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YOU ARE THE REASON
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Keni
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@hyperfixation-hopscotch
Nik: Dinner will be ready in an hour or so, please be comfortable! Happy holidays.
Soap: Um. Why's it sound like a battlefield in the kitchen?
[Heard from the kitchen]
Graves: If you baste that bird ONE MORE FUCKIN TIME--I JUST DID!
Price: Oh work on the bloody mash n quit pokin yer nose in the oven!
Graves: MY mash is just fi--DID YOU ADD PAPRIKA TO MY CASSEROLE??
Price: SO WHAT IF I DID?
--
Gaz: I'm... scared of dinner.
Ghost: Mm. Sounds like home for the holidays.
Nik: Simon.......
beach season!
Been thinking about how Big Lad Nikolai stays nimble and quick enough as an operator, despite being the size of a tank. Random Slavic martial artists come up trumps every time. You just know he has this insane workout for agility and flexibility.
Bunny hybrid reader in heat me thinks.....instead of being a cute, whiny thing you just become feral, ripping Niks clothes off the moment you catch a sniff of him.
You proceed to ride his cock like it owes you money, taking him furiously for hours with no end until the big russian man, known for being ruthless in bed, is whining and beggin for you to stop once he felt you had successfully dried the life out of his dick, fat tears running down his face from overstimulation.
nik would say ''walk it off'' right after rearranging your guts and bend your legs in unthinkable directions btw
“You’re getting a vasectomy.” Those are the first words you say when John answers the phone, your tone firm.
He chuckles, the sound rumbling over the line. “Well, hello to you too, love,” he says, leaning back in his desk chair, lifting his feet up to rest on his desk. You can practically hear the smirk in his voice when he speaks again. “Any particular reason you want me to have the chop, or are you just mad I left my socks on the floor again, darling?”
You normally would laugh at that little joke, but not today. Today you roll your eyes, your grip tightening on the phone as you think about all the reasons you need him to have a vasectomy.
All five reasons, to be exact.
Your two eldest children are currently at school. Your middle child, the toddler, is clinging to your legs. The youngest is napping in the nursery. And you’re staring down at yet another positive pregnancy test.
“It’s not the socks, my love. It’s because you’ve knocked me up. Again,” you reply, through gritted teeth and a tight smile. “And in case you can’t work it out, that’s number five.” You can practically hear his jaw snap shut on the other side of the phone. You can imagine how the smirk drops from his face.
John’s feet fall from the desk to the floor as he runs a hand down his face. Jesus christ. How is this possible? “…fuckin’ hell,” he rasps out, his tone a mix of disbelief and… pride. There’s something about knowing you’re pregnant with another of his children that makes him just a little feral… but he quickly pushes that thought aside.
“Sorry, love. I’ll call the doctors,” he mumbles, causing you to smile and hum to yourself.
“And you can pick up the kids from school today. And bring home a takeaway for dinner,” you say, the smugness evident in your voice. This whole situation is a mess, but that won’t stop you from using your pregnancy privileges.
John sighs, grinning to himself. “Of course, sweetheart. Whatever you want.”
It’s going to be another long nine months.
CAPTAIN PRICE Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 4
Price has, on mutliple occasions this week alone, verbally torn some poor unsuspecting soldier to shreds.
It's absolutely terrifying, given the captain hardly deals with anyone outside of the task force and never cared enough to properly yell. The entire base has been eerily tense, terrified of being the next to fall to his wrath.
Which, of course, means the team are insistent on figuring out what the hell is wrong with him.
They subtly track him around base, updating the group chat with any information. Price follows his usual routine with a firm scowl on his face, people leaving rooms when he walks in, but nothing out of the ordinary.
Not until gaz watches price step out to his usual place to smoke, walk and annoyed circle and do....nothing? Gaz is about to approach when price pulls out his phone.
"Hi, love," the scowl on prices face smoothes out instantly, and gaz knows he's talking to you, his spouse. "Just checking in."
He scrubs a hand over the back of his neck, the same motion he does after an exhausting mission "I miss you too, sweet'art. Just a few more days an' I'll be with you, okay?"
For the first time in weeks, price smiles that soft loving smile. Gaz narrows his eyes, waits for price to fish out a cig while he talks but...it never happens.
Instead, price pulls out a piece of gum, settles heavily against the wall, and asks with all the adoration in the world "how's baby doing?"
Oh shit.
Turns out, price has been on the verge of homicide because his beloved spouse is pregnant and he doesn't want to make baby sick smoking around the house, nor does he want to upset said spouse with the "most foul smell I've ever experienced, john" by smoking on base.
Price quit smoking cold turkey for you and his future kid.
hmmm angsty Nikolai thoughts time
Nikolai has been in his fair share of helicopter crashes. Seeing as they're the most dangerous flying craft out there, he knows he's stretching his luck. He knows, just like with any calculable statistical risk, he's due for something big.
But of course he flies anyway. And he'll do it till he can't lift himself into the seat anymore or until something takes his vision away.
And so he flies.
And when the inevitable crash comes. The one that leaves him unconscious in a hospital for weeks, fighting for any sort of mobility the next. And only then gaining not as near as much control over his limbs and digits he once had.
He is not... surprised. No. He has no right to be surprised. He is perhaps dissatisfied that it didn't just outright kill him.
But with time, and patience, and one stubborn British captain who refuses to let him fall alone and stay down long, Nik finds his life mostly coming back together.
He's got enough dexterity in his fingers to use the clippers on the lemon tree in his back yard, enough balance to reach up for the citrusy fruits, and enough energy to cook a meal for him and his husband to enjoy.
He is very lucky.
Simon limps down from the bedroom with all the finesse of a one-legged zombie, arms stretching above his head as he blearily greets the two men responsible for his stiff gait and foggy head. He gets another two steps in, one hand falling to his stomach to scratch at the hair on his belly when he realises neither of them have replied. Warily, he eyes first John then Nikolai.
"Wot?"
Nikolai breaks his leering first. Comes up to him with a cup of something steaming and sweet and kisses his with filthy fucking intent.
"That shirt is older than you," he says, tugging at the fraying hem as he guides Simon towards the kitchen counter and Simon doesn't even attempt to protest being bent over it when the speed of blood pooling south leaves him lightheaded.
It's too fucking hot outside
John Price who, like most repressed socially-awkward men his age, cannot for the love of god figure out how to confess to Nik.
So he tries to make it happen another way. He ‘accidentally’ books a hotel room with only one bed. They walk in, he feigns horror, the night is sorted.
Until Nik, so deep in love for this stupid man, sees John’s upset and argues with reception for a half-hour to get them to change it. John thanks him through gritted teeth.
Nik forgets his lighter; John says he’ll light Nik’s fag off his cigar. Nik thanks him, hugs him, says he’s a ‘great friend’. Price has never been more pissed.
It reaches a tipping point when Nikolai’s lounging on the sofa, shirt unbuttoned, looking like the best page-7-fella that he’d ever seen.
“Nik?” his voice is a little rough, as he’s more than a little taken aback by the sight before him.
“Yes?”
“Wanna watch a film?” Any distraction would be welcome, at this point, so John flounders for the easiest one.
Nik nods, clicks through several screens, they’re through, and Nikolai puts on Rocky.
Midway through, John lies onto Nik’s chest. Something about needing a pillow.
Nik jumps up so fast that Price nearly goes flying off the sofa, face first into a fucking ottoman (who even owns those??), and rushes to the bed to find a pillow for him to lie on.
The exact moment he gives up is right then. He throws the pillow back at Nik, glares at him, stands up. Goes to storm off.
The pillow thumps against the back of his head and John whips around, only to find Nik roughly a condom wrapper’s distance away. If Kate were here she’d call that one hell of a Freudian slip. John thanks his lucky stars that she does not, in fact, have access to his brain.
John pulls him into a kiss.
Graves: Attention, fuckers. It's Pride month so you shits better get your gay on and make me a proud papa peacock! Shadows: *start collectively losing their minds and start barking like dogs* (meanwhile with 141) Ghost: Happy gay day, Cap Price: What? Oh, it's June Ghost: Wow, you're a terrible person. Didn't even know it was Pride month Price: ... excuse me while I call my husband, lieutenant. We have reservations Ghost, leaving the room: Don't suck him too hard, you can't afford losing any oxygen to the brain Price:
Nikolai allows himself many comforts in life. Expensive alcohol, a nice collection of watches, good quality kitchen knives and a man who makes his head spin with his tongue.
The softest he allows himself is his daily conversations with Peanut.
Whether he be on the couch with her sitting on his lap, making biscuits against his belly and clawing little holes into his favourite t-shirt. Or standing in the kitchen, cooking a meal as she peers down at him from on top of the fridge.
On a rare occasion, it occurs when he's in the shower and she's bullied her way into the bathroom to screech at him from her perch on the bathroom sink.
"Did you enjoy your morning watching the birdies, sweetheart?"
"Mrrrp."
"You're right, I did see the robin. Well spotted."
"Nik- "
"Fuck off, I'm having a conversation. Wait your turn."
"Mreep."
"Exactly, the English and their impatience. You understand. Now, tell me about your time watching the birdies and I'll tell you what type of Dreamies I bought in Tesco."
Some more nikprice at @jayfall and others’ requests..🩶⛓️
Omega lieutenant Price, who gets knocked up from a one night stand and Alpha Nikolai, who, to help John avoid the shame and judgement that comes with being a single parent omega, claims the pup is his.
That's his baby, yep, he and John got drunk then fooled around. Oops. Anyway, he's gonna be a dad.
John smacks him upside the head for it behind closed doors, the pup isn't Nikolai's responsibility and he shouldn't feel obligated to care for it.
Nikolai just smiles at him, that stupid, dopey smile, and asks if he can get the baby a little onesie with a helicopter on it.
Ironically, the pup looks like Nikolai when she's born. John chooses to ignore that the men he's attracted to all look similar to the pilot.
Soap: Cap, why's it say on yer papers that yer married?
Gaz: Married? When did you and Nik get hitched?
Price: It's not Nik.
Soap: Wh--then WHO??
Price: Legally speaking, Kate and I are married in Moldova.
Soap:
Gaz: ... why?
Price: Classified.
