Heyy there. Saw your posts and have to say - you're pretty balls out about your drug use. I mean - not there's anything wrong with that - you shouldn't have to hide it if you don't want to. I'm just curious, and I hope you don't mind me asking this - but, do you still have family, like parents in your life or do you not really care what they think or? I am not judging, just curious how you can be so open on the internet...I hope to hear back from you. Thx!
tbh as of now (7/19) i haven’t used in like three months, i saw myself using too much and distancing myself from my family and friends and made myself stop cold turkey and my husband took care of me (he knew i was using but he wasn’t) through withdraws and honestly i didn’t really tell anyone why i ghosted so hard so even now they’re still not aware, but i’m not afraid. i don’t think about using and i’m on here maybe once a week just to clear the notification bubble on the app corner lmao. so even if they do stumble upon it, i guess i’d like them to see this question and my answer. i don’t think about using anymore, it was a bad choice i made and it wasn’t fair to anyone nor myself so i changed. but it’s also changed my perspective. it was the first hard drug i was addicted to, or even tried for that matter. i smoked a little pot when i was 15 but shit i never took pills unless they were after my 2 c-sections. but now i don’t think less of those who did or still do use, i understand a little better now. i believe it’s made me a kinder person after the fact, but people shouldn’t have to experience that to have compassion for those struggling, i can pass on to my kids as they grow how to treat people better, in a way i wasn’t taught growing up. so yeah, it’s public, someone might see it. but i’m not hiding it, i just don’t feel it necessary to tell people now what had happened without provocation, i’m no longer in that space. i’m doing my best and taking care of myself and my family, taking everything day by day. and that’s enough of a change that i wouldn’t mind speaking about it, but i won’t bring it up now that i have confidence in staying that i don’t want to use again, fuck that man lol i can admit it seemed fun at the time but goddamn i almost lost myself, thank gods i had a support system that so many people don’t have, i wanna be a person that can help someone else now or prevent them from doing what i did. tbh now i do smoke a lot of pot but it has become medical for all the pain after being basically a stiff ass mummy for months and months at a time from smoking meth. the pot has helped me tremendously, but everyone’s gotta find what works for them. but they need support, whether you “think” something is going on or they tell you, just be kind. don’t let anyone use you for your kindness, but the little things mean a lot to the person that needs it most. sorry i rambled 😅
