with marisa and i'll pop your tyres :)
