Pyro Posting

18+ content Fan art, Fan Fiction, and Theorycrafting

[hydropyro]

Blog Masterlist

This is more for me, but hopefully it also helps anyone who may be interested to navigate the chaotic black hole that is my blog.

This list links to more lists. Listception. Lists to lists below

My Original Work

Theories:

30 Minute Rant

Abdirak/Alakvyr Fan Fiction:

Hobbled - Post Game self indulgent smut

Raphael Fan Fiction:

Deal with Devils - Haarlep makes a deal with Raphael

House of Hope - Raphael's relationships with Haarlep and Hope

Not Dead - Despite being killed by the tadpoled adventurers--

Progeny of Raphael - Raphael intercepts his child

The Fiddler Went Down to Faerun - Johnny looks for more competition after beating the Devil in Georgia

A Dinner Owed - Choose Your Own Adventure

Prompt Fiction:

A Devil You Don’t - Mephistopheles and Raphael Fan Fiction (NSFW, CW: Non Con)

Fan Ficlets:

Horus Crysst

External Links:

Raphael Doublet Style Sweater

[insomniamamma]

The anon button is not for hate. The anon button is for horny and embarrassed about it.

[miscling]

rb if you want people to be horny and embarrassed on anon in your inbox

[hydropyro]

Me: playing a 500 year old male drow cleric of Loviatar

Me: ‘stabalise’ the redbrand who switched sides mid fight and went down — with a knife across his throat.

My party: wtf? Why did you murder that redbrand we made a temporary and tenuous ally ship with?

Me: No! I tried to heeeaaalll him but I rolled a 1 😩 Loviatar giveth and she taketh

Me: making friends with goblin we captured because we don’t know where we’re going.

My party: remember what happened last time? (Holds up head of nothic I tried to adopt and who was turned against me against his will because he’s a mindless foodie and didn’t mean to hurt me)

Me: bah. Continues to make friends. Gets us to where we are going. Holds out money to pay goblin three agreed upon gold.

Chilltouch

My party: shocked and appalled. ‘He believed us! He was gonna get us inside!’

Me: Imma drow! I don’t trust that stupid subdrow goblin

[kyonite]

trying to create an ebay account to sell smthn and tell me why I can't use my REAL LEGAL LAST NAME because it includes "dick" which ebay considers offensive

BUT THEN IN THEIR MISREPRESENTATION POLICY THEY SAY YOU CAN'T COLLECT MONEY TO A BANK ACCOUNT THAT'S NOT IN YOUR BUSINESS OR LEGAL NAME. BUT MY LEGAL NAME INCLUDES DICK, WHICH YOU CONSIDER OFFENSIVE.

the sanitization of the internet is so fucking stupid we live in the stupidest time

[theconcealedweapon]

[maarvarq]

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

[theconcealedweapon]

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

[tiny-space-whale]

No but like literally, actually. All bits aside.

He didn't do it.

The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.

Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?

From the moment of his arrest, even left-of-center media has been presuming his guilt without examining anything (e.g. calling him "the killer" instead of "alleged" or "accused") and then when I say he didn't do it, the nearest person chimes in with some quip that tells me they think he did do it but should go free anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would have the same attitude if he had done it. But he didn't. It makes me feel like the only sane person in the world, even among my staunchly leftist friends.

[hydropyro]

Fae creature in a dimension of the faewild: What is your name?

The smartest character in the party: ☝️🐯

My name is Morning [Antonius Felis Tigerius Grreatus Cerealis] Frost

[imjunebitch]

[hydropyro]

Achilles throwing himself to the ground crying to mom because the Greek kings won’t let you keep your sex slave like

[hydropyro]

Achilles was a twink

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk

[catchymemes]

[fractally]

don't worry about me when I say this but I think in a way being hunted for sport would be a relief. my nervous system would be like, wow. finally, a proportional reaction

[sforzzz]

this isn't right...

[progestrogenized]

awwwww, that second number is sooooo little and cute, look at it!! it's basically perfect🥺🥺🥺

[hydropyro]

I have some small peepis appreciation writing if anyone would want to read 👉👈🥺

[pitchburgh]

saw someone trying to roast this guy on reddit but all the comments were just like "fuck off, that's based"

nature is healing

[augustdementhe]

FUCK YEAH.

[hydropyro]

I AM A SUITABLE AUDIENCE

[weterpete]

Um no I'm pretty sure those are both switches

[prettyaveragewhiteshark]

[greenwithenby-deactivated201609]

People who prefer hot weather: Snow and ice are a pain, and the cold is just kind of uncomfortable even when you wrap up, you know?

People who prefer cold weather: MY SKIN LITERALLY MELTS OFF EVERY SUMMER I AM A FUCKING HUMAN SOUP AS WE SPEAK

[greenwithenby-deactivated201609]

you wouldn’t believe how many people reblogged this to whine about hot weather in the tags.

[nucleic-friend-deactivated20171]

too cold? put on another layer!

too hot? change into thinner clothes!

still too cold? put on another layer!

still too hot? uh, get naked I guess?

still too cold? put on another layer!

still too hot? Ţ̡̜̮̗̟̯͘ͅA̛͈͎̤͙̳̦̱̜̺̪K̢̻̥̥̥̪̙̜̩̗̼̤̻̻͖͍̜͈͉͠ͅE̟͕̩͔̪͓͔̥̦͇̣͇̳͕͉͜ͅ ̠̝̥̖̭̦̼́͝O̩̦͓̠͉̲̲̱̪̹̻̼̭̯͎͈̕͢F̷̸̢̛̙͇͔̜̙̮̗̲̤͇̯͡F̧̨̱̤̲̫͕͔̼̭͙̠̙͙̹̻ͅ ҉̫̠͓̙̠͔̕͜͠Y͡҉̴̘̭̬̳́O̶̶̧͚̞̣̯̩̫̜̩͉̤͎͖̖͟ͅU̶̵̺̠̪̘̱̮̮̙̻͈̣̦̭͠͝͞R̨҉̦̺͓̩̺͖̘̪̥̺͚̱͚͔̪͓̖̰ ̷̸̺͇̳͇̖̥̻̳͚̗̥͙̪̣́S̡̞̳͖̭̯͉̻̠͔̥̹̫̣̼̹͇͜K͏̧͍̪̗̖̜̫̙̱̫͈̟̝̮͈̻̺̯̟̠̀Į̧̙͙͔̠͖̟̕͝Ǹ͖͎̳͍̪̱̞͇̺̘̩͘͜͠

[the-mighty-birdy-deactivated202]

The cold is easily shut out, the heat is inescapable hell

[dashuramode]

THE TRUTH COMES OUT.

Avoidance techniques for the cold:

-more coats, fire, hot food and drink, stay inside, fuzzy sweaters, ear muffs, become a burrito

Avoidance techniques for heat:

-die, I guess.

[isharaytaoshay-deactivated20180]

FUCK. HEAT.

[lojdja]

Long time from posting anything here...

I hope Andrew Wincott will appreciate that small print from me when I meet him on Pyrkon in Poland ❤️