WE HAVE TO FIGHT FOR HEESEUNG IF THERE IS EVEN A TINY CHANCE THAT IT WAS NOT HIS DECISION. IF IT WAS HIS DECISION, THEN AT LEAST WE CAN SAY THAT WE TRIED OUR BEST AND FOUGHT HARD.
Disclaimer: This is my way of coping. So beware of the angst.
“Dada?” Chubby hands patted Jake’s shoulder.
His warm eyes turned into worried ones when he turned around and saw her sad pout. “Yes, baby. What’s wrong?”
Her arms shot up in demand. He pulled her tiny body into his embrace, still seated on the practice floor, where he had been taking a break, and settled her in his lap.
“Dada.” She repeated, her pouty little lips turned upside down.
“Hm?” He hummed softly, a thumb rubbing her cherubic cheek. “What’s wrong? Why’s my princess sad?”
Her lips continued to wobble, her eyes filled with tears. But she wasn’t breaking down yet.
Her tiny head shook a ‘no’. Her lower lip pushed further into a heartbreaking pout.
She shook her head again.
He kissed her tiny button nose. “Miss mama?”
No. She answered again by shaking her head.
“Right? You’re a big girl now. Mama will come soon and then we’ll have a big meal with her, right?”
She nodded. For a split second, he thought that’s it. She’s just missing her mama. But then her tiny, chunky body fell into his body, her head nestled into the crook of neck.
His eyebrows furrowed in worry. She looked so sad. So heartbroken. He was getting worried.
“Then why are you so sad, baby?” His hand stroke her hair as he pressed a kiss on her forehead.
“Dada, unwle?” She mumbled in her baby language. Nonetheless, Jake understood her, he always did.
“Baby, they’re just taking a break. They’re gonna come back in any minute.”
Just on cue, the door to the practice room opened. Jaein’s tiny head shot up from her daddy’s shoulder where she had been resting—completely fallen into melancholy.
Sunoo appeared with a big smile, his eyes creased from excitement. “Look what I got you, baby Jaein!” He pulled her favorite snack out of his pocket.
But she just shook her head and slumped back into her daddy’s arms.
Sunoo squinted his eyes, “what’s wrong with her?”
Jake shrugged his shoulders softly, cautious not to disturb her. “I think she’s just tired.”
Which didn’t make any sense. She had just taken a nap. She had also had her meal. Her mommy came in quickly before, where Jaein had made it clear that she wanted to stay with her daddy and uncles.
Worriedly, he rested his hand on her forehead. She doesn’t have a fever.
The next two members came in. Her tiny head shot up again. Hopeful, big eyes glanced at them.
Jake smiled softly, “ah… you just missed your uncles? Look they’re here.” He kissed the side of her head as she was still glancing at the two members.
Jay heard it and noticed her look immediately. “Did my niece miss me?” He cooed as he crouched down, wanting to scoop her in his arms. His eyes sparkled nothing but pure warmth and love for his baby niece.
Her round, big eyes looked at him for few seconds. As if she was debating whether to stay sad in the warm cocoon of her daddy’s embrace or to enjoy some fun with her uncle.
But then—as if she remembered something—she hid her face in Jake’s neck. Her tiny arms wrapped around his neck as she shook her head.
Jay’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, “eng?”
Sunghoon entered the practice room with a loud, uncle-like groan, clapping his hands dramatically. “Cha! Let’s start practice again, guys. Break time is over!”
However, his loud voice surprised the little baby. She flinched in Jake’s arms, her chubby hands curled into his hoodie. Her sad pout trembled as she whimpered quietly. But still not full on crying.
Jake’s arms tightened protectively around her.
“Hyung! You startled Jaein!” Sunoo hissed quietly in annoyance.
“Oh- sorry, Jaein.” Sunghoon whispered. He went to her and soothingly rubbed her squishy cheek. She looked at him, breaking his heart when he saw her teary eyes.
“What’s wrong? Is she hurt?” He immediately asked, his tone cautious now.
Jake shook his head. “I think she was just sad because you guys weren’t here. She asked for her uncles. Right, baby?” He whispered softly in her ear, followed by a gentle kiss on the shell of her tiny, soft ear.
The four members cooed in unison.
“You just missed your uncles. But look. Now they’re here again. Hm? You can play with them now.” But her face stayed buried in the crook of his neck.
Sunghoon’s heart clenched painfully as he stood up. “She looks so… sad.”
Jake rubbed her tiny back. “Maybe she misses Niki?” After all, Niki was her favorite uncle. Even if the member acted as if they denied it, deep down everyone knew Niki always took care of Jaein the most and that Jaein always went to him first.
Speaking of the devil, Niki entered the room. “I’m back.” He announced.
“Ya, Niki!” Jay spoke, “your niece is missing you.”
An immediate smile spread on the youngest’s face. “Ey~ my baby missed me?” He chuckled happily.
He crouched down beside her, big palms inviting her to be picked up.
She peeked curiously out of her comfort hideout. “Hm?” He smiled softly.
Jake let out a soft breath he didn’t know he was holding when she untangled herself from her daddy to be picked up by her favourite uncle.
“Yess~~” Niki cheered, “that’s right, my precious, cutie pie niece missed me.” Both boys stood up from the ground now. Niki bounced the little girl in his hold, happy to be the chosen one.
But his smile vanished rather quickly when he noticed that she was still on the verge of crying.
“Baby?” He whispered. A pout formed on his own face. “She still looks so sad, hyung.”
“What could be wrong?” Jungwon tilted his head, wrecking his brain to find a reason.
Then she turned to her daddy again. As if she changed her mind, her baby arms reached out for him. “Dada.”
Jake nestled her in his arms again. “I’m here, baby.” He soothingly patted her back.
“Dada, unwle?” She said with a trembling voice.
“They’re all here, baby. Look.” He turned her towards the members so that she could see everyone.
He was so confused. What’s with her?
Suddenly, she wiggled her body to signal to him that she didn’t want to be held anymore. He gently set her down.
With wobbly legs, she hastily ran towards the other side of the practice room.
Eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he watched her determinedly walk to where various equipments of the members were.
His heart dropped in his stomach when she reached the piano.
Jaein patted the piano bench repeatedly with her little chunky, dimpled hand.
Instantly, tears welled up in Jake’s eyes.
“Oh.” Niki let out a whisper. His hands formed into tight fists.
Her tiny pout trembled as she continued to pat the bench.
A painful lump formed in Jay’s throat as the word stabbed right into his heart.
Jungwon looked at the ground shamefully to hide his teary eyes.
The crease between Sunghoon’s eyebrows deepened as he painfully realized what she meant.
A sob escaped Sunoo’s mouth. He didn’t mean to. But the sight broke him into million pieces.
The memory of Jaein sitting there beside him. Settling her in his lap to teach her some notes. Playing soft lullabies for her whenever she got tired and was about to fall asleep.
She didn’t forget. She remembered. She noticed that he was missing.
The hollow, dark pit in Jake’s stomach spread out through his whole body.
With trembling hands, he went to his babygirl and scooped her up.
It’s only when she saw her daddy sad face, she broke out in tears.
His arms were wrapped tightly around her small body.
She didn’t deserve this. She was too small. Too fragile.
He wanted to protect her from the sorrow. Act as if nothing had changed.
He wouldn’t have thought she would notice it immediately.
He wouldn’t have thought she would be this sad.
“It’s okey, it’s okey.” He hid her teary, wet face in his neck. Her whole tiny body trembled in his arms as she sobbed and sobbed.
“Dada, unwle!” She cried and cried.
And he didn’t understand why she was crying so much.
“Baby. Why are you crying?” He tried to speak firmly, but his voice betrayed him with a crack.
“Unwle! Unwle! Unwle!” She screamed, her cries never stopping.
“Baby.” He tried again. His arms tightened even more.
His hand patted her back, trying to soothe. “Shh… it’s okey. It’s okey.” He whispered as he planted a kiss on her head.
Why is she so sad? She has so many other uncles.
“You have so many uncles, baby.” He whispered. But his heart tightened.
He blinked his eyes repeatedly. The hot tears and the knot in his throat annoyed him so much.
Why am I so sad? I still have so many other brothers.
“You have me, baby.” He added. “Hm? Dada is not going anywhere.”
He rested his cheek on her head. The soothing motion on her trembling back never stopped.
He couldn’t speak anymore. The pain in his throat was hurting too much.
So he just continued to hold her tightly and pat her tiny back.
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Maybe it’s a bit dramatic for someone else but this fic is for me to cope. And I wanted to publish bc maybe it will help some other engene.
I miss him so much. I know he’s not dead but it’s the fact that enhypen will never be the same that’s making me miss enhypen sm. Everything happened so suddenly and unexpectedly. It will definitely take a while to accept the situation. I’m still in denial.
We’re in this together, engene ❤️
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