// i'm a prisoner ( of love ); @hyvnqsik - Tumblr Blog

ofryujin:

he nodded. he fucking nodded. and even though at that moment ryujin could go around loosening the fires that were locked inside his body, he can’t do anything if not kiss hyunsik back promptly. because that was all he wanted and, god, how had he forgotten that? how sweet the young male’s lips were, how well they fit together like that, as if they had been designed to belong to that way. ryujin didn’t believe in destiny, but he lived for twenty-seven years without any kind of purpose, he had never been the kind of romantic guy that expected a love who would change his life, but now everything made sense with hyunsik at his side. his hand eventually slipped into the younger’s waist, both arms hugging his torso and bringing him impossibly closer to himself, even though the kiss was still only a chaste lips contact, was enough to drag a gasp out of the older’s lips, just because that even if he was expecting something like that, doing it for real was not even close to what he had prepared himself.

hyunsik honestly didn't know how he had survived for so long without feeling ryujin's lips on his. it seemed like such an important part of their relationship to kiss him like he wanted to do all the damn time, and it was such a familiar, welcoming feeling to finally be doing it that hyunsik felt as if he was being transported back three years in the past to when they were still together, and holy shit, how he'd missed ryujin. he already knew that, but actually kissing him drove him crazy with the love he still felt for the older male. he could feel his arms around his waist and their bodies coming even closer together, and automatically his own arms were wrapped around ryujin's neck as he tentatively moved his lips against the older's, ignoring the fluttery sensation inside of him for now.

ofryujin:

the young male’s words were like fire inside his own chest, and he could feel his mouth dry because of it; because it was all too much. the way they were so close and the way hyunsik spoke as if… as if he was closer to forgiving ryujin than away. the eldest can only feel hope growing inside him. in the next second they were no longer moving and ryujin brought the hand of the younger that was entwined with his to his own shoulder, leaving it on the opposite side of the one he already had there and with his free hand he cupped the other’s face, his fingers in his jaw. “i’ll never make the same mistake twice, hyun-ah,” he murmured, because now the tips of their noses touching, ryujin pressed his foreheads, breathing in everything that came from the other male and for him he could do that for an entire life. hyunsik was all he wanted to breathe. “i can’t live without you,” he knew he was contradicting himself, but he didn’t care. hyunsik’s love had given him a completely different perspective of life. “be mine again,” his words, whispered against the younger’s lips, carried a plea that even the eldest didn’t know.

it was obvious that their focus had completely drifted from dancing, since they had stopped completely by now, and hyunsik noticed that he was way too deep into all of that. he could feel and partly see as ryujin moved his hand so he had both on the older's shoulders, and then his hand was on his face, and shit, it was all too real, too much. too good. he wanted to believe ryujin's words, he really did, even more so because he could feel the sincerity behind them, but it was tough to leave his points aside for the greater good, as it seemed. his eyes fell shut the moment they got too close to each other, unsure that he could handle such close proximity between them, and there were shivers running through his spine at the feeling of his lips brushing his own and his words that affected the younger so much. at the moment, though, he couldn't do more than just briefly nod, pretending like that wasn't a big deal when it obviously was, and hyunsik impulsively did the only thing his mind came up with at the moment: he closed the distance between them, capturing ryujin's lips in his in such a calm, familiar kiss that he lost track of things around him, only thinking of ryujin and nothing else.

ofryujin:

the moment his words were out of his lips, ryujin knew what to come next, and he could take it back or make a joke, but it was too late when he answered. instead of feeling offended, something lit in the older male and he felt even more courageous. hyunsik wanted him to move all his roots around him, to hold him close and to assure him that none of this was going to happen again? ryujin could definitely do that. without warning, he managed to entwine his fingers, tightening his fingers around the younger’s gently as he turns his face toward him, his movements diminishing considerably since in seconds the elder was lost in the features of the other, staring at every small space in his face, leaving nothing out, until his eyes paused over his plump, pinky, inviting lips and then into hyunsik’s eyes. “this is a good thing i’m not planning to go anywhere again, then,” his voice was so low it could be compared to a whisper. “and even if i go, i’ll take you with me to anywhere.”

before hyunsik could even properly process what he himself had said to ryujin, he could feel the older's fingers intertwining with his and that in itself made hyun a bit more nervous than he already was; the way he squeezed his hand with so much affection and was now looking at him in a way that got hyunsik transfixed enough that he couldn't look away even for a split second, breath caught in his throat. his eyes roamed over ryujin's face, capturing every detail he already knew by heart, and his words hit home in a way that he would never be able to understand. with raised eyebrows, he found it difficult to maintain eye contact with the other for so long, but he still stared straight at him. "the thing is, i'll never be able to forgive you again if you leave me once more. there's only so much i can handle, and i don't think being heartbroken twice counts", he pressed his lips together, not wanting to sound hopeful, but he knew he already did. "so if you do want me back... you have to take me with you, no matter what."

ofryujin:

saying that ryujin was acting normal near the younger was a slander, he could be facing a facade, but even then it was still possible to pull the strings of tension from inside his chest. rolled his eyes when he heard the younger male’s words, and then he decided to pull the other closer to him, now connecting their bodies in a way he hadn’t done before. it was as if the whole world of ryujin revolved around one person and he was completely nervous about it; anxious the heart getting off the route that should be normal and it was like a party going on inside her stomach. It was funny, though. after so many years, ryujin still felt like a teenager near the youngest. “i’ll try not to step on it,” he mumbled after a while, his face over hyunsik’s shoulder. “i can’t deal with you leaving me.”

all of the space between their bodies from previously got completely eliminated when ryujin pulled him closer and then they were really chest to chest, so fucking close in a way that made hyunsik press his lips together, a bit nervous about all of that. they had started to move their bodies slowly side to side by now and even though he wasn’t looking at ryujin, he could feel his presence in a way that woke every cell in his body up. he was about to answer something about him being clumsy when he heard ryujin’s words and his breath got stuck in his throat, making the younger have to take a deep breath before he was talking, in a lower tone than before, and he hated the thought of saying that, but the words just left his lips unannounced. “i barely could deal with you leaving me too, but that’s on a whole other scale.”

ofryujin:

he was surprised that the other accepted his invitation so easily, but tried not to show it, still wearing his facet of confident when ryujin was actually shaking inside. “i don’t need music to dance with you,” he smiled tentatively at the younger male, pulling him toward himself gently and running his free arm around his waist, keeping it as high as possible and not sticking their bodies together because, oh well, ryujin didn’t want the other to rush out of it at that moment. even then, only that closeness was enough to make his heart frantic inside his chest, and, frankly, who needed music when he had a personal orchestra in his chest? “i’m not as good at dancing as you are, please don’t make it personal,” ryujin teased, giggling softly.

hyun ended up chuckling because of the cheesiness in ryujin's words, shaking his head slightly, but it was not like he needed music to dance to; it just gave him better ambiance to dance in. so he allowed the older male to pull him closer, amused at how they were gonna do that when his free hand came to rest on his shoulder, the classic slow dance style. shaking his head slightly, hyun had a barely-there smile on his lips when he heard ryujin, not really caring about that. "it's okay, i don't mind. but if you step on my toes i'm leaving", he said, joking, but he tried to keep a straight face at that.

ofryujin:

ryujin rolled his eyes when he heard the youngest, letting his comment die there, even though a smile was spreading on his lips because of hyunsik’s last words. not wanting to bring that hyunsik was an extremely confusing guy and sometimes he didn’t understand him and that made him extremely frustrated, but the older male understood that the other should be in some kind of internal conflict with everything that was happening between them, anyway their situation wasn’t the easiest, definitely. drinking the rest of the wine he had in his glass, ryujin felt brave enough to rise from his chair, reaching out one hand toward the other. “dance with me, hyun-ah,” he asked, ignoring the fact that it had no music playing. he just wanted to be close to the younger. “you owe me a dance, anyway.”

it didn't take long until hyunsik was finishing up his food, honestly having appreciated it and he was just about to tell that to ryujin when he saw the other downing the rest of the wine and getting up from his chair, making hyun raise his eyebrows at him when he heard his request and glanced nervously at the hand outstretched towards him. ryujin wanted to dance? in silence? that seemed like the perfect recipe for a heart attack, in hyunsik's honest opinion. pressing his lips together, he decided to not argue too much, hesitantly putting his hand over ryujin's when he stood up, quirking one of his eyebrows at him. "there's no music, though.”

ofryujin:

ryujin snorted to himself. “as if you have the right to think something,” he laughed softly, inconsiderately at hyunsik’s opinion because really, when he would give himself credit, right? trying to play his indifferent card, ryujin began to eat a little of every thing that was still occupying his plate. “did you know that i was considered the jealous boyfriend of the night? people said that i didn’t take my eyes off you even for a minute, even when i was away. it’s just understandable, honestly,” it was a pretty difficult task to try to take your eyes off the love of your life after so long without seeing them, ryujin’s mind completed, thanking that he had left it only for himself. although hyunsik looked a little better with their whole situation, it still felt like they were taking baby steps. “i mean… not that it was an exclusive thing that night. i may be biased, but you’re still going to be the most handsome man in any other room, any other night, anywhere. i don’t care how cliche that sounded.”

hyunsik only let the moment pass, not really wanting to engage in some sort of discussion that wouldn't really take them anywhere, but before he continued the task of finishing his food, his brows were being raised as the older male started talking, the idea of him not taking his eyes off of hyunsik the whole night sending shivers up his spine and he bit down on his bottom lip, picking up his glass to drink more of the wine even though it was almost over, and a laugh bubbled out of mouth at ryujin's cliche comment, making the younger shake his head vehemently. "you're definitely biased. and very cliche, but i think you already know that. it's cute, though", he said, his last words leaving his lips so quietly that he wouldn't be surprised if he hadn't heard them -- actually, he'd be thankful, because soon enough he was blushing again and going back to eating.

ofryujin:

ryujin wanted more than anything to erase the turbulent past they had, but now that was part of their story together, stuck in their hearts regardless of what they did and where they went. so what he had left to do was to go over all the issues they have, and the older male was really working to be able to do that, and consequently to bring the younger to achieve the same goal as himself. “you’re not funny,” he teased, chuckling softly before eating more. for a while, all that could be heard was the chewing of both, and ryujin didn’t care about the silence —– especially if on the other side of the table was hyunsik that kept him company. “i didn’t take you to dance with me at the ball,” he recalls, sighing to himself. “which is a shame because i bet everyone was looking to have the most handsome man of the night in the middle of the dance floor.”

hyunsik let out a small and brief chuckle when he heard ryujin, knowing that he knew it was all a joke and he wasn't actually being serious about thinking he'd burn down the kitchen or something stupid like that. he was happy they weren't sharing an uncomfortable silent moment, thinking that if that was happening a couple of days ago, the outcome for this night would be much more different and awkward. when he heard ryujin start to talk again, his eyebrows shot up as he stared at him, pressing his lips together and shaking his head slightly at his words, head hanging for an instant as he tried to hide the blush on his cheeks, but soon enough he was looking up at him again, a small smile on his lips. "i don't think i was the most handsome man there, but i'll take your compliment."

ofryujin:

when he lowered his arm again, ryujin took his glass and drank some of his wine, laughing low to himself at the other, and shrugged briefly. “i’m very careful… but you know how clumsy i can be too sometimes,” it was like having war flashbacks there, making assumptions of a past that they had shared together but which now seemed like a completely different life. if it hadn’t been for hyunsik to still have the same old-eyesmile and the soft voice that did wonders inside the elder’s chest, he was able to believe that it was some kind of parallel universe and they were completely different people prone to fall in love with each other by the end of the night; the keyword here being fall in love, because ryujin was already in love with hyunsik for so long that he didn’t even know what it was like when he didn’t felt like it. “next time, you’re cooking, yeah?”

he nodded slowly when he heard the other boy, having images inside his brain at the moment that he'd rather not remember of right now. however, what was done was done and now he couldn't stop thinking about how they were before ryujin had left. it left a bitter sensation inside his chest, but he tried to put it aside for the not-bitter meal they were trying to have there. his words made hyunsik have to bite down on his bottom lip to refrain from smiling at the fact that there probably was gonna be a next time for them, and even though he was the one who was supposed to lead them in whatever direction he wanted, he was still getting used to the fact that ryujin still wanted him around even after all that time. "yeah. i think that'll be less dangerous."

ofryujin:

if someone had come up to ryujin months ago and said that he would be at a romantic dinner facing hyunjin and they would be smiling at each other like that, he would just shake his head (and probably kill the person by putting such thoughts into his head that way). there, he could only truly feel fulfilled by what was happening and by the other not be running when he inadvertently mentioned a future between them that he really wanted to happen —– but that wasn’t just his own choice anyway. ryujin pretended to be offended, narrowing his eyes at the younger male. “hey, i’m almost a master of the kitchen already… aren’t you eating the dinner i made by myself with my own hands, hyunsik-ssi?” he says in a playful tone, but raises a little of one of his hands, rolling the sleeve of his coat for a brief moment. “some burns maybe, but i’m a whole and you’re loving my food. so it was worth it, i would do it again ten thousand times if i needed to take a smile of yours.”

hyunsik used the fact that he was still munching on his food to his advantage when he had to hide a smile at ryujin's words, because yes, he didn't think he was awful in the kitchen, so there was no real reason why he should think that ryujin would burn the place down just by helping him out a bit. he chose to glance over at the older male at the moment he was rolling up his sleeves and his eyes got attracted to his arms for an instant before he was swallowing his food and drinking more of the wine, a small smile growing on his lips as he heard him. "you should be careful in the kitchen, though. try not to burn anything or even yourself. you can never be too safe", he shrugged, nodding quickly afterwards. "but yes, this is very good", i'm proud of you, he wanted to say; but he kept that to himself.

ofryujin:

hyunsik’s laughter sounded like music to the older male’s ears and he just wanted to keep hearing as long as he could, but he would settle for that moment, watching him closely (at least now he was allowed to actually do it) while he waited for some reaction, any reaction that would have shown that ryujin had screwed up with everything at once and that his food was horrible. however that wasn’t what he had, a grin being forced out of the older male’s lips as he picked up his chopsticks with a little relief built up in his chest. “better than yours? please, this isn’t even close to what your food tastes like,” ryujin was wrinkling his nose for a moment, before feeding himself some of the food, testing it himself and deciding that for the first time he had done well; maybe it wasn’t the seasoning but the amount of love he had put there hoping to impress the younger. “now it’ll be easier for you to cook because i’ll always be around the kitchen to help you with—” the moment he realized what he was talking about, his eyes widened lightly and he almost choked on his own food. “i mean…” ryujin was shoving more food into his mouth just to have space in his words. “maybe… in the future, i meant it.”

hyunsik usually preferred to eat his favorite food when he himself had prepared him, since he knew what he liked best and what he didn’t like so much, so it was easier to work and eat like that. however, he could imagine himself wanting to taste ryujin’s food as he progressed, and the idea of that made him press his lips together and shake his head to himself, getting rid of those thoughts. however, soon enough he was hearing ryujin talk about helping him in the kitchen whenever he wanted to cook and the promise behind his words, the not-so-subtle reference to a future he was thinking up for the both of them, made hyunsik freeze for a moment, food halfway to his mouth. he proceeded to shove it in as quickly as he could then, taking his time with chewing to save some talking time as he kept his eyes on the glass of wine he took a sip of after swallowing down the food. he had decided to give ryujin a chance, hadn’t he? so he couldn’t act like that. nibbling on his bottom lip, he nodded briefly. “yeah... maybe”, he muttered, glancing over at him for a short moment before he was eating again. “but only if i make sure there’s no risk of you burning down the kitchen first.”

ofryujin:

hummed contentedly to hyunsik’s question, deciding to give himself the liberty to serve the two of them before sitting down in front of the younger —– in any other situation, would have placed the chair next to him on the table, but in that situation believed that they would be more comfortable in that current position. when he finished serving their both dishes, he began to pour more wine for himself as for hyun. “it just needed a little more attention, but at least i had no difficulty finding anything that the recipe asked for,” he shrugged briefly, picking up his glass and sipping wine again, trained eyes on hyunsik without even think of anything else around them at that moment. “i’m going to let you test this first. i don’t doubt that i’ll suffocate if i eat this without knowing if you like it or not,” he gestured with his hand for the other to eat first. “and please be honest.”

hyunsik watched intently as the older male served both of their dishes and, honestly, it didn’t look half bad. he was actually looking forward to officially tasting it and finding out if it was good or not -- although he wouldn’t be surprised if it was good. ryujin could do anything if he put his mind into it. after he had poured more wine for him, hyun took another sip of it, nodding slightly at his words, but when he put his glass down, a small chuckle left his lips at the prospect of being the holder of the verdict regarding his food, but it made sense. “alright, then. i’ll be as honest as i’ll ever be”, he pressed his lips together to hold back a smile, picking up his chopsticks and eating a bit of the food, tasting it in his mouth for a moment before he was lighting up, smiling at the older boy when he was done swallowing. “whoa, this is good! you did an awesome job, ryujin-ssi. i know it’s not easy to get it right on the first tries, and this is almost as good as mine”, he joked, a small smile on his lips before he took another bite, genuinely enjoying it.

ofryujin:

the smile that appeared in the other’s direction was a small thing, but it was equally soft and loving, as was everything around them at that moment. looking at hyunsik, he could not put into words how he would do anything to see that man just happy, not for all he had done for him before, but because he wanted him to be the happiest man he had ever stepped on the face of the earth. “everything for you,” he murmured, still watching the other and then decided he should break the little limbo they had come in when he put his own glass and set it on the table, doing the same with that of the youngest as he circled the table to pull the chair out for him. “i’m going to get our dinner, i’ll be right back,” winked at him and walked toward the kitchen door. inside there, ryujin let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding, forcing his eyes closed to try to control the beating of his heart, and when he thought he was feeling better, he began to sort things out to put everything on a tray and bring it to the table where they would have their dinner. “i tried to make saengseon jjigae,” he admitted, amidst a laugh. “this is fucking hard, let me tell you.”

if hyunsik was already blushing, he straight up turned into a very red tomato once he heard those simple words coming from ryujin, and he already knew the the other man still felt very strongly towards him, but it still hit him just how much he wanted him close but at the same time not. so he just watched as he got his glass of wine and put it on the table, pressing his lips together once hyun sat down on the chair ryujin was holding out for him, a small thanks leaving his lips. when he left the area, hyun decided to just enjoy the way everything was decorated, bringing the rose close to his face so he could smell it and he literally had to put his hand over his mouth so he wouldn’t end up giggling. he was just feeling very giddy right now. when ryujin came back, he was still holding the flower on his lap, but he had stopped smiling like a goof, eyebrows raised at the tray, very surprised when he realized what exactly that was. “you... made my favorite food?” he asked, softly, looking over at ryujin before pressing his lips together, smirking in a playful way to mask his surprise and excitement. “it’s a risk, you know.”

ofryujin:

he accepted the other’s praise, smiling lightly at himself with that next and nodding only once. “even though it’s a home date, it must be nice, right ?!” his laughter came quietly then, and before things could get weird again, he got up from the couch, risking his free hand to hyunsik. “i think it’s almost good. let me get you to our table, sir?” he waited for the other to come with him, chewing his bottom lip on the way from the living room to the back of the house, where he definitely did his best to impress the younger, the table in front of the pool and all the candles around was definitely an idea from his dear mother, but he’d done it all by himself. took one of the roses that lay on the table, reaching it toward hyunsik. “i believe i owe you flowers?”

hyunsik only nodded when he heard ryujin, because soon enough he was getting up from the couch and hyunsik eyed his outstretched hand curiously, feeling a weird tug down his tummy when he heard him, pressing his lips together as he held ryujin’s hand, standing up and allowing him to lead him to wherever the heck he was going. however, it was like all the air left his lungs when he finally saw the decorations on the outside of the house, mouth a little bit agape as he took the beauty of it all in and how it was just so fucking romantic. gulping down after closing his mouth when he looked back at ryujin, a small smile appeared on his lips as he held the flower that was being offered to him, cheeks burning a bit, and he looked around once again, biting down on his lower lip and then staring at the rose in his hand. “ryujin... this is very nice. like... really, really nice.”

ofryujin:

if ryujin was being honest he could stand there looking at hyunsik all night and that would be satisfying anyway. but he didn’t want the mood between them to be even more tense and weird than it had been the last time —– he still loves you, he still loves you, he still loves you; it was what his mind repeated frantically so that he would know that all that was worth it at the end of it all. “i don’t know, to be honest,” the frown between his eyebrows gave up his sudden confusion. “actually, jaehyun-ah said it was all very good, but i can’t trust in the opinion of this brat. so we’ll have to wait and see,” he shrugged. “you are… very handsome today. not that you haven’t been lately, but… it’s just good to see you again, i guess. like that.”

hyunsik had his eyebrows slightly arched when he heard ryujin, chuckling quietly at the mention of jaehyun having liked the food, to which he nodded slightly. “maybe it is good and he wasn’t lying. i’m sure it can’t be that bad”, he said, but before he could even process what was happening, ryujin’s words were hitting him all at once and he bit down on his lowed lip, looking away as he sipped his wine again, trying to mask his soft smile behind the glass. “i... thank you. i was kind of worried that i had overdressed for the occasion, but... you look very nice as well.”

ofryujin:

the other saying that he was anxious only gave ryujin a little more hope, even though it might be early to feed himself that way with expectations (fuck expectations, he already knew hyunsik loved him back anyway). he grimaced briefly. “a real mess,” he chuckled softly. “i went to the grocery store to buy the things i needed, but then i had no idea what i really needed and i had to research everything right there. i just noticed that i am probably the most disorganized person living in this earth,” ryujin left a dramatic sigh burst out of his lips, but he had some amusement there. jesus— being able to be talking again with hyunsik looked like he was floating to the sky. “jaehyun-ah was here for a good part of the afternoon, he helped me a little. he told me to say hi to you,” he shrugged.

hyun could only raise his eyebrows when he heard ryujin; not that he was all that surprised, seeing as he apparently hadn’t changed anything since they had last interacted that much, but he still let out a quick laugh, nodding in agreement as he called himself the most disorganized person living in this earth. also, hyun almost let out a comment about him being the reason ryujin actually took care of stuff a couple of years ago, but he held himself back from doing so. “oh. that’s nice. tell him i said hi too”, he smiled a bit, drinking more of the wine before pressing his lips together, raising his brows at him. “so... did the food turn out good?”

ofryujin:

“okay. go wait in the living room then,” he nodded to the place, just a few steps from the door before walking away to the kitchen in the end of the hallway here he could let go the breath he was holding from the moment hyunsik stepped on his door frame. get your shit together, his brain shouted at him, and for the first time it was right. he picked up the wine he had separated for that night in the fridge, before opening it he peeked into the state the food was in and took two glasses, filling them in half before walking back into the living room. held out one of the glasses toward hyunsik, sipped a little of his own and pressed his lips together. “how was your… day?”

hyunsik only nodded slightly before heading towards the living room, in a couple of seconds finding himself sitting down on the couch, not very comfortably for the awkwardness he was still feeling, but not too rigid. just. normal. he had so many thoughts running through his head that he only realized ryujin was there with him when he saw the glass being offered to him, to which he murmured a quiet “thank you” after he got it, sipping a bit of the wine and fighting a smile against the edge of the glass at his attempt at a conversation. “it was boring. i spent all day doing nothing and procrastinating. i was also very anxious, so...” he said, shrugging; he had decided to talk a bit more so the mood would lighten up. “what about you?”

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// i'm a prisoner ( of love );