Aries- excessive; bad taste in music; enjoys being abrasive
Taurus- secretly indulgent, lazy hedonists; jealous and vain
Gemini- demands more credit for their intellectual gymnastics- not deserves- demands; argues for the sake of arguing a la “art for art’s sake” except not
Cancer- a surprisingly devious, untrustworthy lot when jealous or hurt, which is almost all of the time
Leo- biggest, loudest mouths; self-important; often unintentionally rude; lots of crying
Virgo- most critical, scathing, bitchy humans caught drowning in a sea of their own anxiety-riddled despair; also lots of crying
Libra- in actual romantic love with themselves; usually lead a double-life; love to play the victim card; total opportunists
Scorpio- Vain and manipulative; tendency toward playing chess with others; extremely secretive
Sagittarius- inexplicably elitist, extremely intelligent with a shit attitude, impatient A F; brash
Capricorn- closeted or possibly asexual narcissists; uncomfortably uptight; also super judgmental
Aquarius- brooding; cannot pick up social cues; hyper-intellectual; there’s some really weird sex stuff going on there
Pisces- narcissists channeling self-worship through art; always sexually frustrated and trying to talk about it with you; think they have the most evolved thought process; lots of Peter Pan Syndrome
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