and if your life won’t wait: spoiler free 2022 update
hello dear readers. if ur here from my fic welcome. if u just follow my blog, sorry. also, go read my fic.
okay, a… lot has changed since i started this thing. moment of silence for all cis tua writers with unfinished works from before season 3. im literally a trans man and had no idea how to handle this. im also completely disconnected from the fandom and i have no idea how other people have been doing it lol. anyway.
in regards to my fic, season three changed three big things for me. 1). viktor 2). klaus’ reincarnation powers are more fleshed out and canonical 3). my perceptions of the characters
viktor’s whole deal is probably the most relevant, so ill start there. when i started this fic, i had absolutely zero idea that elliot page would come out as trans, and subsequently his character would change as well. so the first ~5 chapters make absolutely zero mention to him being trans. the way i saw it, going forward i had two options. control f and retrospectively make him both trans and transitioned (which i honestly think is not only a valid option but one that i lowkey wish id done, way fucking easier) or rework his planned story arc around gender identity.
look. i said it already. im trans. i was deeply attached to viktor BEFORE he came out. he’s my guy. i have to write a coming of age trans story for him, even if that means dead naming him for a few chapters while we get there. he’ll be okay. he’s fictional. he’s figuring it out. this is a story about learning to let your family be in your life in a meaningful way so you can actually be happy. in the context of the fic, he also just watched his brother die and come back to life, so he’s a little preoccupied. don’t worry though, if there’s one thing you can count on the hargreeves to do, it’s prioritize their own personal drama in the midst of extremely important things happening around them.
i don’t write shitty endings for trans people. he’s going to have his little moment where he triumphantly cuts his hair and wears a too big button down with all the confidence of a seventeen year old freshly off their meds. i love him. please trust me. ive made the decision that the story i want to tell involves him not figuring things out for a little while, but he will figure them out. worry not. i came up with an incredibly convoluted excuse to get him pamphlets from an lgbtq resource center. you’ll see.
as for klaus… keep in mind reading these first few chapters that i was working with the knowledge of the first two seasons. that’s the knowledge with which i built this worlds life and death system. season three didn’t change too much, except canonize klaus’ ability to come back to life, and confirm that reginald did know about this ability and tested it in him, aka killed him over and over again until he was satisfied, and then klaus repressed the whole thing. tua plays pretty fast and loose with ghost rules, so i pretty much ignore all that to do whatever the shit i want, but this was really important to the plot, so i had to make a decision about whether or not i was including it.
there’s a bit of a mystery element that comes in down the line pertaining to reginald’s role in the story, so i wont say too much, but i did want to address it! just know that yes, i do understand the worlds death rules, i promise. this fic’s premise is basically taking their dumb death rules and throwing them out the window so that i can tell a story about family bonding. however, im really proud of the direction the story ended up going in light of the new season, and im excited to share it with you.
the third thing is characterization. now, this could be its own post, so ill keep it brief, but to me season three proved a few very important things about the hargreeves. they’re mean as fuck, irredeemably stupid, and love each other almost as much as they love their own respective attachment issues. they are a mess. im fucking obsessed with them. they love each other, and are incapable of being normal about it. it’s perfect.
a few important things to note:
- ben is as much of an asshole as the rest of them! confirmed!!! he may have been the nicest of them, but they’re all terrible, he’s just a little less terrible! big win for the ben is a dick community (population: me and klaus)
- as kids, allison was nicer to viktor then anyone. allison was NICER. TO VIKTOR. THEN ANYONE. that is such a wonderful revelation to me. i always interpreted their relationship as more like allison was trying to make amends and knew she had to make amends with viktor specifically, but no! allison was nice to viktor!! nicer. then ANYONE. i could talk ab s3 allison for a million years. she might be a little irredeemable. but i love her. and this fic and every fic forever will be allison friendly
- mostly just a gentle reminder that i am not writing about bitter thirty year olds carrying around decades of trauma and horror. i am writing about fresh faced seventeen year olds who have never had a brother like, actually die, never spent years on the street or on the moon or completely alone or getting into fights or watching their brother slowly kill himself or being an a list celebrity. they have the potential to be those bitter assholes, they really do, but for now, they’re kids. i want to write kids. the world is so bad. i want to write a coming of age where kids having their family with them gives them a happy ending. this is what i want and i will not give this up for any reason.
thank you for reading, sorry it’s a monstrosity of a post <3
