GAROU. @hvmanmonster-blog - Tumblr Blog

what happens when you try and bounce a quarter off of various opm characters' asses

sonic: the quarter bounces and you get back $1.50 because his ass is just that good

garou: the quarter shatters into five nickels

saitama: the quarter disappears the moment it leaves your hand. where did it go? into his fucking change purse

genos: if you hit his asscheek it makes a clang noise but if you get it in between them a dorito bag pops out of his leg

#::{ SHITPOSTING. }#based on a discord call i had 30 seconds ago

thxunlivedlife-deactivated20160

Hit on my muse

kxmhyunarchive-blog

Are you an interior decorator? Because when I saw you, the entire room became beautiful.

Did you sit in a pile of sugar? Cause you have a pretty sweet ass.

Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

If I were a stop light, I’d turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.

If you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.

There are people who say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Apparently, none of them have ever been in your arms.

Are you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids.

Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.

I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I’m going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

I’m not staring at your boobs. I’m staring at your heart.

Can I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?

Your body is 65% water and I’m thirsty.

My doctor says I’m lacking Vitamin U.

Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.

If I were a cat I’d spend all 9 lives with you.

Smoking is hazardous to your health… and baby, you’re killing me!

You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.

Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!

You know I’d like to invite you over, but I’m afraid you’re so hot that you’ll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.

If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.

I bet you $20 you’re gonna turn me down.

I like Legos, you like Legos, why don’t we build a relationship?

Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

There’s only one thing I want to change about you, and that’s your last name.

Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

Can I borrow your cell phone? I need to call animal control, because I just saw a fox!

I’m no organ donor but I’d be happy to give you my heart.

Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

You see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I’M cute.

Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.

Are you my phone charger? Because without you, I’d die.

Are you a cat? Cause you are purrrfect

You know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my case.

My lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?

I have an “owie” on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?

Hey baby, I must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!

Do I know you? Cause you look just like my next girlfriend/boyfriend.

Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?

Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

I blame you for global warming… your hotness is too much for the planet to handle!

You’re single. I’m single. Coincidence? I think not.

Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.

Baby, you’re so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.

I hope there’s a fire truck nearby, cause you’re smokin’!

I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.

If you were a burger at McDonalds, you’d be McGorgeous.

Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.

You’re so hot, I could bake cookies on you.

Is your car battery dead? Because I’d like to jump you.

I’m lost. Can you tell me which road leads to your heart?

It’s a good thing I wore gloves today. Otherwise you’d be too hot to handle.

#::{ MEMES. }

hcbbyhero:

saitama visibly tunes out the minute garou starts talking about his made-up family. that’s the sort of thing he just can’t relate to, nor does he have any special desire to hear about it. ( he’d just asked if he was in the hero association, not for his whole life story, after all! jeez! )

still, this guy is being sort of nice ( even if he is a bit weird ) so saitama reluctantly tunes back in, giving him a nod. “uh — sure. no problem.” he still doesn’t know why garou wanted to talk to him at all, since he didn’t actually recognize him, but he doesn’t ask, afraid bring on some long explanation. saitama’s expression changes suddenly when something else occurs to him, though, and his eyes light up in recognition. “oh —

“hey. you’re from around here, yeah?” he pointed past garou. “city n is that way, right? i don’t want to get turned around, i have a sale to get to.”

Garou momentarily pauses. Sure, he’s street-smart. He’s been homeless twice now, when he first ran away from home, and again in the present. He points in the direction of City N, eager to not have the guy recognize him. Good thing he seemed a bit uninterested in the conversation, at least enough to not pay much attention to who he was.

“Yeah, it’s that way. Good luck with your sale, Hero!”

Almost out of the woods, Garou, just hold on a little longer and don’t act suspicious at all... Then you can go back to your life of hunting down less insanely strong heroes and beating the shit out of them because of your warped sense of justice.

#::{ VERSE: HERO HUNTER. }#hcbbyhero #garou is very confused right now #meanwhile i'm like 'take a good look this dude's gonna kick your ass'

hcbbyhero:

completely oblivious to garou’s rising nerves, saitama glanced down at his wrist as if to check the time, though he wasn’t wearing a watch. really, he just wanted out of this conversation. it had started out weird and was getting weirder, and there was a sale in the town he’d been heading towards that didn’t want to miss. still, despite his desire to walk away, saitama lingered, something in his gut keeping him in place.

“i’m not that new. i’m b-class. why, are you a hero?” saitama gave garou another obvious once-over. he certainly had the look of a hero — that is, he looked sort of weird. but saitama wasn’t exactly well versed on the hero roster.

“No, no... I’m just a fan, really. My family would get mad if I ever joined, since they kinda have different plans for me...”

He’s been getting better and better at this whole lying thing the more he practices. However, the new information is more than a little disturbing. He can hit that strong and he’s only in B-class? Not even S-classes had thrown around that much power when he fought them. This isn’t good. Well, he at least got some useful, if not worrying, information out of this.

“I’m just happy you talked to me, I know you heroes are busy and all.”

#::{ VERSE: HERO HUNTER. }#hcbbyhero

machmyspeed:

after swiping the bar stool of some inebriated patron using only a STILTED STARE … it was made clear that the assassin had coercive business to attend. the intemperate setting hardly mattered enough to sway his interests. the same could be said for the bustling pockets of people dispersed throughout the bar. after all , the ninjato visibly sheathed at his hip was enough to chase away a drove from their wing of the room. even a partially isolated environment more than sufficed for speed–o’–sound sonic to KILL a man & depart the premises , UNSCATHED .

——-however … … … …

seated beside the notorious s-class villain who once professed himself ‘ human monster ‘ , his ears were only greeted with an excuse: in short , a contemptible plea to leave the man’s former reputation well alone. this abject , gutless man … was THE hero hunter?? the disillusion he stumbled upon through this revelation disarmed him of homicidal intent ( but not his blatant disdain ) .

❛ you cut a pathetic figure nowadays … HERO HUNTER , garou. to think you are the man who once left the hero association in shambles—– i find myself unwilling to CHALLENGE you . ❜

❛ … still , i came all this way and we are fellow ‘ villains ‘ , so i will hear you out. explain: why do you behave like a shadow of your former self ?? ❜

He rolls his eyes and looks away. Of course he’d be getting shit from other ne’er do wells for quitting after such a spectacular display of destruction. Honestly, he’s pretty sure a lot of criminals are mad at him too for not outright killing any of the S-classes. Fan-fucking-tastic, now the good guys and the bad guys don’t like him. He lets out a sigh before he turns back to the newcomer.

“Would you believe me if I told you that I got the shit beat outta me by some bald guy in a cape?”

He pauses. No, that’s too simple. If this guy’s asking for an explanation he’s going to get a proper one, not just a simple one-sentence blurb that sounded like a shitty headline. Garou closes his eyes before he continues speaking.

“It wasn’t just the fact that I couldn’t beat him. It’s what he said to me when we were fighting. He told me that the way I was going about things wasn’t really aligned with who I wanted to be. And I guess he was right. I called myself a villain, even though all I wanted to do was beat the heroes because I thought that the monsters were being mistreated, and the heroes were corrupt. I still think that last part’s kinda right, but... He did have a point.”

Saying all of it out loud is... a bit liberating. Now someone else knows.

“So I stopped being a villain. And now I’m here.”

#::{ AU: MONSTER NO MORE. }#machmyspeed

batzoku replied to your post: oh boy did i accidentally come back during a...

wouldnt date a fucking hedgehog either

you’re right, a hedgehog is way out of your league

try a squirrel instead

#::{ SHITPOSTING. }#batzoku

oh boy did i accidentally come back during a mb/garou week

god dammit i’m taken and it isn’t by that pompadouche

#::{ SHITPOSTING. }

who wants a starter for after garou gets his ass kicked and reflects on his life

#::{ MAN BEHIND THE MONSTER. }

the sky isn't a limit, but the hero association sure does have one am I right

“There are so many people who use their position in the hero association for wealth and fame and doing whatever the hell they please. Their actions are automatically justified, because hey, they’re a hero, it must be in the name of justice.”

“They need to be held to a higher standard.”

#helliishblizzard #::{ VERSE: HERO HUNTER. }

garou fucks me up man

kid wants to be a supervillain but only because he sees villains as disadvantaged and he wants to bring them justice. he wouldn’t break the law any other way because the only thing he wants to do is beat the hero association. and he winds up causing the greatest shitstorm that the city’s ever seen, walks through the fucking s-classes like they’re nothing, and causes so much pain and hurt only to realize that he’s been going about his life completely wrong. he’s just been so misguided that he thought that he wanted to be a bad guy when he really just wanted to be good. imagine what happens to him when he realizes this, and imagine all the collective guilt of everything he did just hitting him like a truck.

this kid needs help

#::{ MAN BEHIND THE MONSTER. }#like legit he's one of the most amazing examples of the dilemma of morality #he's doing the wrong things for what he believes to be the right reasons #the fact that he got that misguided by sticking to his beliefs is scary #and his change of heart is such good fucking character development #because it really doesn't take much #he has all the qualities of a hero he just thought that the villains were the victims #and he wanted to be a hero to them

@machmyspeed

It’s been about a month since the last battle of the Monster Association happened. Ever since then, Garou has been living out in the wilderness by himself deliberately avoiding civilization and the Hero Association. He’s tried to deal with the events that happened through meditation, reflection, clearing his mind... But nothing seems to work. All that remains is a simple question with seemingly no answer.

‘What do I do now?’

After that Saitama guy defeated him, Garou has been struggling with his own motives and purpose. Since he was just a child, his goal was to become the greatest villain ever, to hold the heroes of the world to a better standard, and to unite the world in fear against him. That goal had been his motivation for everything, from running away from home at eight years old up to taking on the S-classes. But it seems that the goal has been... punched out of him. It’s gone. And in its place is that question.

However, he’s come up with something. It’s tentative, but it’s better than nothing. Garou knows he’s done plenty of bad things and hurt many, many people. But after considering Saitama’s words, he realizes that maybe the first step should be to atone for the things he’s done, and so he’s returned to the city to figure out where to start. He’s at a local bar, since the people assume he’s old enough to drink, but he’s just having water and food for now. He’s been quiet for a while, not really wanting to talk to anyone for fear of them recognizing him, but when a man with purple markings under his eyes sits down next to him, he turns and blinks.

“...Uh... If you recognize me, then please don’t tell anyone. I’m not here to hunt any heroes.”

#::{ AU: MONSTER NO MORE. }#machmyspeed

hcbbyhero:

“a fan of heroes? but you haven’t heard of me.” there was no doubt in saitama’s mind about that. if this guy had heard of him, he probably wouldn’t be trying to act polite; saitama didn’t exactly have the best reputation, after all. it was usually better for him to not be recognized. although … saitama squinted a little. “i don’t know you, do i?” there was something familiar about this guy, but he couldn’t place it. maybe it was just the weird hair giving him that ‘distinctive’ look.

Shit, he’s starting to recognize him... Garou tries to play it safe, not wanting to end up on the receiving end of one of his attacks again. He’s strong, but he’s not suicidal. After all, he’s got the rest of the Hero Association to defeat. He can take his time. In the meantime, he should try to find out as much as possible about the caped hero standing before him in order to avoid him as much as he can.

“I... don’t think so. I mean, I’ve never really seen you before. Are you new to the Hero Association?”

#::{ VERSE: HERO HUNTER. }#hcbbyhero

hcbbyhero:

@hvmanmonster

saitama almost doesn’t notice he’s being followed, which is a testament both to garou’s tailing skills and saitama’s absent-mindedness, but in the end his inhuman perception wins out. frowning a little, saitama came to a sudden halt in his steps, turning to peer in the general direction garou was lurking. “uh, dude? do you need something?”

Shit, he’s been spotted! It’s that bald guy that he ran into a while ago. The one that didn’t go down after taking a full force karate chop that broke the pavement under him... Except now, he’s wearing a hero costume. He’s been curious... If that guy joined the Hero Association, that could spell trouble for his hero hunting career. However, it seems that the guy’s got a crappy memory, and doesn’t recognize him. Better think of something fast...