i need hours alone to figure out how im feeling sorry
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@hxrricane-jane
i need hours alone to figure out how im feeling sorry
I miss you in quiet ways, in skipped songs, in sunsets that donβt feel right, in jokes I can't tell anyone else.
Zayn is me
Zayn is you
Zayn is everybody
I'm a bit upset again today about the whole work situation.
It just feels insane that I could put two and a half years of my life into working somewhere, doing everything I could to be helpful, to help cover for colleagues, to do work above my pay grade etc. and to go above and beyond to build connections with people and do everything you're meant to do to secure your career...
Only to be unceremoniously let go due to budget cuts, after months upon months of them saying they would be able to give me a full permanent contract 'soon' if I just kept working there a bit longer on my existing contract.
It feels really shitty and what's worse, I feel like any other workplace will probably treat me the same way. It doesn't fill me with excitement to start from the bottom again somewhere new. And I mean 'again', this will be the third time this happens.
It just feels like we live in a society nowadays where there really is not even the pretence of a social contract or pretending that those with less power, the employees, the labourers, the workers, will EVER have any prospect of long-term security of any sort the way our parents' generation did if they just reached a certain standard of achievement and good behaviour and weren't very unfortunate.
Did it hurt?
When you fell from the monkey bars?
I want to fall in love with life
With the sunsets and their orange hues
The flowers and their beautiful smell
The night sky and all the stars
The laughter of my friends and family
Oh please
Let me fall in love with life again
what if one day
i wake up
and i dont want to do it anymore
Do you ever want to be held so badly that it eats away at you and you constantly feel the intense urge to cling to your loved ones because you crave physical intimacy so much but have no idea how to ask for it?
I honesty miss you so fucking much but ik you dont miss me because you left not me you left after all the shit we went throught i was just stupid to think someone would love me but ig I've always known you would leave like evryone else at some point
πΆππ π½ππΎπ ππ πππΎ ππΊπ π πΊπ»πππ πππ πΏπππΎππ½π πΌπΊπ π»ππΎπΊπ ππππ ππΎπΊππ ππ π½πΎππΊπππΊπππππ π ππππππΊππ πΎπ, ππππΎππππΎπ πΊ πππ π πππ ππππΎπ πππππΎ πππΊπ ππππΊππππΌ ππΊππππΎππ.
You have fully convinced me that I am forever unlovable.
Don't ask me how I am doing if you won't be there for me when I tell you that I am not okay.
-V. J. @suicideisthesolution
If you talk to someone daily and lead them on, then randomly without saying anything block them and ghost, I pray you find the peace and healing you need in life. That shits twisted to do to someone, like I wouldβve rather you just left me alone.