Idek at this point

TRIGGER WARNING: ED 5'8, sw: 63kg, ugw: 48kg, Don't report just block!!! active august 2021, They/Them 

[i-am-going-to-cry]

28/6/21

i am 20 hours into a 24 hour fast. i will break the fast with dinner tonight but the last time i ate was around 8pm yesterday, so i’ll need to hope that we are having dinner later tonight. i am proud of myself, even though 20 hours is small compared to some things i’ve seen, i’ve never had this much control before, so i am proud of my achievements even if i dont make it to 24. 

my parents are becoming more unaware of my eating habits, so i think i can hide it from them again. 

[i-am-going-to-cry]

17/5/21

regretting recovery. i’m at 59kg again. but at least i’m not 64kg anymore. my parents found out about my eating disorder. so idk how to hide it from them anymore. please help ahaha. you can message me or comment some tips so hide it from them because idk what to do. i hate recovery, its awful. 

[i-am-going-to-cry]

12/5/21

so I havnt posted in a while and I felt kinda bad. I attempted recovery for a week which went fine but I’m going back to starving because recovery made me gain weight. Thankfully it didn’t make me gain too much and that’s been easy for me to drop. I’m doing a 24 hour fast from 5pm yesterday to 5pm today. That’s all I have for now will update later

[i-am-going-to-cry]

25/4/21

decided to have a metabolism booster day today. so im going to be eating whatever i want, hoping it wont become a binge. ive been stuck at 58-57.9 for a while, hoping this well help. 

my heart rate slowed down alot last night. i was concerned. im not sure if it was related to starving, if you know please comment and tell me because im kinda concerned. but thats why i chose a metabolism booster today. here is my breakfast, my dinner is about 200 cals, and im not sure about what snacks ill eat today or my lunch, but i will be stuffing myself today so that my metabolism will speed back up again. 

stay safe my lovely people xxx

[i-am-going-to-cry]

24/4/21

sorry ive been inactive for a bit. with school and my mental health goinng so terribly i just kinda forgot about this. ive hit 57.7kgs, and am excited to see my collar bones and my ribcage when i stand up straight now, gives me an excuse to have good posture ahaha. 

planning on not eating anything until dinner with the family again. i have alot of studying to do for maths and some other subjects so that should distract me from food, or at least be an excuse not to eat for my family. 

update: a day full of studying always gets me in the mood for really random cravings. i dont usually like Vegemite on toast, but i was craving it so i looked up the cals and had some. the bread my family buys (88cals) toasted and some butter (36 cals, salted) and half of the serving of Vegemite (4.5cals). i also had a corn thin (23cals) and 8 rice crackers(96cals 😩) and then a stick of gum(5cals) and then a diet coke(2cals). overall 259cals, and then i did a salt flush because i didn’t want to have that many calories anymore. 

for those of you who are female or female presenting, be careful today, remember to stay safe. i personally, am not going outdoors today just to make sure and also so i can study but for those of you that are just make sure you are safe. 

thank you my lovely people xxx

[i-am-going-to-cry]

20/4/21

stepped on the scale today. back up to 59kgs. I am disappointed in myself, although i only gained 0.2kgs, which is probably the food i’ve been eating recently. but hey, at least i’m not my sw anymore. walked home from school and burned an extra 263 calories, which i’m feeling great about. 

stay safe my lovely people xxx

[i-am-going-to-cry]

19/4/21

i’m such a failure. i’m on 400 cals today and i still want to eat more. i was supposed to be fasting today but i ate something anyways. i still have to eat dinner tonight. i’m going to gain all that shit weight back and i hate it. i want to get better because i dont want to feel this way about food but i’m at 58.8kgs, i’m finally losing weight and now i’m just failing myself. why am i doing this, i just want to be 50kgs but i want to eat food as well. if you’re just starting out STOP NOW its hell. you dont want this. 

[i-am-going-to-cry]

18/4/21

i did great yesterday. dropped down to 58.7kgs/129lbs, which means ive finally dropped under 130lbs and am getting closer and closer to my UGW. i am just so happy. i always make sure to manifest and find time to talk to my family during the day, as well as fishing around in the cupboards so that they can hear and think i am eating. planning on fasting until dinner again, maybe ill crack a corn thin (23 cal) in half and eat that, then eat the other half if i get too hungry (good way to cut down on calories, half your meals and eat the other half later in the day, that way you dont eat two meals, rather you eat one) and i’ll treat myself to a diet coke (2 cal) 

update: I was stupid, and I binged. but I guess the upside is I haven't had a large metabolism booster in a while. I feel sick, and disgusting. i will get back on track.  

stay safe my lovely people xxx

[enjoy-the-life-baby]

If you support gay marriage reblog this. If you're on the homophobic side, keep scrolling.

[666lando666]

🦇

[skip-dinner-be-thiner]

Fuckiiiing uunnnfollow mmmmmme iiiiif yyyyou dddddon’t

[buiimarexic]

^

[i-am-going-to-cry]

💖safe foods✨

- corn thins

- berries (any kind)

- watermelon

🖕fear foods🍔

- pizza (but i never really liked pizza so my family doesn't get suspicious)

- Welch’s fruit candy

- milk. (weirdly, I know) 

- peanut butter (only sometimes tho, depends how much there is) 

[i-am-going-to-cry]

17/4/21

weighed myself this morning, 59.1, so exciting! this makes me feel so good, i know its not much but its good for me. drinking cold water only today (cold water burns more calories because your body is trying to warm it up) and 23 cals for breakfast (corn thins). 

thats all i will have until dinner with the family tonight. planning on maybe going for a run today, although where i live there isn't much space to run. but i will definitely do a workout, i haven't worked out in a while and i feel disgusting for it. I kinda binged yesterday, it wasn't big, but i shouldn't have eaten it. i am determined to get back on track today. its ok to binge, as long as you get back on track eventually. 

stay safe my lovely people xxx

[i-am-going-to-cry]

16/4/21

tempted to binge, but i should be fine. hiding from the kitchen ahaha.  my current BMI is 20, exact. my ugbmi is 16.9, but im tempted to make it lower because i hate myself. 

goodluck my lovely people xxx                               

[i-am-going-to-cry]

15/4/21

didn’t do great today. lots of sugar and junk. i am so disappointed in myself. i hope to start again tomorrow.  

good luck my lovely people xxx

[pepsietwist]

don't reward yourself with food, you are not a dog;

don't reward yourself with food, you are not a dog;

don't reward yourself with food, you are not a dog;

don't reward yourself with food, you are not a dog;

don't reward yourself with food, you are not a dog;

don't reward yourself with food, you are not a dog; don't reward yourself with food, you are not a dog; don't reward yourself with food, you are not a dog; don't reward yourself with food, you are not a dog; don't reward yourself with food, you are not a dog; don't reward yourself with food, you are notadogdontrewardyourselfwithfoodyouarenotadogdontrewardyourselfwithfoodyouarenotadogdontrewardyourselfwithfoodyouarenotadog;

[i-am-going-to-cry]

14/4/21

not doing great today, I had to have a slice of cake for breakfast (family tradition for birthdays). I am going out with a friend and am hoping to be able to skip lunch. But it sucks that today I’m going to have two meals instead of one. But I’ll get back on track soon. I am 5 days binge free. Good luck and stay safe my lovely people xxx

[cxffeeandteaforme]

cravings masterpost

over the years, i have been taught what certain cravings mean and how i can replace them in a healthy way. so i figured, why not share it with you guys? 

if you crave chocolate…

your body needs magnesium. a quick fix for this is raw nuts and seeds, legumes, or fresh fruits. 

if you crave sweets…

your body might need some of the following: 

-chromium - have some broccoli, grapes, cheese, or chicken. 

-carbon - chow down on some fresh fruit. 

-phosphorus - chicken, eggs, legumes, or grains can help. 

-tryptophan - similar to magnesium, have some raw nuts and seeds, legumes, or fresh fruits. 

if you crave bread or toast… 

your body needs nitrogen. have some high protein foods such as fish, meat, nuts, or beans. 

if you crave fatty foods… 

your body needs calcium. broccoli, kale, legumes, or cheese help. 

if you crave alcohol… 

your body might need some of the following:

-protein - think seafood, dairy, or nuts. 

-avenin - chow down on some granola or oatmeal. 

-calcium - broccoli, kale, legumes, or cheese help.  

-potassium - bitter greens or seaweed usually do the trick. 

if you crave ice cream/shaved ice… 

your body needs iron. some suggestions are fish, greens, seaweed, or black cherries. 

if you crave burned or grilled food… 

your body needs carbon. chow down on some fresh fruits. 

if you crave soda and carbonated drinks… 

your body needs calcium.  broccoli, kale, legumes, or cheese help.

if you crave salty foods…

your body needs chloride. goat milk (yes i know that’s a little odd) and fish help. 

if you crave acid foods (burgers)… 

your body needs magnesium. just like chocolate, have some raw nuts and seeds, legumes, or fresh fruits. 

if you crave cool drinks (milkshakes or malts)… 

your body needs manganese. some suggestions are walnuts, pecans, almonds, pineapple, or blueberries. 

if you’re PMS-ing… 

your body needs zinc. red meat, seafood, leafy greens, and root vegetables are helpful. 

if you’re overeating… 

your body might need some of the following: 

-silicon - nuts and seeds are a quick fix. 

-tryptophan - eat some cheese, raisins, sweet potatoes, or spinach.

-tyrosine - vitamin c supplements should do the trick. 

if you crave tobacco…

your body might need some of the following: 

-silicon - nuts and seeds help, but stay away from refined starches. 

-tyrosine - vitamin c supplements or red, orange, or green fruits and veggies can help. 

disclaimer: i am not a health professional in any way, this is just advice i have been given over the years. 

[controllingmysadness]

me craving all the above 👁👄👁

[i-am-going-to-cry]

13/4/21

✨water for breakfast✨. today will hopefully go the same as yesterday, no food until dinner with the family which i sadly have to eat. yesterday i almost binged, but i stopped myself. i don’t purge, its not my thing i guess, but i wanted to so bad. i am going to share some of the reasons why i want to do this:

You will look dainty, like a ghost, or a skeleton

Perfect ana girl

I wont be the second fattest in the group anymore 😇✨

Skinny calves

Less to shave

Cute outfits/baggy clothes

I will look ✨ e t h e r i a l✨

To stop my family from thinking I am a fucking vacuum eating all the sugar and shit.

update: my mother made me eat lunch today, but i managed to toss 95% of it in the trash, and i chewed&spat a cupcake. i am so annoyed but i know what i’ve done is better than eating the stuff i got rid of. hoping it won’t lead to a binge, i’m 4 days binge free. 

update#2: i ate 400cals. at least in a snack. i’m gonna skip dinner tonight, it’ll be hard to convince my parents but whatever.  anything to be skinny. if i manage to skip dinner, i’ll stay under for today and still be successful. 

i wish you all luck but remember to stay safe and hydrated my lovely people xxx