i’m channie biased and have been a stay since 2022 ♡ im diagnosed anxiety/depression and im very open about my mental health on my blog ♡ i just want to create a safe space for myself and others ♡ i love to talk and make new friends so dont be scared to reach out! ♡
🚨this is an 18+ only blog 🚨
ageless and blank blogs will be blocked, no questions asked. (if you have fixed the issue, or feel you have been blocked unfairly, send a DM to my side blog @secret-orange-slice )
everything posted here is entirely fiction and in no way represents any member of stray kids in reality
my requests are currently CLOSED. i reserve the right to deny any request for any reason. if i don’t answer your request, it means im not comfortable with it or i just haven’t got to it yet. im extremely slow when it comes to requests, so pls be patient. feel free to send me a message for clarification. :)
i’m not on a posting schedule, i just post when i feel like it.
yall seen this yet? in the most respectful way possible… my mind is blank. like what are words. that man makes me dizzy. don’t wink at me like that. i would be a puddle on the floor jeeeeeze. he’s literally just sitting there like why is that so incredibly sexy. get it together emmy. deeeep breaths
having a pretty bad episode rn but i remembered you. i always do.
im grateful i stumbled upon your posts.
im grateful you exist.
thanks for being awesome.
🥺🥺 i’m really sorry to hear you’re having a bad episode. but im really glad that i could help in some small way.
i’m grateful you exist. and you’re doing a great job. even when it may not feel like it. i know things can get hard and scary and overwhelming but you’re still going. you’re still putting one foot in front of the other and that’s huge you’re doing great and you matter and i am proud of you. 🩷🫂
paring: readerxseungmin, relationship unclear- there's SOMETHING there, but could be lovers, could be besties, could be a secret unknown third thing
genres: angst, hurt/comfort
warnings: y/n clearly has depression
length: Drabble
brief summary: Today was not easy. But, you have one person who you'd let hear your silent cry.
A/N: When are these not self indulgent, let's be real. I also lowkey hate this cover pic thing but oh well
Title Inspiration Song: Silent Cry by Stray Kids
You have no idea what time it is. The only sound is the ambient noise thunderstorm you put on the TV hours ago. It's probably a different one now. You don't know.
You've laid there all day. Blanket pulled tight. Phone on the nightstand. Seungmin's hoodie hangs on your frame- you're lucky always that he likes things oversized like you do so they fit the way you like.
Your phone must've went off at some point.
You don't know.
You haven't moved. You got up to go pee at one point, and thats when you turned the ambient noise on.
You roll over, rubbing your eyes. the room is so dark it almost hurts, your vision blurry. Or maybe it's the tears in your eyes.
You grab your phone with hands that don't feel like yours.
You tap the unlock button. Seungmin's face, his bright puppy dog eyes and huge smile covering your lock scren.
Great. You've worried him. He never chain calls. Ever. He decides to leave people alone.
Yet here he is.
11 calls.
You click his messages. You don't even read the past ones.
"Mongie?"
The bubbles appear immediately. Like he was waiting, even now.
"Pup. Finally. Are you okay?"
You stare at it. No. You're really not.
"Can you come over?"
The bubbles pop up. The vanish. They pop up again. Then vanish.
Great. You've ruined it. You've fucking ruined it. You ne-
"On my way."
"I swear, pup, if this is because you watched a horror movie again I'm banning you."
A watery choke of a laugh comes out of your throat.
"Be there in 15. I'll use my key."
You lock your phone again. You slide it onto the end table, and curl up deeper into his hoodie.
You close your eyes.
The tears spring back, like a wound that won't close.
The thoughts swim in your head and you curl into more of a ball, wrapping your arms around a plush dog he gave you. It's fur is matted around the head, from so long of cuddling it to your chest.
You don't realize you're crying until you notice it's fur is wet.
You swallow them so hard it hurts.
The key is loud in the lock.
You hear the sound of the door locking again, his shoes coming off, and the shuffle of him on the familiar floors.
You count every step.
His voice carries as he gets closer to your door.
"Pup? I swear though if its s-" His snarky comment ends abruptly as he pushes the door open fully.
"Oh, jagiya…" his voice is soft in only a way you hear.
You hear him grab the TV remote by the TV, turning up the ambient noise and making sure it's a long video.
You don't see him, because your curled up too tight, but you hear him as he round the bed. He pulls his phone from his pocket- tap tap tap tap tap.
"I'm telling them we're on DND." He announces, voice still so soft it makes your chest break open and get filled all at once.
The soft click of his phone hitting the send table.
He pulls up the side of the blankets, and before you can even turn to him he's sliding in beside you.
His warmth is immediate. He's in a soft oversized hoodie- like the one you're wearing, but grey you notice as his arm slides around you. His chest pushes up against your back, and he pulls you back to him.
He doesn't ask whats wrong. He never does. You appericate it, always.
He doesn't tell you its going to be okay. He knows it might not be.
He just pulls you to him, holding you tight.
You take a shuddering breath- still trying to hold the dam back.
"I've got you, always. I'm not going anywhere."
And that's what does it.
The sobs come loud, violently, fast.
You shake with the force of them, coughing and gagging on as your own body can't keep up with the force of them.
"shhh, shhh. I'm here. I'm not leaving."
You shift, turning. The world blurs as you move so fast it makes you dizzy. Your face curls into his shoulder, against his chest. The dog plush squishes between your chest and his.
His legs part immediately, accepting yours between them, curling his arms tight to hold you to his chest. His head rests on the top of yours.
You feel his hand move. You freeze, a sob cutting off mid noise.
Great, great, great he-
Clink. Clink.
He folds his glasses, putting them on the pillow behind you.
His cheek presses against your hair, his breath ruffling the messy strands.
"Let it out."
You push ur face against his chest. Your ear over his heart. His heartbeat loud in your ear.
"I love you, pup."
And you let him hold the pieces together that you can't.
Hey, I know it says you're not taking requests right now, but I really need some comfort. My grandma died on the 4th of July and my cat died today and it was my fault and I want bangchan to tell me that it wasn't, so I feel less fucking guilty you can ignore this I know this is very very depressing. Thank you
grief
genre: hurt/comfort
warnings: mentions of death and crying, pet names.
masterlist
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
you were stood in the kitchen when he came home. you were staring at the broken dish on the floor, wondering if anything else could possibly go wrong. this last month had been hell and chan was there for you every step of the way. he knew how much losing your grandma had upset you. has helped you grieve over these past weeks. and when your cat passed just yesterday, it felt like the whole world was falling apart.
you struggled to function. struggled to do anything other than lay in bed and cry. and he let you. it was only healthy to cry and let it out in times of grief. he just held you, gingerly rubbed your back, hummed a soft tune of something he and the boys had been working on recently. he would wipe your nose and hold you close and bring you food.
but today was different. today you actually felt good enough to get out of bed. well good isn’t really the right word. everything still fuckin hurt. your heart was still broken. but you got up anyway. you took the longest shower and that helped you feel better a little bit more. “baby steps” you told yourself. and with chan helping you do everything, some chores had fallen to the wayside. the sink was full of dishes.
you had decided while he was out, you would do them. it would be a way for you to feel useful again. for you to feel like you’re not burdening him. for you to get back to some form of normality. but of course, you dropped a dish. it shattered on the floor, the pieces sliding across the tile around your feet.
and you stood there and just stared at it. tears brimming your eyes again for what felt like the millionth time. the lock turned on the front door and chan stepped inside. his face lit up at the sight of you out of bed and in the kitchen. “hey baby. it’s good to see you up.”
your back was to him so he couldn’t see your face. and the counter was blocking the view of the shattered dish. but he heard your sniffle. “baby?” he asked. he walked around the counter and saw the sharp pieces around your feet. and just in time for him to catch you as you sobbed and your body crumpled.
“hey hey.. careful baby. don’t step on that.” he lifted you effortlessly and spun you around to a safe part of the floor. he sat you down gingerly and you fell into his chest. he soothed you the best he could, his gentle fingers running up and down your back, his soft voice shushing you. “shh baby. you’re okay.”
“i am not okay.” you argued through your tears. “everything i touch ends up destroyed.”
his heart broke at your words. he squeezed you tighter. “that’s not true. you’re touching me right now. feel me? feel my heartbeat? i’m here with you. fully intact and not destroyed.”
“it’s all my fault..” you whispered. you looked up at him, wobbly lip and glassy eyes. “it’s all.. my fault.”
his thumb brushed across your cheek, catching the tears before they could drip on your shirt. “no it’s not.” he said softly. “unfortunately, life and death go hand in hand. you can’t have one without the other. and it hurts. i know it hurts so so much. but it absolutely is not your fault. it’s just a part of life. but you have people to lean on. you have me to lean on. and we will get through it. together. but under no circumstances is this your fault.”
your head fell against his chest again, fresh sobs washing over you. you felt bad for soaking his shirt. felt sad that you couldn’t smell his scent because your nose was so clogged. it felt like your life was falling apart and here you are, worried about crying on his shirt. you felt silly.
“let’s go lay down.” he suggested. “let me tuck you in and then i’ll come clean this up and get you a snack. yeah?”
you nodded. thankful for him.
“i love you baby. you’re gonna be okay. i promise.”
and you wanted to believe him. you chest hurt so bad, your nose was so clogged and your eyes burned. but you knew that the pain was temporary. that as long as you were with him, everything would be okay.
healing is hard. and grief is harder. but if you lean on the people who love you, let them help you carry the weight, things will get brighter.
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
an: anon, i am so so terribly sorry that you’re going through this. i really hope this helps in some small way. if it’s any form of comfort, i believe that when it’s our time to go, whether human or animal, then that’s our time. there’s nothing to be done about it. it’s out of our control. it’s not your fault. if you need, my dms are always open. i’m here for you. everything is going to be okay.
warnings: daddy content, pet names (girl, princess, baby) mentions of violence
an: oh boy this is bad (ur girl is rusty) but i couldn’t get this out of my head since i saw the clips so here ya go. now it’s out of my head ig. luv u
masterlist
everything posted here is entirely fiction and in no way represents any member of stray kids in reality
hey so i’m so emotional about this actually. it’s a big hug and he sent it on a Sunday. i love him so much. he heals me. truly. okay i’ll go cry now. love u.
Haiii lovely 💕💕 just thought I’d say we love you and your posts/ writing so so muchhhh they’re so comforting and truly the best hope you’re doing well babes -🌿
oh thank you 😭 you’re so sweet. 🩷 i hope you’re doing good as well.
