AAAND OPEN!

independent and private blog for claptrap of the borderlands franchise

[hyperionmistake]

stupiidrobots‌:

Let’s have some fun together              We’ll be best friends forever                                B.F.F., that stands for us 

reblog for some adorable robot content on your dash.

[hyperionmistake]

"Will they EVER stop makin claps? Shit, it's like ya'll multiply like skags overnight."

“WHY WOULD THEY EVER STOP MAKING US? WE’RE SO HANDY-- AND USEFUL-- AND WE CAN DO THIS!” With that, Claptrap breaks into an unmistakable dance. It’s terrible. He’s terrible. But he’s trying his best.

[hyperionmistake]

“SO LONELY.”

[hyperionmistake]

DO YOU LIKE AWESOME GRAPHICS?

WHAT ABOUT AWESOME GRAPHICS ON THE CHEAP?

OH SHIT– THEN IT LOOKS LIKE YOU’D BETTER COME ON DOWN TO THIS BADDASS MOTHERFUCKER RIGHT HERE.

I’LL MAKE YOU A PROMO IMAGE, DASH SIDEBAR, DASH ICON OR ANY OTHER SORT OF GRAPHIC YOU CAN CONCEIVE*!

YOU WANT SOME TRANSPARENT GRAPHIC FOR YOUR THEME? DONE. YOU WANT A FANCY NEW PROMO? DONE. YOU WANT ME TO DATE YOUR DAUGHTER? I MUST RESPECTFULLY DECLINE!

SO COME ON DOWN AND MAKE A REQUEST– THROW SOME MONEY MY WAY VIA THIS AWESOME LINK HERE AND WE’LL BE IN BUSINESS.

*within reason Max is not responsible for any dismemberment or loss of life as a result of his kickass graphics. If in fact you experience dizziness, fatigue, or loss of breath upon first sight of your amazing graphic, please seek emergency medical help.

EDIT: ALWAYS SAVE YOUR GRAPHICS AS A PSD PRIOR TO SAVING THEM AS AN IMAGE FILE BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW IF YOU’RE GONNA FUCK UP SPELLING THE WORD COMMISSIONS

[hyperionmistake]

" i'll save you claptrap. " uh oh, rhys, don't run and grab that unit.... aw shit, he's trying anyway. // KINGPERION

“YOU DO CARE!” Obviously someone had to.

“HEY PAL-- THAT’S MY COURT ORDERED LIFE COACH-EE!”

[hyperionmistake]

I JUST BLEW UP!!!!!!! THE OCEAN!!!!!!!!!! *AIR GUTAIR RIFF*

“HOLY SH*T! I DIDN’T THINK ANYONE COULD DO THAT! WELL THEN, ENJOY THIS ITEM AS A REWARD FOR COMPLETING THE QUEST, ALONG WITH THIS: I LOVE YOU!”

[hyperionmistake]

Mr. Torgue, whats your opinion on the Calypso Twins?

“THEIR SENSE OF STYLE IS VERY FASHION FORWARD. AS FOR HOW BADASS THEY ARE-- I DON’T KNOW YET-- NO ONE DOES! BUT I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING WHAT SORT OF SH*T THEY TRY TO PULL!”

[hyperionmistake]

" torgue, please, leave the claptrap units alone. i can't have hyperion's name... /tainted/, please. " // KINGPERION

“I’M PRETTY SURE IT’S BEEN TAINTED FOR AS LONG AS YOU’VE BEEN PRESIDENT. THEN AGAIN, YOUR OLD BOSS WASN’T ONE FOR MORAL DECENCY EITHER! REQUEST DENIED!”

“HE’S GONNA GET ME KILLED.” Someone save him from this court-ordered sponsorship.

[hyperionmistake]

I'VE GOT A BUSINESS PITCH FOR YOU: HOW ABOUT A GUN THAT SHOOTS MOTHERFUCKING CHEESEBURGERS, THAT EXPLODE INTO TINIER CHEESEBURGERS!?!?! WORLD HUNGER FUCKING SOLVED!!!!!! *AIR GUTAIR SOLO*

“THAT AIR GUITAR SOLO WAS F*CKING SICK! WE SHOULD RIFF TOGETHER SOMETIME! AS FOR YOUR SUGGESTION-- MEAT PROJECTILE GUNS ARE AN AWESOME IDEA!”

“HOW EXACTLY WOULD YOU MAKE THE CHEESEBURGERS APPEAR? IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING THAT’D VIOLATE CERTAIN LAWS OF PHYSICS.”

“THE LAWS OF PHYSICS ARE FOR P*SSIES! EXPLODING HAMBURGERS!”

[hyperionmistake]

hyperionmistake‌:

ATTENTION EVERYONE: UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE, THIS BLOG IS UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT. PLEASE ENJOY THE DULCET TONES OF ME, MR TORGUE.

I WILL NOW TAKE QUESTIONS. BUT ONLY IN THE FORM OF EXPLOSIONS.

[hyperionmistake]

THAT SENTENCE HAD TOO MANY SYLLABLES, APOLOGIZE!!!!!!!!!!!!

“IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO QUANTIFY THE BADASSITUDE OF THE COSMOS IN A SIMPLE SENTENCE.”

“THIS SH!T IS WILD.”

[hyperionmistake]

CAN YOU BLOW UP A BLACK HOLE!?!?!?!??!?!?!

“DO I LOOK LIKE A GODDAMN ASTROPHYSICIST TO YOU? JUST BECAUSE MY GREAT-GREAT-GRANDFATHER STUDIED EXPLOSIONS IN SPACE, DOESN’T MEAN I KNOW JACK SHIT ABOUT THEM.”

“BESIDES-- YOU CAN’T BLOW UP A BLACK HOLE. BLACK HOLES ARE EXPLOSIONS SO BADASS THEY DRAW EVERYTHING BACK IN ON THEMSELVES! NOT EVEN LIGHT CAN ESCAPE THEIR PULL-- AND THAT’S SCARY AS F#CK!”

[hyperionmistake]

Mr. Torgue, what are you doing on this blog? Oh and BOOM.

“THAT IS AN EXCELLENT QUESTION, WITH A LACKLUSTER EXPLOSION! BUT I’LL ANSWER ANYWAY. I HAVE BEEN ENCOURAGED TO PERFORM SOME COMMUNITY SERVICE. SO I’M ACTING AS A LIFE COACH TO THIS PATHETIC ROBOT!”

“HE’S MY NEW BEST FRIEND.”

“I DID NOT CONSENT TO THIS FRIENDSHIP! THIS IS A COURT-ORDERED SPONSORSHIP, DON’T READ INTO IT SO MUCH!”

[hyperionmistake]

KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

“THAT WAS AN AMAZING EXPLOSION. IT WAS F#CKING BADASS! I WISH I HAD THE VOCABULARY TO CONVEY HOW MUCH JOY IT BRINGS!”

“F#CK!”

[hyperionmistake]

ATTENTION EVERYONE: UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE, THIS BLOG IS UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT. PLEASE ENJOY THE DULCET TONES OF ME, MR TORGUE.

I WILL NOW TAKE QUESTIONS. BUT ONLY IN THE FORM OF EXPLOSIONS.

[hyperionmistake]

after dropping that shamelss self promotion i feel the strong desire to make a torgue blog.

[hyperionmistake]

DO YOU LIKE AWESOME GRAPHICS?

WHAT ABOUT AWESOME GRAPHICS ON THE CHEAP?

OH SHIT-- THEN IT LOOKS LIKE YOU’D BETTER COME ON DOWN TO THIS BADDASS MOTHERFUCKER RIGHT HERE.

I’LL MAKE YOU A PROMO IMAGE, DASH SIDEBAR, DASH ICON OR ANY OTHER SORT OF GRAPHIC YOU CAN CONCEIVE*!

YOU WANT SOME TRANSPARENT GRAPHIC FOR YOUR THEME? DONE. YOU WANT A FANCY NEW PROMO? DONE. YOU WANT ME TO DATE YOUR DAUGHTER? I MUST RESPECTFULLY DECLINE!

SO COME ON DOWN AND MAKE A REQUEST-- THROW SOME MONEY MY WAY VIA THIS AWESOME LINK HERE AND WE’LL BE IN BUSINESS.

*within reason Max is not responsible for any dismemberment or loss of life as a result of his kickass graphics. If in fact you experience dizziness, fatigue, or loss of breath upon first sight of your amazing graphic, please seek emergency medical help.

EDIT: ALWAYS SAVE YOUR GRAPHICS AS A PSD PRIOR TO SAVING THEM AS AN IMAGE FILE BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW IF YOU’RE GONNA FUCK UP SPELLING THE WORD COMMISSIONS