✶ pairing › shen ricky x gn!reader. genre › social media. warnings › insults ( lovingly ) also i’m not very funny lately 😕
FLORI ﾉ i made like for real four more screenshots before realizing i can only post this many 🙁 part two soon ? sorry guys he’s my bias and i’m delusional 🙁 also i stole the chauffeur joke i think its so funny like spelling bee ass ‼️ sorry here’s an extra
RICKY : hey, baby. ( fuzzy sounds, like he’s struggling ) gyuvin, i swear to god.
YN : hi, rui. how’s new york?
RICKY : lonely without you ( a protest can be heard from the background, and ricky sighs ). gyuvin wants to say hello.
YN : hi, gyuvin!
GYUVIN : hello! ricky is not lonely because he has me so he actually doesn’t need you and—
RICKY : will you shut up? ( footsteps, a door locking ). god, he’s annoying.
YN : he’s your best friend ( you chuckle ). did you lock yourself in the bathroom?
RICKY : literally not my fault i had to room with gyuvin because hanbin wanted to room with matthew. i usually room with matthew!
YN : yeah, so you’ve said. anything new happening over there?
RICKY : hmm… ( he seems to take his time to think, and his nails tapping on something can be heard ). well! i actually have gotten you lots of gifts.
YN : ricky! i told you i didn’t need anything, yah!
RICKY : yeah, well… i just love you, and i see you in every little thing. it’s just small stuff, i promise.
YN : like what? because last time you said small stuff, you bought me vogue sunglasses.
RICKY : that’s small!
YN : in size, sure. in price? hm…
RICKY : i got you that book you’ve been going on about, jiwoong-hyung found it whilst we were at barnes and nobles.
YN : no way! it’s taken me ages to — wait, why were you at barnes and nobles?
RICKY : to… buy books? i read too, you know!
YN : name one book, quick.
RICKY : youth in the shade? wait, that’s an album. ( he groans, and it mixes with your laughter ). whatever, i went because i was looking for the books you’ve had on your list for a while.
( silence, and from ricky’s side of the line you can hear yujin’s voice asking gyuvin — quite loudly — to play mario kart with him ).
RICKY : baby?
YN : i love you, rui.
RICKY : shut up. i love you more.
YN : i don’t think that’s possible, actually.
RICKY : you wanna bet?
YN : ( a giggle ) no, i’m good.
RICKY : yeah, sure. ( a pause ) i miss you.
YN : i miss you too, baby.
RICKY : i just… wish i could hold you. and kiss you. and take you on dates even if it’s at the dorm’s rooftop with badly lit scenery.
YN : two weeks, right?
RICKY : two weeks. ( sigh ) i think i’ll die.
YN : ( concern clear in your voice ) die? why?
RICKY : i just can’t live without you! ( he’s whining, obvious dramatics making you burst into laughter ).
YN : okay, romeo. i’ll be here when you come back, so don’t worry about a thing.
RICKY : facetime me every day from now on, okay? i love you.
YN : i love you more!
RICKY : no! i love you most!
CALL TIME : 43 MINUTES.
FLORI ﾉ new idea? i don’t know, i’ll probably do one of these for each zbo member and call it a day. requests are open again, by the way!
↳ warnings: lowercase intended, these r a lot longer than blurbs LMFAO, implied situationship at the beginning of jiwoong's?? mentions of drinking in zhang hao's, gunwook's is short sawry :(
↳ note: these r so fun i want to do a part 2 of just them as other taylor swift songs. taerae and hao's are my personal favs they are literally so cute i will die.
perm taglist (open): @tzuberry
― KIM JIWOONG.
↳ now playing: style by taylor swift.
jiwoong finds himself slowing his pace as your house gets closer into his view. the light thuds on the concrete pavement are the only sounds that are heard at this time of night in your neighbourhood, but it evokes a sense of comfort.
in hopes of distracting you from his slowing pace, he reaches out to thread your fingers into his. when he hears the hitch of your breath, he smiles- suddenly the thoughts of parting for the night turn into an overwhelming amount of admiration towards you.
despite never disclosing your relationship, it is clear that the two of you are very into each other. however, that didn’t stop the heavy question from lingering on your lips every time you see him.
(more under the cut!)
sure the silence was nice, but your overwhelming thoughts consume you and a question seems to sprout out unprovoked.
“jiwoong, i’m not the only one you’re seeing, aren’t i?”
of course, you couldn't blame anyone for also take interest in him either, he was attractive, dreamy and kind.
jiwoong seems to freeze for a moment, his grip on your hand loosening while the rest of his body tenses in reaction; quite the juxtaposition, but it showed that even in the most compromising situations, he chose to be delicate with you.
"yn, i-" when the sound of his wavering voice fills your ears, you instantly back down.
the last thing you wanted was to make him uncomfortable and lose him altogether, "sorry it's just- i'm so tired of this cat and mouse game-"
"yn." this time, his tone was quite the opposite of what it had been before. that was one thing you admired about him; the way he picked himself back up so easily.
you look at him with furrowed brows, your rambling voice slowly fading out as yours eyes meet his. "i'm the one who should be sorry... i may have been seeing other people but trust me- none of them compare to how much i feel for you."
watching as your lips part in surprise, a warm smile makes its way onto his lips before he continues, "you are worth more than i think i could ever give to you- but if you will have me, i'll try my hardest to give you everything you deserve."
"jiwoong, you have given me everything i have ever wanted and more."
― ZHANG HAO.
↳ now playing: you are in love by taylor swift.
it wasn't like mieun meant to do it of course- she was hammered; but even with that in mind, you couldn't help but be pissed. your clothes were now drenched in her concoction of drinks and spots were starting to dry, causing bits of your shirt to stick to your skin. thankfully, while you were patting your shirt with a wet paper towel, hanbin came over to offer to look after her while you either went home or found a change of clothes.
spoiler alert- you ended up doing both of those things.
however, the last thing you expected was to see your best friend zhang hao at the party as well- also as a designated sober friend. he watched the interaction from afar: your figure in distress as you try to find a way to either get home or get out of these clothes.
"yn!", he calls from over the music, and your head immediately turns in his direction. he gestures to you to follow him and you oblige.
"wait in the bathroom, i'll grab you the spare clothes i have in my car", he then opens the bathroom door for you and gives you a reassuring smile, before shutting it as you walk in.
after what felt like forever, a gentle knock sounds throughout the bathroom.
"it's me, i'll just leave the clothes hanging on the doorknob alright?"
you let out a small 'okay', before opening the door just a crack and reaching for the bag hung around the door knob and shutting it once again once it was in your grasp.
fortunately for you, the liquid had not gotten onto your jeans so you just had to change into his shirt. disgustedly stripping off your shirt, you turn on the sink and wash off any alcohol that had stuck to your skin and when you finally put on zhang hao's shirt- a whiff of his cologne wafts into your nose.
fighting off the blush that threatened to creep up on your cheeks, you take the leftover fabric from the shirt that draped just past your mid-thigh and tie it into a thick knot before leaving the bathroom altogether.
you hadn't expected zhang hao to just be a few inches from the bathroom waiting patiently for your return, but there he was, and his eyes lit up at the sight of you.
"you ready to get out of here?" he asks, silently basking in the sight of you in his shirt.
"but what about mieun?"
"hanbin's already taking her home."
to say the ride home was filled with conversation would be a big fat lie. it was quite silent, zhang hao's radio was turned down to almost a whisper. although you were itching to say something, you couldn't find anything to talk about and it seemed like zhang hao was very comfortable in the silence. did you only see him as a best friend? does someone who only sees someone as a best friend find it hard to find something to converse about with them? all the more, blush when they give you their shirt to help you out?
"zhang hao.." you started, but you couldn't seem to find words to let you finish.
after a few seconds following your failed attempt at conversation, zhang hao smiles gently before glancing at you briefly, "you're my best friend."
tilting your head at the cryptic statement, you want to inquire before he beats you to it, "but i'm in love with you. like truly in love."
licking your lips, your eyes never leave his figure. his eyes stick to the road, but you can tell he meant it- you could sense how he itched to look back at you, "i think i'm in love with you too..."
― SUNG HANBIN.
↳ now playing: call it what you want by taylor swift.
hanbin has made it very clear that he would do anything for you and more. if he had the ability to give you the world he'd also find a way to gift you the moon as well.
for example, when earlier today you had told him you were craving stir fried spicy pork- now he had just texted you that he was on his way with spicy pork and your favourite dessert.
when he arrived at your door with the biggest grin, both the stir fried pork and dessert in his arms, he quickly sets them down to replace them with you. the embrace was quick but full of every feeling that bubbled within him everytime he saw you.
when you lean in to peck him on his cheeks, his eyes catch a gold necklace with a heart pendant dangling from your neck. obliging to your kiss, he smiles before his hands move to rub the heart between his fingers.
you quickly blush- you hadn't expected him to notice the new necklace so quickly.
"what's this?", he asks, before a carving on the back of the heart scratches at his finger tips.
he flips it over to find his initials engraved on the back side of the heart- a big goofy grin finds its way onto his lips and you can't help but focus on each and every feature of his face as he reacts.
"you bought a necklace with my initials engraved onto it?"
"yeah... not in a weird possesive way or anything i just... the way you love me is the most precious thing in my life and i never want to forget what- or rather who makes it so precious in the first place..."
"we better get me one of your initials too then."
― SEOK MATTHEW.
↳ now playing paper rings by taylor swift.
matthew liked you. like really really liked you. he found it so unbelievable that you held the same emotions for him, but you did- and god did you know how to make it known.
you were on the same boat, matthew has always been the sweetest, most patient and understanding person you had ever met.
the night he had confessed to you while rewatching a romcom for the 13th time in a row had made it’s way into your “favourite memories” folder in your head.
he was everything you could ever ask for and more- everything he did for you was so much even if it was just buying you your favourite snacks.
before you even considered your feelings for matthew, you considered yourself as someone who wasn’t exactly the most romantic- but when you were around him it’s like a switch flipped.
even if you adored the thought of the idea of a beautiful crystal sitting in the middle of your wedding ring, one which glistened beautifully when the light hit no matter the angle, even if matthew proposed with a ring made of newspaper- you’d accept it in a heartbeat.
“what you thinkin’ about?” he drawls, nudging you by the shoulder as he left no space between the two of you on the couch.
“mm.. js’ really love you.” you smile, glacing at him with adoration.
his eyes crinkle as he smiles and he grabs your arms and pulls you closer to him- if even possible.
“i think the world of you.” he replies, hands resting on your thighs as you were now straddling his waist. you knew that even if that engagement ring was made of newspaper, matthew’s neverending fondness for you would make up for it.
― KIM TAERAE.
↳ now playing: fearless by taylor swift.
as much as you felt bad for leaving your coworker's wedding, it was getting boring and you weren't about to waste the 150 dollars you spent on a nice outfit just to sit and clap while others danced.
thus leading you to be drive down the dark streets in taerae’s car with the radio on blast. the late summer rain started pouring, but taerae's windshield wipers found it easy to wipe away any droplets of rain from the windshield.
lovers wasn't the right word to describe your relationship with taerae- it more of you having a crush and not knowing if he felt the same. way he looked in a button down, his blazer discarded in the backseat, and his sleeves folded up to his elbows.
he hums along to the song while you simply stare, he looked so good right now- that wasn't exactly what someone should be thinking about they're best friend, right?
"the rain's starting to pour really hard, how about we park at the 711?", his suggestion immediately snaps you away from your stupor and you find his eyes glancing back and forth between you and the road.
"uh- yeah... that's fine."
when taerae pulls into the parking lot, he cranks the radio even louder and you look at his with a raised brow, "c'mon!"
widening your eyes at the sight of him opening his door to make way for the pouring rain, he steps out and kneels to make eye contact with you, his gaze expecting you to do the same.
"what?!"
"we didn't leave the wedding just to not have any fun, c'mon!" you bite your lip in contemplation at his reasoning- surely it was a good argument.
nodding to yourself, you open your door and try not to flinch at the feeling of the rain starting to soak your well done hair.
taerae quickly makes his way you your side of the car, keeping the door of the passenger side slightly agape to hear the blasting radio better.
once he turns back to you, you swear you had tunnel vision- his hair was slicked back by his own doing as the rain soaked it and so was his button-down.
he takes hold of one of your hands and raises it above your head, twisting it to help you spin- the sudden action makes you grin.
then he grabs onto both of your hands and starts to dance, relishing in the way the music echoed throughout the desolate gas station parking lot.
"taerae! my clothes were 150 dollars, i don't know if playing in the rain would make the price worth it", you say between giggles. even as you said it, you complied with his dancing.
he tilts his head in amusement, watching as you too enjoyed the moment albeit the comments that were meant to bring the two of you back to reality, "alright then, if we get it dry cleaned and i take you out to dinner, will it be worth the price then?"
he pulls you close, the two of you stopping in your tracks and a burst of confidence surges through your veins, "yeah... it'll be worth every moment i spent thinking about you too."
― SHEN RICKY.
↳ now playing gorgeous by taylor swift.
your relationship with ricky was simply that there wasn't one. sure you were acquaintances as you know each other through mutual friends and those mutual friends hang out a lot, but you just can't seem to talk to him.
grudgingly, you'll admit that you don't talk to him because you hate the butterflies he gives you from simply looking at you, or the fact that you swear you would melt into a puddle if he smiled at you.
however, for ricky, he enjoyed how painfully obvious your ignoring of his existence was. sure, he found himself smirking at himself at the thought of you unable to even maintain eye contact with him when he asked you a question, but had he ever found out why? the answer was no.
maybe it was because of the rumour that you truly did have a boyfriend? perhaps the rumour had been true and you were simply just avoiding him because your boyfriend had asked you to. or it was something completely unrelated to even having a boyfriend at all and you just had some problem with him that he was unaware of.
he settled on the former- he didn't want to suffer through a headache due to mindless thinking.
however, his observation was clearly proven wrong when he finds himself left alone in a room with you after both of your guys' friends went to the convenience store without you two knowing.
the silence was awkward, ricky watched as you fidgeted with your fingers and absolutely avoided even looking in his general direction.
"why won't you look at me? or talk to me? we've known each other for 2 months now..."
you purse your lips and finally find the courage to meet his eyes, you quickly regret that decision as you find it hard to look away.
"i'm not good with talking to people..."
"such a cop-out answer", he chuckles, his smile only making your heart race faster than it already was.
"do you have a boyfriend?" the casualty of his question catches you off guard and you part your lips in surprise, an obnoxious questioning sound coming from your lips.
"what made you think that?!" you finally manage to sputter out an answer, and ricky gives you an entertained smirk- you feel like you will melt in your spot if he keeps it up.
"so you aren't avoiding me because you have a boyfriend?"
"what kind of nonsense is that? i'm avoiding you because you're really cute and i hate that just by looking at me i find myself unable to process anything!"
a few seconds of silence overlaps the two of you before you snap your mouth open in distress, "shit..."
"hey, don't stress, we can take this slow. at least now i know why you were avoiding me."
"take things slow..?"
"you didn't think i'd care about you ignoring me if i wasn't an ounce interested in you, did you?"
― KIM GYUVIN.
↳ now playing: cruel summer by taylor swift.
you were in quite the predicament. kim gyuvin was your brothers best friend, not someone you could have a crush on. you two were friends, not close of course; only usually talking when your brother was around. after all, it would be quite weird to hang out alone- at least in your opinion.
in all fairness, you hated your relationship with him. you hated keeping secrets from him just to keep him around. sure, it was selfish to wish for more, if you told him you liked him and it didn't turn out well, your brother may end up losing his best friend too.
however, you were in much luck. your brother along with gyuvin had just graduated. you once had overheard the two talking about moving out together and going to a school the next city away.
summer was dawning in, the rain started to leave and your mind turned it gears with careful cogs. now was the perfect time to confess- if he rejected you, your relationship would not weigh in on his and your brothers', if he said yes- well, you hadn't really thought about it.
either way, either ending satisfied you. you didn't expect much from it, really- but the thought of having a chance to keep him around filled your being with much hope.
it was at least 1 hour past midnight. you went down to grab a small midnight snack, the weight of seeing gyuvin in the living room with your brother free from your chest after hearing the snores coming from your siblings' room just down the hall.
as you turn from the stairs to face the kitchen, you find a tall brunette sitting at the kitchen island, eyes already on your figure.
"oh-"
"hey", his smile was gentle, his voice was laced in fatigue but he didn't seem to want to move in his spot, almost waiting for something- or someone?
"sorry, i thought you were asleep. i heard snoring..."
"oh, your brother fell asleep five minutes into the movie, i couldn't stand his snoring so i brought him up to his room", he chuckled, you find yourself smiling at the sound.
you walk towards your stove, feeling a little intimidated as his gaze does not leave your body.
"you happy you graduated?" you ask, your back turned towards him as you set a pot of water onto the stove.
"hm, bittersweet feelings."
"why's that?" you furrow a brow, staring at the water in the pot, praying it would boil faster.
"js' wish i had done somethings while i was still in highschool... 'dunno"
you only hum, the thought of confessing digging itself to the top of your brain. was now a good time?
"yn?" you blink, turning you head in his direction. had you been in a trance for an embarrassing amount of time?
"think you could make me a pack too?" he gestures towards the singular pack of ramen sitting atop the counter. you tense for a moment before complying, turning to the pantry to retrieve another pack.
by the time you make your way back in front of the pot, the water is already boiling. you open both packets, dumping the noodles in and pulling the flavour packets out. turning the heat to medium, you still refuse to turn your body back towards gyuvin in fear.
now. right now is the best time.
"you thought about the university you want to go to once you graduate-"
"gyuvin i like you... it's bad."
taking his silence as a definite no, you try to blink away the tears the surface, eyes burning into the noodles that slowly softened in the water.
you think that he's found his escape, quietly going up the stairs while your back is still turned but you find your observation wrong. a gentle hand wraps around your wrist and beckons you to look at the culprit.
when you turn, you expect to find gyuvin looking at you with sincere apology. instead, you find a coy smile on his lips.
"what's so bad about that?" you look at his eyes in exasperation, searching for evidence of a joke- was he teasing you right now?
"you're my brothers best friend! not to mention you're moving away!"
"would you believe me if i told you that your brother knew about my crush on you?"
"what?!" gyuvin snickers before putting a finger to his lips, sure you were being adorable- but too loud at 1am.
he turns to turn the heat on the stove off before looking at you again, "and we've decided we're not moving... we both didn't get in so we're staying here to go to uni."
letting out a breath of relief, you still shook in your spot, "so you don't think it's weird that you're best friends with my brother and i'm his sister who has feelings for you?"
"what, is there some love handbook i don't know about?"
you can't help the light-hearted laugh that erupts from your throat at his sarcasm, "no... i guess there isn't."
"good, because not telling you i liked you before i graduated was my one and only regret..."
― PARK GUNWOOK.
↳ now playing: message in a bottle by taylor swift.
park gunwook was an admirable classmate of yours. he was bound to have admirers, he was class prez after all. his ranks were good and he is attractive- no denying that.
what is embarrasing however, is how you found yourself as one of those admirers.
it started off with simple notes of motivation. you only signed with an anagram. then, it turned into small gifts from the school store.
you revelled in the way he surveyed the room after each time he read a note from you, or the way he would ask his friends if the had seen someone set something on his desk.
however, you were diligent with being sneaky. you would only set something on his desk when the hallway and classroom were clear- it was usually during lunch or, if you got to the school too early, you would do it then.
what you weren't diligent with though, was estimating his intelligence.
arriving at the school late today, you rush into the classroom, praying that teacher was also running late. to your misfortune- he was not.
you stops you at the door, publicly announcing your arrival, making your rushed morning even worse before handing you a detention slip and dismissing you to your desk.
you set your bag down beside the desk chair and when you look up, a light pink sticky note tabbed to your desk catches your eye.
you frown before sitting down, grabbing the sticky note and fumbling to read it.
"thanks for the gifts yn- or should i say, my secret admirer. want to go to the convenience store with my at lunch? - p. gunwook" it read.
in surprise, you perk your head up and immediatley jerk your head into his direction. he was already looking back at you, a bashful smile on his face accompanied by a shy tilt of his head.
a goofy smile breaks through it restraints before you could stop it and you nod- suddenly your morning wasn't too bad.
― HAN YUJIN.
↳ now playing: enchanted by taylor swift.
han yujin did not think that the last thing that would be engraved in his mind after gunwook’s birthday party would be you.
you were gunwook’s childhood friend- sure he’d mentioned you every once in a while, but yujin had never truly met you.
he was glad that gunwook’s birthday party gave him that chance.
you were absolutely captivating- the way you looked in your formal yet casual attire, the way you lit up around the people you were close to, and the kindness you spread to everyone even if you didn’t know them.
yujin actually had the chance to talk to you, probably the main reason you had been lingering in his mind since he had left the gathering.
gunwook had pulled you over to finally introduce you to his friends. when you introduced yourself, he found out that you were actually from around here, just attending a different school.
the two of you actually hit it off pretty well, while gunwook and gyuvin were goofing on the dance floor, yujin and you just decided to sit and watch.
as he grew to know more about you; your school life, your friends, you rank in class, your hobbies and more, he couldn’t help the pit that grew in his stomach.
with everything that you do, you were bound to have someone interested in you- or have your interest lying on someone else, right?
little did yujin know that you were thinking just the same. it would be impossible to imply that yujin has never had an encounter with an admirer, let alone have his eye on someone.
when you two parted ways at the party, the longing to see eachother again had already started to set in. after a few bittersweet goodbyes, you two got into seperate cars and headed home.
as if the world heard both of your prayers, the next week, yujin was invited to hangout with gunwook and a few other friends- he could only hope that by “a few other friends” you would make an appearance.
and you did.
the way your eyes lit up at the sight of him gave him his answer. the only person you had been waiting for was him.
synopsis ; gunwook and reader were lovers in their past life but a certain accident kills the two, separating them. gunwook, who remembers all his past lives, made it his personal mission to find reader over and over again, even if it meant living multiple lifetimes without them
genre ; based on see you in my 19th life ! (was listening to one of their ost while writing this) reincarnation, soulmates if you think, angst, i-love-you-in-every-universe, deaths
pairings ; gunwook x reader, mentions of junhyeon
word count ; 1.5k words
“look at what i got!”
gunwook looks up and sees you wearing a new semi-formal outfit. the both of you were in his house, just wanting to spend the day together. gunwook shows you his signature smile and ruffled your hair. maybe there are good things to look forward to in life. “i think you look great, what’s the occasion?”
“no occasion, i just wanted to look good.”
gunwook smiles again and pokes your cheek. he does not hesitate to show you how much he adores you. he had lived so many different lives that he never bothered to find love, but yet you, were different. knowing most of his lives were short-lived, he never hesitated to tell you how much you mean to him. this time though, he is praying for a life where he could grow old with you. “you always look good,” he says, admiring you once more.
you blushed slightly and hit his shoulder playfully. “you and your way of words-“
he grins and gives you a hug, cutting your words off. “let’s go out today. we can’t let that good outfit go to waste, can we?” he holds your hand and picks up a few of his belongings, before leaving the house and heading to the car. he opens the car door and lets you go in first. “after you, my lady,” gunwook says in a british accent. you laughed at his words and get in, gunwook closing the door after you before getting into the driver’s seat.
you both drive off, you admiring how gunwook looks while driving. how could you get so lucky? you were not that affectionate of a person but gunwook knew that he means to you as much as you mean to him. “hey gunwook have i ever told you-“
the screeching of the tires rang throughout your ears, causing the both of you to flung forward and back, your foreheads bleeding upon impact. glass shards flew everywhere, cutting your skin before you passed out momentarily.
no, no, no! gunwook panicked when he regained consciousness, barely able to open his eyes. the both of you were now on the ground, the car flipped over. he quickly unbuckled his seatbelt and crawled his way towards you, unbuckling yours and trying to drag you out of the car with as little energy he have left. “yn! wake up! please!” he pleads, tears pouring out of his eyes. he pokes your cheek softly, hoping you wake up. he feels his energy start to drain away and he knew he did not have that much time left.
“yn, you can’t hear me but-“ his voice cracks and he lays down beside you, losing his energy. “i will find you, please, remember me.” gunwook was crying by now, you weren’t responding to him. “i will remember you so promise me you will, please?”
sirens were ringing in his ear and he wanted to see you do any sort of sign that you heard what he said. why was life so unfair? why did his current life end so early when he was finally happy?
“yn, i-“
and it all went black.
first life without you . .
gunwook groans. he was reborn as the son of a conglomerate family. although his current life is luckier than most, he could not enjoy it.
you weren’t here.
he did not know where to start. how could he find you? what are the chances you will remember him? or your past life? he was currently 23 years old, twenty-three years without you.
“i arranged a blind date for you,” his father enters the room, giving gunwook the details. he sighs but doesn’t protest. going on blind dates was the fastest way to find you.
he went on the date, but he did not like it. she was someone who was arrogant and believed she should get her way, which was so different from you that it disgusted gunwook. he left halfway through the date, not wanting to deal with her further.
how much longer could he live without you?
third life without you . .
gunwook was reborn as the son of a nice couple that owns a family restaurant. gunwook took full advantage of the fact, serving and helping out as much as he can. with more customers, the higher the chance he could find you.
he has now lived forty-eight years without you, his previous two lives being short, but it wasn’t worth living if it meant you weren’t around.
“this is for table 2.” his mother handed him a tray with stir-fried noodles with mayonnaise all over it and tempura on the side. gunwook looked at the dish. it was your favourite food. he remembers the first time he has seen you eating this particular combo and how unappealing it looked, but you were adamant on how good it was. gunwook had once took a bite and realised it was actually delicious but because he did not want to admit you were right, he would make the dish behind your back.
the memory brought a smile to his face and he quickly went to serve the dish, a little hopeful but to his dismay, it was someone that he immediately knew wasn’t you.
“enjoy your food,” he says, a little disappointed before turning away.
sixth life without you . .
gunwook has now lived a hundred and fifteen years without you. in this life however, he was blessed with the ability to sing and dance. in fact, his name was the one he was given when he first met you. he was park gunwook again.
“you should audition to be an idol!” his friend, kum junhyeon, would constantly tell him but gunwook would always shake his head, disagreeing. he does not want to bring any attention to himself, when he still could not find you.
“you being an idol or famous could help you find that person you have been wanting to find-“
gunwook did not have to listen further. he immediately recorded and posted a video of him singing to a song and it went viral almost immediately. he has been scouted by companies to train under them but he declined them all, hoping to stay independent. junhyeon, however, has taken the role of his manager, helping gunwook edit videos and secure any deals.
a year or so have past by since then and gunwook made a small name for himself. he performs at small cafes and restaurants and holds small fanmeetings every now and then. only to find you, of course, but yet, he was making very little progress.
“the fansign starts in a few minutes,” junhyeon mentions, preparing gunwook before he gets on stage. “maybe the person you like is here?”
gunwook sighs. he does not want to give up but his chances are getting slimmer and slimmer. “i don’t know man, what if they aren’t here?”
junhyeon gives his friend a sad smile. “even if they aren’t maybe …” his eyes goes all over the place, finding a way to cheer his friend up. “i am sure they are cheering for you from afar!”
gunwook returns a smile before heading onto stage, greeting fans and soon, the autograph session begins. an hour or so passed, the autograph session ending but with no sign of you. he has lived over a hundred years without you, how much longer must he live till he finds you again?
“no luck?” junhyeon asked, patting him on the back. gunwook shakes his head, disappointed but not surprised. junhyeon drops him off at home, assuring him that there is a right time for everything. he drives off, leaving gunwook standing in front of his apartment block.
disappointed and sad, gunwook heads to the nearby convenience store. he did not have the urge to cook anything. he goes in and bought a few items for himself, planning to have his late-night snack in the store itself. he opens a bag of chips and pops a few into his mouth when-
“i didn’t go to the fansign.”
gunwook, intrigued, turned to look at the person who was sitting a few chairs away from him, talking onto the phone. for a moment, he thought it was about him but he wasn’t that famous so he dismissed the thought away, not wanting to stare.
“i wanted to okay! but my boss needed me to work and i just … didn’t go. it’s probably better that way, i would have panicked and not talk at all as soon as i see the park gunwook.”
gunwook’s ears perked up and looked right back again. the way the person said his name felt all too familiar.
“there will be another chance in the future-“ the person turned to looked at gunwook and that’s when everything clicked.
it was you.
“i have to go, bye.” you hung up the phone and stared at gunwook, embarrassed that you were just fangirling over him when he was right beside you. but an unknown feeling came over you as you look at him. then, everything clicked.
SHORTCUT. sometimes, being loved is harder than loving. most of the time, your heart feels like a drum off beat — jiwoong loves strong, and he loves you like the sun. what are you supposed to do with that?
&&&. kim jiwoong x gn! reader. established relationship, insecurities on yn’s part. to be loved is the be changed. to love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. the word love is said so many times.
requests are open!
sometimes, it feels like you’re growing a second heart that’s just… just for jiwoong. you already have your barely beating heart, beaten and bruised yet so filled with adoration for those around you — still, your boyfriend takes up most of its nooks and crannies.
you realize, after he asks you a simple question, that there’s barely any space for love towards yourself.
“babe,” he speaks into the quiet room. it’s a rare night where you’re both in your apartment because jiwoong doesn’t have schedules the next day. it’s lovely, calm. “how do you… you love you, right?”
the dimmed led lights in the room make you sleepy, so you reply with mumbled words: “i love you, yeah.”
jiwoong laughs. “no, i’m asking if you love yourself.”
oh. huh, okay.
you turn your head from where it’s stuffed against the pillow, and you shrug. “i guess so.”
“you guess so? it’s a yes or no question, darling.”
sleepiness crawls through your body, pokes at your eyes. still, you fight to stay awake. your boyfriend seems like — well, he’s always worried about something, but he seems really concerned about this.
“it’s just—” you yawn, snuggling further into the covers. “—really hard to love myself when all my love is inside someone else.”
“baby,” jiwoong starts. he’s using that voice he uses when he catches you sneaking yujin candy, or when you put a boiled egg inside the microwave… yeah. that voice. “your love should be yours, and it should be towards you.”
you think for a little, and you don’t know how to say everything running through your head. i can’t love me because all the space that was once meant for me i gave to you. you’re everything i love and i am everything i feel a little to the left. you, you, you — you’re my love. love poems threaten to slip from your lips.
“how am i supposed to love me if my heart isn’t even mine anymore?” your heart is jiwoong’s. it has been jiwoong’s for the longest time now. “i want to… i want to love me, but loving and being loved don’t mix well in my stupid head.”
jiwoong drops his phone, which had been stuck on a conversation in the groupchat with his members. he turns to his side, staring right into you and at you and through you… you feel stripped bare of all protection yet like nothing can come close.
you let your boyfriend craddle your cheek with calloused hands.
“i love you,” he says. jiwoong seems like he wants to say more — he always wants to say more, but he keeps his sentences short.
you hum. “i love you too. my heart is yours, i promise.”
“it’s mine?” he asks. you nod, feeling his fingers play with your earlobe and drowsiness fights against the urge to stay awake. “i promise i’ll take care of it.”
he does, so well. ever since jiwoong started loving you, you’ve felt like the world is lighter and the starts are brighter. handpainted stains decorate every corner of you jiwoong has touched, and there’s no plans of cleaning the color away — you carry him. you want to carry him.
“and—” jiwoong continues “—as your heart is mine, i’ll make sure to keep it safe it until you can hold it by yourself. i’m like… the keeper of it.”
you can’t help it, you chuckle. he’s serious, you know this, but it seems rather silly : to be having this conversation, to be loved in such a way. do you even deserve it?
so, you ask if you do.
“don’t be dumb now,” your boyfriend replies, brows furrowed. “since when are you a dummy?”
“you literally called me the silliest person alive two hours ago.”
“yn.”
a hum, sort of cracked in your throat. he smiles at you under dim light of the bedside table. you feel like a dream — like jiwoong is a dream. and he’s your dream and your boyfriend and… and you love him crazy.
“i love you,” you say.
“okay,” he replies. “i love you more. you deserve this love.”
“you say that like your love is special.” it is.
he laughs. “i say that because you’re silly, baby. because you need to know you deserve to be loved. because i orbit around you in ways i never thought i could.”
“i’ll love myself,” you reply, and he smiles. “if you love me, i must be pretty great, i guess…”
“oh, shut up.”
( —ㅅ— ) : this came 2 me in a dream… no it didnt it came to me after thinking abt self love for an hour. i love me i hope u love u too !!!! jiwoong will hold our hearts when loving ourselves is too hard… 😋 this is messy and rushed tbh not my best work but 🚀 Blast Off. first fully written work slayage. oki bai
