Todays my birthday đ„Čđ„Č i logged in to say im closing this blog, I donât feel the same way I did in the past and Iâm making money moves LAMAOAOO jk but thank you for supporting me and my silly fanfics i hope i can come back to u soon đ„Čâ€ïž
every comment, like, and reblog is appreciated, and please go support these amazing authors!
birthday post to mr smooth operator
note : this took so long omg why did I start this seriesđ jk hope u enjoy!
please reblog if you liked any of my recs! thank you
24 fics for 24 y.o pjs
JAY
all eyes on you by @jongst4r
pairing: husband!jay x fem bombshell!reader
themes: smut, slightly public sex, creampie, slightly possesive!jay, a lot of body worship, praise, dirty talk, strong language
wc: 2k
ooh no words đźâđšï»ż
ME AND MY HUSBAND by @bywons
pairing: cold fiance!park jongseong x fem reader
themes: arranged marriage au, angst, fluff, hurt & comfort, âshe fell first but he fell harderâ vibe (?) slowburn-ish
wc: 19.5k
who doesn't love a good 'she fell first but he fell harder' trope
all that glitters pt. 1 by @stllmnstr
pairing: park jongseong x fem reader
themes: academic rivals to lovers, rich jay au, university au, angst, slow burn
wc: 19.6k (pt. 1 only)
I love how jay is rich in every single universe
㠀㠀㠀㠀㠀㠀OVERDO㠀㠀㠀㠀 by @courire
pairing: actor!jay x fem actress!reader
themes: after au, making out, skinship
wc: 890
belift, please actor jay juseyo đ„ș
JAY : NSFW! by @misolhee
pairing: sugar daddy!jay x college student!reader
themes: unprotected sex, breeding, fingering, oral sex (reader giving), rough sex, spanking, soft & romantic sex, praise kink, use of pet names all along the fic
wc: 3.1k
sometimes I think about engenes that don't know Tumblr, just living their lives and never knowing fics like this exist
My Sheriff by @mintokyoon
pairing: sheriff!jay x fem wife!reader
themes: smut, praise kink, possession themes, oral sex, vaginal penetration, orgasm control / edging, spanking / impact play, rough sex, breeding / impregnation talk
wc: 1.3k
I absolutely love sheriff!jay or just sheriff!enhypen in general đ«°đ
BEST PART. by @jjwoned
pairing: dad!jay x fem mom!reader
themes: fluff, reader is pregnant, nicknames,
smt yall don't know abt me is that I DONT play abt dad!enhypenđđźâđš
BAD FOR ME by @jeongspetal
pairing: ex!park jongseong x fem reader
themes: smut, soft!dom jay, p in v, cheating, pet names
wc: 1.4k
im so sorry jay please take me back I didn't mean it, please take me backkkk đđđđđđ
its not sex by @endoll
pairing: childhood bsf!jay x fem reader
themes: munch!jay cursing, smut obviously, oral (f + m receiving), handjob, cum eating
so when do they get married? đ
SPORTS CAR by @avtrns
pairing: f1 driver!jay x fem reader
themes: smut, one night stand, porn with plot, car sex, oral (m receiving), cum eating, he's a head pusher, riding
wc: 2.2k
AND it has multiple partsđđđđ
In The Dark;; by @kpoptrashlord-007
pairing: yandere!jay x reader
themes: yandere themes, dark themes, violence
wc: 2k
never knew this was an option..đ€
THE HIGH LIFE by @lac4ygal
pairing: musician!jay x fem nepobaby!reader
themes: angst, smut, toxic relationship, musician au, nepo baby au, addiction, tragedy, no happy ending :(
wc: 22.3k
i cried
babysitter by @jaysbaefie
pairing: chaebol!jay x fem younger bratty babysitter!reader
themes: smut, rich dad au, age gap, brat x tamer, mean dom jay, possessive jay
wc: 22.4k
we need more fics of dad!jay on this planet
the only one for you by @v3lv3t-th1rst
pairing: bsf!jay x fem reader
themes: smut, softdom!jay, bigdick! jay, daddy jay
wc: 2.8k
i love love love possessive jay
Twisted Love by @nishirikiluv
pairing: yandere!jay x reader
themes: fear, drugging, a bit of noncon
pt. 1, there are multiple parts
stop I love this so muchđ
Play dates by @sundives
pairing: ex-lover ceo!jay x fem reader
themes: ceo au, ex-lovers, fake dating, miscommunication, yearning, smut, fluff, angst
wc: 25k
this is so beautiful đ„Č
đ«đ đłđ€ đČđŻđ±đđđŠ by @yunpupp
pairing: yandere!pjs x fem reader
themes: abuse, smut, angst, hitting / kicking, mentions of bruises, violence, noncon, dead dove do not eat, impact play, oral (m! receiving), degradation, character death, blood kink, bodily horror
wc: 1.3k
đ€
EoO by @mcwilla
pairing: jay x reader
themes: smut, public sex (yikes), fingering, dirty talk
wc: 1.5k
deliciosođ
LIKE A ROCKSTAR by @sagro
pairing: jay x reader
themes: smut, rockstar au, unrequited love
wc: 12k
please read this
instinct of a sinner by @beevitae
pairing: priest!pjs x fem reader
themes: heavy mentions of religion, blasphemous themes, smut
wc: 11.3k
this fic + lucifer on repeat đ„Ž
đšđĄđ§đđ§đđđ„đđ by @noirellee
pairing: park jongseong x fem reader
themes: fluff, established relationship, kissing, skinship
wc: 950
this is so healing
Always. by @fullsunberry
pairing: jay x reader
themes: angst, happy ending, running away trope, idol au
wc:9.6k
felt so bad for him in this, my Shaylađą
EYES DONâT LIE by @jaylaxies
pairing: brother's bsf!jay x fem reader
themes: smut, angst, fluff if you squint, porn with plot
wc: 26.5k words
please let me read this again for the first timeđđ
very comment, like, and reblog is appreciated, and please go support these amazing authors!
SUMMARY: When your best friends gets a little jealous but he seriously has nothing to worry about.
DISCLAIMERS: guys idk this was random and also just smau, more fluff, all pictures are from pinterest and are not mine!!!!!! thank u enjoy, txtblr email me, intak p1harmony mention and minji new jeans ok?
đ mikaâs message heâs gonna get eaten by me. a big bite will be taken out of him and you guys are not gonna look at me okay???
đË àŁȘâč being the queen in a loveless marriage took a lot out of you, good thing the courts jester is willing to help .á.á .ââ± Arranged marriage, jake is a jester, smut with a plot if u squint , nipple stuff, unprotected sex, cheating on the kingđŹđŹ MUNCH JAKEEE!!!!!! Lowkey degrades? theo from piwon as ur hubby, i havent written in a sec so might be bad + rushed endingâŠ
You knew your entire life that you were meant to get married. Not in the normal way full of love and devotion, but in the ways aimed to increase power. You had talked about it with your mother, she talked to you about how she happened to grow fond of your dad after a few years of being together. You always tried to ignore the pit in your stomach when you thought about your future, married off to some stranger who will never care for you. Stuck with him for the rest of your life.
You were twenty when you found out you were engaged to prince Taeyang. Twenty-two when you met him for the first time. You stood in front of him, staring at the tile floor beneath you.
âPleasure to meet you, my lady,â he spoke first. His voice deep and stern, which didnât shock you in the slightest. His whole self, from his carefully paired outfit to his shoes tied to the upmost elegancy a shoe could have.
âPleasure to meet you,â you replied. Your dress was new, a light blue piece that you only took out for special events like this. Itâs not every day you could meet your future husband, especially when itâs to someone as regal as him. You both shared a room, two separate beds since you were unmarried. He ignored you the entire night, sleeping turned away from you. No words were exchanged, no eye contact was made, it was like he forgot you were there.
When you saw him again, it was on your wedding night. It was beautiful, outside in the garden surrounded by hundreds of lilacs. You walked up by the preacher, a combination of flowers you couldnât name in your hand. Your veil disrupted your vision, making sure you couldnât see anything properly. The preacher starts talking, some nonsense about holy matrimony and how this is a union of two parties. You bit your lip, allowing your eyes to scan through the crowd to find someone you recognized. Whether it be Jungwon or Lara, you hoped someone from your kingdom came.
No one was there, only royals that associated themselves with your soon-to-be husbandâs kingdom showed.
He refused to look at you after your wedding night, sleeping with his back turned towards you, walking a few steps ahead of you, eating dinner in a room away from yours.
You knew you were bound to be married, but how is it that it was so loveless?
You attended the parties, sat on a throne watching everyone dance or chat to the king. But no one paid any mind to you, the poor queen of Eltra who was married at twenty-two to a man she had met once. The only person who ever spoke to you at those parties was the jester.
He always appeared before the music was too loud. Unlike the lords and their women crowding the ballroom, he walked with a giant grin on his face, like the palace belonged to him just as much as it did the king.
âYour Majesty looks thrilled to be here,â he said one evening, stopping beside your throne with a dramatic bow.
You glanced at him from the corner of your eye. âAnd you look underdressed.â
He gasped, pressing a hand against his chest. âCruel already? Weâve barely spoken.â His hat, with two points each with bells on the end of it, ringed in your ears with each action he took.
A few nearby nobles turned their heads disapprovingly : jesters were entertainment, not company for queens. But he ignored them every time, straightening with a smile.
His name was Jake. You had learned it from overheard conversations between servants. Apparently the king adored him because he was funny enough to make even Taeyangâs father laugh during council feasts. You couldnât imagine Taeyang laughing at all, he was a heartless man to you, but so lively towards everyone else.
Jake tilted his head at you, taking the hat off so you can see his matted brown hair. âYou do know everyone here is terrified of you, right?â
âTerrified?â you repeated quietly, looking around the room as if someone were to cone and disprove his statement.
âMhm,â he leaned closer, âyouâre beautiful and hard to read.â He lowered his voice further, âit makes these oldies nervous.â
You nearly smiled at that, but stopped yourself. âYou shouldnât speak to me this casually,â you warned. âSomeone will think youâve forgotten your place.â
Jakeâs eyes flickered briefly toward the empty throne beside yours. Taeyang had disappeared into the crowd before the celebration even started.
âIâm invisible to these people,â he said softly. âNo one cares about the fool.â
You didnât get to respond, opening your mouth to make a comeback when suddenly your hand was in his.
He brought it up to his lips ever so slightly, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand. âMy lady, if youâll let me, I could show you how to have some fun in these trying times.â
Your eyebrows furrowed. A queenâs responsibility was to make sure her husband and her people were pleased, whether it was marriage deeming or visiting a party, their well-being was instilled into your mind.
But⊠would it be so bad if you snuck away for a few moments? Youâve been at the castle for a year now and despite the solid gold crown that sat on your head, you were as see through as a civilian.
âWhat sort of fun?â You asked him, head tilting as if a new angle would give you a read on him.
Of course, it didnât. No one could tell what was hiding behind a jesters eyes. âThatâs for me to know and for you to find out,â a mischievous smirk sat on his face, contradicting the red and black clothes he wore that are supposed to entertain.
You debated in your head. How scandalous would it be for the queen to sneak off with the courts fool?
You nodded your head, standing abruptly and taking your hand back from him. âLeas the way then.â
And as unnoticed he walked in, the two of you left, sneaking to the silent halls that were filled with noise earlier. You didnât know where you were going, only that Jake looked at peace walking a way that heâs been a million times.
The jesterâs bedroom wasnât as small as you thought it to be. Not as big as yours, but still decently sized for both of you to fit in comfortably. The walls were bare, the bed was made lazily with red blankets, the floor was spotless.
Jake appeared behind you, his hot breath fanning your neck. âHow about we get you comfortable,â he suggested, untying the back of your corset with haste.
You couldnât speak, the corset was poking into your ribs all night and now you could breathe.
His hands pulled it off of you, revealing your unclothed breasts slowly. His eyes widened, âYouâre not wearing anything under?â
You shook your head, âit wouldâve made it too tight.â
His lips found your neck, planting a soft kiss from behind as a test. One word of this and the king would have his head planted on the wall like a deer. But you didnât complain, in fact, you lifted your head up so he could have more room.
He continued to plant soft kisses on the side of your neck, snaking his hands to your front to grab your breasts that he previously revealed. âTell me when to stop,â he mumbles, his kisses starting to get sloppy. âPlease.â
You nodded, feeling his heat pressed up against you. His fingers pinched your nipples, twisting them to the sides. Your head falls back, landing on his shoulder while he continues. His kisses were soft no more, replaced with a hunger only you can satisfy.
His hands let you go, finding the fabric that stopped at your hips and pulling it towards the floor. Your dress, a simple red one that took you almost an hour to put on, was off of you in a minute, leaving you completely naked in his room.
âIf the king were to find usââ you started, turning towards him and covering whatever you could with your hands.
âHe wonât, you know he wonât.â And he was right, you werenât even an afterthought in Taeyangâs head. You were a nobody pretending to be a queen.
He guides you to the bed, adjusting his pillows before laying you down so you can be comfortable. He sits at the foot, between your legs. Your knees were pushed together, stopping him from a view of your most intimate area.
âIs this okay?â He asks, bringing his hands to the joints and pressing them apart slightly.
You nodded shyly, separating them for him so he could see. This was bad, if anyone caught word of you two being in here, youâd both be dead. You might as well have been, you willingly let him touch you when you know you shouldnât have.
But when he leans forward, bringing his mouth to the opening and plants a soft kiss, you knew you were done for.
Your pelvis lifts when he pulls away. You watch his face shift back into the smirk from earlier. Jake changes his position, moving to lay on his stomach, close to where you needed him. âYou want this?â
âIf I didnât, Iâd have your head,â you groaned âPlease,â you begged, poking his sides with the soles of your feet.
He came closer, licking a short stripe up your core. He looked at you while he did it, watching your eyes close and a steady breath leave your nose. He licked another and another, bringing his face so close to you that you were sure he was going to be covered.
His nose bumped your clit, his tongue so deep inside of you, and you could do nothing but arch your back and moan at the sensations he gives you.
âI love this pussy,â he mumbled against you to no one in particular. âCanât believe the king doesnât want a taste.â His legs are moving against the bed, trying to get him closer than he already is.
âJakeââ you moan out, hand gripping his hair as if it would help. He continues, tongue fucking you as if he knew you needed it. âJake, Iâm close,â you moaned, using your hand that was in his hair to move him where you needed him. He turned his head to go deeper, bringing his finger to replace his nose as your clit. He rubbed fast circles all while putting his tongue to work.
You came on his tongue soon after, breathless and dizzy like he had just taken something so sacred from you.
He grins and props himself up by his elbows, the lower half of his face covered in your liquids.
You looked at him, a look that you werenât sure what was going to happen next. He could tell everyone their queen is a whore, he could tell your husband that you let him eat you out. Your heart beat fast, you shouldnât be doing this, you should be at the party with Theo.
Jakeâs position changed while you were thinking, moving to his knees. He had taken off his shirt while you werenât paying attention, his pants pulled to his knees. âYou still wanna go?â He leaned over you. It was now you realized how much bigger he was than you, towering over with one hand placed by your head. The other, on his dick, giving it a few pumps before aligning it with your entrance.
You moaned when he pushed it in, his mouth back on your neck to lick and bite. His hips shift slowly at first, like he wasnât ready for something so good. When started to moan more, he increased his pace, knees digging into the bed for a better grip.
âYeah? You like that?â He mumbled against your skin. âYou like being fucked while your husband is downstairs?â You moaned, feeling him hit the spot that made your toes clench. He continued, wrapping his arm around your head to help him hit a better angle. âWho knew the queen was a whore.â
âJakeâ fuckââ You tried to disprove his claim, but you couldnât. He was inside of you, splitting you open after making you come on his tongue.
âIâm gonna fucking cum in you,â he mumbles, âgonna put a baby into this pussy. Make the king wonder what his wife has been doing.â His other hand fumbled between your bodies, drawing lazy circles on your sensitive clit. Your back arched, your toes stayed clenched, your mouth open. All of your senses were fading and fast, the only thing that was important was him fucking you senseless until he couldnât take it anymore.
He came in you like he said he would, slowing his pace while he rides out his high. You, on the other hand, felt like you were done five minutes ago. Your body felt heavy, the weight in your actions falling onto you slowly while you stare at the peeling paint on the ceiling.
Jake brings you in for a kiss, a deep one that had you clenching around him as if nothing just happened. âAll for you, my queen,â his words muffled against your lips, âthis is all for you.â
đË àŁȘâč texts with gf!yoonchae who is in your rival group .á.á .ââ± prelude!yn, fem!reader, geeked!yoonchae, cw umm one gay joke idk (?) SHORTTT!!!!! pt 2 if ppl like
SUMMARY: Giving a chance to the very loyal commenter in your twitter replies!!
DISCLAIMERS: just smau, all fluffy, all pictures are from pinterest and are not mine!!!!!! thank u enjoy
đ mikaâs message i love cutie sweet soul yaayayay had to whip smth up that wasnât smut bc thatâs deadaajhhh all iâve been writing like a FLITHY SLAG. Srry anyways email me ok?
đË. y/n is known as the girl whoâs always first under Ni-kiâs posts until one day, he notices her. What starts as a fan habit turns into private conversations, blurring the line between follower and something more.
â roommate!ì ìŽíŹ đ„ f!reader â
smau + written, heavily inspired by xo kitty, college au, slow build, enemies to friends to lovers, fluff, lowk crack, cursing, adult jokes, forced proximity if you squint
synopsis: after moving to kiss boarding school in seoul, korea for your boyfriend, you meet many friends and decided to play matchmaker for them. however, a specific boy who just so happens to be you and your current boyfriendâs roommate hates your guts.
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jake sat on a stool by the kitchen island, eating a late night dinner as he scrolled through his phone, appreciating the unusual quietness of the dorm and taking advantage of it to enjoy his alone time.
however, he wasnât alone at all.
the door to your bedroom opened, revealing the girl heâs despised since the beginning of the schoolâs semester. you slowly made your way towards him; hair slightly messy, last nightâs makeup smudged on your face, pajamas all wrinkled, a complete mess.
âwhat happened to you..?â jake asked, raising an eyebrow at the sight.
ânothing,â you mumbled, attempting to wipe the leftover eyeliner with your dry finger. âcould you help me..?â
âwith?â
âcleaning myself up?â you asked, revealing the pack of makeup wipes from behind your back. âit wonât take long, i promise.â
âokay, yeah.â jake nodded, watching as you sat on a stool by him and opened the pack of makeup wipes, âis there a reason why you did this?â
you sighed, looking as if you didnât want to discuss the topic. âit was an accident, i didnât leave my makeup on, on purpose.â
jake nodded, expressing his understanding before taking one of the wipes and gently wiping the eyeliner and mascara off of your eyes. he started at the top of your face, then gradually cleaned his way down to your lips.
you felt jake stop, causing you to flutter your eyes open to meet his eyes, âyou okay?â
ây/n, i.. uh..â
you tilted your head with curiosity, waiting for the words to come out of his mouth. jake was stuttering, and it was rare that he stuttered. all he could really do was look at you and mentally figure out what to say next.
however, no words ended up coming out.
jake gently cupped your cheek, saying your name softly before connecting his lips onto yours. the kiss was gentle, warm, and loving â nothing had ever made him feel this way before.
the two of you were pretty touchy; cupping each otherâs faces, hands roaming, places being rubbed, etc.
đË àŁȘâč after you see your best friends boyfriend hanging out with a cute guy, youâre determined to get him .á.á .ââ± lowk inspired by drop dead by olivia rodrigo, last 3 ss is like an epilogue okay? Made this while i was getting ready for class that i didnt end up going to
PLOT! AITA for using my best friends inner thoughts to fuck with him throughout the week until he is forced to admit his feelings for me out loud?
CONTENT! Sunghoon/Fem!Reader, Fluff, Reader can hear thoughts, Bestie!Sunghoon, Sunghoon acts nonchalant, His thoughts tell a different story, SMUT (MDNI), Top!Sunghoon, Soft Dom!Sunghoon, Desperate!Sunghoon, P in V, Unprotected Sex (pls wrap b4 u tap), Oral (f receiving), Yearner!Sunghoon, I believe this is considered psychological warfare, Y/n is a literal menace.
AUTHORS NOTE! got this plot from a randomr eddit video i saw on tiktok where the girl was married to this nonchalant guy and she could suddenly hear his thoughts and he was such a loser who wanted her so badd OOOOH sunghoon ur perfect for this bend over.
WORD COUNT! 7.2k!!!
It was a cold January night when it first happened.
You were on the couch, watching Silence of the Lambs (aka the most absurd movie ever) with your best friend, Park Sunghoon. It was your weekly movie night, and last time was at his place, so this time was at yours.Â
The setup was the same as always. Blanket split unevenly between the two of youâhis fault, itâs always his faultâyour legs tucked underneath you, his stretched out across the coffee table like he owned the place. Which, at this point, was basically true. Sunghoon had a key. He knew where the good snacks were hidden. Heâd argued with you about your IKEA furniture assembly and been right about it. If that didnât make someone a co-owner, nothing did.
âThis movie is not scary,â he said flatly, reaching into the popcorn bowl on your lap without looking away from the screen.
âI never said it was scary. I said it was disturbing. Thereâs a difference.â
âWell itâs neither.â
âA man is making a suit out of human skin, Sunghoon.â
âIâve seen worse.â
You looked at him. âWhere?â
He paused. âNature documentaries.â
You laughed before you could stop yourself, and something shifted in his expression. Barely anything, just the faintest softening in the corner of his eyes. It was so quick you almost missed it. Almost.
That was the thing about Park Sunghoon. On the outside, he was the picture of composure. Unhurried. Unbothered. The kind of person who could be late to his own birthday party and somehow make everyone else feel like theyâd arrived too early. He was like that in class, too. Front row, never frantic, taking notes in that annoyingly neat handwriting of his while everyone around him was three lectures behind and quietly spiraling.
You had met him in your first year, in a mandatory elective neither of you wanted to be in. Heâd sat next to you because it was the only seat left, and when the professor had asked everyone to introduce themselves to the person beside them, he had looked at you and saidâvery seriouslyâ"How fast do you think we could get through this syllabus if we actually tried?â
You had been best friends ever since.
It made sense, in the way that certain things just did. You moved at the same pace. You thought the same things were funny. You could sit in silence for hours and it never felt like anything needed to be filled. He was the person you called when something went wrong and also when something went right. Somewhere along the way those two categories had quietly expanded to include everything in between.
Which was fine. Completely fine. You were not in love with your best friend.
You were almost certain.
On screen, Clarice was walking into the dark. You shifted on the couch, tugging the blanket back toward your side, and Sunghoon let you without comment. This meant he wasnât paying attention. You glanced over at him.
He was looking at the TV, jaw resting on his hand, expression perfectly neutral. His hair was a little messyâhe had come straight from practice, changed into a hoodie in your bathroom, and left his back by the door like he always did. There was something easy about having him here. Something that had started feeling dangerously close to necessary.
You looked back at the screen.
That was when it happened.
No warning. No build-up. No cinematic crack of lightning or sudden ringing in your ears. One moment there was the sound of Clarice's heavy breathing, the low ambient noise of your apartment, the rustle of the blanketâ
And then there was a voice.
She always laughs like that when sheâs actually surprised. Like she tried to hold it in and lost.
You froze.
The voice was his. Not out loud. His mouth hadnât moved, you looked right at him. But it was unmistakably Sunghoonâs voice, low and even, like he was narrating a novel.
You didnât move.
Sheâs been using the same shampoo since second year. I donât know why I know that.
Your heart stopped. You turned very slowly to look at him. He was still watching the movie. Completely still, completely unaware. The popcorn bowl was between you and he reached into it again without looking and his arm brushed yours andâ
Donât make it weird. Donât make it weird. Youâre fine. Sheâs just⊠A pause. Sheâs right there.
You stared at him, but he didnât stare back. He watched Anthony Hopkins monologue as if absolutely nothing was happening, as if his internal voice had not just short-circuited your entire brain, and you sat there in the blue light of your TV thinking: what the fuck.
You didnât sleep well that night.Â
Not because of the movie. The movie was fine. Buffalo Bill was unsettling on a conceptual level but youâd watched it twice before and you had a high threshold for cinematic weirdness. No, you didnât sleep because you laid in bed staring at the ceiling and replayed every single thing youâd heard for the remaining forty minutes of the film.
And there had been a lot.
Her apartment always smells like that candle. I should figure out what scent it is. For no reason.
Sheâs cold. Sheâs not going to say anything. Sheâll just suffer. I shouldâand then heâd shifted and tugged part of the blanket over to your side without a word, like heâd just decided something.
Two more weeks until her birthday. I already know what Iâm getting her. Iâve known for three months. Thatâs normal⊠that's a normal amount of time to know
Sheâs laughing again. Okay. Cool. Iâm fine.
You rolled over and pressed your face into the pillow.
Park Sunghoon. Your best friend. The most unreadable person you had ever met in our life, who apparently had an entire internal monologue dedicated to noticing things about you. Your laugh, your shampoo, your candle, the way you got cold and didnât say so. And he never let any of it reach his face.
For how long? How long had this been happening?
You thought about the soft look heâd tried to hide when you laughed. You thought about the blanket. You thought about Iâve known for three months, thatâs normalâ
You groaned into your pillow. This was a lot of information to receive on a Tuesday.
The next morning, you tested it.
Sunghoon had a habit of coming over early on Wednesdays because you both had the same 10 am lecture and he lived closer to your building than campus. It was an arrangement that had started practically and continued sentimentally, which was very on-brand for your entire friendship.
You knocked at 8:52. You opened the door in your oversized sweatshirt and immediately, before heâd even said helloâ
She looks good in the mornings. She always looks good in the mornings. Fuck, thats extremly inconvenient.
You felt your face do something. You couldnât control it.
âWhat?â he said.
âNothing.â You stepped back. âI made coffee.â
He came in, dropped his bag, accepted the mug you handed him, and leaned against your kitchen counter with the air of someone who had never experienced a chaotic thought in his life. You watched him over the rim of your own mug and waited.
Sheâs staring.
Itâs fine. She stares sometimes. It means nothing. Donât read into it.Â
⊠Sheâs still staring.
âIâm not staring,â you said, more like blurted.
He looked at you. âI didnât say you were.â
Fuck. âYou were thinking it.â You said, which was technically true in the most unhinged way possible.
Sunghoon looked at you for a moment longer than necessary. Then he took a sip of his coffee. âOkay,â he said, in a tone that meant he had filed this away and would return to it later.
You needed a plan.
Hereâs what you knew:
Sunghoon was not going to say anything. That was simply not how he worked. He could think about your shampoo and memorize your candle scent and spend three months deciding on a birthday gift and still show up every Wednesday looking like a man without a single complicated feeling. He would do this indefinitely. He would probably take it to his grave.
And youâyou, who had spent the better part of a year trying very hard not to notice the way he looked at you sometimesâwere not going to wait for a grave.
So you made a decision.
You were going to give Park Sunghoon exactly what he wanted. Piece by piece. Situation by situation, all of it carefully constructed so that he thought it was happening naturally. And at the end of it, he was going to have no choice but to say it out loud.
All you had to do was listen.
It started small.Â
Friday night, you invited him to the convenience store. Normal enough, you did this roughly once a week, usually for ramen and whatever snack had rotated its way onto the seasonal shelf. But this time, on the way back, you chose the path along the river instead of the shortcut through the carpark.
It was cold enough that your breath fogged the air. The streetlights caught in the water. You had your hands tucked into your sleeves, thinking that this had been a good idea when Sunghoonâs voice materialized quietly in your head.
I always want to walk this way. She never wants to walk this way.
You looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes. âIsnât this nicer?â
A beat passed. âYeah.â He said. He was looking ahead, but something in his shoulders had settled. âIt is.â
She remembered.
He didnât say it out loud, of course he didnât. But you heard it, warm and quiet, and you had to look away before your face gave you away completely.
The next one was trickier.
You were in the library, 3rd floor, your usual table by the window. While you worked through problem sets, Sunghoon arrived twenty minutes later and folded himself into the seat next to you. He unpacked in silence, which was normal. Then he went quiet in that particular way he had where he was trying to figure something out and didnât want to ask for help, which you also knew, because you knew all of his silences.
You waited.
I could just ask her. Sheâd explain it without making me feel stupid. She never makes me feel stupid.
But then sheâll know I didnât understand the lecture and sheâllâ
She wonât care. She genuinely will not give two shits.
Obviously I know that. Thatâs not the issue, the issue is that shesâ
A pause.
Sheâs the only person I actually want help from. Is that a weird thing to feel this strongly about?
You looked up from your notes. âDo you want me to walk you through the regression model? I had to redo it like twice before it clicked.â Not technically a lie.
Sunghoon looked up at you.
âIâm serious,â you said, keeping your face carefully neutral. âItâs faster if we do it together.â
Something moved behind his eyes. Not readable: it never quite was. But it was there. He slid his notebook across the table toward you. âOkay.â
You worked through it side by side, your handwriting appearing in the margins of his notes, carefully avoiding his various doodles across the page. Your shoulders pressed close together so you could feel the warmth of him. And under everything, you could hear him thinking:
This is my favorite way to study. This is my favorite way to do a lot of things.
Then came the party.
Jungwonâs birthday parties had a reputation. What started as a small gathering with a reasonable headcount always turned into something completely different by 11 pm. More people, more noise, more empty bottles lined up along the windowsill like a timeline of bad decisions. You had been to enough of them to know to eat beforehand.
You arrived a little after 10. Sunghoon was already thereâyou found him in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with a drink in his hand, talking to someone from his major with the energy of a person attending a very calm business lunch. Completely unbothered. Completely composed.
You felt him notice you before he looked up.
There she is.
Warm. Immediate. Like a reflex heâd long stopped trying to correct.
You made your way over and he handed you a drink without being asked, already knowing. Smirnoff Ice Raspberry. What a gentleman.
âHow long have you been here?â You asked him.
âAn hour.â
âAn hour and youâre already relaxed?â You say, gesturing to what you can clearly tell is not his first drink of the night.
âIâm always relaxed.â
I am not relaxed. Her outfit is so small and Iâve been here an hour just wondering when she would show up and she shows up in that!
You took a sip of your drink to hide your expression.
By eleven, the party had done its inevitable thing. The hallway was full, the music was louder, and someone had started a game in the living room that youâd opted out of on principle. You werenât really in the mood to kiss random men when you had one pining over you in his head.Â
You were on your 3rd drink, warm at the edges, feeling the particular looseness that came from just enough and not too much.
Sunghoon was on something closer to his fifth.
You could tell only because you knew him. To anyone else, he looked exactly the same. Same posture, same unhurried delivery, same expression that gave away absolutely nothing. He was holding his cup with the same quiet authority he held everything. Responding to people in full, measured sentences.
But his thoughts.
She laughed at something. I didnât hear what it was. Doesnât matter, Iâd listen to her laugh for an unreasonable amount of time and never get tired. Iâve accepted that.
You pressed your lips together and did your best to bite back the blush running towards your cheeks.
Her drink is almost empty. I shouldâa pause, like he was negotiating with himselfâno. Thatâs too obvious. She can get her own. She doesnât need me toâ
You watched him glance at your cup from across the room, completely imperceptibly, and then look away.
Fuck this. I canât let anyone here think sheâs single. Even though she is. Fuck.
He appeared by your side sixty seconds later and held one out. You took it.
âThank you!â You said.
âMhm.â He looked at the room.
She smells like that candle again. She mustâve been home before this. God Iâm pathetic.
You stared very hard at a window across the room and reminded yourself to breathe normally.
It got worseâbetter, actuallyâas the night went on.
You found a quieter corner of the apartment, as you usually did, and the party moved around you while you stayed still. This was your pattern. Your orbit. Sunghoon stood close enough that your shoulders almost touched and talked to you in that low, even voice of his about nothing importantâa lecture, a teammate, something Sunoo had said earlier that had mildly irritated him.
I think about telling her all the time. Like, constantly. Itâs become a problem. Iâll be in the middle of something completely unrelated and Iâll justâthink about her. The way she argued about things she cares about. The way she falls asleep during movies and then insists she wasnât sleeping.
Sheâs always sleeping. I never say anything. I let her have it. Iâd let her have everything if thatâs what she wanted
Later, the crowd thinned. Someone swapped the music for something slower and the kitchen light cast everything in a warm gold. You were feeling pretty drunk, loose and light and devious, if you were 100% honest.
Because hereâs the thing. You had spent the past 2 hours listening to Sunghoonâs internal monologue short-circuit in real time, and the drinks had made you brave, and you decided you were going to have fun.
You turned to face him fully and leaned your shoulder against the wall so you were looking up at him. Close. Closer than youâd normally stand.
âYouâve been quiet.â
âIâm always quiet.â
âMore than usual.â
He looked at you. Said nothing, of course. His face was perfectly, infuriatingly composed.
Sheâs standing really close. Okay, thatâs fine. She does that sometimes. It doesnât mean anyâsheâs looking at me like that again.
You smiled, slow and deliberate, and watched his jaw shift almost imperceptibly.
âWhat?â He asked.
âNothing.â You reached over and fixed the collar of his shirtâit didnât need fixing. You just did it. Fingers brushing the side of his neck for half a second before you pull your hand back.Â
The thought that hit you was instantaneous.
Oh. A pause. Donât. Do not.
His expression didnât change. He simply looked at you with the same unhurried calm he looked at everything with and said âThanksâ in a voice that gave you nothing.
You were going to lose your mind. Give me something, asshole!
You shifted closer under the pretense of someone passing behind you and didnât shift back. Your hand was on his arm now, you could feel the warmth of him through his sleeve.
Sheâs not moving. Sheâs not moving and I cantâI need toâFuck she looks so good tonight. She always looks so goodâIâm going to need a cold shower tonight.
âCold?â He asked.
You tried not to laugh at how well it connected to his thoughts. âA little.â You lied.
He didnât say anything, but he turned very slightly so his body was angled towards yours, the smallest possible adjustment, like he was trying to do so without admitting he was doing it.
Keep talking, his thoughts said, unprompted. Just keep talking to me. I donât care what you say, I just wannaâ
âTell me something.â You say.
âLike what?â
âAnything.â
He considered this with great seriousness of someone preparing for war. You watching him think and heard the entire thing unravel. I want to tell her so many things. I want to tell her that I think about her all the time. I want to tell her sheâs the first person I want to call when anything bad happens. I want to tell her to touch me and never stop.
âJungwonâs playlist sucks.â Is what he chose instead.
You laughed. You couldnât help it. The contrast of his thoughts to the words coming out of his mouth was just too hilarious for you to handle. He watched you laugh and his thought arrived soft and immediate:
There it is.
You looked back up at him, still smiling, and let the moment stretch. Then, slowly, you reached out and took the cup from his handâjust to take a sip, just as an excuseâyour fingers overlapping his for a second before he let go.
His entire internal monologue went briefly nonverbal for a moment.
Fuck she has no idea what sheâs doing to me. She genuinely cannot know. If she knew she wouldâshe wouldnâtâshe doesnâtâ
A pause. A long one, actually.
Does she know?
You handed the cup back. Your fingers brushed him again on the pass. Deliberate. Completely deliberate.
I want you so bad.
The thought arrived and made you almost choke on air. It was so helplessly honest that it made your stomach flip. Not chaotic, necessarily, just true. Simple and overwhelming and incredibly sincere and raw.
Iâve wanted you for so long and youâre just standing here and I canât tell you! Not like this.Â
But please donât move.
You donât move. Sunghoon stood beside you looking unbothered.
This, you thought, was the most fun you had ever had in your entire life.
Your shared 10 am was held in a wide tiered lecture hall that fit about two hundred students and smell permanently of coffee and resignation. You sat in the same spot every week, middle left. Close enough to see the slides, far enough to feel like you had options. Sunghoon always sat next to you.Â
You go there first on Tuesday. When he arrived, he dropped into the seat next to you and pulled out his notebook. You were ready.
You chose to wait until the lecture started, until he was settled. Pen in hand, paying attention the way he always did.Â
Then you leaned over, close enough that your shoulder pressed into his and whispered âCan I borrow a pen?â
You had 3 in your bag. He didnât know that.
He reached into his case without looking and held one out. Your fingers closed around it slowly, over his, just for a second longer than necessary.
Donât fucking look at her. Look at the slide. There is a slide, dammit.
You settled back into your seat and uncapped the pen like nothing happened. Ten minutes later you leaned in again. âWhat did he say? I missed it.â Your lips were approximately four inches from his ear. You felt him go very still and you smiled.
She smells so good. Why does she alwaysâfocus! Heâs talking about monetary policy. Monetary policy. Thatâs what's important right now.
âQuantitative easing.â he said, in a voice that was completely level. Not even a crack.Â
âThanks,â you murmured, and sat back.
I cannot believe Iâm this affected by quantitative easing.
Sunghoon played like he did everything else, with total composure and quiet precision. Like the game was simply a problem being solved in real time. You had been to his matches before but usually with a group. This time you came alone and found a spot near the front and he saw you during warm ups.
You waved.
His expression softened the slightest bit. Sheâs wearing my hoodie.
You were, in fact, wearing his hoodie. The one heâd left at your place three weeks ago and youâd simply never given it back. You had put it on this morning with full awareness of what you were doing and zero remorse.
Thatâs my hoodie on her and she looksâI have a game. I have a game in four minutes. Get your fucking shit together.
He focused on the game. You watched him be extraordinary at it with the detached calm of someone who had done it a thousand times, and every few minutes a thought would surface.
Is she still here? She is. Good.
At halftime he jogged to the sideline and grabbed his water bottle and glanced at you once. It was brief, but you smiled as always and tucked your hands into the front pocket of his hoodie.
Sheâs so cute.
Then he went back to playing.
After the final whistleâthey won, 2-1, Sunghoon had assisted in both goals with the energy of a man doing his grocery shoppingâhe found you at the edge of the field. Hair slightly damp, still catching his breath, looking at you with a gaze like you were the only girl in the world.
âYou played great!â
âThank you.â He said breathlessly.
You reached up and fixed a part of his hair that had fallen across his forehead, the same way you fixed his collar at the party. Easy and unbothered.Â
Iâm so in love with her itâs embarrassing. And sheâs still touching my hair. I will stand here forever. I will stand on this field until the groundskeepers kick me off.
It was a Saturday when it stopped being a game.
Not because you decided it. Not because anything dramatic happened to signal a shift. It was a Saturday and you were making dinner and Sunghoon was in your kitchen, and somewhere between the two of you it just became too much.
It had started normally enough. He texted at five asking if youâd eaten. You hadnât. He showed up twenty minutes later with groceries and no further explanation, which was so perfectly, infuriatingly him that you hadnât even questioned it. This was just a thing he did. This was just how he was with you.
The kitchen was warm. You had music on lowâsomething ambient and unhurried. Sunghoon had taken over the stove with the quiet authority he applied to everything while you sat at the counter and handled the easier tasks: chopping, stirring, handing things over when he asked.
It was comfortable, it was always comfortable with him.
But you had spent a week being deliberate about every point of contact and now you were tired and warm and a little undone by the Friday couch moment still sitting in your chest, and tonight you weren't being strategic. Tonight things just kept â happening.
Like the way you leaned over to check on the pan and your arm slid along his. The way he reached past you for the salt and didn't move back immediately. The way the kitchen was small and you were both in it and neither of you seemed to be trying very hard to maintain any kind of distance.
She's everywhere in this apartment, he thought, while stirring something and looking straight ahead. Everything here is her. I come here and it just â feels like her. I don't know what to do with that.
You handed him a spoon without being asked and your fingers touched and the thought that followed was short and unadorned:
I love her.
Not feral. Not desperate. Just true, the way facts were true, the way gravity was true, delivered in the same internal voice he used to note the weather or remember an appointment.
I love her and I don't know how much longer I canâ
"You're quiet," you said.
"I'm always quiet."
"Different quiet."
He glanced at you. "You say that a lot."
"Because it keeps being true."
He looked at you for a moment, something unreadable moving behind his eyes, and then looked back at the stove.
You watched him. The line of his shoulders, the careful way he moved, the complete and total composure he maintained at all times like it cost him nothing when you knew â you knew now â exactly what it cost.
You slid off the counter and moved to stand beside him. Not for any reason. Just to be closer.
She's right next to me. She keeps doing this. She's been doing this all week and IâI don't know if she knows what she's doing. I think she might know. Does she know?
You reached past him to adjust the heat on the burner â he was standing right there, you had to reach across him to get to it, your arm brushing his chest for a half second â and when you pulled back you turned your head and found his face much closer than you'd anticipated.
Neither of you moved.
Okay, his brain said, with a kind of strained calm. Okay. This isâShe's right there. She's looking at me. I have been in love with her for over a year and she is right there and Iâ
"Y/N."
His voice came out different. Lower. The composure was still there but something underneath it that wasn't, some thread pulled just tight enough that you could hear it.
"Yeah?" you said.
He looked at you. Really looked â the way he had on the couch on Friday, no pretense, no performance, just Sunghoon looking at you like you were something he'd stopped being able to look away from.
"What are you doing?" he said.
It wasn't accusatory. It was quiet. Genuine. Like he actually needed to know.
And here was the thing â here was the part you hadn't planned for â you opened your mouth to say something easy and deflecting and instead what came out was the truth.
"I don't know anymore," you said. "I think I stopped doing anything on purpose about three days ago."
Something in his face shifted. The last careful layer of it, the one he always kept in reserve, the one you'd never seen him let go of before.
"Three days ago," he repeated.
"The game," you said. "Friday. You were just â you were just being you and Iâ" you stopped. Laughed a little, helplessly. "I've been driving myself crazy, Sunghoon."
Sheâ
His thought didn't finish. Like his brain had simply stopped processing and switched to something else entirely.
"You've been driving yourself crazy," he said, and something in his voice had shifted too, something dry and disbelieving and warm underneath it. "You've been driving me crazy for a week. You know that, right?"
You looked at him. "Have I?"
"In lecture," he said. "The couch. The game." A pause. "The collar." He said the last one quietly, like it had been living in him since the party and had just now been let out.
"The collar," you repeated innocently.
"You knew what you were doing."
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Y/N."
"Sunghoon."
He looked at you for a long moment, this boy who never cracked, who never rushed, who kept everything behind his eyes until he decided otherwise â and then he decided otherwise.
"I'm in love with you," he said. Simple. Direct. Like he'd taken aim and let go. "I have been for a long time and this week has been the most unhinged experience of my life so if you have something to tell me I really think you should tell me now."
The most unhinged experience of my life. You almost laughed again. He had no idea. "I'm in love with you too," you said. "I have been. For a long time, I think."
He exhaled.
Not dramatically â this was Sunghoon, nothing was ever dramatic â just a slow breath out, like something he'd been holding had finally been set down. His hand came up and found your jaw, tilted your face up toward his, and he looked at you for one long, unhurried moment the way he did everything.
There she is, he thought, soft and certain and final. There she is.
Then he kissed you.
It was warm and quiet and careful and then â when you kissed him back, when your hand found the front of his shirt â not careful at all. His other hand found your waist and pulled you closer and you went, and the food on the stove went briefly unattended, and the music played on low in the background of your apartment that smelled like his candle and yours combined now, that had his bag by the door and his key on the hook, that had been halfway his for a long time already.
His last coherent thought, before everything else: Finally.
He kissed you like a man starved, and after everything you had heard the past couple of weeks, he was starved. His hands tightened on your waist the slightest bit, almost as if he was afraid you would leave.
You wouldnât dream of it.
Your hands dragged up his shirt and towards the back of his neck, pushing him closer and playing with his hair. Sunghoon let out a shaky breath, which made you smile into the kiss.
âShut.â Kiss. âUp.â Another kiss. His voice was so low that it shocked you, but you were too busy to even fully notice.
âI didnât say anything.â You say in between his kisses. Eventually you force yourself to pull away. His face looks like you just slapped him, but you caress his face. âIâm just turning off the stove.â
Sunghoon pursed his lips together. âRight. I forgot. I was kinda distracted.â
You stare at him for a moment, taking him in. His flushed cheeks, his glossy eyes, his hands that refuse to leave your waist. âAt the risk of sounding too forwardââ
âBe forward. Thatâs all Iâve wanted this entire week.â
You nod. âWell.. we can go to my roomâŠ?â
You barely got the chance to hear his brain fry itself when he smashes his lips back down onto yours. He seems hungrier now, and the thought has you reeling. All you can hear are bits and pieces. Please, and Iâm obsessed with you, cross his mind over and over again, but youâre too involved in him to care.
âIs that a yes?â
âItâs a please.â
Sunghoon keeps kissing you as the two of you walk (awkwardly. Itâs surprisingly hard to keep a straight line of direction when a man is kissing the shit out of you) to your bedroom. The door was already open, and your bed was already made. The two of you just flopped onto the mattress, not bothering to stop.
He laid above you, moving from your lips to everywhere else. âIâve been in love with you,â a kiss on the cheek, âsince that IKEA argument,â a kiss on your jaw, âwhen you were wearing that stupid,â kiss on the neck, âfucking,â kiss on your collarbone, âshirt.â He keeps kissing you, mumbling more. âIt was the tiniest shirt in existence and you wore it around me.â
âIt was the first shirt I saw that day.â
âWell it made me really hard.â He says, looking down at you.Â
âOh, did it now?â You say, a playful smirk on your face.Â
He wipes that smirk off with a kiss, trailing back down to the collarbone, sucking on various spots. You choose not to think about how much of a pain it will be to whisk those out of your skin before your shift. Instead, you choose to live in the moment.Â
His hands trail from your waist to your sides. âCan I?â He asks, hands incredibly still. You nod, but thatâs not enough for him. âPlease say it.â
âYes, Sunghoon.â
He wastes no time in taking your shirt off, throwing it somewhere in your room for you to find later. âSo beautiful.â He mumbles, almost incoherently. âWanted this for so long. You for so long.â
Every word, every kiss, every touch sends sparks up and down your body. You donât know how youâve lived without this, but now that you have it you wonât ever give it up. You run your hands under his shirt and on his bare skin, feeling the warmth of the man on top of you.Â
Itâs barely even a touch, and yet he folds completely. Head in your neck, holding you tightly. You feel the outline of abs and a strong v line, hands going lower and lower. Instead of the obvious, you choose to grab the hem of his shirt and pull it. He instantly moves, allowing you to pull the shirt off himâwith his help of course.
You had seen him shirtless before. Sophomore year pool party hosted by Jake. But this is completely different. 2 years of soccer and consistent working out has made this man built. And you were not complaining.Â
You grab his jeans and pull him back in, but he stops himself.
âI wanna try something.â
You give him a nod, and he moves to pull down your sweatpants, leaving you in just a bra and underwear. Sunghoons eyes rake over your body in a way that screams adoration. If you had ever thought he didnât like you, his actions now change your mind immediately.
âTell me if you want me to stop, okay?â
âOkay.â You say quietly, unsure of what's to come.
He starts kissing your neck once more, moving down to your collarbone, then shoulder, then sternum. He makes it his mission to kiss every part of you. Your tits, your stomach, your hips. You donât even realize how far down he is until he plants a kiss right above your underwear.
He goes to one hip, then the other, planting kisses on both. But instead of going where you want him, he goes to your thighs. He starts at the left, gentle kisses up and down your inner thigh, making you squirm. At the right, his kisses are still gentle, but they're closer now. Closer to where you want him. To where he wants to be.
âSo beautiful.â He murmurs, finally pressing a kiss to your clothed heat. A delicate kiss, yet it made you squirm. God, this man is the devil.
âPleaseâŠâ You sigh, not even realizing that you said it.
âWhatever you want.â He hooks a finger around your underwear, dragging the lavender cloth down your legs slowly. He makes sure to actually take them off, and not let them pool around your ankles, and then spreads your legs just a bit. âAre you sure?â
You nod. âIâm sure.â
That's all he needed before he put his mouth on you. Soft kisses that drive you crazy, hands grasping the duvet and teeth biting your lip. The pace is brutally slow, testing the waters. But he speeds up a bit. One hand under your leg, pulling you closer, the other on your clit, making slow circles as he eats you out.
If you thought he kissed you like a man starved, then you would be surprised at how he is once he truly tastes you. Hands grip you tightly, moving faster and faster as his tongue makes you cry out. He laps at your folds, tongue going in and out of you on occasion. You close your legs around his head, and he groans like you just gave him dessert.Â
Youâre so close, you can feel it. And he can too. But he pulls away at the last moment, wiping at his mouth.Â
Sunghoon takes a moment to admire you. Naked from the waist down, a simple bra covering you. Youâre panting, desperate to reach the orgasm that was cruelly ripped away from you by the man who almost gave you it.
You give him a look, and he gives you one back. âIâll eat you out as many times as you want later, but right now I just wanna fuck you.â
âIâm on the pill.â You say.
He closes his eyes for a moment. âIs that enough for you? Cause Iâll go get condomsââ
âItâs enough.â You interrupt him, hand on the buckle of his jeans, slowly unworking it. You donât think youâve ever wanted something more than you want him right now. Maybe thatâs insane to say, but you donât care. Not when the most gorgeous man youâve ever seen is about to fuck you.
The two of you waste no time in taking off his jeans, and then his boxers. He also makes sure to take your bra off too.
You arenât new to sex. Itâs a very straightforward process. But sex with Sunghoon seems different. There's nothing wrong with him, it's just the fact youâve known him for so long and heâs your best friend, and what if this ruins things?
âHey.â He says, snapping you out of the trainwreck that is your thoughts. âAre you 100% sure? If you say no then Iâll stop, I promise.â
âItâs not that,â You pause, avoiding eye contact with him and his naked lower half. âI just donât want this to ruin things.â
His hand goes to your waist, gentle and comforting. âThis wonât ruin anything. Iâll still be in love with you after this, probably even more than I am right now.â
You think for a second before nodding. âOkay.â
âYou still want this?â
âYes, Sunghoon.â You say with a faux-annoyed face.
He gives you the most genuine smile as he presses his tip against you. The feeling sends a shock straight to your core, and youâve never wanted anything more than you do right now. He rubs his tip up and down your folds, letting the pre-cum mix with the wetness that was pooling out of you.Â
âIâll go slow, okay?â Sunghoon pushes in slowly, true to his word. You wince, but not in pain. In pleasure. Youâre completely engulfing his tip, and heâs looking at it like itâs the Mona Lisa. âJesus Christ." His voice is low, gravely, and possibly the sexiest thing youâve ever heard.Â
He continues to push, letting your pussy swallow him whole. When heâs finally in, he looks at you first to make sure youâre ready and that youâre still okay. Itâs sweet, but you arenât in the mood for sweet.
And somehow, he hears you loud and clear. He pulls back almost all the way, until itâs just the tip again, and slams into you.Â
It has you gasping for air, grabbing the blanket, the pillow, him. He keeps up the pace. Brutal, yet slow. A harsh slam in, a slow drag out. Itâs simultaneously too much and not enough.
âSunghoonâŠâ You whine.
âYou want more?â
You nod, and he obliges immediately, snapping his hips into yours faster. You're moaning and writhing underneath him but he doesnât stop. After all, this is what you wanted.Â
It smells of sex, and the only sound you can hear is skin slapping, your whines, and his little groans. Back and forth and back and forth, itâs too much.
You can feel a pool in your core tightening, and in a moment of pure lust you wrap your legs around him and pull him closer. âYouâre fucking evil.â He almost growls, going faster if that was even possible.
Sunghoonâs as desperate as you are, slamming his hips into yours with strength and precision of a man who worked for this his entire life. You can barely form words, just moans as he goes in and out of you.
You tighten around him and he whines, and itâs the most beautiful sound youâve ever heard. But you donât get a chance to focus on that.Â
âI know honey, I know. Me too, sweet girl.â
His hips stutter, but heâs back on track, fucking you the way you deserve after weeks of psychological torture and cold showers on his part. Heâs dreamed of this more times than you could imagine. But this is better than any dream of his. Because youâre under him, eyes shut in pleasure as he fucks the shit out of you the way heâs wanted for so long.
âIâm close.â You manage, hands grabbing on his biceps.
He speeds up. âYou wanna cum?â You nod, a tear falling out of your eye from how good everything feels. As he drags himself in and out of you, a hand falls to your clit, rubbing fast circles. You let out a loud moan, only enticing him to keep going. âCome on honey, cum with me.â
He plays with your folds for a few more seconds before your hips buck without warning, teeth digging into your bottom lip as you come undone over his dick. Your legs shake around his abdomen, and you let out a silent cry.Â
âGood girl. Iâm so close okay? Where do you want me?â He asks, slowing down just a bit.
Youâre still reeling from your orgasm and the fact heâs still fucking you. âAnywhere.â
He places both of his hands around you, caging you in as he pounds into you with no remorse, desperate for a release. He can feel you clenching around him, and thatâs what sends him over the edge.
âFuck!â His hips stutter for the final time, pressing into you fully. His head drops down, almost heavy from the week long torture. As he cums in you, his head drops down, almost heavy. You both donât move for a bit, just staying still
Itâs quiet. The only sound being breathing coming from the both of you.
âDid it ruin it?â He asks, breathlessly with a smirk.
âFuck off!â You reply, lightly slapping his chest.
It was that very moment where you realized you couldnât hear his thoughts anymore. You would miss the frantic array of thoughts that would show up when you did something miniscule to him, but you werenât upset. This just meant he finally said all that he needed to say.