Another scene log from yesterday. Some small liberties with dialogue because who can remember everything? Anyways uh. This was really hot. And I loved it very much.
I was touching myself with my hitachi, and it was amazing. He was on my phone, keeping up the facade of polite conversation as I tried to stay conscious enough to actually talk. But we were in that space between my asking to be brainwashed and the actual brainwashing taking place. I was just softening myself for him, I knew that. And that was okay. That’s what we wanted.
“You know, you parrot things back a lot when you’re like this,” he said. He was smirking. “You repeat certain words when I say them. It’s cute. Like, brainwashed.” I had to actively stop myself from repeating it. Just to cling to a little bit of pride. I laughed and stuck my tongue out at him a bit. I was soft, but I wasn’t under yet.
“Maybe. But now that I’m aware of it-“
“But you’re not.” I blinked. “You’re not aware of it.” And I wasn’t. “Brainwashed.”
“Brainwashed,” I echoed, and part of me sank.
“And now you are again,” he said brightly. And I was. I blushed, and I was embarrassed, and I was incredibly turned on.
“That’s rude,” I sighed. This has become kind of a go-to response. Showing that what he was doing was objectively mean. Maybe it was a bit fucked up. And I didn’t want him to stop, but I liked to play along the edge of that. Pointing out how taboo it was made it hotter.
“Jude doesn’t mind, does he?”
“Jude doesn’t mind,” I repeated. I winced, feeling that hit me straight in the middle of my chest. Another bit of me sank. I shifted my position on the bed, staring at him on my phone screen.
“That really does just break you, doesn’t it?” he remarked casually. “When I tell Jude what he’s thinking and feeling. I wonder why that is.”
“It- it’s the d- depersonalization,” I managed to say. My voice was getting wispier the closer I got to the edge of cumming, or to trance. “The third person. Feeling like Jude isn’t a person. Fuck.”
“Mm. The depersonalization,” he repeated. I was still looking at him, but my vision kept going fuzzy as my eyes rolled. Every once in a while the vibrator just hit a new nerve on my cock, making me almost shatter. Almost. “You get kind of dumb when you’re like this too, have you noticed?”
“Um... kinda,” I said. I felt very small. I felt like his words were starting to change me, and he hadn’t even dropped me. He hadn’t done anything, but I was responding in time to the merest suggestion of what he wanted.
“I mean you were having a lot of trouble with that big word, weren’t you? I don’t think you can even say any words bigger than four syllables.”
“Let’s try. What was that word Jude used before?” And like that, my mouth wouldn’t obey my thoughts. I knew the word, didn’t I? I knew it. I was smart.
“Deeper?” He was smiling. He was cocky. I felt my pride flare up and shook my head insistently.
“No! No, it’s... it’s deep. No. Deperson- deeper.”
“Deeper.” I was gone. I had lost to myself and to him again. It was so good, god it made me so fucking wet. My brain all soft and empty and dumb for him. Knowing he made me this way. Knowing how much I didn’t know in that moment as I fucked myself. Knowing how far away I must look, how glassy my eyes were as I sank helplessly, but too willingly, into trance.
Brainwashed. As I should be.
baratheonpilled
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
prguitarman
gracieabrams
theartofmadeline
